Full Share (14 page)

“What?” she asked.

I blinked and looked away, not even aware I had been staring. “I’m sorry. Seeing you in the full light took me by surprise. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the light in that bar was rather faint and while I knew you were something, I had no idea you were this beautiful.”

“Please…spare me.” It wasn’t just a bitter edge in her voice; it was bitter to the core. Bitter enough to drip on the lift’s deck and sizzle on the metal.

I looked at her out of the corner of my eye. “Spare you?”

The lift opened and we walked out. She was as stiff as a titanium cross-brace. “Spare me, pup, you think I don’t know what you’re doing?” Her voice was raised and a couple on the other side of the corridor looked over to see what the commotion was about.

I looked at her for a long moment. “Perhaps you’d care to enlighten me, Cassandra,” I said at last.

Noticing the curious stares of the people around us, she turned away from the lift and started walking. There’s something about station corridors. You can’t just stand in them. I don’t know if it’s the curved horizon that drags you forward, but she was no more immune to whatever force it was than anybody else I knew. I fell into step and waited. “I have a mirror,” she said bitterly.

“Perhaps you should let somebody check it out. It seems to be reflecting badly.”

“Do you take me for an idiot?” she spat.

“Well, I didn’t up to now, but you may convince me yet.” I was afraid I knew what this was about. I had seen this before and I didn’t know how to deal with it.

“Oh, give me a break!” She turned on me and got right in my face. She was actually about three centimeters taller than me. Not a lot but enough that she could look down. “I’m an old woman! I’ve had more men try to get into my pants than you can imagine. That ‘oh, you’re so beautiful’ line might work on young chickies but you can’t expect it to work on an old bat like me. What do you take me for?”

Gods, she was magnificent. I just looked at her with a smile and noticed that there was a closed shop behind her with a glass window in the door, I caught her arm and whirled her about so she could see her face in that mirrored glass. I never would have been able to move her if I hadn’t caught her by surprise. I pointed to the window. “You’re magnificent. Look at that face!” I grabbed her chin and tilted it to the side. “Yes, you’re older than me, but if the problem is that I’m too young then I can accept that. Truthfully, I probably don’t have much to offer someone like you. But if this is what it means to be an
old woman
then I can’t wait to get old enough to take you on because you’re worth any ten of those
young chickies
that seem to have you so bothered.” I caressed the side of her face and watched the way my hand moved across her cheek and skin, tracing the cheekbone. “Look at that structure. There’s a woman there—somebody who’s worth spending time with.” I slipped my fingers through her hair, still watching her in the mirror and slowly getting a hand full of the softly cropped hair at the back of her head. I gave it a little tug and felt the resistance but also the quickening in her breath. “Look at that magnificent creature. So alive I can barely stand to look at her for fear of her fire.” I released her hair and let my hand slide down her neck as I slipped an arm around her from behind. I hugged her to me so I could reach my mouth up to her ear. “Look at that shape,” I whispered. “That’s the shape of a woman—a fully grown woman, not some half developed child.” I pulled the tails of her coat back and let my left hand trail down her side, cupping her hip bone before moving down the outside of her thigh, smoothing the luxurious fabric. I looked at her eyes in the mirrored glass and said, “That’s what your mirror should be showing you.” I gave her a tick or two to look. “If it’s not what you’re seeing, maybe you need to get your eyes checked.”

We stood like that for several heartbeats and finally she let out a quivery breath, and smiled at me in the glass. “Damn, you’re good,” she said, a little laugh in the back of her throat.

I knew at that instant who she reminded me of. I shrugged and said, “Classical training. Don’t underestimate the value of a liberal arts education.” I had no idea what the phrase meant, but it was something I heard around the house a lot as a kid.

She straightened away from me and I let her go, letting my hands slide across her body in a farewell caress. She turned to me and started to say something, but I stepped in close and kissed her mouth very, very gently. She kissed me back. It was wonderful but in two heartbeats, it was over.

I stepped back to give her room. “You were about to say goodnight, weren’t you,” I said.

She looked at my face for a long moment. “Yes, I was. But thank you for the use of the mirror.” She reached out with one of those long-fingered, cool hands and cupped my cheek in her palm. “It’s the circumstances, Ishmael Wang.”

“I understand,” I said and added, “Captain.”

Surprise splashed across her face. “Captain?” she asked.

“You are a captain of one of the ships docked here, aren’t you?”

“Yes, but I’m not in uniform. Guessing an officer, okay I can get that, but how did you know I was a captain? It wasn’t a guess, was it?”

“No, not a guess.” I turned my mouth into the palm of her hand and kissed it. “You could be naked and I’d still know.”

She caressed my cheek before withdrawing her hand. “Now that’s a line I haven’t heard,” she said, the edge of a grin curling her lips. “I’m half tempted to test it out.”

“Goodnight, Captain. Safe voyage,” I said, then I turned and left her there while I went back to the ship alone.

Breakfast woke me. Rather the need for breakfast did. I had gotten back to the ship early and took the opportunity to go for a long run and relax in a much-needed sauna. I did not know which ship Cassandra was from and it was just as well. It pained me to see her hurting so much. I hoped I’d helped her, but I’d probably never find out.

Pip was on the mess deck and grinned when he saw me coming. “There you are! I saw you more when you were an engineer.” He started throwing together an omelet for me.

I grinned. It was true. “Well, if you weren’t sneaking off the ship through the cargo lock all the time,” I teased him. “How’d the co-op do yesterday? And don’t be so stingy with the mushrooms!”

“It went well. I think they’ve cleared a hundred creds anyway. I missed the final tally for the day, but it was well up there by afternoon. How are you holding up?”

