Full Disclosure (Homefront: The Sheridans Book 2) (16 page)

“Maybe a few,” she admits, her eyes
dropping away from mine.

“And they’re in my car?”

“Mmmm,” she murmurs in response, her
breath quickening.

My hand moves up her leg with barely a
caress, and then strokes along the fabric of her shorts.

My back is to the doorway, blocking her
from view if anyone happened to step into the room. She’s feverishly hot where
I’m touching her, and seeming to throb with need.

I’m just daring enough that I’m tempted. Just
devilish enough that I can’t resist.

I toy with her through the cotton,
finding the hard nub that seems to demand my attention, when her eyes slam shut
and she murmurs a quiet, “Oh my God.”

Her breathing nearly stops as her lips part
slightly, wanting more of this clandestine touch I offer her.

“And is it daylight in this fantasy of
yours?” I ask. “With a bright sun so that I can watch you come as I hike up
your skirt and plunge inside of you?”

Her shorts are fanned out slightly,
allowing me to easily slide a finger up the short inseam of them till I touch
the damp cotton. God, she needs this, I can tell. She needs this almost nearly
as desperately as I do.

“Ryan...” I hear a hint of hesitation,
even as I see her open her legs to me a bit more.

“Just stay still. Stay right where you
are. I’ll make this fast for you, baby.” Even those words seem to lift her higher
on the steady rise to a climax, and when my finger pushes past the leg of her
panties touching her clit, I feel the dampness turn slick, wet, needy. My ears
stay alert for the sound of footsteps on the stairs behind me, but I hear none
as my finger makes a tight circle around her nub, just the way I know she
desperately needs.

I won’t make her wait; I won’t tease her
this time. I’ll just bring her the fast satisfaction she needs to make her want
this to continue—want
us
to continue—even after Monday’s
daybreak and reality settles in.

“That’s it, baby,” I say, stoking the
fire. “Ride it. That’s it. Picture me inside you now, taking you hard and fast in
the back seat of my car.” I feel the fluid around my finger as I slip inside
her, curving upward, gently at first, then more forcefully as I feel her folds
clamp down on my invasion. “Let go, baby. Let go now,” I coax her, coerce her,
command her with my mouth not an inch from her ear. Every whisper seems to fuel
her desire. “Picture me in you now, so hard. Picture it and let me see you
come.”

Her eyes fly open, looking directly at
me, yet seeming to be looking right through me as she loses herself in
sensation. It’s erotic to watch her like this, fully clothed, letting me touch
her beneath the bright lights of my gym. The deep brown of her eyes seems to
sparkle with golden flecks as her body reacts rhythmically to my touch and my
words.

Her eyes shut again, and her head lowers
as I feel her tighten up around me, throbbing, just as she emits a pained
whimper, holding back the scream that I know she is feeling inside.

“Shhh, baby. That’s it,” I encourage her,
savoring every shudder I’ve caused, every pulsing I feel on my finger. I keep
my palm pressed tight to her center, letting her ride each wave fully again and
again till her body finally relaxes.

When I feel the last tremor end, I slide
my finger out of her. “And you said we’d need more than an hour,” I tease.

“Believe me when I say, it will take more
than an hour for me to recover from that.”

A grin sidles up my face. “I’ll take that
as a compliment.”

~ KIM ~

I need some Ray-Bans to protect my eyes
from the glare. The setting sun is shining through Allie’s kitchen window, reflecting
on what has to be at least three carats of diamond glory resting on her ring
finger.

Holy crap.

“I can’t believe it. Well, I
can
believe it. I suspected it was coming. But now…” Cass’s voice trails, taking
Allie’s hand. “You’re really marrying Logan. Oh, you lucky bitch.”

“He’s the one who’s lucky,” I remind her,
draping my arm around Allie’s shoulder and giving a squeeze.

“You’re both lucky.” Reaching for her
wine, Cass eyes Allie’s left hand. “But with a ring like that, you’re going to
start having to get manicures.”

I snort. Allie getting a manicure? That’ll
be the day.

I wind my fork around the lo mein
noodles, and lift it next to my lips. “So when’s the big day?” I ask before
taking a bite.

Allie shrugs. “We haven’t really decided
yet. But Logan suggested this spring.”

“So soon?” Cass walks to the fridge to
retrieve the bottle of Chardonnay. “Wow, he’s anxious,” she says as she pours
herself a refill.

“He’d like to start building us a house. And
then, of course, we’d sell our townhomes.”

My face falls. “Crap. Down my two
favorite neighbors. It’s sucking to be me right now.”

Cass gives me a light slap. “You’re
sleeping with a billionaire. Don’t think you’ll get any sympathy from me.” She takes
an eager sip of her wine. “So, I guess this means I have to come back to
Newton’s Creek. I mean, if I’m invited, that is…”

“Invited? Hell, I want you both to be my
bridesmaids.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet. Of course we will,”
I say, picturing myself in a gown, bawling my eyes out as Allie says her vows
to Logan. I shudder, feeling chills. Weddings get me so emotional.

