Full Circle (24 page)

“Okay, so let me say first that when we went
to Saint Lucia, he opened up about his past and some of the”—how
could she express all the stuff Mark had done in one
word?—“
things
he’s done. Some of them a bit more on the
wrong side of the tracks, if you know what I mean.” She held up her
hand defensively. “But don’t tell him I told you that, okay.”

They both cocked their heads and crossed
their fingers over their hearts.

“Karma, you’ve known me long enough to know I
would never break your confidence,” Daniel said.

“And you’ve known me almost as long to know I
won’t either,” Zach added. “Whatever you want to tell us stays with
us. We’re like Vegas, just without the cool costumes.”

She knew that, of course. She’d known Daniel
since college and met Zach soon after. Other than Lisa, they were
her best friends.

Daniel started pouring the soup in a pan.
“And it’s not like we couldn’t see this coming from a hundred miles
away. His wrong-side-of-the-tracks activity, I mean.”

“Mm-hm.” Zach slid a bottle of water across
the counter toward her then unscrewed the cap on his own. “Because
a man that fine is bound to have some skeletons in
that
closet. What, with all the women he’s dated and all that.”

Zach had always been the less tactful of the
two. Not that he was insensitive. He just had a very thin
brain-to-mouth filter. Sometimes it didn’t catch everything it
should.

“Gee, thanks for reminding me, Z.” She swiped
the bottle of water and twisted off the cap.

Daniel lightly punched Zach’s shoulder. “Nice
going.”

He held up his hands. “What? I’m not saying
anything we don’t already know.”

Shaking his head in consternation, Daniel
turned back toward Karma. “Don’t listen to him. He still possesses
Neanderthal genes.” He stirred the soup. “So, go on. What did Mark
tell you that has you so flummoxed?”

Flummoxed. Good choice of word.

“Okay, so he told me all about his past while
we were in Saint Lucia, and then a few weeks ago, he said there was
more he hadn’t yet told me. In fact, it was the night we made the
offer on the house.”

Was she doing the right thing by revealing to
them what Mark had told her in private? But if anyone could relate,
it was Daniel and Zach, right? Maybe they could shed some light on
the subject and ease her mind.

She knitted her fingers together. The boys
were now parked across the counter from her, all ears.

She was stalling.

“Anyway,” she said, “I thought it was going
to be this really horrible thing, and then he revealed that he’s an
exhibitionist. That he has exhibitionist fantasies.”

The expression on Daniel’s face was the
epitome of the phrase, “Is that all?”

“Just wait,” she said. “There’s more.” She
felt like one of those advertisements on TV.
But wait! There’s
more! If you buy now, you’ll also receive a second sexual fantasy
for free. Aaaannnd, we’ll throw in one butt plug and an anal dildo
with your order!

“Go on,” Daniel said.

“He wants me to do exhibitionist things with
him, too. Like, wear a provocative dress in public where he can
fondle me and, maybe, you know,
do it
in the coat closet
where someone could walk in on us.”

“And this is a problem
because . . . ?” Zach looked like his mind was
working over the possibilities of doing something similar with
Daniel at their next social engagement.

“That’s not all,” she said. “There’s
more.”

“Well then, honey, get to the point. We’re
gonna grow old and wrinkly at this pace.”

“Okay, okay. Give me a second. This
is . . . ?” What exactly was this? Embarrassing?
Abnormal? Perfectly normal and healthy and she was just being
silly? “Odd,” she finally said. “At least for me.”

Daniel pulled his head back and stood up
straight, eyebrows pinched. “Odd?” His expression shifted into
curious amusement as he leaned forward again and rested his
forearms on the counter with a crooked grin splashed across his
face. “Oh, I can already tell this is going to be good.”

Groaning, Karma dropped her arms and slumped
forward until her forehead bonked the counter, which made Daniel
and Zach laugh.

“It’s not funny,” she said, pushing herself
back into an upright position.

Zach nudged Daniel’s upper arm with his.
“Well, if you’d just spit out whatever it is, we might understand
what’s so odd about it and why it has you in such a twist.”

Yes, she definitely felt a greater
appreciation for what Mark had gone through to tell her this.

“Fine. Okay. Just . . .” She
held her hands in front of her, fingers splayed, palms down, as if
she were pressing the air toward the floor. “Mark
likes . . . well . . .” She sighed.
“He enjoys anal play.”

