From Best Friend to Bride (11 page)

His tongue slid along her bottom lip, his kisses softer, shorter...as if he didn’t want this moment to end. At least, that’s how she hoped he felt.

“Stay with me,” she muttered around his kisses. “In my bed. Just for tonight.”

His darkened, heavy-lidded gaze met hers. She thought for sure he’d deny her—they’d only agreed on this one time—but she had to ask. She wasn’t ready to let him go.

Circling his arms tighter around her waist, Cameron came to his feet. Megan’s legs instinctively wrapped around him.

“You seem to like my legs here,” she joked, hoping to break the tension because he still hadn’t answered her.

He headed out into the hall and toward her bedroom. “I intend to keep them here.”

Chapter Thirteen

H
e’d guaranteed nothing beyond that night. Hadn’t promised pretty words or a happily-ever-after. Megan had known exactly what she was getting into with him. He’d made his intentions perfectly clear before he’d peeled her out of her clothes.

So why did he feel like a jerk for leaving her before she woke?

Because he was.

Cameron sat on his deck, looking out over the pond as the morning sun reflected off the water. He didn’t take time out here anymore, didn’t just relax and enjoy life.

Last night he’d enjoyed life to the absolute fullest, which only made him want more. But his career didn’t mesh well with a personal life. He couldn’t compartmentalize and keep things separated, neat and orderly anymore. But he wanted Megan in one area, the friend area. He wanted her far away from anything that could harm her, like her useless brother who hadn’t been able to protect her last night.

Cameron cursed, propping his bare feet up on the rail. He hadn’t been able to protect her, either. Apparently he was no better than Evan at this point.

Opting to beat himself up over how everything went down last night was better than rehashing all that could have gone wrong in those few seconds. It also kept his mind off what had happened afterward.

Okay, so that was a lie. Even Cameron couldn’t pretend to be unfazed by what had happened at Megan’s house. How could he forget how perfectly they’d come together? How she’d clung to him? He could practically still feel her breath on his cheek, feel her curvy body beneath his hands. Those sighs of pleasure tickling his ear and the way she called his name on a groan were locked so deep in to his soul, he knew forgetting the intimacy they’d shared was impossible.

Closing his eyes, Cameron clenched his fists on the arms of his Adirondack chair. He hadn’t given a thought to what would happen after he’d made love to Megan. Hadn’t cared about feelings or excuses after the fact. All Cameron had wanted was to feel her, consume her. The fantasy come to life had been his only focus, and now here he sat with a sated body and a guilty conscience.

Between his ever-evolving feelings and the worry he’d seen in her eyes when he’d arrived at her house, Cameron had told himself he was there to console her. That was a flat-out lie. He’d needed to comfort himself because he’d been a trembling mess.

Now his priority was to check in with the station, where some of the FBI agents had set up temporary headquarters until this case was over. He knew if something major had happened, he would have been notified. Still, as the chief, he needed to check in and get an update.

His cell vibrated in his pocket. Dropping his feet to the deck floor, he slid the phone out and read the screen.

I didn’t take you for a coward

The harsh words hit right where Megan intended...his heart. Her text couldn’t have been more accurate. He was a coward, and she’d called him out. One of the things he loved about her was her ability to never back down.

He honestly had no clue how to reply, and this wasn’t a conversation to be had via text. He wouldn’t be that guy and he sure as hell would treat Megan with more respect. The thought was laughable, considering he’d done the walk of shame out her back door, but he would make it up to her. Somehow.

Ignoring the text wasn’t an option, either. Cameron quickly replied.

Be at my place at noon

That would give him time to check in with the station, figure out where the hell Evan was and grab a quick shower. Cameron planned to have a little talk with Evan. Cameron had to play every scenario out in his head because he couldn’t tip off the guy. But he had every intention of making it clear that dragging Megan into his illegal mess was unacceptable and intolerable.

The phone vibrated in his hand.

If I have time

Smiling, Cameron came to his feet. She’d be there. He was sure of it. If she wasn’t, then he’d find her. They weren’t done. Not by a long shot.

