From Single Mum to Lady (19 page)

She marched to the door and held it open, allowing the freezing air to come into the room, and Patrick walked slowly past her, only turning at the last moment so that he was standing in front of her.

‘It hurts to be told the truth, doesn’t it, Jandy?’ he said softly, and walked away into the night. Jandy flung herself onto the sofa and cried until there were no tears left.

* * *

Patrick walked home miserably, almost revelling in the rain that lashed into him—a kind of punishment, he thought, for being so unbelievably brutal to Jandy. How could he say such lacerating words to a woman he knew now he loved?

He’d gone round that night on the pretext of asking Jandy if everything was to her satisfaction after her move because he couldn’t bear to let the situation between them go on any longer. He had been going to try and have it out with her—to ask her to tell him honestly if money was one of the things that had attracted her to him. He desperately wanted to get back to where they’d been before and could hardly credit that he’d heard her say that his money and status were what she was interested in. But when he’d seen Bob there he’d felt it was too late. She’d moved on already, and he couldn’t bear the thought of her with another man. So much for commitment, he thought bitterly, turning into the drive of Easterleigh and hunching up his jacket against the rain.

* * *

Jandy woke the next morning with a dull headache, finding it hard to find the energy to be upbeat for Abigail, who begged to be allowed to deliver the note she’d written to Livy, asking her round for tea.

‘Can we walk round to Livy’s house, Mummy, and take the invitation? They’re probably back from their holiday. Please, please, please! It’s not raining!’ Abigail looked hopefully at her mother.

‘Not at the moment, darling. I’ve got a lot of urgent things to do.’

Abigail pouted. ‘What urgent things? You’ve never got time for anything with me!’

Those words stung. As a single parent Jandy was always conscious of the fact that her time with her little girl was limited and she did her best to make up for it at the weekends, but today she felt utterly drained, unable to respond to Abigail’s entreaties.

‘Perhaps later on, pet. Let me do the ironing first.’

There was the sound of footsteps coming up the path and then the front door opened and Lydia came into the room. Jandy felt her heart lift a little. How wonderful that her sister was back—things never seemed as bad when she was around.

‘Oh, Lydia, darling—I didn’t expect you back yet!’

Jandy flung her arms round her sister, never more happy to see her. She needed her sister’s bracing fun and understanding more than ever, although she was not going to tell her about the episode with Patrick the night before. It was no good going over that horrible conversation again.

‘Ah, it’s nice to be wanted.’ Lydia laughed. ‘The flight out to Australia was cancelled when we got to Amsterdam and so I’ve got a few days off. Hallelujah!’ She turned to her little niece. ‘And how is my adorable little Abigail? By the way, I’ve got something for you!’

She delved into a bag and Abigail fluttered excitedly round her until Lydia produced a little doll wearing a flight attendant’s uniform with a bag that held changes of clothes.

‘Ooh, she’s lovely. Thank you very, very much!’ exclaimed Abigail, prancing around the room and waving the doll about. ‘She looks like you and I’m going to call her Lucy! This is something else I can show to Livy!’

Jandy groaned and caught her sister’s eye. ‘She’s still keen to see Livy. I’ve told her very possibly she might, but only possibly, later! Now, how about a cup of coffee?’

She and Lydia went into the kitchen, talking nineteen to the dozen as they always did when they got together. Abigail looked after them and sighed then, clutching the little doll, she went quietly out of the front door and down the path.

‘Look, Jandy, she can’t have gone far. You know what? I bet she’s toddled off to show Livy that doll all by herself.’

The strain of the past few frantic minutes when Jandy and Lydia had searched the house and garden for Abigail after discovering she was missing was beginning to tell. They both looked fraught.

‘It’s a possibility,’ Jandy admitted. ‘I should have taken more notice of her when she pleaded to see Livy—I was far too vague. Let’s go and see if she’s made her way to the hall. Oh, God, I hope she’s all right.’

They ran out of the garden and up the road to the gates of Easterleigh. The drive stretched a long way before them, dripping bare trees on either side, a slight bend halfway up meaning that only half the house was visible.

‘Lord, look how far away it is—a hell of a way for a little girl to go by herself,’ whispered Lydia.

‘If she sets her mind on something, she’ll do it,’ said Jandy wryly. ‘Come on, let’s run!’

