From Burning Ashes (Collector Series #4) (23 page)

“What if it were me?”

He panted, but I quickly realized it was with
strong emotion, not breathlessness. “It had been once.”

I forgot he had gone through something like
this when I jumped from Peru to Seattle, except he had no idea
where I went and if I would ever come back. There were many hints
that he’d gone a little nuts trying to find me.

Still, Ryker let me go.

As I led us down another alley, I heard a van
door open, cutting through the quiet night. My head popped up.

Across the street, through the darkness and
deep in a covered parking lot, I saw the strong but slender figure
of Croygen lit with a bright fae aura. My new senses saw and heard
way past any normal human senses. Hugo, Marv, Matt, and Peter stood
around him, their human auras almost nonexistent next to Croygen’s
fae one. The Collectors held their weapons on him as he lifted his
leg to crawl into the van.

“Stop!” I screamed. “Croygen!”

All heads shot toward me.

Arms wrapped around me, a hand over my mouth,
Ryker darted us back into a doorway. “Fuck, Zoey,” he whispered
hoarsely. “They will shoot you before you can even get close. I
lost you once tonight. I will not lose you again.”

Yelling came from the garage, feet sounding
off concrete.

Ryker swore under his breath, peeking out.
Matt and Marv shoved Croygen in. The other two trained military men
headed directly for us. A bullet struck the corner of the
building.

“Run, you assholes!” Croygen yelled at us,
his head poking back out of the van.

Ryker didn’t hesitate. He grabbed my arm,
tugging me out of the doorway and around the corner. More bullets
whizzed by us, one nicking my ear. I yelped as warm blood oozed
down my neck. Another clipped Ryker’s calf.

Shit. I really hoped they weren’t fae
bullets.

I trucked after Ryker, the men behind us
nearing. Ryker steered me into a construction site, outlines of
structures rising up to the sky. My heart thumped, the stone
sparking underfoot. The hit it gave me pushed my short legs par
with Ryker.

“Zoey. Stop!” Peter’s voice rang out,
vibrating off the steel. Ryker tugged me behind a pile of structure
beams, keeping us low as he darted farther into the building.

“Fighting us is only going to hurt your
sister,” Hugo yelled. “You really want her to take the punishment
for your wrongs?”

Ryker gripped my hand tighter, yanking me
closer to him. He slipped us around equipment and material. We
darted in the next room.

“Shit.” I bounced on my feet. The room was
walled off. No exits.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

Hugo’s and Peter’s footsteps grew near. My
heart slammed against my chest in panic. What the hell were we
going to do? We had no weapons. They did.

Frantically, I searched the room. Against the
far wall piles of tubes for air ducts lay deep in the shadows. My
feet were moving before I could think. Ryker trailed behind me as I
ran for them.

“They’ll look here,” he exclaimed.

“We don’t have a choice.” I waved around at
the blocked room. “They are not seers. They won’t see our
auras.”

He pressed his mouth together then nodded and
went for the ducts. Grabbing me, he picked me up, my legs wrapping
around him as he slid us both into the pipe, settling us far into
the darkness.

It was only a moment before I heard Hugo and
Peter enter the room. “Did they come this way?”

“Shit. We can’t lose them.” Footsteps neared
us. “Look in those. They couldn’t have gone far.”

I could feel Ryker’s heart pounding against
mine, his breath heavy in my ear. I shut my eyes.
You don’t see
anything. You don’t see anything,
I chanted in my head.
Please, glamour, work tonight.

“I can’t see anything.” Peter let out a
string of swear words.

“We know they are close. We’ll do a sweep of
this area tomorrow,” Hugo said. “We better get back to the van. I
don’t trust that fucking fae. The girl I can see; she’s needs
Rapava. She’s good as dead, but why would he turn himself in?”

“Good question.”

“Let’s go.” Hugo’s boots shuffled over the
floor.

“Hold on a moment.”

I heard the sound of a gun clicking.

Oh. Fuck.