Now he just had to figure out what the hell to do with his feelings and how to eliminate the possibility of hurting hers. Because, damn it, he still wanted her. Wanted Megan with a passion that went beyond all they’d shared last night. How could he tell her that and still try to keep her at a distance? How could he even try to take a chance with her but keep her safe and away from his job?

Granted, he worked in a small town and the crime rate, for the most part, was low. But there were instances that crept up, and he was the man to take control. He couldn’t have his life both ways, and the decision ate at him because he knew he’d have to give up something—or someone—he loved.

Cameron headed inside to make a few calls. First things first. Right now he needed to find Evan and have a man-to-man talk. Then he’d deal with Megan.

* * *

If Cameron St. John thought he could turn her world inside out with a few orgasms, leave without a word and then have the nerve to summon her to his house, he truly didn’t know her.

Megan took a deep breath, counted backward from ten and mounted the steps to Mac and Bev’s house. She hadn’t seen Cameron’s truck in the drive or along the street, so she figured now would be a good time to stop and check on Bev. No doubt the woman was fed up with St. John testosterone ordering her to stay put while they did everything for her.

Megan didn’t want to go in all angry and frustrated because then she’d have to explain. There was absolutely no way she’d be revealing to Cameron’s parents why she was a bit irritable this morning.

After ringing the doorbell, Megan stepped back and waited. Mac pulled the door open, sending the fall floral wreath swaying against the glass.

“Megan.” Mac extended his hand, taking hers and pulling her into the foyer. “I’m so glad to see you.”

Laughing, Megan allowed herself to be ushered in. “Wow, I’ve never had such a lovely greeting before.”

“I think Bev hates me,” he whispered. “She just threatened to bash me with her crutch if I asked her one more time if she needed anything.”

Megan patted Mac’s arm and smiled. “I’m sure the threat was out of love.”

Glancing toward the living room, Mac shook his head. “I doubt it,” he said, turning back to her. “If you’re going to be a few minutes, would you mind if I ran out to the hardware store? I hate to leave her even though she’s told me to go.”

Megan nodded. “You go on. We’ll be just fine.”

Mac seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as his shoulders relaxed. “Thanks, Megan. I’ll only be twenty minutes, at the most.”

“Take your time.”

Mac eased around her, grabbed his keys from the table and headed out the door. Still amused at the fear in Mac’s eyes, Megan headed to the living room, where Bev had her feet propped up on the footrest of the recliner. Some cooking channel was muted on the TV.

“Thank God he’s gone,” Bev said as soon as Megan stepped into the room. “That man needs to stop hovering.”

Megan sank onto the edge of the old sofa, angling her body to face Bev. “He just loves you.”

Bev dropped the remote into her lap. “I know. I keep telling myself that, but it’s a broken ankle. I’m not dying.”

Megan glanced around the walls at all the years of memories, family vacations and military medals adorning the space. This family was full of love, full of life and always so supportive.

She couldn’t help but wonder what her life would’ve been like had her parents survived. What would her brother’s life have been like? Would he still have felt that urge to rebel at every single thing? “You okay, honey?”

Glancing back to Bev, Megan nodded, swallowing the lump of emotions threatening to clog her throat. “I’ve been better,” Megan answered honestly. “But I came to check on you, not discuss me.”

Bev waved a hand. “Oh, please. Everyone has checked on me. I’m fine. What’s got you so worried?”

There was no way Megan would get into all the issues that swirled around in her mind. Whatever she and Cameron had going on—or not going on—would remain between them. She had no label for it, had no way of knowing where the next step would take them.

Bev knew enough about Evan, though, that Megan found herself opening up about him. She explained what happened the night before, stopping at the point where Cameron ended up staying the night. Megan had been around this family for so long, Bev had seen Evan’s downfall, witnessed Megan’s frustration.

“As a woman who raised three hellions, let me tell you that you can only do so much.” Bev shifted in her chair until she could reach out and take Megan’s hand in hers. “You guide them the best way you can, but in the end they have to make their own decisions.”

These were all facts Megan knew, but she still ached for a peace she may never find with her only living relative.

“Those were your kids. It’s a bit different with Evan because he’s always quick to throw in my face how I’m not his mother.” Megan smiled and shrugged. “Besides, your boys all turned out perfect.”

