Full Measures (22 page)

She cocked her head to the side as if deliberating. “Maybe you’re right.” She turned around with our popcorn as she caught the eye of another cadet, shamelessly flirting. “Then again, I wouldn’t mind a piece of that.”

He tipped his hat at her with a wide grin, and I pulled her toward our entry. “Don’t. All that comes out of that are knocks on your front door. Not worth it.”

She stopped me at the entrance to our section and grasped both my shoulders. “Ember, it doesn’t always end like it did for your dad. And don’t tell me your mom wouldn’t say it wasn’t worth it. You can’t think like that.”

But I did. I turned my head away, thankful it wasn’t a choice I had to make. “Let’s just find our seats.”

We made it down the stairs just in time for the puck drop, then slid past a few annoyed spectators before we found our seats, which were awesome, and totally unaffordable. “Sam, where did you get these tickets?” We were on the blue line, right on the ice.

“Jagger. He said he had a few, and I was more than happy to take them from him.”

“He seems like a pretty good guy.”

A wicked smile came across her face. “I don’t know. I mean, he’s not as dangerous to a girl’s heart as Josh, but something tells me Jagger is a bad little boy in his own right.”

“Josh isn’t dangerous!” I tossed a piece of my popcorn at her.

She gave me a look, accusing me of insanity. “Josh Walker is most certainly dangerous to every single female around him—except for you, that is.”

If she only had a freaking clue. “He is a huge danger to me. Just not in the way you think.” My eyes locked onto his frame skating forward with the puck into AFA territory. “What if I decided he’s worth the risk?” I asked softly.

“Seriously?” Her smile could have lit the arena. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve had in, like . . . ever!”

Giddy excitement raced through me, and in that moment, it was like we were back in freshman year of high school, gossiping about hot boys and skipping class so I could watch Josh Walker play. Except now I knew what his kiss tasted like, what his hands on my body felt like, and I wanted more.

With Josh, I always wanted more.

Watching him on the ice was hypnotizing. I lost my thoughts in the glide of his skates, the turns and switches. Ten minutes of the game passed, and I barely noticed, entranced by his sheer determination, drawn into everything about him. He was relentless, pushing through the defensemen to shoot and SCORE!

We were up out of our seats, yelling and cheering as he lit the lamp and was engulfed by his teammates. “Goal scored by senior forward Josh Walker at eleven minutes twenty-three seconds.” The announcer brought out another wave of cheers.

The crowd died back down enough for me to hear the two girls sitting right behind us. “He’s so fucking hot.”

“I know right? I wonder if we can catch him after the game.”

Ah, yes, puck bunnies. I laughed out loud. He may have been just a hot hockey player to them, but he was so much more to me. They could sleep with him, hell, maybe they already had, but something told me I had more of him than they ever would, and that was without the sex.

Sam giggled, and I knew she’d heard them. Not that they were being overly discreet. A quick glance behind me showed what I already knew: it was Tweedledee and Tweedledum, and they both had his number painted on their cheeks. Then again, I couldn’t get too judgmental. After all, I was trying to catch him after the game, too.

Josh scored one more goal in the third period, and the Mountain Lions won, three to one. From the look of the hugging melee when the final buzzer sounded, he’d be in a good mood. Sam pulled me up the stairs before the puck bunnies could make it out. “You need a head start!” she called over her shoulder with a laugh.

Give Sam a good pursuit of a guy, and she became a female 007, ready to seek and destroy.

We made it up to the promenade as it was filling. “Sam, can I catch you at home?”

She hugged me close with a little more exuberance than usual. “As long as you’re catching Josh Walker!”

I pushed her away with a laugh. What, was I sixteen again? Because it sure as hell felt like it. “I’ll see you later!” With a wave, I ran across the promenade and down the stairs to the locker room entry. There were benefits to my little brother playing hockey in the same arena I was stalking a guy in.

I slipped out the west doors and huddled my jacket to me against the February chill. The path was well lit to the locker room entrance as I hurried along the back side of the arena.

I fell in with a small group of mostly girl fans as we bottlenecked at the door. Guess I wasn’t the only one with this idea. We filed into the hallway, and I snagged one of the only bare spots against the wall. Girls pulled out compacts, checking their makeup or applying more as they giggled about what party would be hot that night, and who had dibs on which player. Josh’s name was called out more than once.