“Only if I get some say in what dress you
pick out for us. I’m not wearing anything taffeta, and red looks best with my
complexion. But yeah, you can definitely count on me. I’d be honored.”

 Allie closes up the box of her
fried rice and puts the leftovers in her fridge. Then she drags a stool to the
opposite side of the kitchen counter so she can face us. “Big weekend, huh?”
she says, giving me a meaningful look.

“I’d say,” I answer. “Not often a girl
gets engaged.”

“I don’t mean that. I mean you.
And
Ryan
.” She says those last two words with great import. “So?”

Both their sets of eyes are on me now,
and I feel my hands get clammy. “So? So what? We had a fling. It was great.” I
pause thoughtfully. “No, it was mind-blowing. But that’s that.”

And that will be that, I tell myself
again, for the thousandth time today. Something about settling back into my own
house, and spending eight hours in my boring beige cubicle answering phones and
sorting emails brought me back to some semblance of reality.

“What do you mean, that’s that?” Cass’s
upper lip is curled up in dispute.

“Come on. Look at Ryan. Then look at me. He
might be intrigued by me just because… hell, there are just a handful of single
women in this damn town and he’s having a hard time branching out now that he’s
a full-time dad. But that time will pass.” I convince myself further by
finishing off my glass of wine and pouring myself a half-glass more. Hell, it’s
not like I have to drive home.

Allie reaches over and knocks lightly on
my skull. “Hello? Anyone home? The guy is taking your kid for pizza right now
along with his daughter. That doesn’t sound like a fling.”

I pull back from her. “What?”

“He and Hannah wanted to join Logan and
Connor tonight for pizza.”

“Yeah, a guy who’s just out for a piece
of ass isn’t going to join your kid for pizza.”

“Dammit.” I frown, thinking about Connor
right now, stuffing his face with pepperoni pizza and enjoying the company of a
dad-like figure. He had lapped it up last night. I can’t let him fall deeper
into the idea that Ryan might be around as some kind of permanent figure in his
life.

“What’s wrong?”

“I just—I wish you had told me. I
don’t want Connor getting more attached.”

Allie rests her head on her hand. “I
swear I’m going to slap you one of these days. Why should you deprive Connor of
being around a guy like Ryan? It can only be a good thing.”

I shrug, taking a too-long sip of my
wine. “Because it’s going to end. Ryan doesn’t need to settle on someone.”

Cass pushes herself back from the
counter, turning to me. “Settle? Who says he’s settling? You’re young, pretty. And
even if you don’t have particularly good taste in clothing,” she adds, tweaking
a finger against my shapeless cotton t-shirt, “you’re smart. You’d be good for
him.”

Allie leans back and points a thumb at
Cass. “What she said.”

I throw back the rest of my wine, wishing
it were Scotch. “I have too much baggage.”

Allie’s eyes widen. “Ouch, Kim. I’ve
never heard you call your son baggage before.”

Shoulders sagging, I press my hands
against Allie’s cool granite. “Connor’s not the baggage, dammit. It’s how he
came into this world that’s the baggage.”

My words hang low in the room, and Cass
reaches for the bottle. She fills my glass just short of the rim. “Okay. So
we’re listening. Are you actually talking?”

I spring from my stool suddenly, feeling
the need to bolt. I don’t talk about this. Ever.

Moving toward the window, I look out on
the serenity of the creek that runs past our homes. I have a good thing here. A
good home for Connor. A good job. Good friends. Why do I feel the need to mess
up my pretty picture by wanting more out of my life?

“He just wasn’t exactly planned. That’s
all. I don’t feel like my son is a mistake. But the way he got here, well,
that’s the mistake. I was stupid.”

“Didn’t sound like your fault at all. You
said the condom broke, right? That’s usually more the guy’s screw-up than
yours.”

I feel the sting of tears on my cheek and
I swear I don’t know how they got there. I’m normally so controlled. But I’m
tired and confused and the alcohol swimming through my veins seems to have
opened up the padlocks in my soul.

“We didn’t use a condom.” I don’t look at
them now. I don’t like the fact that I lied to my closest friends.

“Okay, so the hell what?” Cass’s voice
slices through the silence. “Who among us hasn’t messed that up sometimes? Well,
excluding Allie. She’s way too responsible to even be fun.”

“Hey,” Allie’s voice cuts in.

“Sorry.”

Their dialogue behind me seems to anchor
me, keeping me in the present. Allie stands and I hear her sock feet pad toward
me. I feel her arm rest lightly over my shoulder. “So that’s it? You didn’t use
a condom and ended up pregnant? Is that really so heinous that you’d end a
relationship with Ryan?”

“No, that’s not it.” I trust them, a
voice inside me urges. I do. I have to.

The silence consumes the room, and I hear
the thermostat click on. I feel my thoughts vibrate in my head, words form, and
my mouth finally open.

“I don’t remember what happened.” My
voice seems so small, almost drowned out by the low hum of the refrigerator a
few feet away. “I went to a party with a guy I’d met on campus. I didn’t know
him well. Didn’t know his friends. He gave me a drink that night and I swear
that’s the last thing I remember.”