Daniel and Zach frowned and tilted their
heads in unison, in perfect sync with one another. They were like
twin bobbleheads. Their actions would have been humorous under
different circumstances.

Daniel pushed off the counter, eyeing her.
“Okay, so he wants to have anal sex with you? Is that what you’re
saying?”

She felt like she was folding in on herself.
“Partly.”

“And the other part?”

It was like there was a great big rolling
storm cloud hanging over their heads. Just waiting to drop a
deluge.

“He says he enjoys . . . you
know . . .” Did she really need to say it? Couldn’t
they infer the rest without her actually having to speak the
words?

“What?” Daniel’s eyes narrowed as he turned
his head slightly to one side as if his mind were racing over what
exactly she was trying to tell him.

“You know . . .” Karma nodded
tightly, eyes wide, as if that would somehow communicate what she
was trying to say better than her voice could.

Zach was the first to get it.

“Oh! Oh my God!” He jumped back and thrust
his hands out in front of him as if holding back a rush of Black
Friday Christmas shoppers. “Oh, hell, I think I’ve died and gone to
gay heaven!” He started laughing and shoved Daniel. “He likes it up
the ass, Danny! Oh my God, that’s it, isn’t it?” He turned toward
Karma and rushed the counter like a winning game-show contestant,
eyes bright. “Am I right? I’m right, aren’t I? He likes it up the
ass.”

And there came the deluge.

His reaction almost made Karma laugh. Almost.
Except for that on-the-edge-of-crying feeling.

“Yes.” She held her hands palms-up, fingers
curled into claws as if she were gripping a pair of elephant balls.
“But, oh my God, what do I do? I’ve never . . . this
has never . . . just . . . oh my God,
guys! What am I supposed to do?”

“What are you supposed to do?” Zach was
beyond hysterical, laughing as if he were the happiest guy on the
planet, oblivious to her consternation. “Give the man what he
wants, honey!” He shook his head as if he still couldn’t believe
it. “This is so awesome. A straight man who isn’t afraid to admit
he enjoys taking it up the ass.”

And there he went again, being the most
tactless man on Earth.

He spun on Daniel, whose face was the picture
of amusement. “This is the best thing I’ve heard all year.” He
bobbed his head back and forth and shrugged. “I mean, I know the
year’s barely begun, but I can’t imagine I’ll hear anything better
than this for the next ten months. This is
just . . . Oh my God, Karma.” He whirled back
around. “Thank you. Thank you for making my day.”

“Glad I could be of service.” She shot them
both a helpless look. “Now, help me out. I don’t know what to
do.”

Zach calmed and shimmied up to the counter,
all ears and wide smiles. “Girl, he must really love you to tell
you something like that. That takes balls.”

“Why?”

Daniel finally chimed in. “Because there’s
this stigma among straight men that if they admit they like
anything
up their ass, people will think they’re gay.”

Mark
had
told her that.

Zach nodded. “But the truth is, if more
straight men realized how good it feels, they wouldn’t be such
idiots about admitting they like it. Your guy’s got a lot of
courage to admit something like that. Don’t take that for granted,
Karma.”

“But what do I do?”

“Wear a strap-on and go at him?” Zach
suggested.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “He
already told me that’s not what he wants.”

Daniel rested his arms on the counter again
and bent forward. “How about a prostate plug or something like that
to stimulate him?”

Zach’s head bobbed up and down vigorously.
“Oh yeah. Or maybe one of those prostate stimulator-cock ring
combos. Those are incredible.”

Daniel smiled at him in a way that said he
and Zach possessed firsthand knowledge of this sex toy Zach spoke
of. “Oh yeah, I bet he’d really like that. That’s uh, yeah, that’s
a good one.” Daniel turned toward her, visibly hot under the
collar. “And you would, too. Talk about giving the man staying
power and still rocking his socks off.”

“And his
rocks
.” Zach nodded
dramatically. “The anal plug-cock ring thing is hot. Really hot.
Daniel and I can definitely vouch for it. We’ve—”

Karma held up her hand and slammed her eyes
shut as if that would turn off her ears. “Okay, okay, okay. I’m
learning way more about your guys’ sex life than I wanted to.”

