From Gods (27 page)

Chapter 35

After Noah dropped her off, Skylar was emotionally and physically exhausted, and decided to skip her classes. Later that evening, she drove home to see her mom, knowing it was safe to see her again. Staying very aware of her surroundings, she kept one eye looking over her shoulder, just like Mason had taught her. Though she couldn’t tell her mom the details of what she had been through, she just needed to be in her presence for comfort.

“Welcome home, honey,” Skylar’s mom said, giving her a tight hug and a kiss.

“Hi, Mom.” Skylar walked in and placed her overnight bag on the floor. Her plan was to spend one night and then go back to her dorm. She wanted to escape her roommate, who would most likely ask her tons of questions about Mason. But she didn’t want to put her mom in danger, so one night would have to be enough.

“From the look on your face, I’m guessing you studied late last night?”

Skylar looked confused, unsure of the question she’d asked. Thinking it was the perfect explanation, Skylar agreed. “Yup. We have exams this week.” Guilt consumed Skylar like it always did when she lied to her mom, but she had no choice.

“Wash your hands and come to dinner. We have things to talk about.”

“Okay.” Skylar wondered what her mom had in mind as she entered the restroom. She pumped soap and ran her hands under the water. Thoughts of Mason washing her hands at the cabin rushed through her mind; the way his soft gaze compelled her, his sweet, caring tone, the way his touch drove her crazy. Missing him, her heart pained, and that was a reminder she needed to forget him. He hadn’t even called or texted her to see if she had gotten home okay.

Looking at the mirror, she could see how swollen her face looked from all the tear shedding. She had poured all her fears, frustration, anger, and hurt, through her tears. No wonder her mom looked at her strangely and asked her that question out of the blue. “Oh God.” She didn’t realize how terrible she looked. She splashed some water on her face, hoping that would help somewhat, and walked out.

“Smells great, Mom.” Skylar helped her mom set the plates on the dining table and sat across from her. “My favorite,” she smiled. Skylar’s mom had homemade dinner ready for her upon her arrival—pot roast, mashed potatoes, and broccoli. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Anytime, honey. Whenever you feel like a home cooked meal, just come home. So, how was your exam?” Gina asked, and took a bite of the beef that was stabbed on her fork.

“Fine. Being an undeclared major has its benefits…I guess. I get to take various classes, but we have many…quizzes,” Skylar replied, emphasizing the word “quiz” as she intently gazed at the mashed potatoes and patted them with her spoon.

“Hmm…I see. So…boy problems?”

“Yes….” Skylar quickly looked up at her mother. “What? No…I mean…no. What makes you think I have boy problems? I’m not even dating anyone.” Skylar’s face flushed with warmth.

“I see.” Gina lit a huge smile. “Been there…done that…I just recognized some signs. We don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready. But keep in mind…love isn’t forced. Love is beautiful when it’s mutual. Love is compromising, giving and taking. Sometimes it can be a lot of work, but you shouldn’t have to try so hard. It takes two to make it right…there is no secret potion or remedy. It just takes two willing people committing to communicate, taking the good with the bad. Set him free, and if it was meant to be—”

“He’ll run back to me,” Skylar finished. She’d always shared her problems with her mom, but this one was difficult to talk about. Where would she start, and how would she explain? She just wanted to forget about Mason and move on. And the adage should be more like “don’t set him free, he won’t come running back to me,” because that was exactly how she was feeling.

“Yes,” Mom agreed, smiling.

“Is that what happened with Dad?” Though the topic of Dad was off limits, she needed to know. After what she’d been through and what she’d discovered with the Grand brothers, she had to get every bit of information possible, even if it meant Mom would shut the subject again.

“Why would you say that? You and I are trying to move forward, not backward. And no, that is not what happened,” she said calmly, but Skylar could see the anger and sadness in her eyes.

Not wanting to upset her mom, she stopped pursuing her questions and changed the subject instead. “So, what did you want to tell me?”

