Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman's Guide to Why Feminism Matters (18 page)

The third wave (which I suppose I’m a part of) also has a bunch of unsavory stereotypes attached to it. We’re supposedly the flighty, unserious feminists. ’Cause we like makeup
and heels and talk about pop culture. Silliness. But to a certain extent, that’s what makes the third wave kind of fabulous. We’re still working on the serious issues, but we understand that the things that don’t necessarily seem integral (pop culture, for example), well, are.

When I think third wave, I think of academic stuff, like different feminist theories (queer, postcolonial). But the less dry stuff associated with third-wavers is magazines like the fabulous
BUST
and
Bitch
, books like
Manifesta,
and (swoon) Kathleen Hanna scrawling SLUT across her stomach.

Of course, reclaiming words like “slut,” “bitch,” and “cunt” doesn’t necessarily sit well with everyone. There’s the misconception that, somehow, using words that have traditionally been used to disparage women means we’re falling in line with sexism. But what young women are really doing is taking the power out of those words by making them our own.

The same argument can be made for things like makeup and high heels. There are young feminists who get dolled up and say that this can be empowering. That’s cool with me, though some (usually older) feminists say we’re fooling ourselves. The thing is, I’m a fan of makeup and heels—and while I don’t think that makes me any less of a feminist, I don’t think it makes me any more of one, either.

I
know
that certain things I enjoy—traditional “feminine” things like makeup—are created by a system that says I’m not good enough without it. Blogger Jill Filipovic (of Feministe) nails it:

The problem is, there’s still a lot of infighting—particularly of a generational kind—about what a “real” feminist is. Honestly, I’m so fucking sick and tired of people telling me how to be an appropriate feminist—or what a feminist looks like. In the same way it’s stupid to say that all feminists are hairy man-haters, it’s stupid to say that women who rock heels and mascara aren’t hardcore enough or are acquiescing to sexism.

Yes, we should analyze why we do the things we do and how they’re related to sexism, but bashing each other in feminist pissing contests is pretty much the dumbest thing ever. Having a feminist judge you for what you look like or choose to do aesthetically is no different from having a sexist man do it. Except maybe for the damage it does to the movement.

The same thing goes for opinions on controversial issues like porn. Some are going to say that if you’re not against porn, you’re not feminist enough (this tends to happen a lot in second-wave/third-wave arguments). Everyone has their own version of feminism, everyone has their idea of what feminism is. It’s not so important that we all agree all the
time as it is that we all respect each other’s opinions. How else can we move forward without killing each other?

This isn’t to say that the third wave is all pop culture all the time, or all generational tension. To a large extent, the third wave is a response to the backlash (must read: Susan Faludi’s
Backlash
¹⁴
) that came about after the second wave. Third-wave feminists are as “serious” as those who came before us, really. What I love about the third wave is that we’ve learned how to find feminism in everything—and make it our own.

A note on academic feminism: So, I have a master’s degree in women’s and gender studies. And my time in grad school and in academia was invaluable in a lot of ways. It helped me develop my feminist identity and gave me a firmer understanding of my politics. That said, academic feminism isn’t for me. I like activism. My parents didn’t go to college, but my mom is the person who really got me into feminism. (Though grudgingly at first.) I remember really wanting to go to a pro-choice march in D.C. when I was in junior high, but the idea of having to hang out with my mom for the weekend was too dorky to stand. I went anyway, and despite my crankiness at having to do all the tourist stuff and my teenage nastiness whenever my mom wanted to take a picture of us in front of some monument, I had a fantastic—and lifechanging—time. Seeing so many women mixing it up and not taking shit from the horrible anti-choicers on the sidelines of the march was all I needed to see to know that feminism was for me. When I started coming home from grad school with
ideas and theories that I couldn’t talk to her about, academic feminism ceased to be truly useful for me. I think feminism should be accessible to everybody, no matter what your education level. And while high theory is pretty fucking cool, it’s not something everyone is going to relate to.

The state of feminism right now is debatable. Some folks are still saying it’s dead, while we feminists keep on trucking. Like I’ve said before (and I’ll say again), young women are rocking shit when it comes to the feminist movement. It kills me when people say young American women aren’t interested in feminism or politics, because most of the feminists I know are women under thirty, and they’re pretty seriously into reproductive rights, poverty alleviation, the war, and plenty of other social justice issues. But when it comes to the media, the public face of feminism isn’t a young one. Neither is the face at the head of the table.

I’ve worked for a bunch of feminist organizations, some national, one international. And in the last couple of years, I’ve gotten more and more involved in popular U.S. feminism. And as much as I love it (to death), it still has its fair share of problems. The one that comes up the most for me—because of the work I do on Feministing—is the young-woman problem.

Young women are involved in every aspect of the feminist world I live in—running blogs, printing zines and magazines, and even founding small grassroots organizations.

Young women are at the helm of a ton of feminist projects. But when it comes to more well-known organizations (and places that get the big money), younger women are pretty scarce, at least in decision-making positions.

I love anecdotes, so here’s a good one on this very subject: The year 2006 marked NOW’s fortieth anniversary; it was also the first time I ever attended one of its conferences. Shameful for a lifelong feminist, I know. NOW is a power-house organization. It’s the go-to place for feminist quotes in the media, it has chapters all over the place, and it claims five hundred thousand dues-paying members. That’s huge.