When she opened her eyes again, Daniel was
smiling from ear to ear. “Welcome to our world, my young
apprentice. You’re one of us now. Pay attention and learn well.” He
straightened and reached across the counter for his laptop then
opened it and began typing. “We’re about to educate you. With our
help, you’re going to blow Mark’s mind.”

“But I have so many questions. I’m not even
sure I can do this.”

“Sure you can.”

“It’s not weird?”

Daniel scoffed. “No, it’s not weird. As long
as you don’t make it weird.”

Zach leaned over Daniel’s shoulder, watching
him type. “This isn’t weird at all, Karma. Mark’s just a man who’s
obviously in tune with his body and what he likes. Seriously, if
more men would explore their backdoor, they wouldn’t be such dicks
about guys sticking their wicks up there.”

Something about that sentence sounded all
wrong, but given the source, should she really expect anything
less?

“Why is that?”

“Because, honey, that’s where the magic
happens. That’s where a guy’s G-spot is.”

“Mark did try to explain that to me.”

“Well, listen to the man. He knows what he’s
talking about. If he likes a little toy up his bum, stick one there
and let the fireworks fly, sweetie.” Zach placed his hand over
hers. “And it’s perfectly normal. It doesn’t make him gay or
anything. Which is really a tragedy if you ask me, because that man
needs to be gay the way Beyoncé needs to insure her ass.”

Daniel looked up, frowning curiously. “She
hasn’t?”

Zach shrugged. “I don’t know, but if she
hasn’t, she needs to. That’s all I’m saying.”

She was feeling a little better about this
whole issue. Maybe this wasn’t the big deal her over-analyzing,
hyper-aware mind had turned it into over the last few weeks. And if
it could intensify their sex life then it couldn’t be a bad thing,
right?

“So, I’m just being weird then? This is all
perfectly normal.”

“That’s what we’re saying,” Daniel said. The
compassionate, level tone of his voice further soothed her anxiety.
“You don’t have to worry about Mark going all homo on you. And like
Zach said, he really loves you to share something so deeply
personal. I think you’ve found yourself a winner in that one.”

A winner. Mark was a winner. “You’re right.”
She finally allowed herself to smile. “He is pretty terrific, isn’t
he?”

“Uh, slightly,” Zach said.

Daniel spun his laptop around. “That’s what
you need.”

He was on Cārvāka’s website. The same place
where Mark had ordered her a box full of toys two summers ago. Did
everyone know about Cārvāka except for her? First Mark. Now Daniel
and Zach.

She stared at the smooth, curved contraption
on the screen. It was black and smaller than she imagined, with a
flared base that connected to a slender cord attached to a ring.
So, this was what Mark wanted? She hadn’t even thought to jump
online and do a web search.

Daniel angled the laptop back toward him
while Zach checked on their soup. “Or you could do something like
this.” He clicked on a cock ring that was translucent pink with a
protrusion that looked a bit like a lobster claw or rabbit ears on
one side.

“What’s that?”

“That’s a cock ring made for him
and
her.” He pointed to a tiny silver nub to the side of the rabbit
ears. “See that? That’s where the batteries go. Three watch
batteries.” He sounded like he was reading that last part from the
product specs.

“Why does it need batteries?” Then she drew
in her breath. “Oh, it’s a vibrator.”

“Yes. And you can’t tell me that doesn’t
excite you even just a little bit.”

Her face warmed, so she knew she was
flushed.

Daniel began clicking and scrolling. “Or
there’s these cock rings. This is a set of seven.” Daniel began
reading off the site. “They stretch to accommodate any size, so
that’s good. And each of the seven is textured differently to give
the woman—or man”—he glanced at Zach as he returned with their
soup—“a different sensation. But I think these are made more for a
woman’s pleasure,” he amended.

She lifted a spoonful of soup and blew on it,
totally engrossed at this point. When she got home, she would need
to spend some time perusing Cārvāka’s site. Definitely.

Daniel clicked a few more times. “And then
you can pair any of those cock rings with any of these prostate
stimulators.” He clicked on one made of glass with a broad, rounded
handle at the base. “I recommend something like this. It’s smooth,
not too large, has a nice, gentle curve that will allow it to hit
him just right, and with the wide base, you won’t risk losing it
inside.”