From The Wreckage - Complete (65 page)

West blows out a breath and gives Jules a sad look. “Then your dad paid mine a visit. At this point, your parents weren’t seeing or speaking to me. They’d actually asked me not to come to the hospital at all.”

Disbelief at their behavior floors Jules. “Why did my dad go to see yours?”

“He raised serious doubt with the judgment my dad made at getting all the charges dropped against us, or me more specifically. He didn’t want me to go to juvie, but he told my father he should consider getting me help. I guess he convinced my dad I was unstable. I was a mess, filled with guilt and worry for you, and add that to what your parents thought was PTSD from the tornado, and then reminding him of my lingering depression from mom’s death… They built a strong case about my mental health. He suggested dad get me help, and whatever he said worked. The judge friend of my dad made it a court order. Six months in rehab for mental health.”

“So you left.”

“The truth is, I wanted to leave.” She frowns at his words. “I couldn’t face you at that point. The moment I almost lost you is a moment I will never forget. Remember when you told me about how seeing me with Aubrey that day at lunch had taught you how easily I could break you?” She nods, recalling the moment easily.

“After my mother’s death, I was able to walk away from everything in my life, Jules. I didn’t form attachments; I didn’t care about people or things anymore. The night of the wreck hit me like a ton of bricks. It brought back my mom’s death all over again.

“You asked me at Carson and Mindy’s engagement party why I quit football, remember?”

“Yeah. You said you had practice that day and it pissed you off, so you quit.”

“Ha, well that’s partially true. The truth is, the day she died I’d promised her I would be there for her. She was getting weaker and weaker and we knew the time was getting closer. I wanted to be by her side when she went. I’d taken to sleeping on a pallet on the floor so I wouldn’t lose her.”

“God, West,” she whispers as tears roll from her eyes and she tightens her arms around his back.

“I promised, and then I went to football practice. Football! She ended up dying without me there and I couldn’t forgive myself. I couldn’t fail someone like that again, so I decided to close everyone off.” 

His hand swipes a tear from her chin. “Everyone, until you came along in that damn little cheerleading outfit and the tornado hit.”

“I couldn’t walk away from you then, and I can’t walk away now. I’ve tried, God knows I’ve tried, to forget you and move on, but I can’t. I want to… but I can’t.”   

West pulls her into his chest, resting his cheek on her head as they hug each other tightly. He strokes her back as she grips his shirt in her fists and swallows back the flow of tears and emotion trying to push its way out of her chest.

“Why do you want to forget?” she’s able to ask after a few moments. 

“I don’t want to see you lying on that pavement covered in blood anymore.”

“Then don’t think of me that way. Think of me in your arms watching movies on your mom’s chaise in the game room, or the way we danced in the corn field on my birthday,” she suggests, pulling back and looking up into his face. “Or think of me and all the new memories we can make now.”

“You want to make some more memories?”

“I think we owe it to ourselves to try,” she offers with a small shrug. “Do you want the same thing?”

He pauses, and she takes in the way his brown eyes melt when he looks down at her and his signature sly grin overtakes his face. 

“A wise girl once told me if you want something in life you need a reason for wanting it, or else you will give up when it gets too hard. She said a person with motive and reason will work harder than someone who wants something on a whim.”

She laughs lightly, “Wow, that’s pretty smart. She must have heard it on
Law and Order
.”

West groans, bringing her to his chest and pressing his lips to the top of her head.

“I love you, Jules. That’s my reason. The moment I left Crestdale I wanted to come after you, but I let my insecurities eat at me. I promise you, I’m not walking away again, because I have a reason and a purpose for being here. I want to love you forever. I want to hold you again, and I never want to let you go.”

“That sounds like a damn good reason, Rutledge. Now kiss me,” Jules orders, leaning up on her toes and offering him her mouth.

When West cannot keep his hands from wanting to roam all over Jules’ body it’s time to stop kissing her. Pulling away from her willing mouth, he sighs and looks around them. Several cars have pulled into the parking lot and there are a few people on the tennis courts now. He noticed none of this as they stood there wrapped in each other’s arms, and lips.

“We should take a step back,” he suggests reluctantly, sliding his hands down her arms slowly until he reaches her hands. West weaves their fingers together giving them a squeeze as he looks down at Jules.

“Okay.” Jules voice is feathery light as she looks up into his face with a winsome smile and he can’t help but bend down to press another peck to her mouth.

“God, you’re so beautiful.”

Jules giggles under his lips and West steps back again. 

“Dinner,” he blurts out and she shakes her head. “We should get some, you hungry?”

“I could eat.”

“Mindy likes to mother me and feed me well. Want to come back to the house with me?” Jules’ face scrunches up and he slows down. “If you’re not comfortable going there, we don’t have to. I can take you out.”

“No, no. I just. When I saw her last week -” she rambles off.

“Jules, they don’t hold anything against you. I swear. They know nothing happened with you and Austin, and even if they didn’t, they wouldn’t judge you.”