“Oh, yes. I’m thinking of selling our house.”

“Why?” Skylar’s tone was loud. She suddenly felt like a little girl, upset with her mom for not allowing her to have her way.

“Honey, I need you to understand. When Steven and I get married, I’ll be moving into his home. You kind of figured that, didn’t you?”

“Yes…no…I don’t know…I guess.” Though she had no right to be upset, she was. She felt like everything was being taken from her…her dad, Mason, her mom, and now the stupid house. But she had to stop thinking about herself. Her mom had sacrificed a lot for her. She’d vowed never to remarry until Skylar was old enough to be on her own.

Gina placed her fork down on the table, crossed her arms, and leaned forward. “Now that you’re off to college and you’re hardly home, I think it’s time to sell the house. It’s a seller’s market right now, and the return would be profitable. I would like to save a chunk of that for your grad school, or…some day when you get married.”

There was nothing Skylar could say. Though she wished she could rebut her decision, she gave her mom the biggest approval smile she could conjure up. Skylar was old enough to live on her own, which she was doing right now. But her home, her room, was her sanctuary: The room that held her memories, where she kept her secrets and wished upon the stars looking out the window, the room where her dad had kissed her goodnight and tucked her into bed. It was the only house she’d known and loved since she was born.

“Oh, before I forget. I would like for you to be my maid of honor. Steven and I agreed we would have a small wedding. We’re inviting our immediate family only. If you feel uncomfortable, I’ll understand.”

“I would love to, Mom,” Skylar mumbled with a mouth full of broccoli. Seeing her mom’s eyes sparkle when she spoke of Steven confirmed she had moved on. At that moment, she knew that in order to heal like her mom, she had to let her dad go…perhaps Mason too, but maybe not just yet.

Gina smiled, looking relieved. “Thank you for understanding. I told Steven it was going to be daughter and mother night, so he won’t be stopping by. You know he really cares for you like his own daughter. He just isn’t good at showing it since he doesn’t have children of his own. So…what would you like to do? The same as usual—watch a movie and eat popcorn—or go out and have a wild night out?”

“Mom….” Skylar cringed at her talking like that, “having a wild night.” It was the same feeling as when they’d had the talk about sex. “Oh, before I forget…thank you for making me take self-defense classes.”

“Did something happen to you?”  Gina’s eyes grew wide and a worried expression settled on her face.

“No, no, no,” Skylar rapidly shook her head, trying to calm her down. “Nothing happened.”

Gina exhaled softly. “Okay…good. You know that you can come to me for anything, don’t you?”

“Yes. I just wanted to thank you, that’s all. So…how about that movie and popcorn?”

“Movie and popcorn it is. Now…eat your dinner before it gets too cold.”

After dinner, Skylar helped with the dishes, then excused herself to go to her bedroom to talk with Kayla on the phone.

“Hey, Kayla. What have you been up to?”

“The same old things…work and school. So…have you seen Mason lately?”

The sound of his name was like a stab to her heart. “No. I’m pretty sure we’re done. He hasn’t called.” Then she realized it had only been a day. Why did it feel like it was a week? “So…how are things with Nick?”

“Good. I mean…we’re now dating officially.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you. He better be good to you, or else you know he’ll hear it from me.” Skylar tried to sound cheerful. “I’m going to make this short. I’m at my house with Mom. We’re supposed to watch a movie, so I’d better go. I just wanted to hear your voice and see how you were doing.”

“I’m glad you called. You know you can call me anytime…right? Even if you need to talk in the middle of the night. Remember what you used to tell me—there are other fishes in the sea. The sea is massive, with lots of good fishes.”

“Yeah…but most of them are fishy,” sighed Skylar.

Kayla busted out laughing. “You’ve never said that before.”

“That’s because I know better now. They are slimy and…and they stink.”