When they came to the curve in the drive it divided into two with no indication as to which way led to the hall. They looked at each other in exasperation.

Then Jandy said, ‘Good job there’s two of us. You go that way, I’ll go this!’

* * *

The dogs were making an almighty row, thought Patrick as he strode through the woodland, taking stock of the trees that needed felling and the fences that had broken down by the river. They were probably after rabbits again—there were enough of them scampering all over the place. Winter had arrived. There was a crust of frost on the ground from overnight and it was cold and damp. In four weeks it would be Christmas.

A wave of depression came over him as he reflected that Livy wanted a Christmas party and the house to be decorated with a huge Christmas tree in the hall. Patrick smiled grimly to himself. He didn’t feel like celebrating at the moment. Two weeks ago he had been full of plans for Jandy and Abigail—and the sister, of course, whom he’d never met—joining them for Christmas Day and having a wonderful traditional time. How his father would love that—filling the house with laughter and children’s excitement. Now he would have to force himself to enjoy the festivities for Livy’s sake.

A sudden noise in the woods caught Patrick’s attention. He could hear a woman’s voice calling and the dogs sent up a new cacophony of barking.

‘Rusty! Lightning! Here, boys! Come here at once!’ he shouted.

A crashing through the undergrowth and they bounded in front of him obediently. He bent down to ruffle their heads and then heard the woman’s voice again, high and frightened.

‘Abigail! Abigail, darling—are you there?’

‘What the…?’

Patrick pushed his way through the bushes and small trees and nearly fell over Jandy standing in a little clearing. She looked round when she heard the sound of crunching footsteps behind her, her eyes alight with hope. Then she saw it was Patrick and her expression changed to one of despair.

He looked at her distraught face. ‘What on earth’s wrong? What are you doing here?’

‘It…it’s Abigail…’ she gasped. ‘She’s wandered off. We think she may have come to see Livy and show her a doll my sister brought her. She may have left the drive and taken a wrong turning.’ Jandy looked around wildly. ‘I don’t know where to start looking…Oh, God, if anything’s happened to her…’

Patrick put his hands on her shoulders. ‘Don’t worry. If she’s anywhere in the vicinity, we’ll find her. We’ll make our way towards the house through the woods. If we haven’t found her by then I’ll get the staff together and we’ll all search for her.’ He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face towards his. His expression was gentle, unflustered. ‘Pecker up!’ He turned to the dogs. ‘Come on, boys! Seek and find with me!’

The dogs darted in and out of the undergrowth and Patrick grabbed Jandy’s hand to steady her as they made their way along a narrow path, both of them shouting Abigail’s name then stopping to listen in case she replied. After a few minutes they heard the dogs whining and Patrick’s grip on Jandy’s hand tightened.

‘They’ve seen something,’ he said. ‘They always whine when they see something strange. We’re coming to another clearing now.’

The path opened up into a small clearing with a little summer house in the middle. Sitting on the step to the door was Abigail, playing with her doll. She looked up as she heard the two adults approach.

‘Hello!’ she said brightly. ‘I’ve found this little house to play in!’

Jandy took a deep breath and went and sat beside her. ‘Why did you go out without telling Lydia or me?’ she asked the child gently.

“Cos I knew you wouldn’t take me to see Livy for ages and ages—you’re always talking to Lydia when she comes home.’

‘Abigail,’ said Jandy in a very stern voice, ‘I want you to promise that you’ll never ever go out again without telling Mummy. I’ve been very worried about you. Lydia, Patrick and I have been searching for you—do you hear?’

Abigail nodded. ‘I’m glad you found me. I lost my way but I wasn’t frightened.’

Jandy’s eyes met Patrick’s and she got up and said quietly to him, ‘Thank you for helping me. We won’t trespass on your land any more.’

‘Perhaps it would be a good idea for you and Abigail to come to the house and she can show Livy her doll?’ He spoke diffidently, as if he didn’t really mind one way or the other, but his eyes never left her.

‘I don’t think in the circumstances…’ Jandy began stiffly.

‘Oh, please, Mummy! Just for a little minute!’ Abigail ran to her mother and put her arms round Jandy’s legs. ‘I’ll be a good girl for you!’

Jandy flicked a glance at Patrick and said resignedly, ‘Well, just for a few minutes—if that’s all right with Patrick.’