Shrill wails of shots rang out, reverberating
over the huge space, shredding through the huge plastic pipes we
were in. Holes tore through the tubing like connect the dots. Ryker
wrapped me tighter against him, but he couldn’t cover me
completely.

Piercing pain shot through my hip, my body
jerked, my mouth opened to scream. Ryker’s hand slammed over my
lips, covering the wail of agony my body wanted to express. The
bangs of the gun covered up my muffled cry. The gun clicked
again.

“Feel better?” Hugo chuckled.

“Yeah. You know. Just in case.”

“Rapava wants her alive.”

“She’s his weakness. She’s better off dead. I
should have killed her a long time ago.”

“Yeah. Well, next time we won’t make that
mistake,” Hugo replied. “Let’s go.”

Boots resounded over the floor, then
disappeared. Ryker held me close, my breathing labored, his hand
still over my mouth, the other brushing the back of my head softly.
Liquid leaked from my eyes as I bit down against the pain. Another
five minutes passed before Ryker pulled me out of the duct, a trail
of blood following me. He sat me on the tube, tugging down my pants
to check my wound. His finger was frantic as he tried to find the
bullet.

“I don’t feel sick. I think it’s a human
bullet.” I flinched against his touch. My ear was already healing,
and I didn’t feel any goblin metal effects from that either.

“I think so too. It was also a clean shot.
Went all the way through.” He let out an exhale, his shoulders
drooping. “You’ve already stopped bleeding. It will be sore, but
you’ll be fine.”

Fine? I was far from fine.

The realization Lexie and Croygen were truly
gone slammed into me. I leaned forward, my head knocking into
Ryker’s chest. Ryker brought me into him, holding me till my sobs
went quiet.

I welcomed Ryker’s silence. He didn’t give me
platitudes or try to take away my pain. He shared it with me and
held me tighter as I clung to his chest.

Even if it didn’t help or change anything, I
still needed it. I needed him.

The mood stayed bitter and defeated when we
reached the garage. Amara jumped up the moment we walked in. Ryker
held up his hand, telling her not to speak. It was for her own
safety. My temper was on the cusp, and she would push me over. I
staggered over to Sprig, who still snored on top of the table,
gathered him in my hands and moved to the bench seat. I lay down
with him on my good hip. He eased some of the pain storming inside,
like a security blanket. When I felt his heart flutter against my
chest, I let my eyes close.

Laying there, the night’s drama flooded me.
Losing Lexie and Croygen, my earlier death, and the demise of my
human self finally soaked in. A hole drilled into my chest, forcing
tears to my eyes. The urge to call for the stone traveled over me.
Desperation for its power to get my sister or just to feel the
numbness of its magic was hard to ignore. Now that I was fae, would
my strength against it be stronger or weaker? I was scared to find
out.

An acute headache filled my forehead as my
muscles twitched. Rolling into a tight ball, trying to combat the
fervent craving, I shut down.

Sleep came quickly, but it didn’t keep me. I
skimmed the line between slumber and wakefulness. My mind tormented
me with the memory of the fire when I thought I lost Lexie the
first time. I saw her and Croygen being tortured. Rapava asking
over and over where I was hiding. Lexie screaming. Needing me.
Zoey, help me!
Lexie’s voice called, then her face morphed
into Annabeth’s. I whimpered, then gasped, my eyes shooting
open.

A hand came down and pressed on my thigh,
immediately calming me. I twisted over looking at Ryker, who sat on
the windowsill above me. Somehow while I slept he dragged the bench
closer to the window so he could watch over me and the street. His
hand drifted down to where I had been shot, the wound closed up but
still a little tender. His thumb rubbed soothingly over the injury,
like he was trying to make it disappear under his soft touch. I
covered his hand with mine. Telling him without words I was fine.
Being all fae, my healing time had doubled. I couldn’t say it
wasn’t awesome.

Sprig curled into me, and I shifted him
higher on the hoodie I used for a pillow, careful not to wake him.
Ryker looped an arm around my waist, helping me stand.