“Hmmm…sounds like you’re describing someone I know. I mean…I don’t think he’s that, but…sometimes those fishes just need a little bit more time in the water before they can get caught. And this particular fish I’m talking about seems like the type that when he swims, he swims deep. I think he is just being careful. He doesn’t want to get eaten by a shark…not that you are one. Just remember that, okay?”

“Don’t worry…I’ll be fine. I’ve been through a lot worse. Anyway, Mom says we’ll be at your house for Thanksgiving this year.”

“Yeah,” Kayla squealed. “Jack bakes the most delicious, perfect turkey. Speaking of which, Jack and Mona send their love.”

“Tell them I miss them, too. They’re so funny together.” Skylar chuckled just at the thought of them. “Well…I’ll text you when I get a chance. Miss you.”

“Miss you too.”

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Skylar said with hesitation, missing her cousin. Closing her eyes tightly, she exhaled a deep breath, as if to release the tension.

“You okay, Skylar? You want to talk more?”

“No…I’m fine. I need to go. I don’t want to keep my mom waiting. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Okay. I’m here if you need me.”

“Okay. I’m hanging up.”

“Bye.”

Click.

Chapter 36

Skylar spent the rest of the week attending classes and trying to drown herself in her studies. With midterm exams coming up it wasn’t hard to do, but once in a while thoughts of Mason would pop into her mind. How she missed him…but she had to be strong. She almost wished the vultures were after her, just so she could be with him. At least his protection was better than not seeing him at all…she guessed…but that was a crazy, desperate thought.
Oh...forget it! Forget him!
But she didn’t want to.

With the turn of the key, she entered her dorm apartment. Emily was sitting at the dining table with her boyfriend eating lunch. “Hey, Skylar,” Emily greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” Dex grinned.

“Hi,” Skylar replied, placing her key back into her backpack.

“Would you like a sandwich?  I have extra,” Emily asked, pointing to the kitchen.

Skylar smiled. “Thanks, but I’m not hungry. I’m going to take a nap.” She headed upstairs.

“Oh…by the way, that guy came by to see you yesterday. You know that guy…what’s his name?”

Skylar froze in place. Her heart stopped for a second, and then thumped faster than she could catch her breath. Heat shot up from her heart to her face. It was like reopening a wound she’d been trying to heal. “Did he leave a name?”
Wrong question.
“I meant…what color hair?”

“Oh…the dirty blond, I think. Dex was here.” She turned to him. “The dirty blond, right?”

Dex grunted, stuffing his mouth, seemingly half-listening to their conversation.

Emily continued. “Dex said he wanted to speak to you. He asked how you were doing, and looked very concerned. Were you sick or something?”

Disappointed, Skylar’s heart dropped, unable to answer. It was as if her words got caught in her throat, immobilizing her ability to speak.

“Anyway,” Emily continued. “A guy doesn’t just drop by to see how you’re doing. I think he has a thing for you.” Her tone went up a pitch. “Right, Dex?”

Dex let out a grunt again, taking another bite while nodding.

“Thanks for the message,” Skylar said, and headed to her room.

For a brief second, she was almost happy. For a brief second, she’d had hope, but that vanished quickly when Emily told her the color of the visitor’s hair. Shutting the door behind her, she dropped her backpack on the floor, took off her shoes, and plopped on top of her bed, wondering what Noah wanted. Taking out her cell, she checked her messages. After scrolling through her emails and texting her mom back, she couldn’t suppress the somber feeling. What did she expect? She just had to accept the fact he didn’t care for her as she’d hoped.

Exhausted from lack of sleep, she closed her eyes, trying to forget the world and think of absolutely nothing. Inhaling and exhaling deep breaths, her body began to unwind, drifting peacefully to the sleep she yearned to have.

Repetitive tapping sounds woke her up. When she opened her eyes, she noted it was dark. Had she been asleep that long? Not wanting to get up, she continued to lie in bed, irritated and confused as to where the sound was coming from. Feeling groggy, her body wasn’t in tune with her surroundings. Suddenly, fear struck, sharply sending the frantic energy right through her gut, bringing her fully awake, and she froze.

