From the Ashes (10 page)

“Yeah. I guess.” Jesse shrugged sadly. Maria had no idea. Tomas probably felt lonely all the time, even more so when he was around his family. They were boisterous and involved and living right next door. And they didn’t really know their son.

“But now he has you, right?” Maria smiled encouragingly.

Jesse wasn’t sure what to tell her. She seemed so sweet, and he was grateful to have an ally in the family. But Maria acted like she wanted him to be the answer to everything. All the lies and half-truths and uncomfortable issues around the dinner table. Jesse could barely take care of himself.

“We just met.” Jesse rubbed his arms. It was cold outside, and he’d left his jacket on the couch. He wanted to give Maria something, though, to let her know he was on her side. “But I like him a lot.”

Maria narrowed her eyes. “You tell me if you need anything, okay?” She stared him down, her expression almost exactly like her mother’s. “With the family, I mean. Diego is all bark, and he’s not good for Tomas.”

Jesse covered his smile with his hand. Maria was tiny, maybe five-two, but he could imagine her tearing Diego a few new orifices.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Part of him wanted to invite her inside, maybe have a cup of coffee and find out more of Tomas’s secrets, but Jesse wasn’t ready to let Tomas’s family into his life. Not even Maria. “Um, I’ve got a paper…” He clicked open the porch door and backed into the house.

“Yeah, sure.” Maria cocked her head to the side. Maybe it was Jesse’s imagination, but it seemed like she was waiting for an invite.

He wished he could give her one. He really did. But Jesse had lost his home twice now. He couldn’t risk getting kicked out again.

“You’ll come around to eat again soon, right?” She patted the dogs as they rubbed against her legs.

Jesse frowned. He had no choice. “Yeah. Not tomorrow. Me and Tomas are doing dinner on our own. But some other time.”

“Okay.”

He could tell she wasn’t satisfied with the answer, but that was going to have to suffice.

“See you later?” Jesse gave her a weak smile through the glass of the back door.

“Yeah.” Her lip quirked up on the side. “You be nice to my brother.”

Jesse nodded, because he didn’t trust himself to say anything, and shut the blinds.

The upscale pet store sold all sorts of toys and types of dog food Tomas couldn’t in a million years imagine buying. With the grainy smell and the world music pumping through the sound system, it felt like a cross between a health food store and a Starbucks.

His work boots squeaked on the polished concrete floor as he searched through the shelves of collars and leashes. Most were typical Seattle colors like mud, gray and moss, but there were some all the way to the edge that were a lot more fun.

With a yawn, he toyed with a sparkly blue one. Jesse had been right. Tomas should have gone home to sleep. But he was having too much fun to regret staying awake a couple more hours.

“This one is cute.” Jesse touched a leash that was pink with a skull-and-crossbones design. He checked the price tag and made a face.

“Hey.” Tomas shooed his hand away. “This is my treat.”

“Letting me stay at your house is your treat.” Jesse stood close enough that their arms brushed together.

Tomas put a hand between Jesse’s shoulder blades and gave him a rub. “You’re paying rent, remember?” He loved being able to touch Jesse whenever he wanted. “I want Chardonnay to have something pretty.”

Unfortunately, most of the leather, rhinestone-studded collars only came in small sizes.

“This one is nice.” Jesse held up one dotted with pink, purple and pale green.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t match the leash.” Tomas picked through the rack.

“You’re funny, you know that?” Jesse reached for Tomas’s hand and wove their fingers together.

Tomas smiled. “Why, for wanting your dog to match?”

“No. Because you want to walk down the street together in SeaTac with a dog on a pink leash.” He grabbed one that matched the collar. “Don’t you think if you’re walking around with a guy who looks like me and a dog wearing this…” he held up the pink polka-dot collar, “…that people are going to make assumptions?”

“Maybe.” Tomas fought a ripple of nerves. “But who’s gonna say something? Char’s scary as hell. And anyway, she’s a
girl
dog.”

Jesse shook his head, laughing. “You don’t need to sell me on it. I was just making sure you were cool. I won’t even be living there very long.”