I can feel a deep freeze in the air
suddenly, and Cass’s and Allie’s eyes on me even though I don’t dare look. Allie’s
arm is still draped over my shoulder but it’s stiff suddenly, as though a chill
in her veins has frozen it solid.

“Son of a bitch.” Her utterance is
dripping with anger, a tone I don’t think I’ve ever heard from Allie.

My mouth forms a tight line, as I bite on
a tiny piece of skin on my lower lip anxiously. “I woke up the next morning in
his bed. I was naked. He wasn’t even there. I grabbed my things and left. I
called him later that day. I just wanted answers. He said I really shouldn’t
drink if it makes me act like a whore. He said I wasn’t his type and to get
lost.” I shake my head and free myself from Allie’s arm, needing space. “I was
so damn confused. I don’t remember anything.”

“He raped you. Fucking son of a bitch put
a roofie in your drink and he raped you,” Cass says.

In my peripheral vision, I see Allie’s
eyes dart toward her.

“It happened to a roommate of mine in New
York. Some guy slipped something in her drink,” Cass explains. “It happens a
lot more than you think.”

 “I didn’t know
what
happened,”
I retort quickly. “For all I knew, I
did
drink too much. Or maybe I
didn’t say no.”

“It sure as hell doesn’t sound like you
said yes. That’s rape.”

Somehow hearing them say it, hearing them
utter the word that’s always loomed in my own head, makes it all seem more
real.

“Did you tell anyone?” Allie’s voice is
almost a whisper.

“No,” I shake my head. “God, no. I was
too confused. I really didn’t know what to even say. I was underage, too, so I
didn’t want to have to fess up about the drink I’d had. And how could I prove
anything? I wasn’t even sure what happened. And I was scared of what my parents
would say. They’d probably tell me I had asked for it.”

Allie opens up her mouth, but I cut her
off with, “You know they would. They’d have blamed me for drinking underage with
a guy I didn’t know. They’re not the worst parents, but they’re not exactly the
first to jump to my defense.”

“So you never told anyone?”

“Shit. That’s a hell of a burden,” Cass
mutters.

“And Connor?” Allie’s question hangs
between us. She can’t even say it, and I don’t blame her.

“I was three months pregnant before I
finally did a test. I should have figured it out earlier than that, but I just
kept thinking that it was the stress that caused me to skip my periods. I
didn’t want to believe I could have gotten pregnant. There was still this part
of me that refused to believe it even happened. I mean, I know that sounds
stupid. But if you can’t remember something, there’s just this piece of you
that can’t accept that something is reality.”

I lift my hand to my shoulders and
massage the knots forming at the base of my neck. “I figured I’d have him and
then give him up for adoption. That was the plan. That’s what I promised my
parents I’d do. There was no way I wanted to raise him myself and have that
constant reminder of what had happened. Then I saw him.” My eyes drift, and
it’s like I can see him again, resting on my belly with a light blanket on him
just seconds after I gave birth. He looked so helpless. So perfect. My world
tilted on its axis in that moment. “There was nothing that would get me to part
with him.”

“And you never told your parents about
the father?”

“No. And I never will. I don’t want them
looking at my son that way. You know, like he’s the result of something
horrible that happened. I don’t trust them to not slip up and say something to
him in the heat of an argument. I know it sounds awful to say that, but I
don’t. And this is a small town. I didn’t want anyone finding out. People talk
around here.”

“They do. You’re right about that.” Cass
is at my side now, sliding her arm onto my shoulder again. “But we won’t,” she
adds. “You know that, right?”

“I know.” I turn to Allie. “Please don’t
even tell Logan this. It has to be kept to the three of us.”

“I won’t. I swear it. But you know that
you could trust him, too. He’s been through a lot in his life. Dealt with a lot
of pain. If you needed someone else to know, he’d be the one to turn to.”

“Ryan, too,” Cass jumps in. She slaps her
hand on her thigh. “Dammit, Kim, you can’t sabotage this relationship because
of something that wasn’t your fault.”

“I can’t be with Ryan, though. Don’t you
see? Relationships… they lead to sharing… honesty.” I say the last two words
with a hint of disdain. “That’s why I’m always saying that I can’t have a real
relationship with a man. It wouldn’t be fair. I’d have to keep this from him,
and how could I really do that?”

“You can trust Ryan.”

“I can’t take that chance. What if he
slipped one day? This is my son we’re talking about here. My world. I can’t have
Connor finding out, knowing that he’s the son of a—”

“—rapist,” Cass finishes for me,
and the word brings a chill to my spine. Hearing it out loud—the ugliness
of it—only strengthens my resolve to keep this quiet.

Allie rests a hand on her hip. “He wouldn’t
slip up. Ryan’s a sharp guy. He never slips about anything.”

Cass raises her eyebrows. “He’s more
likely to track the bastard down and beat the crap out of him. He might wear a
pretty suit, but he’s still a Sheridan.”

Allie shrugs. “True. Would that be so bad
though? The bastard deserves it.”