Frost Fire (Tortured Elements) (21 page)

He knew he shouldn’t be holding her; instead, he should be driving far, far away from the gas station. But he’d only managed to get a few miles away before he pulled over on a side-road.

The girl looked so alone, even though she was secure in his arms; her eyes were wide with panic, and her entire body shook. He just couldn’t take seeing her like that. And he didn’t think she’d ever stop shivering. But after about eleven o’clock, her heartbeat slowed and her breaths became less ragged.

But she still smelled of adrenaline and blood. The blood concerned him most; he’d found a shard of glass imbedded in her palm, and had removed it as carefully as he could. Allai was too close to unconsciousness to even notice the pain.

“You’re okay,” Drake murmured to her for maybe the hundredth time.

It was such a lie. Because there was another scent clinging to her: lilac. The sweet scent was slowly fading, but it still filled the air of the truck. If he didn’t know better, he would have thought the girl had sprayed on fancy perfume. But he did know better: Sano magic smelled like honeysuckle flowers. Caedes magic smelled like lilac.

Thinking of that simple word— ‘Caedes’—made his heart beat faster. Every time he closed his eyes, he kept flashing back to that moment he’d run into the convenience store. The lilac smell had nearly choked him, and the crackling magic in the air almost pushed him back outside. And then there was Allai. She’d been collapsed on the floor, her magic strangling the life out of herself and two other people.

The next few minutes were just a timeless blur. But Allai was relatively safe now, and that was what mattered.

Allai stirred a little, and pressed her face into Drake’s neck. “There were flames,” she mumbled. It was the first time she’d spoken since he’d brought her back to the truck.

Drake didn’t understand what she meant; there hadn’t been a fire at the scene, and he hadn’t smelled anything burnt. But he was just relieved to hear her talk. Drake pulled her a little closer. “Hey,” he whispered in her ear. “Welcome back. You were pretty out of it for a while.”

She blinked a couple of times. “Drake, there were flames.”

So maybe she wasn’t completely with it, yet. That didn’t really matter. He’d hold her for as long as it took for her to come around. “Shh,” Drake said. He brushed her hair away from her face, so he could look in her eyes. “You’re fine, little Nox. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, okay?”

“Drake.” She looked back at him, her eyes wide and scared. “I almost killed them.”

Well, shit. She’d been barely conscious when he’d found her, and he had hoped she wouldn’t remember what happened. Or maybe she hadn’t even seen it.

Apparently not.

Lying was the best option. He’d just tell her that she’d been hallucinating, and that she’d never lost control. Maybe he’d even add some story about taking her to the hospital, and the doctor saying it could never happen again. That’d make her feel safe.

“Yeah,” Drake said quietly. “You almost killed them.”

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie to her, not after all the betrayal she’d gone through. Besides, she’d figure it out eventually. She might as well hear it now.

For a moment, Allai’s eyes got even wider. She stared up at Drake, like she was waiting for him to take back his words. When he didn’t, her expression slowly went blank. Drake knew that look; it was the one she’d showed earlier, when she’d been miserable and unresponsive. This was too much for her to take in. He was overwhelming her.

Drake sighed. He should have lied. Could he do anything right?

“It’s okay, little Nox,” Drake murmured. He pulled her a little closer. It felt so natural, so vital. He wondered how he’d gotten by without her for so long. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

She shivered and pressed her face back into his shirt collar. “What
did
I do?”

Her voice shook so hard that he barely understood the question. And he wished he hadn’t understood it, because how was he supposed to answer? He couldn’t tell her that he was as clueless as she was. No, that would put her over the edge.

“It was magic,” he replied. There. That was at least one solid fact she could cling to.

“Yeah.” She swallowed hard. “The flames. It must have been magic.”

“What flames are you talking about, little Nox?”

“They were just colored flames. All around…” She shuddered. “They were killing those people.
I
was killing those people.” She paused for a moment, and then said, “I already killed Conrad. I shouldn’t have killed him, Drake. I shouldn’t have. And what if I’d killed those people, too?”

“But you didn’t,” Drake said softly. “You didn’t kill them. They’ll be fine.” He decided not to even mention Conrad. She’d killed the Trident in self-defense, but Drake guessed she wouldn’t appreciate hearing that now.