Holy shit. I was hanging out with groupies.

To affirm my guess, Tweedledee and Tweedledum sauntered in and brazenly approached the pimple-faced security guard to attempt to get into the locker room. Although it appeared he highly enjoyed their attempts, he stood his ground.

Atta boy.

Heads turned as the locker room door opened and the first players emerged. Cheers echoed through the hallway, reverberating off the painted cinder block walls. Once those players made it down the hallway, bags of gear slung over their shoulders and a girl on their arm, the others filed out.

It felt like the entire team exited before Josh made his appearance. He nodded to the security guard with a smile and zipped up his black Columbia coat before turning toward us. His hair was damp from a shower, and he rubbed his hands over it with a look so broken I nearly lost it. A quick shake of his head, and a fake smile appeared on his face. The two puck bunnies raced forward, and Josh held out his arms, making room for them under each.

He was certainly no stranger to female adoration.

For a split second I debated running, just taking off and saying to hell with this plan. He looked happy enough, right? He would never lack for a girlfriend; it’s not like not having me was killing him. Yeah. I would just leave.

My grip tightened on the strap of my purse, and I glanced up at him one more time before escape. He was looking at the floor, laughing with the girls as he came down the hallway, but the smile faltered, and I saw it again, the broken part of him that I somehow knew I was responsible for. I had to try to fix it.

“Josh.” I stepped out and said his name so softly I barely heard it over the noise in the hallway.

His head snapped up like he’d been struck. “Ember?” Everything I needed to know was in the curt snap of his voice. Instead of the smile I longed for, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. “What are you doing here?”

I looked at the Tweedle twins, who both threw me mocking smiles. “Can I have a minute?”

He blasted that fake smile at me, which hurt more than anything he could have said. “Not sure.” He kissed one of the puck bunnies on the cheek. “What do you think, ladies? Should we bring Ember along to the party?”

Heather took a peek at my casual jeans, vest, and Henley, compared to her short skirt and shorter neckline, and giggled. “Why not? She looks like she needs to loosen up.”

Josh shrugged. “Come on, if you can keep up, Ember.”

He walked right past me, assuming I’d follow in his wake. Mean, spiteful comments crept up my throat, itching to worm their way across my tongue and out of my mouth, but I choked them back down. Whether or not he was being an ass, it was my fault. I owed him an explanation. He owed me a chance to explain. Right?

The girls giggled as he opened the doors to his Jeep. Tweedledee jumped in the back, and Tweedledum took the passenger side, leaving me behind Josh. He reached in and lifted up his seat. “After you.”

“Josh, really, I just need a minute.” I looked up into those brown eyes and almost forgot what I needed the minute for.

He caged me between his arms, pressing me against the back quarter of the Jeep. “Really? I can think of a lot to do in a minute, Ember. Then again, I bet Riley wouldn’t like to know what I’d be doing with you, would he?”

“That’s what I’m trying to talk to you about.” It took everything in me not to kiss him, to pull his face to mine and make him see. If he’d been irresistible when I was determined to stay away, what would he be like now that I was ready to jump?

He brushed his cheek against mine, his breath tickling my ear, so much warmer than the air. “Maybe I’m not quite ready to hear about how fucking perfect Riley is, and how you’ve forgiven him and worked it all out.”

“Josh—”

He placed two fingers across my lips, silencing me. “You want to talk? Fine. I’ll give you five minutes once I have enough alcohol in my system to hear it. You want it? Get in.”

Our eyes were locked in a silent, heated battle. “Fine.”

He gestured with his hand toward the open door. “Your chariot awaits.”

I swallowed the sarcastic remark that lingered on the edge of my tongue, took the hand he offered, and climbed into the Jeep. He leaned over me, fastening the buckle just like he had the night I’d found Riley with Kayla. I couldn’t fight off my need to touch him and brushed my hand along the bare skin of his neck. He jerked back with a hiss like I’d burned him. His eyes flashed to mine for an instant before he shut my door.

If I still had that kind of effect on him, I had a chance.