“I just feel as if I betrayed you or something.”

“Betrayed me? What are you talking about?” She shrugs nonchalantly and West tugs on her hands. “Baby, come on.”

He steers her to his truck and waits for her to climb in before he closes her door and moves around to get in himself. Starting the engine and cranking the air on high, he turns to her and reaches for her hand.

“Let’s get past this now, okay?” She nods. “How can you possibly feel as if you betrayed me?”

“We’re talking about your brother, West.”

“Yeah. Whom you did nothing with.”

“But I could have, we could have.”

He blows out a deep breath and runs his free hand through his hair. The truth hurts, but he can’t blame her for it and he tries to come up with a way to make her feel better.

“First, I left you. Cold turkey, babe. If anyone should feel bad, it’s me. Austin is… Austin. He’s a good guy and he tried to take care of you. I can’t get mad at you for that.“

“Can we try to agree to forgive each other for what happened?” she asks, her eyes sending him a soft plea.

“I want to be with you. I will do whatever it takes for us to get past this. What do you need from me?”

“I need you to stop blaming yourself for that wreck. And for this,” she holds her scarred arm up. “I lived with the guilt of what happened to Tanya for months for no reason, so I know what I’m talking about here. We have to stop placing blame for the things that have happened and we have to move forward.”

West chuckles. “I think our shrinks might have gone to the same school.”

“You’ve heard this all before, huh?” She smiles and joins in with him laughing at the poster children for guilt they’ve both become.

“Okay, so I stop blaming myself for the wreck and you let go of any guilt you have about hanging out with my brother.”

“And, we’ll be open and honest about our feelings.” She adds that with a slight raise of her brows.

“Can I be honest now?” he asks, stretching to the side to get closer to her in his large cab. His fingers comb through her hair as he smiles at her. “I never stopped loving you, Jules Blacklin. Those letters, I wrote you every day and sometimes twice a day? I wrote those all the while pretending I was on a vacation somewhere and you were waiting at home for me. I’m going to be nothing but honest with you and everyone else from now on. I know I kinda suck at this love thing sometimes, but I’m going to keep working on it until I get it right. You are that important to me. I won’t give up again, I promise you.”

West blinks his eyes hard, the sudden emotion that swells throughout him taking him by surprise as Jules touches his cheek with tears flooding her own eyes. 

“That’s all I needed to hear,” she offers sweetly, bringing him in for another kiss.

It’s close to six when Jules and West finally arrive at the house. Carson’s and Mindy’s cars are both in the driveway and Jules clears her throat when West turns off the truck.

“Ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.” 

Jules pushes West to enter the house first, only to find it empty. They walk through the den and to the kitchen where they catch sight of Carson and Mindy sitting at the table on the back porch. Grabbing them each a water bottle, West pulls Jules to the glass doors and, with one last breath, they open the door and walk back out into the hot air.

Carson sees them immediately and his face twists in confusion as his eyes trail down West’s arm to where his hand connects with Jules’. 

“It’s about time you came home, we actually waited for you to eat,” Mindy, whose back is to the house, calls out. She twists in her chair to look over her shoulder and freezes as she spots Jules.

“I brought a guest,” West points out, squeezing Jules’ hand.

The high pitch frequency of Mindy’s squeal could bring dogs running as she jumps up excitedly and hurries forward.

“Jules! You’re here! You, with West, and you’re here! What?” She pulls Jules into a hasty hug and pushes her back. “What is this? West, why didn’t you tell us! Oh my gosh, I could stab you with a butter knife. You keeping this from us.”

The craziness of Mindy’s outburst causes Jules to laugh as she tries to respond.

“Don’t smother her,” Carson warns, standing and approaching them.

“I need details. What are you doing here?” Mindy asks, grasping Jules’ hand and pulling her past Carson and to the table. “I mean, I’m happy you are. I just, I didn’t expect it.” 

“Hey, Mind? Can we dispense with the third degree for now? Please?” West finally asks, ignoring his brother’s look and putting his hands on his future sister’s shoulders. “I know we are all excited to see Jules here, but can we give her a little time to acclimate?”

“West, it’s fine, I’m fine,” says Jules and Mindy smiles at her.

“Well, I’m starving. Can we eat first?” he asks, thinking that might spur Mindy to get up and be a good hostess to their guest.

Instead, Mindy surprises him when she pats his hand that’s still sitting on her shoulder and replies, “Sure! You two go make our plates. Jules and I will wait out here and chat.

“Well, um…” he stammers, looking at Jules and trying to communicate without words. She smiles his way, looking comfortable, so he leaves the girls be and steps into the house.

“What the hell, man?” he asks Carson who laughs as the door shuts behind them.

“You know her, she gets over-excited. I could ask the same thing, though, bro. What happened? Two days ago you were moping around the house again and now she’s here.”

“Dani happened.” He tells his brother about how Jules received the letters and how she came to him to talk. Without going into all the details, he explains how she’d been waiting for him to fight for her.