“You’re sure those people will be okay?” she whispered.

“Yeah, little Nox. They’ll be just fine.”

Allai nodded and closed her eyes, which wasn’t a good idea. Drake knew that from experience. Closing your eyes was the same as screaming an invitation for a flashback. And memories of death never declined an invitation.

It didn’t take long for her to figure that out. Allai’s eyes snapped back open after just a couple seconds, and she let out a small whimper. Damn, he hated that sound. He hated this entire situation.

“Flames,” Drake said. “How big were these flames?” He needed to keep her talking. Hopefully it’d prevent her from going into shock.

“Tiny,” she said. “And they were blue. No, red. But mostly blue.”

Small, blue flames. She had to be talking about Frost Fire.

Tanner had talked about this before, when he reminisced about the times when Mages had flourished and lived peacefully alongside Demon-kind. Drake chewed at his lip for a moment, and then asked, “You’re sure the flames were blue?” She’d already confirmed that twice. But he wanted to hear it again, just in case she’d been wrong before. Just in case she’d change her answer. Then hopefully he could calm the panic rising in his chest.

But what was it Dad had always said about being hopeful?
‘Hope is for fools, Drake. You’re already an idiot, don’t degrade yourself further with stupid dreams.’

“Yeah,” Allai whispered. “They were blue.”

“Of course they were,” Drake muttered under his breath. The salty tang of blood seeped onto his tongue, and he ran his tongue over his lower lip. There was a tiny cut there. He wondered how many more of those cuts he’d accidently give himself before he broke his lip-chewing habit. Probably a thousand or so, if the girl stuck around for long.

That thought made him growl and pull the girl a little closer. Of course she’d be sticking around. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her, and she… Well, maybe she
would
want to leave, and then he’d have to let her go. But first they’d have to deal with the lockgems binding them together. That almost made him happy, in a tasteless sort of way.

Allai shivered against him and let out another one of those whimpers. When had she started shaking again? He hadn’t even noticed. Some guardian he was.

“I think I know what those flames were,” he said quietly.

Allai didn’t answer. But he waited, and eventually she gave a slow nod. She was ready; she could take this.

“I think it was Frost Fire,” Drake continued. “It’s a type of Aura.”

“What’s an Aura?” She wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed herself close, like she was bracing for the answer.

He stroked her hair a couple times, hoping to soothe her. It was odd how
normal
the contact felt. Well, maybe not normal. He couldn’t call it that, because his heart pounded harder every time she nuzzled closer. But the contact was…
familiar
. That was the right word for it. It was like all those years they’d been apart had never existed.

“An Aura is a person’s emotions in a physical form,” Drake murmured in her ear. “Different colors show different feelings and states of mind. Blue shows ultimate defeat. Mages used to call it ‘Frost Fire’.”

Allai took a deep breath. “Caedes Mages see these Auras, don’t they? That’s how I… How I almost killed those people. Drake, my powers are developing, aren’t they?”

Drake didn’t want to respond. The girl seemed so fragile, hiding inside his truck, curled up and shaking against him. But he had to respond, and he had to tell her the truth. She deserved at least that much from him.

“Yeah,” he said. “Some Caedes can see Auras. We call them Empaths. I guess you’re developing the powers of one.”

He didn’t add the rest of the thoughts swirling around his mind: that there hadn’t been an Empath born in two centuries, that they were the thought to be extinct. And that it would have been
good
if they were extinct. Because Empaths were simply too powerful.

“Can Empaths’ powers be dangerous?” she asked, her voice tiny and hushed. “I mean, is that how I was killing them?”

He almost laughed at her question. ‘Dangerous’ wasn’t the right word to describe an Empath. Chainsaws were dangerous, and high cliffs were dangerous. But Empaths? No. They were simply deadly.

Drake sighed. “Yeah, little Nox. Empaths are dangerous. They can…”

He didn’t know how to describe their powers without putting her over the edge. Was it even possible? He chewed at his lip for a moment before slowly saying, “If an Empaths changes a person’s Aura to Frost Fire—to defeat—it’s like stripping them of their will to live. The person’s heart and stuff will shut down. So, yeah, they’re dangerous.”