Bev’s laughter filled the cozy living room. “Oh, honey. They’re far from perfect. I had a full head of gray hair by the time I was thirty-five. I swore I wouldn’t make it through their teen years without getting a call from the cops about one or all three. They seemed to travel in a pack.”

Megan couldn’t help but laugh herself. “Yeah, they got me drunk during my senior prom.”

“Oh, mercy,” Bev whispered, shaking her head. “I think I’m better off not knowing some of the things they did. I cringe just thinking of the stuff I know about.”

Megan took comfort in Bev’s gentle hand. So many times she’d wanted motherly advice and she’d always known she could turn to Bev at any time. Unfortunately, with the Cameron situation, Megan wasn’t about to seek support. She’d have to figure out that one all on her own.

“Evan wouldn’t keep in contact with you if he didn’t love you,” Bev went on. “He may take some time, but you’re the only stable person in his life. He’ll come back to you.”

Megan squeezed Bev’s hand. “I hope so.”

Because even though she didn’t have concrete evidence of his extracurricular activities, she wasn’t stupid. If he didn’t change his ways, the end result would be either jail or death. Megan didn’t know if she had the strength to get through either of those.

* * *

Cameron kept his voice low, his back to the brick building, so he could keep an eye on the open end of the alley. He’d found out Evan was in the shady part of a neighboring town, just outside Cameron’s jurisdiction.

After throwing on a ball cap and sunglasses, Cameron had gone into the pool hall and firmly told Evan to meet him out back.

Now the coward had the nerve to look worried.

“Maybe you should’ve been a little more concerned last night for your sister.” It took every ounce of Cameron’s self-control to keep him from pummeling Megan’s brother. “Do you have any idea how scared she was? You may run with these guys, but she doesn’t, and she has a heart of gold. You realize that afterward she was more worried about you than what could’ve happened to her?”

Evan glanced away, but Cameron wasn’t having it. Cameron smacked his cheek. “Look at me. Megan said one of your so-called friends had a gun on her. Do you want to see your sister wrapped up in this mess you’re in? Do you want to see her hurt or worse?”

Something flared in Evan’s eyes. Anger, hatred, who knew what, but at least there was some sign that he actually cared about Megan.

“You have no idea what’s going on in my life,” Evan spat.

Cameron didn’t react, didn’t say a word. No sense in giving away that he in fact knew nearly everything that was going on. Knew so much that warrants were about to be processed for the arrest of two major players in the drug-running ring and for Evan, though Evan’s charges weren’t as harsh. Still, Cameron wanted the charges to stick. He wanted Evan to hit rock bottom so he’d get the help he needed and maybe eventually be the brother Megan deserved.

Disgusted that he was getting nowhere, Cameron started to turn away. “Keep her safe.” Evan’s low, pleading words froze Cameron in his tracks.

Glancing over his shoulder, Cameron met Evan’s eyes and for the first time he actually saw a man who showed genuine concern and fear for someone other than himself. “She doesn’t have anybody else,” Evan stated, still holding Cameron’s gaze.

Cameron nodded. “Whose fault is that?”

When Evan continued to stare, as if waiting for affirmation, Cameron replied, “I won’t let anything happen to her.”

As he walked away and headed back toward his truck, he wondered if he’d just lied. Could he honestly keep Megan from getting hurt? Oh, he could prevent her from physical harm, but what about her heart?

The mental scars from this entire scenario would live with her forever. She’d blame herself; she’d question every decision she ever made where her brother was concerned. And she’d hate Cameron.

He slid behind the wheel and brought the engine to life. The clock on his dash showed only thirty minutes until she was due at his house. Knowing Megan, she’d keep him waiting out of spite—which was fine. He needed the extra time to calm down from seeing Evan, from realizing that so much was about to come to a head. All Cameron could do was sit back and proceed with his job...just like always.

Chapter Fourteen

S
o what if it was nearly two o’clock? Megan wished she could chalk up her tardiness to stubbornness or even the fact she’d been visiting with Bev and Mac. In reality, she’d stuck around with Bev out of nerves.

What would she and Cameron discuss? How did they jump from best friends to the most intimate experience of her life to her waking up alone? Did he really think they would just pal up, watch a movie, grill a steak and hang like they always did on their days off?