Once his gear was stored in the back, he climbed in, and we started the drive up to campus. Catching his reflection in the rearview mirror, I gave myself time to soak him in. His concentration on the road was fierce, but the way he worried his bottom lip between his teeth told me there was more on his mind than traffic. God, I wanted to steal that lip away from those teeth and kiss it free.

When we stopped at a red light a few minutes away from campus, we locked eyes in the mirror. Electricity passed between us, threatening to turn me to ash. Would it always be like this with him? Would this infatuation wear off? Something told me no, and that was scarier than the thought that one day we’d be complacent. If we ever reached a “one day.”

“Josh, which party are we headed to?” Tweedledee asked.

“I figured we’d head to the house, if that’s okay with you ladies.”

The girls squealed. Sweet mercy, they were freaking loud.

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes.’” He chuckled. “Ember?”

I locked onto those brown eyes again and stuck to the plan. No more hiding, no more fighting it. “I want to be wherever you are.”

I felt the girls both turn and stare at me, but I wasn’t letting go of his gaze long enough to acknowledge them. If this was a fight for his attention, I was winning. Period. His breath left his chest in a ragged sound as the light turned green, and he broke our stare.

Three minutes and a lifetime later, we pulled in front of the Kappa house. It wasn’t as packed as it had been for the Snow Bash, but there was still more than a decent showing. People scurried out of the way as Josh sped into his spot, threw the brake, and bolted from the car like he was on fire. The girls climbed down, pulling their skirts to cover their asses as they hit the ground.

“Walker!” his brothers called out from the porch, lifting red solo cups in salute. “Great game!”

Josh gave them a head nod and helped Tweedledee and Tweedledum over the roped markers that separated the parking lot from the sidewalk in front of the house. I climbed over on my own.

With one girl under each arm, he walked up the porch steps. Another set of puck bunnies, this time of the brunette variety, met him at the door. “Josh! We wanted to catch a ride with you!” one pouted, sliding her fingers up his chest.

The urge to hurl nearly overpowered me. Could they be any more pathetic? It seemed like the more desperate they were, the smaller their clothes got. “Don’t worry girls.” A cocky smile made his face less austere, more boyish. “There’s plenty to go around, and I’m feeling good tonight.”

The girls slid up next to him, giving Tweedledee and Tweedledum a run for their money, and exasperation nearly choked me. Who the hell
was
he tonight?

Then I realized, this was the Josh Walker everyone else knew. The one who scored the goals on the ice, and the girls off it. This was the Josh I was warned against, and here I was chasing after him like a naïve freshman again. Five years hadn’t changed much.

My feet hit the first steps and stopped as my hand clenched the thick porch railing. Who was I to call those girls pathetic? Sure, they had on less clothes than I did, but we were all there for the same reason: chasing Josh Walker. He was being an ass, and I was being pathetic.

“You coming, Ember?” The mocking look on his face pushed me over the edge I’d been walking.

He wanted to play games? Fine.

“Yep.” I skipped up the steps ahead of him and headed in the house, not looking back at him.

The house was packed. Speakers blared 50 Cent, and I pushed my way to the pool table, where Jagger leaned over the green felt with a cue. “I need a drink.”

His eyebrows shot up, and he sank the shot. “My pleasure.” He stood, stretching the cue above his head, the movement lifting his shirt to reveal a set of seriously cut abs. But as gorgeous as Jagger was, he didn’t have me desperate to run my tongue up his stomach. “Beer?” He handed his cue off to one of his brothers and walked me to the bar. A minute later, he popped the lid off and handed me a bottle. “You’re a cherry wheat fan, right?”

“Yeah, thanks for noticing.” I offered him a smile, took a long pull of the beer, and leaned back against the bar.

“You’re not exactly dressed for a party.”

A wry laugh bubbled out of me. “Yeah, well, I didn’t know I’d be competing for Josh with the rest of the crowd here.”

His gaze transferred from me to across the room where I knew Josh was already dancing with the bimbo brigade. “You know what you’re doing, there? Josh is . . . Josh.”

I slammed back my beer and peeled off my Henley to just my blue lace camisole, cut low enough to bare my cleavage but not my bra. Catcalls erupted around us. I tossed my shirt on the bar and ran my fingers through my static-ridden hair. Freaking arid air. “That’s better, don’t you think? Dance with me.”