“Hey.” He grabbed Jesse’s hand. Tomas might be coming off a little forceful, but he didn’t care. “Let’s not talk about you leaving for a while, okay?”

“Um, yeah. Okay.” Jesse looked away.

Tomas knew Jesse thought he was being a burden. He wished he could convince him he wasn’t. “We can use it to walk her at the big park on the East Side.” Tomas went to the register and stood behind a woman buying a cat carrier.

Meanwhile, Jesse wandered over to a chest-high pile of dog beds. He petted the cushions and checked the price tag on the largest one, his face falling into a frown.

After swiping his debit card through the machine, Tomas carried his shopping bag to where Jesse was standing. “We can get her the same bed at Target for a third of the price,” he murmured in Jesse’s ear. Tomas didn’t want to offend the people working there by planning to shop at a different store.

Jesse’s eyes sparkled with laughter. “Didn’t I say the same thing about the collar?”

“Shush.” Tomas reached past Jesse to open the door and urged Jesse out.

Shopping done, they climbed into the cab of Tomas’s truck and drove to a nearby park where they sat on a bench and ate sandwiches. Jesse perched with one leg tucked under him, shivering in his thin jacket.

“I may have an extra sweatshirt in the back of the truck. Do you want to borrow it?” Tomas shuffled so their legs were pressed together and Jesse could get some of his warmth.

“Nah.” Jesse moved closer so they were almost snuggling. “I’m good.” He ate a few more bites, pausing to drink out of his water bottle. “Hey, do you mind if I ask you about something?”

“No.” Tomas hoped he was going to ask about living together for longer, but that was unlikely.

“So—in the city, you don’t mind us…” He waved his hand, insinuating he meant how they were sitting.

Tomas wouldn’t have sat so close if they were at the table with his parents, but here in a park near the university he didn’t see the problem. “This is fine.” Jesse cocked his eyebrows like he didn’t believe it, so Tomas added, “You think because I don’t want us kissing in front of my family—”

“Hey, hey, hey, Mr. Defensive.” Jesse held up his hand. “I’m just asking where the line is.”

“Oh.” Tomas made a conscious effort to slow his breathing and hopefully his heart rate. He wanted Jesse so badly he felt it all the way to his bones, but Tomas couldn’t be the way Jesse’s friends at the coffee shop were or like some of the gay men around town. “Well…” He considered what was reasonable to ask. “I suppose you know that in front of my parents, I don’t want to kiss or hold hands.”

“Diego? Your sister?” Jesse asked.

It was a reasonable question, but Tomas still felt cornered. “No. Not around them either.”

Jesse nodded.

Tomas searched his face for some reaction or hint at what Jesse was feeling. It was clear he was thinking something because he bit the edge of his fingernail, but Tomas was scared to ask.

“How about with your firefighter buddies? I take it you don’t want them to know.” Jesse went back to chewing his sandwich. He was still pressed tight against Tomas’s side, but there was something closed off in his expression.

“I don’t hang out with too many of the guys outside work.” Tomas considered Rick and Saul and the small group of guys he sometimes grabbed a beer with. “But I’d probably play it cool around them.”

Jesse shrugged. “Yeah.”

The odd thing was Tomas wasn’t sure he cared about the guys at work. There were a bunch of gay firefighters in Seattle, and though Tomas didn’t know any of them personally, he knew he couldn’t be fired if someone found out.

“I don’t really care about guys from work.” Tomas wanted Jesse to feel comfortable, and he wanted to be what Jesse needed. At least as much as he was able.

He must have said the right thing because Jesse’s lip turned up on one corner, like half of a smile. “Well, I don’t suppose you have any big firefighter events to invite me to anyway.”

Tomas chuckled and put his arm around Jesse’s shoulder. “Not really. I mean, most years I volunteer at this Haunted Trails thing around Halloween, and there’s the Christmas toy drive.”

“Oh, you mean like an outdoor haunted house?” Jesse twisted to look at him, his eyes bright and excited. “We had one of those growing up. Scared the shit out of me every year.”