They started to make their way down the path and came to the drive again, this time much nearer the house. At the same time a figure appeared out of the woodland on the opposite side.

‘Lydia!’ called Jandy, running over to her. ‘Lydia, it’s OK! We’ve found Abigail!’

‘Oh, thank God!’ Lydia ran up to the little girl and flung her arms round her. ‘Don’t give us such a fright again, darling, will you?’

Patrick stood watching them, a slight look of puzzlement on his face, and Jandy drew Lydia towards him.

‘This is my sister, Lydia,’ she said. ‘She came up to Scotland just before you left, but you didn’t meet each other.’

He looked at the two sisters incredulously. They were incredibly alike, although he could tell there were subtle differences—Jandy waas slightly taller and slimmer than Lydia, her hair a little fairer.

‘Pleased to meet you, Lydia,’ he said at last. ‘I didn’t realise you and your sister were twins, Jandy.’ He frowned for a second. ‘So you came up to Scotland when we were there?’

‘I managed to get a flight up to Inverness when I’d come back from Australia and took a taxi straight to my mother’s house. I wanted it to be a surprise for them—they didn’t know I was coming. I was sorry to miss you.’

They started to walk towards the house, Patrick silent and thoughtful, then he stopped suddenly and said, ‘Did you arrive while Jandy was at the shops?’

‘Yes—you’d gone for a walk and she’d popped out to get some basics in before she flew home in the evening.’ Lydia looked reproachfully at him. ‘Actually, she was amazed when she returned and found you’d left. We couldn’t really understand it!’

Patrick was silent for a moment, and just then a small figure appeared in the doorway of the big house. She gave a shriek of surprise and ran up to them.

‘Abigail!’ she cried happily. ‘You’ve come to see me! Can I show her my pony, Daddy, now she’s here?’

‘You can, sweetheart—but first of all take Abigail and her auntie into the house and ask Sheena to get everyone a coffee. Jandy and I will be in soon—I just want to have a word with her.’

Lydia took the two children’s hands and walked ahead with them, pausing very briefly to give Jandy a significant wink. For an unaccountable reason Jandy’s heart began to thud uncomfortably against her ribs. What could Patrick possibly have to say to her? She had nothing to say to him whatsoever after his incredible rudeness the evening before. She was grateful for his help in finding Abigail, but that didn’t mean they could be friends again, did it?

He took her arm and drew her to the side of the house then turned her round to face him, his hands holding her arms. She could feel their warmth through her sweater, their strength as he gripped her. He looked down at her with an extraordinary expression of disbelief and sadness.

‘Jandy…’ he began haltingly. ‘I don’t know how to tell you this…how to start, and it sounds utterly incredible, but I’ve made the most terrible mistake I think I’ve ever made in my life. I don’t know if you can ever forgive me.’

Jandy looked at him scornfully. ‘What do you mean—the mistake of being rude to me with no justification whatsoever? Why should I forgive you?’

He put his finger on her mouth. ‘Give me a minute, sweetheart.’

Sweetheart? Who did he think he was kidding? After what he’d said to her, that was the last thing she was—

‘Of course I should never have said those things, but I made a terrible error when I was in Scotland. I jumped to the wrong conclusion. I thought I heard you say something to the effect that you were glad I had plenty of money and that it would be great to be called Lady Sinclair…’

Jandy gazed at him, open-mouthed. ‘That is so ridiculous,’ she said slowly. ‘How on earth could you think I would even think that, let alone say it?’

‘I don’t know,’ he said miserably. ‘I should have come into the room and questioned what I thought you said, but I was horrified and taken aback.’

A gleam of understanding began to appear in Jandy’s eyes. ‘You thought you heard me say those things—but it wasn’t me, was it?’

He shook his head. ‘It was your sister. I only saw her from the back and she was talking to your mother. Of course I hadn’t realised she’d come up—I didn’t even know you were twins. Now I know she was just joking, but when I heard her make those comments it took me back to shortly after Rachel died.’

‘Why was that?’ asked Jandy, frowning.

‘I was distraught after her death, of course, feeling terrible guilt that I had caused it.’ He looked at Jandy wryly. ‘To lose the one you love after a silly quarrel means you never forgive yourself. On the rebound I became engaged to a girl at work. I hardly knew what I was doing, but I was lonely and she was very, very persistent. I found myself getting more and more involved with her. I suppose I thought I loved her.’