Only one way to find out.

Megan mounted the steps and raised her hand to knock. She’d never knocked before. Letting out a sigh, she opened the screen door and twisted the knob on the old oak door. She wouldn’t put it past Cameron to lock it since she was late, but the knob turned beneath her palm.

She stepped over the threshold, nerves swirling in her stomach as the familiar scent of Cameron’s masculine aroma surrounded her. She’d inhaled that woodsy scent when her face had been pressed into his neck as he’d lowered her into her bed. Never again could she breathe in Cameron’s signature scent and not instantly be taken to the time when he’d fulfilled her every desire, her every wish.

Closing the door at her back, Megan sat her purse and keys on the built-in bookshelf to the left of the doorway. The same place she always sat her things when she came in, as if this were her home, too.

Silly thought, really. They’d slept together, not exchanged rings or vows.

A part of Megan wouldn’t mind doing just that, but she wouldn’t beg any man to love her. Either Cameron would want the same things she did or he wouldn’t. No matter how this next phase played out, Megan was a big girl and she’d survive.

But even knowing they’d taken another step deeper into their relationship, Megan still didn’t know what to do about the job in Memphis. Being with Cameron was more important than any position she could ever have. She’d give up her dream job in order to have a life with him, but was that something she could convince him of?

She didn’t want to have to convince him, though. Megan wanted Cam to come to the realization they belonged together.

And if he didn’t, Megan knew she’d have to make the move because she couldn’t live here, see him every day and act as if her heart wasn’t shattered.

Heavy footsteps sounded from overhead. Megan glanced toward the stairs just as Cameron came down the first set, then stopped on the landing. His piercing blue eyes held hers as she remained by the door.

“Contemplating whether to stay or go?” he asked.

Shoving her hands in the pockets of her favorite pair of faded jeans, Megan tipped her head. “I don’t run away.”

Cameron rested his hand on the newel post as he continued to stare down at her. What was he thinking? And why did he look even sexier today now that they’d been intimate?

Keeping his eyes on hers, Cameron slid his hand down the banister as he descended the steps. Megan didn’t move, didn’t glance away even though her heart was pounding so hard. Cameron came to stand directly in front of her. The way he towered over her had Megan tipping her head back to hold his gaze. Nowhere did he touch her, yet his demanding presence commanded her body to react.

Cameron leaned forward, his lips by her ear. “Don’t call me a coward again,” he growled.

Pleased he was just as affected by their predicament as she was, Megan forced herself to remain still, to not reach for him and cling as she desperately wanted to. And that was the problem wrapped in the proverbial nutshell. She was desperate for this man’s touch, his passion.

When Cameron eased back, just enough for a sliver of sunlight from the windows to pass through, Megan smiled.

“Hit a nerve, did I?”

“You knew you would.”

“Maybe.”

Was he just going to stand within a breath of her and not touch her? Maybe he wasn’t as affected by their connection as she’d thought. Or perhaps he was into torturing her.

“What’s the protocol here, Cam?” she asked, unable to stand the tension for another second. Someone had to step up and start this conversation. “What happens now?”

“What do you want to happen?” he countered.

Megan pulled in a deep breath, knowing full well she walked on a tightrope. “I think I’ve made things pretty clear. It’s you who seems to be torn about what you want.”

The muscle in his jaw jumped. He gripped her wrists with one hand, tugging them over her head, causing her to lean back against the door. He trailed his other hand down her arm until she trembled, all the while keeping his eyes locked on hers. She held her breath, unable to fully comprehend the power he had over her and the helpless state she was currently in.

“I’m not torn,” he corrected as he brought his palm up to cup her cheek, his thumb stroking her lips. “I know exactly what I want.”

That low, sultry tone of his made her body hum with anticipation. Or maybe she was still shaking from the simple touch of his fingertips. Perhaps every single thing about the man made her tingle now that she had let her guard down.

His eyes held hers. “What I want and what is possible are two different things.”

It took a moment for the words to register. Megan made to pull his hands away, shaking her head. “That makes no sense,” she all but shouted. “You’re an adult. You pretty much decide what you want. Do you not want me? I can handle it if that’s the case.”