“You really should try and sleep as much as
you can,” he muttered quietly. “Your body needs to heal. It’s been
through a lot tonight.”

“I can’t.”

Rhythmic breathing from Sprig drifted up. I
glanced over my shoulder to see Amara curled into a blanket in the
back of the truck. She appeared to be asleep, but there existed a
good chance she was awake, listening.

I recalled the tears brimming in her eyes
earlier when she walked in on Ryker and me. Surprising as it was, I
didn’t really enjoy hurting her, but I would not hold back with
Ryker either. There remained no pretense anymore. No more staying
away from each other because of a stupid oath or for Amara’s
sake.

“My mind will not let me sleep.” I scoured my
eyebrow. “My sister, Annabeth, Croygen…. you.”

“None of this was your fault.”

“You know that never stops the guilt.” I
licked my lips nervously, staring into his eyes, then down his
torso. “Guilt consumes you even if you know there was no
choice.”

Ryker’s head shook. “Don’t…”

“I have to.” I shifted my feet, his arms
still holding me steady. “We’ve never talked about it. What I did
to you. What I had been capable of doing. How can you ever forgive
me?”

“You did what you had to.” He brushed a
strand of lose hair behind my ear. “Like you said, we are
survivors. We do what we need to live and protect our loved
ones.”

“I didn’t protect you.”

His gaze snapped to mine, taking in my
meaning. He twisted, letting his legs drop over the sill and
tugging me between them. “I could handle it. Lexie was your first
priority. She should always be.” His rough hands skimmed up my
thighs, lighting every nerve ending. The friction through my jeans
sent a thousand tiny electric shocks through me. “If it makes you
feel better, I would have done the same.”

My eyebrow curved up in a taunting
really
?

“Because you could have handled it. You are
strong. Amazingly so... inside and out.”

I didn’t feel strong.

“They’re gone.” The thought stabbed at my
heart just as cruelly. I still did not want to believe it. I
twisted and slid down the wall to the floor next to the bench.
Sprig snored louder. “Why would Croygen let her go? Why would he go
with her?”

Ryker slipped off the sill and sat down next
to me, his arm brushing my shoulder.

“I would have gotten the medication for her.
She didn’t have to give herself up.”

“She’s really sick, Zoey. She had to go back.
You understand that deep down.” Ryker leaned his bent leg against
mine. “She’s as stubborn as you. There would have been no way to
stop her. Croygen understood as well as me that with you sisters,
if you can’t stop them, you join them.”

I wanted to punch Croygen, but I also wanted
to hug him. “I can’t believe he did that. Croygen knowingly went
back to DMG to be tortured and experimented on because he wouldn’t
allow Lexie to go back by herself.”

“I’m as stunned as you. I have known him for
centuries and have never seen him do anything so self-sacrificing
for anyone. With Amara he always did it in hopes she would love
him, or for the fame. This is completely against his personality.”
Ryker rubbed his thumb over my knee. “Well, that was until you. He
didn’t have to follow you either. But he did.” Ryker’s voice
tightened at the end.

“Do I detect a note of jealousy?” A small
smile inched my mouth.

“Should I be?”

I threaded my fingers through his. “No.”

We stayed silent for a moment.

“He’s lost his freedom and risks death just
to protect her. How does someone ever repay that?” I leaned into
Ryker’s shoulder.

“You don’t. It was his choice.” Ryker leaned
his head back against the wall. “But dammit. He’s making me respect
the fucker. I don’t like that feeling.”

I laughed bitterly, dropped his fingers, and
pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. “I’m supposed to be the
one who protects her.”

Ryker pulled me into him.

“It’s my job to keep her safe.” I burrowed
into his chest. “I have failed both Annabeth and Lexie.”

“We will get them.” He kissed the top of my
head. His arms felt like the warmest blanket. The love I felt for
this man frightened me, but there was no way I wouldn’t leap
straight in. It was too late for me to be saved. I wanted to drown
in him. Whatever pain would come, I would be willing to take on. He
was worth everything to me.