“I told you in July to go back to Tyler.”

“I know, I know. I was stupid.” He looks out the window over the sink as Carson fixes plates of spaghetti for them. Jules is sitting on the edge of her chair, but she’s talking animatedly and she looks at ease. “I’m not screwing this up again.”

“Can I give you some advice?” 

West has always looked up to three people - his dad, Carson, and Austin. They are the four musketeers, always there for each other no matter what, especially after their mother died. He doesn’t hesitate to nod his head in hopes of some sage advice.

“Date her.”

“Date her? That’s your advice?”

“Yeah. You two jumped into this serious mind-blowing relationship the last time and it ripped you both apart. Savor it this time. Woo her, date her, fall in love with her slowly.”

“I’m already in love with her, man.”

Carson shakes his head slowly. “I’m sure you think you are. West, you two are different people now than you were then. And even then you didn’t know each other.  Take it from a guy who almost lost the girl of his dreams once, too. Make her fall in love with you again. The new you.”

West vaguely recalls when Carson and Mindy split up for a few months. He remembers hearing Austin give him a good ribbing a few times, when they were together for a game, about all of the crazy things he was doing to win her back. West looks at Jules once more from the window before picking up the plates to take outside. 

Date her.
A plan forms in his head and suddenly he is more than willing to follow Carson’s advice.

  

“I still can’t believe how easy that was,” Jules remarks as West drives her back to the stadium parking lot at Freemont to get her car.

“I told you, you had nothing to worry about.”

“They were perfect. Thank you for asking me to the house.”

He pulls his truck into the spot next to her car and he flips the headlights off as he lets the truck idle. 

“That’s my home so I don’t have to ask next time, okay? Anytime you want to come over you just show up.”

It’s close to ten and she covers her mouth as a yawn escapes her lips. 

“I hate letting you drive home by yourself. You could stay here, you know. I could take the couch.”

“No way. You have a game this weekend; I can’t be blamed for you playing poorly because you ended up with a kink in your neck. You do get to play, right?”

West smiles. When she’d agreed to come to his game this Saturday, he’d decided to be vague about his spot on the team. He wanted to surprise her with how far he’s come. Mindy agreed excitedly, already relishing being able to stand in the bleachers and watch Jules’ face for her reactions.

“Yeah, I’ll get some snaps. You don’t have to come if you don’t want to,” he teases.

“Not come? Of course I’m going to be there. I can’t wait.” 

Opening the door to the truck, she gives him a sad look as she slides down. West comes around the truck and finds her leaning against her door, the frown still pinned on her face. 

“Call me when you get back to your room?”

“I still don’t have your number,” she remembers and pulls her phone out.

West takes the phone and pulls up her contacts, his heart clenching when he sees his old number next to the name ‘Spike.’ He edits the entry and hands it back, looking at her shadowed face.

“Now you do. Call me, promise?”

“I will.”

He presses a quick kiss to her lips before pulling away, thinking of Carson’s plan to take things slow, and says goodnight. Jules takes the cue and climbs into her car. As she starts her car and turns on the headlights, she takes a moment before she looks out the window at him; the blue dashboard lights cast a mellow glow on her face. She‘s pulling away and West takes another step back planning to go to his truck when she stops suddenly and her window slides down.

“Hey, West,” she calls out with a huge smile on her face and he stops walking. “I love you.”

His heart explodes as she says those three words and he walks to her car full of purpose. “Put it in park,” he orders as he approaches.

He hears the transmission sound as she shifts into park and he pulls on the door handle yanking her car open. Swooping down, he kneels at the seat and presses an urgent kiss to her lips as his hand fumbles with her seat buckle. He pulls her from the vehicle, all the while kissing her with his hands digging into her hair and pressing against the small of her back. Carson’s words, about going slow, fly out the window as his mind replays those three beautiful words.
I love you.

“I couldn’t leave without saying it,” she murmurs against his mouth when he runs his lips from hers across her cheek and down her neck.

“I’m glad you did. I love you, too, Buffy.”

It’s a good twenty minutes before he lets her go again and she drives off. West drives back to the house and sits in his truck, waiting for her to call. He’s half asleep when his phone goes off.

“I’m back in my dorm, safe and sound,” she tells him when he answers.

“Good. I know it’s barely thirty minutes, but all of a sudden it feels like you’re across the country.”

“I know it does. When do I get to see you again?”

“Saturday,” he throws it out there, wondering what she’ll think.

“Saturday? Really?” He can almost see the pretty pout she used to make to get her way with him.

“Yes, Jules. I’m asking you on a date for Saturday. I’ll be the one on the field and we can get dinner after the game?”

“What’s your number, anyway?”

“Twelve.” 

“Okay, Number Twelve. I will be the girl in the stands anxiously waiting to have dinner with you. I look forward to seeing you on the field.”

“I look forward to having my own personal cheerleader in the stands.”

“Goodnight, Spike.”

He sighs at her using her nickname for him again. “Night, cheerleader.”