The first thought that came to her mind was the vultures. But if they were there, most likely they would’ve found a way to enter already.
Hearing the sound again, she realized it came from her window, but it was impossible for anyone to be knocking on it since she was on the second floor.

Tap…tap…tap! Annoyed, she opened the blind, peered down, and saw a rock hit the window. “Mason?” Anchoring the blind so it wouldn’t fall on her, she slid the window open. “Mason. What are you doing?”

“Didn’t you get my message?”

“What message?”

“I came by the other day.”

“You did?” Skylar was confused. She was sure Emily had told her it was the dirty blond, but then again, she said Dex had told her. Did he even know what he was talking about? Only two guys visited her…Mason and Noah. Possibly Dex had forgotten the color of the visitor’s hair. He must have agreed to the first thing Emily said, she guessed.

“Are you going to let me in, or do I have to talk to you out here in the rain?”

Stunned and elated by his appearance, Skylar didn’t know what to do. “Ummm…of course. I’ll be right down.” And just like that, her anger and pain vanished, and she was once again hopelessly in love. What was she going to do when he left? She was only setting herself up for more pain. She should tell him to go home instead; but it was too late, she’d already invited him in.

Walking into darkness, Skylar turned on the downstairs lights. Emily and Dex were gone, most likely out for dinner. Though she tried to steady her nerves, it was impossible. Her heart thumped erratically as she opened the door. “Hi,” she welcomed him shyly. “Come in.”

Mason entered, looking delicious and suave as always, but he had bags under his eyes and he looked tired, like he hadn’t slept for days. With stubble along his jaw line—which was actually kind of sexy—it was hard to resist the urge to run her fingers through it. Either way, with bags or stubble, he looked just as hot as she remembered him…totally not fair.

His hair was wet, but not drenched from the light rain. Pacing to the sofa, he settled himself comfortably. After crossing his legs, he placed his right arm lazily behind his head for support. Skylar wanted to sit right next to him, in his arms, but knowing better, she sat on the other sofa.

“I came to warn you, and to see how you’re doing,” Mason said. “Alena is no longer our problem, but whoever is in charge may still come after you.”

Skylar wasn’t worried about who was going to come after her at this moment. All she cared about was that Mason had come to tell her some bad news, and then he would leave. It wasn’t an “I miss you” type of visit. It was all serious business.

“Oh…I see. You could’ve texted. It would’ve saved you a trip.” Just like that, she built a defensive wall around her heart. Mason didn’t say a word, most likely thinking he should’ve done exactly that. “Thanks for the warning. I can take care of myself.” Her tone was soft and flat. It was the only thing she could say without falling apart in front of him.

“You think?” he chuckled.

Did he find this amusing? Anger rushed through her, but she didn’t know why. She had no right to be mad at him. Why? Because she fell in love and it wasn’t returned? This was her fault, not his. He was always there for her, risking his life. Thinking she should be thankful instead, her anger eased.

“Noah and Tim said I could call them if I needed their help,” Skylar said, unable to look at him in the eyes. Focusing on her thumb instead, she twirled it over her other thumb. “So…you don’t need to worry so much. I’ve already taken too much of your time. I’m sure there are other things you’d rather be doing.” Skylar stood up, heading toward the kitchen. “Let me get you something to drink.” She wasn’t sure if Mason was thirsty, but she needed to walk away. Water started to pool in her eyes, and she didn’t want him to see her this way. What was wrong with her? Why did she feel the need to cry?

“Sky,” Mason called out.

Startled from the demand of his tone, she turned. When she did, Mason was right in front of her, toe-to-toe with her. He embraced her tightly and snuggled his head to the side of her neck, then his hands cupped her face. “Sky,” he whispered, tenderly.

Tears that were already threatening to fall streamed down Skylar’s cheeks as her lips trembled. “Please, don’t say another word. You can just leave. I’ll understand. It’s my fault for caring. You’ve already warned me that you could never care for me.”