Okay, she might not handle it very well, but she would move on. She wasn’t playing around anymore.

“I’d say after last night it’s obvious I want you.”

“Nothing is obvious,” she hissed, hating how she still was held captive by him. “I have no clue what’s going on with you, Cam. What are you fighting against?”

Cameron opened his mouth as if to say something, but then he shut it. Glancing toward the ground, he muttered a curse as he rubbed the back of his neck and released his hold on her.

He was battling some inner turmoil. Whatever it was, he wasn’t opening up about it. The fact he was keeping something that obviously involved her locked inside had Megan hurting in a way she hadn’t known possible.

“You know what, forget it.” She sighed, throwing her hands in the air. “We’ll go back to being friends. We’ll chalk last night up to a—”

His eyes narrowed in on her. “Don’t say mistake.”

“An amazing experience,” she finished slowly. “I won’t call it a mistake. What we shared can’t be labeled as a mistake. But it won’t happen again.”

When he merely nodded, a portion of the hope she’d been clinging to died. He offered nothing but that simple gesture of agreement, as if his entire life hadn’t changed after the intimacy they’d shared.

Seeing as how he was not much into conversation today, Megan turned toward the built-in and grabbed her keys and purse. In an instant, Cameron’s hands covered hers, his body was plastered to her back, his arms stretched out with hers.

“Don’t go,” he whispered in her ear.

Closing her eyes, Megan dropped her head between her shoulders. “Why did you tell me to come?”

“I wanted to see you.” He nuzzled his way through her hair, his lips barely brushing against the side of her neck. “I had no clue what I’d do once you got here. I told myself to keep the friendship above my desire for you. But I can’t.”

His fingers laced through hers as he placed openmouthed kisses over the side of her neck and down onto her shoulder. Megan didn’t want to respond, wanted to make him work for it, but her head tipped to the side before she could even think.

“I don’t know what the hell to do here, Meg.”

So much tension radiated from him. She wanted to turn, to hold him and comfort him. Whatever war he waged with himself was something he felt he needed to face alone.

“I’ve fought this for so long,” he went on as his lips continued to travel over her heated skin. “I never wanted to cross this line with you because I knew once I had you, it wouldn’t be nearly enough.”

Well, that certainly sounded promising.

“Then why do you sound so upset?” she asked, trying to focus on his unspoken problem and not the way he was setting her body on fire with each simple touch of those talented lips.

“I’ve always said I won’t get involved.” His fingers tightened around hers, balling their joined hands into fists. “I’m married to this job. The stress, the worry, I wouldn’t put that on anybody, least of all you.”

Everything always came down his job. She loved how noble he was, but, damn it, he was a man, too. A man with needs, desires. And he was ready to shove it all aside for the sake of his badge?

“I don’t mind,” she answered honestly. “Maybe you wouldn’t feel so stressed if you had someone to share the burden with.”

“I can’t,” he muttered, resting his forehead on her shoulder. “You don’t understand.”

She started to turn, but he held her away. “Damn it, let me look at you,” she cried.

Finally he eased back, releasing her hands. When Megan fully turned to face him, angst and torment stared back at her. She’d never thought she’d see a day when Cameron St. John seemed anything but strong and resilient.

They needed to get off this emotional roller coaster. They needed to return to familiar territory where they weren’t so wrapped up in what the next step should be. If that step happened to be in opposite directions, then so be it. But they couldn’t lose sight of what was important.

Megan slid a fingertip along the worry lines between Cameron’s indrawn brows. “We need a break.
You
need a break.” Smiling, she dropped her hand. “I have the perfect idea. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be back in thirty minutes to pick you up.”

His eyes narrowed. “What do you have in mind?”

“Oh, please.” She laughed. “After the shenanigans you and your brothers got into, you’re afraid of me?”

His gaze darted to her lips, then back up. “More than you know,” he whispered.

How could her body continually respond to his words, his tone and those heated looks? How much did she have to endure before she was put out of her misery and he either moved forward or stepped away? In all honesty, she was done playing. So she was going after all she wanted...and she wanted him.

“I’ll be back,” she told him. “Just be ready.”

“I’m not sure that’s possible,” he said.

So Cameron didn’t miss the meaning in her final warning.
Good.