Drake decided now wasn’t the time to tell her about their other powers: That Empaths had control over all four elements, and that they could mess with people’s minds in ways he didn’t even want to think about. The Empaths were the reason Demons and Hunters despised Mages.

Allai’s arms jerked away from his neck, like she was afraid to touch him. But Drake had a feeling he wasn’t the one scaring her. She was afraid of hurting him; she was scared of herself.

“You didn’t mean to do it,” Drake reminded her. He pulled her a little closer, to show her that he wasn’t afraid of her. He could never fear her, no matter how powerful or deadly she became. “You’re not a dangerous person, little Nox. You’ll never be.”

“Drake.” She paused and swallowed hard. “But I… I hurt them. I almost
killed
them.”

“I know what dangerous people are like,” Drake insisted. “I lived with one for seventeen years. You’re not one of them.”

She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment. “What did you do to that guy?” she mumbled. “You touched him, and then it was like he forgot everything. What happened?”

It was a desperate attempt to change the subject. And he’d go along with it gladly, even if her question brought up a topic nearly as uncomfortable as the current one.

“I stole his memories,” Drake muttered.

Why did that make him feel guilty? His first decision had been to kill the bastard—the man deserved it for endangering Allai the way he had. Stealing his memories had been the merciful option.

But he still felt guilty, just like he did every time he used his ability. Sometimes he wished he could just accept Dad’s philosophy on Mage powers:
‘Mages are born above others, Drake. They deserve to use their powers however they wish.’
But accepting his philosophy would be the same as accepting Dad. And Drake couldn’t do that, not after what Dad had done. Not ever.

“Oh,” Allai finally responded. “But how… How is that possible? I mean, you’re a Demon. You’re not supposed to have powers like that.”

Drake closed his eyes. He didn’t want the girl to see the disgust in his expression. Because she was right: He wasn’t supposed to have Mage powers. Thanks to Dad, he was nothing but a genetics experiment. A freak of nature.

“My dad figured out a way to breed Mage genes into Demon bloodlines,” Drake said quietly. “My mom was a Sano Mage. And my dad, well, you know. He’s a Demon. I was the first Demon-Mage hybrid born in centuries.”

And he’d been perfect. Drake still had faint memories from when he was three or four, when Dad had gloated over his very existence. But then he’d gotten older. He’d started to develop a personality, and it’d been clear that he’d taken after his mom, instead of Dad. He didn’t want to fight, or kill, or win. Drake wanted the very last thing Dad desired: He wanted everything to be peaceful.

Suddenly, Drake was nothing but a disappointment. And Dad never let him forget that.

Drake took a deep breath before continuing. “Dad thinks my powers are useless, which is probably why he’s let me get away from him. But I’ve lied to him about my abilities. I don’t just transfer memories. I can take them, or erase them, or even implant new ones.”

The words felt strange on his tongue. He’d never said them out-loud. Even the Chimeras thought he had the relatively-useless ability of transferring memories from one person to another. Ever since he was eleven, when he’d discovered the extent of his abilities, he’d kept them hidden. Because what if Dad found out? Even now, eight years after figuring out his powers, that thought made his heart pound wildly.

Allai nodded slowly, still taking in his words. “Okay.”

Her reaction wasn’t normal. Drake wasn’t one for conversations, or for the complex emotions that they always seemed to be rooted in. Or girls. He didn’t understand girls, either. But, even with his limited experience, he knew something was off.

He tried again. “Do you get what I’m saying, little Nox? I’m more powerful than the average Sano Mage. Probably more powerful than any other Sano. I can take peoples’ memories away, or give them false ones, or screw with their memories however I want. Like, when I escaped from my cell in the dungeon. I messed with that guards mind and made him forget to lock the door.”

That ought to do it. She just needed to hear it more directly. As soon as it soaked in, she’d realize how powerful he truly was—a black-blooded Demon, and a dangerous Sano Mage—and she’d freak out.

Allai looked up at him. There was a little fear in her expression, but relief overshadowed it. Why was that relief there? It was the last emotion she should feel.