“Yeah, man.” Tomas took Jesse’s hand and rubbed it between his. He was going to have to make sure Jesse got a warmer jacket. “Every year, we have to go in and rescue terrified high school kids.”

“Sounds hilarious. Wonder if I could talk some guys from work into going.”

“You should. It’s open to the public.” Tomas took Jesse’s used sandwich bag and tossed it into the trash. They went back to the truck, and once the engine turned over, Tomas cranked the heat.

“Thanks.” Jesse climbed in, rubbing his arms.

Tomas got the shopping bag with Chardonnay’s collar and leash off the floor and put it in the back. “Y’know, it would be a shame to put those on Char if she’s still all dirty.” Tomas couldn’t believe he’d let her in his house two nights running.

“True. But if we’re going to give her a bath you need to go home and take a nap as soon as you drop me off.” With an uncharacteristically stern expression, Jesse wagged his finger.

“You’re only in class for an hour. I can hang out to pick you up.” Tomas ruined his offer by yawning.

“No. No way. I’m putting my foot down. I’m taking the Metro and that’s final.”

Tomas pulled out of the parking space and headed toward the university to drop Jesse off at class. He couldn’t hide his grin. “Fine, Mom, but wake me up when you’re home.”

Chapter Nine

Jesse stood uncertainly next to the container of warm, sudsy water. It was a large bucket, the size used to mix paint, but it looked tiny when compared to Chardonnay.

“You sure you don’t want to use the hose?” Tomas hung back a few feet. He’d agreed to let Jesse take the lead on the dog washing, though he’d laughed at Jesse running water from the bathtub into the bucket instead of just filling it with cold water from the spigot. Jesse couldn’t be mad at him. Once the bucket was full to the brim, it had been too heavy for Jesse to lift, and Tomas had carried it outside.

“Maybe to rinse her off.” Jesse squatted, gesturing to the dog. “C’mon, girl. It’ll be fun. I promise.”

Chardonnay must have known he was lying because she made a whimpering sound in the back of her throat and paced.

“See, water?” Jesse took the dishwashing glove off his hand and lifted a handful of suds, showing Char what was in the bucket. “You want to be clean, don’t you?”

With nervous paws, Chardonnay got closer, sniffing her way to Jesse’s hand.

“That’s a good girl.” He wrapped the Animal Control leash around her neck. He was trying to do this the nice way, but he wasn’t so optimistic to think she’d actually
enjoy
her bath.

From the back door of Tomas’s parents’ house, Mrs. Perez called to Tomas in Spanish. He called back, “Giving the dog a bath.” Jesse figured she’d asked what they were doing.

“
¿Por que?
” she asked.

Jesse thought she had a good point. Why were they trying to wash an untrained bull mastiff who was probably scared of water? Oh yeah—new collar.

Tomas shouted back, and out of the corner of his eye Jesse saw that Maria had joined her mother on their back porch.

“Okay, honey.” Jesse held Chardonnay’s leash with his gloved hand to cut down on potential rope burns. He dipped one of the rags at his feet into the sudsy water, then he glopped it onto her back and started scrubbing, opting for speed over gentleness.

Twisting, Char tucked her tail to get away from the soap. Jesse tripped over her in an effort to keep washing, but righted himself immediately. Ignoring the way his arm was wrenched, he sank the rag into the water for a second round of suds.

She squirmed away from him again and again, dragging him a few feet, only to stop short and make him run right into her, getting dog dirt and water all over his legs.

“Oh, man.” Tomas laughed. “You hold her, I’ll wash.” He covered Jesse’s hand with his own and took the dishtowel out of his fingers. His front was flush against Jesse’s back, and if a frightened bull mastiff wasn’t yanking off Jesse’s arm, he might have gotten horny.

“Okay.” Jesse straddled Char to step over her.

She rotated away from Tomas, which dropped Jesse flat on his back.

Blindingly cold water seeped from the ground through his sweatshirt to lick up his spine. “Motherf—reaker.” Jesse tried to get up, but Chardonnay got on top of him, licking his face.

From the porch, Maria roared with laughter.