So I attended as a speaker and sat on a panel about feminism and blogging. Still—I’ll admit it—I was a bit skeptical going in. I had heard rumors about previous conferences and was halfway expecting to walk into some sort of retro hand-mirror /vagina workshop. (Don’t worry, I didn’t.)

A twenty-four-year-old feminist I know—who doesn’t want me to use her name because she works with an organization affiliated with NOW—had painted a less-than-flattering picture of the 2005 conference. My friend was all
set to be on a panel, but when she checked in, NOW officials told her that her “title” wasn’t prestigious enough for her to speak. Harping on her title was just another way to say she was too young. “There was concern from NOW that I wasn’t a serious enough speaker, partly because of my age and partly because my job title wasn’t on par with the credentialed speakers I was scheduled to sit with.” She was only allowed to remain on the panel after her superior called to complain. Ouch, right?

Thankfully, when I attended the conference, NOW was holding a Young Feminist Summit to ensure that younger women had a space to discuss their issues. My only complaint about the experience was the bad graffiti font on the conference webpage and some of the hackneyed “young” language: “We will be headin’ to Albany, New York, and hangin’ at the Crowne Plaza Albany Hotel. . . .” Apparently young feminists aren’t fond of the letter
g.
But, hey, you can’t fault them for trying.

And you know, this wasn’t the only conference that has had this kind of problem. I went to a Feminist Majority Foundation conference once (it’s the organization that owns
Ms.
magazine) that brought hundreds of college feminist activists to D.C. Awesome, right? It could have been, but the whole conference was the young activists being talked at! No time for socializing, no workshops, hardly even time for questions.

I’m not trying to hate, I’m really not. I know we all do our best. But I honestly think that if our foremothers want
feminism to stay alive and kicking, they have to be willing to hand over the reins. At least to some extent. We also have to throw ourselves out there. When you see an article about feminism being dead, write a letter to the editor! Join a local women’s organization—or start your own. ’Cause unless we prove otherwise, they’re just going to keep saying that young feminists don’t exist.

I don’t know what feminist organizing will look like in the years ahead. I’d like to think it will look like a lot of things.

I think organizations like NOW and Feminist Majority Foundation may no longer be at the forefront of feminism. Many national organizations focus more on D.C. lobbying than activism, in my humble opinion. Yes, I know they’re activist organizations, but I see more activism from local groups than I do from national organizing lately. Not that that role is unimportant—it is. But the younger women I speak to see feminism going in a different direction—actually, a lot of different directions.

Thirty-one-year-old Joanne Smith, founder of the Brooklyn-based organization Girls for Gender Equity, says that the future of feminism “starts at home on a grassroots, community level. There has to be an intersection of ‘The Hill and The Hood’; the current disconnect of [feminism on the Hill] creates a false sense of achievement or advancement in a movement that must be sustained and felt by everyone, or at least a majority of the oppressed.”
¹⁵
I think this is brilliant,
and right on point. Feminism has to be about accessibility—both in how we present it and how we do it.

Amanda Marcotte, blogger for
Pandagon.net
(and friend of mine), says that blogging is a great new way to look at feminist activism, especially because it’s the realization of the old feminist adage “the personal is political.” Amanda says that the awesome thing about blogs is that they “tear down so many of the obstacles that made it hard for individual women’s stories to get an audience. The personal touch makes blogging a fertile ground for doing the hard work of waking people up to sexism and getting them committed to fighting it.”

Not shockingly, I agree. I think feminist blogs are just about the best way ever to get news about women with smart (and smartass) commentary. A lot of the work I’ve done with Feministing has informed my activism and made me think in new ways about how to be a feminist and organize around women’s issues. And for me, the most important component of my work and what I get involved in lies in its accessibility.

The great thing about doing online activism, especially blogging, is that it builds a community that you can’t get anywhere else. If you’re in some small town with no NOW chapter, or you’re in a high school where no one else calls themself a feminist, you can go to a website and get involved and talk with people from all around. I love that.

I also think that local organizing has done more for feminism than people give it credit for. Yes, big protests in D.C.
are great. But changing a local law, or even a school mandate, is incredibly important. Plus, it’s easier to see the effects of activism when it’s in your face and on your home turf.

At the end of the day, no matter what the form, any feminist activism is all good by me.

And despite the problems in feminism’s history, I think we’re a great big fucking force to be reckoned with. Especially when we’re up front about our limitations. The real power of feminism isn’t in our numbers or our public image; it’s in the quality and diversity of the women involved. We don’t need the rhetoric of sisterhood to make a difference—we already are.

Be a man. Boys don’t cry. Boys will be boys.

Men are affected by sexism too, but it’s not often talked about—especially among men themselves. That’s where feminism should step in.

The same social mores that tell young women that they should be good little girls are telling guys to be tough, to quash their feelings, and even to be violent. Their problems are our problems, ladies. Men aren’t born to rape and commit violence. Men aren’t naturally “tougher” emotionally. These gendered expectations hurt men like they hurt us.