“Sky, don’t you know why I’ve come?”

Assuming the worst, she tried to prepare herself for the twisted pain in her heart that would cut deeper. Waves of hot and cold rippled across her ribs. Layer by layer, her heart was tearing from the sharp pain in every inch of her chest.

“Sky, I can’t do this anymore.”

“I know.” Her eyes continued to focus on his sweater, too afraid to look him in the eyes. Her heart was already breaking. She didn’t need more reminders by seeing the rejection in his eyes. Instead, she inhaled his after-shave scent and molded into him, thinking this would be the last time she would feel his arms around her like this. “It’s okay. You can leave.”

“I want to, but I can’t. I…I care. Do you hear me? I care too much. I’ve missed you. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat. Every waking second I think of you. Every second of my sleepless nights, you’re on my mind. And if somehow I sleep, I dream of you. You’re all that I can think of. I tried to stay away, but I can’t. I’m sorry. I had to see you. I’m sorry if I’ve ever hurt you or wronged you in any way. It was not my intention. I just…I didn’t want to feel again. Before you, my life was empty and cold, but you made me feel alive again, a feeling I thought was buried so deep from all the pain and loss that it could never resurface.”

Skylar couldn’t believe what she was hearing as her tears continued to fall. The sad tears turned into happy ones. The sweet words Mason was whispering in her ears overwhelmed her, making her weak at the knees. If it wasn’t for his hold on her she would have fallen, as he continued to make her feel like jelly with his words and his touch. Her arms that had been dangling at her sides moved up to the curve of his neck.

“Mason,” she whispered, peering up to met his eyes. “I’ve missed you too. I couldn’t sleep or eat.”

Still cupping her face, he pulled back and wiped her tears. “You missed me, too?” He sounded completely surprised.

“More than you know.”

“I’m sorry to put you through all that. I told you I was broken and that I couldn’t be fixed, but somehow you’ve crumbled down the wall I built around me, and no matter how hard I try to resist you, I can’t. I didn’t want to care for you, but I do. I knew you were trouble the moment I set my eyes on you…at least trouble for my heart.” He produced the biggest grin Skylar had ever seen on his face. “I care about you, Skylar Rome, in more ways than I ever meant to.”

“I care about you, too, Mason Grand,” she giggled, taking in the bliss that erupted throughout her.

“I don’t know what it is that I’m feeling for you, but I want it. I’ve never felt this with anyone before. I want to know what it feels like to really love someone, and to be loved back just the same. I want to know love with you, if you’ll let me.”

At this point Skylar was speechless, but she managed to nod. Blinking her eyes, she soaked in all of his words, the words she had been so sure would never pour out of his mouth.

Mason continued. “Everett and Amanda were right. I’ve been so consumed by the pain of losing my mother and the guilt over not being able to save her life, it was controlling me. I had forgotten what it felt like to really live…to care, to love, to be happy. I lived my life just passing through. I think…I was just waiting for…you,” he smiled again. “Everett, Amanda, Nick, and I need to start acting like a family. Perhaps they were already; I just got lost. I didn’t want to be a part of something that I may lose one day, but now I know I’d rather have it and risk feeling the pain than not have it at all. You helped me realize that. The past week without you has been torturous; I want you in my life, even if it kills me.”

Skylar suddenly remembered she could literally kill him, and she took several steps back. Mason seemed to understand the meaning behind her gesture and pulled her into him again. “Don’t be silly. I didn’t mean that. You know you can’t kill me with your kiss…thank goodness. If you could, I would’ve been dead by now. Not being able to kiss you…now that would really be torture.”

Happiness filled her. Mason was always reassuring her that she wasn’t poison, and he’d even proven it by giving her a kiss in his room, the kiss she’d held onto till this day.

“So…now that we’ve got that settled, how about I take you to dinner? It’s around dinnertime. Are you hungry?”
His hands held hers and guided them to the front of his chest, kissing each of her knuckles.