“It’s nerve-wracking,” I told him. “I keep hoping against hope that something will break, but I have no idea what. There are a couple of open berths with other companies out there now, but I can’t see anybody on the crew going for any of them. Unless somebody leaves, we’re full, and I’m surplus.”

“Well, you’re still here now. What are you always saying? Trust Lois?”

“Oh, I do. There’s stuff flying around behind the scenery. I have no idea what, but there’s stuff flying.”

“What are you up to today?” he asked.

“I need to get some sleep. I’ve got the night watch and the last twelve hours on the gangway was hard enough during the day. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like at 03:00 tomorrow.”

“I’ll make sure the urn’s full for ya. You remember where we keep the coffee if you need to make a pot, right?” he teased.

“Funny man. I think I can figure it out.”

He slipped the omelet on a plate and I went to find a seat. I was the only one there which made choosing easy. I just took the first one. Pip came out to sit with me while I ate.

“Where were you last night?” I asked. “I was looking for you to go out around 20:30.”

“Oh, I ran into that pair from the
Alistair
at the flea. Jeanette and Katie?”

“The tag team with the bet from back on Dunsany?”

“Yeah, that’s them. They wanted me to prove it wasn’t a fluke.”

“Tsk! Tough break for you—all that performance pressure.”

“Well, I took it as a complement on my warm and sensitive nature,” he said self-righteously. “And I keep my fingernails clipped. So what do you have planned for today?”

“I’m gonna go up to the flea this afternoon and see if I can find anything to buy.”

“Well,” he said, “don’t get too carried away. My mass allotment is only fifty kilos.”

“Oh,” I suddenly realized a further implication of my leaving. Pip and I had pooled our mass allotments and traded jointly. “How’s the batik going?”

“Very well—we sold about half of it already. Nothing to write home about in terms of profit, but we’ve broken even on the prints already and only sold half so we’re on track to double that. It’s all we can do at this point,” he said.

“Well, that and be ready to jump on any opportunities that come our way.”

“Did you jump on any last night?” he asked with a leer.

“I met someone interesting and we went for a walk. Beyond that, a gentleman doesn’t tell,” I informed him primly.

“Well, I know that. That’s why I asked you.”

We shared a laugh but I refused to tell him any more.

After breakfast, there wasn’t much to do. It was too early for shopping, and I had had my run the night before. I didn’t really feel like studying because I planned on using that to keep me awake during my next shift. So I did what any self-respecting spacer would do. I stripped down to boxers and ship-tee and crawled back into my bunk. It felt horribly decadent and I wondered if I could really go back to sleep. I squirmed a little, nestling down into the mattress and settling my face against the pillow that was still not quite cool from when I had gotten out to get breakfast. The silky stroke of the linen from the pillow reminded me of that smooth, cool, immaculately manicured hand against my face as I dropped back out of reality and into sleep.

Maybe it was the accumulated stress, or perhaps just sleep debt, but I drifted in and out—mostly out—until 16:00. I had vague recollections of quiet conversations in the berthing area. I remembered when I decided not to get up for lunch. The bunk was just too comfortable and I had some very interesting dreams going. It felt delicious, asleep but aware that I was asleep. The one image I carried back to consciousness was of a dolphin swimming in a dark sea, cresting and diving, up into a star-spackled night and down into the velvet deep, the water stroking sensuously across my skin. I woke myself trying to remember some phrase that my mother used to say. “You don’t need to be Ferlingetti to figure that one out.” No, that wasn’t right, but it was close.

“Nice nap?” Sally asked from her bunk across the way. “You certainly look like you enjoyed it.”

There was a teasing lilt in her voice that made me notice where she was looking. “Pervert!” I told her with a laugh, and adjusted the tented covers so my waking condition was not waving in the air.

“Hey,” she said with a grin, “you put something that interesting out there you can’t blame a girl for admiring. Another few ticks and I was going to start selling tickets. I know a few people who would pay real credits for that floor show.”

I chuckled and threw my pillow at her. There was something both intimate and innocent about the whole experience—a sense of a big sister teasing a little brother—something very Lois-like. I wondered if other ships had that, which was like a bucket of cold water down my back, as the realization that I might soon find out sluiced over me. I was able to clamber up out of my bunk without further embarrassment. The chronometer said I had time for a run and a sauna to get pumped up for the night watch, so I took advantage of it.

I presented myself at 17:45 and Fong was waiting. “You have no idea how glad I am to see you!”

“After the other day, I think I have an idea. That chair isn’t all that comfortable.”

“They make ’em that way on purpose to help keep you awake.”

“No doubt,” I replied. “No doubt.”

We performed the requisite incantations to change the watch. “Anything else I need to know?” I asked as we traded places.

“Ms. Avril has the OD. Mr. Maxwell is still aboard. Mr. von Ickles and the captain are both ashore. The captain will probably be back.”

“How bad is the overnight?” I asked and he knew what I meant.

“I actually prefer it. The entertainment value is high and the blackmail opportunities are limitless,” he said with a grin. “Especially for anybody coming back after 02:00.”

He caught me with that and I barked a short laugh. He just waved and headed back into the ship.

When Art came to arrange dinner, I took first because, having missed lunch, I was starving. Cookie had done a lamb and rice dish with banapods and a chilled salad of canned legumes. It was delicious, and I ate quickly. Pip was in the galley and waved but didn’t come over. I could see he was busily cleaning up and remembered too well the opportunity that in-port mess afforded for getting off work a little early, even if you did have to stay aboard.

Art was surprised to see me so soon. “You’re going to regret this,” he said. “It’s a long shift.”

I grinned. “Well, I’ll just have to pester my messenger all night.”

“You wouldn’t be the first one. Seriously, though, just bip me when you want coffee and I’ll bring it out.”