Full Share (Shore House Book 1) (28 page)

The drip from my sink hit the pot waiting to be scrubbed in the sink. I vaguely remembered the eggs I’d boiled in it earlier in the week. The water droplet plopped down, followed by another one. The sound fell each time between us, and I locked eyes with Jack.

He walked past me to the sink. “Leaky faucet?”

“Wow. You are handy.”

“And you are sarcastic.”

Jack didn’t need to put up with my shit.

“Mind if I take a look?”

“Whatever you want.”

Jack removed the never-ending contents from under my sink. The cleaners I rarely used. The brushes and fire extinguisher. He raised his eyebrows at the collection of pillar candles that were covered in dust, and the bag of shells.

He worked in the kitchen while I sat silently on my couch and brushed my wet hair. What was he even doing here? Did fixing my faucet bring him some construction-based solace? I left him alone.

“Fixed,” he said and dried his hands on the dishtowel from my counter. He was satisfied, and I was confused.

“I feel like I should make you dinner or something, but I don’t cook.”

“What do you do?”

I searched my mind for the answer he wanted to hear but forfeited from exhaustion. “I’m an excellent sleeper.” Jack was close, unbearably so. The lack of distance robbed me of my sarcasm.

“Let’s go out.”

“Maybe we should just order a pizza?”

“Tank would want us to do a shot.” Tank would want us to do a shot. He’d want us out raising hell through the streets of Wilmington. “And make love.” My head lowered at his words. The heat welled up in my chest. He’d want me to make love, too. “What? What did I say?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head and moved away from him. “I’ll get dressed.”

I climbed over my bed and reached for my wallet on my nightstand. It had thirteen dollars in it and my gold card. I rolled onto my back and stared at the ceiling of my apartment. “How could you leave me here alone?” I whispered to Tank.

“Let’s go! I’m hungry,” Jack yelled toward my bedroom, and pulled me from my depression. My closet was daunting. I didn’t feel like picking something out. I didn’t want to care about anything.

The off-white maxi dress with the spaghetti straps hung on the end of my closet. I hadn’t worn it since last summer. “I’ll be right out,” I said as I threw the dress over my head and dabbed my lips with lip gloss. I was satisfied with my reflection in the mirror, and even that didn’t feel right. Nothing was going to feel right ever again. Not until Tank came back. Not even to me. Just to Earth.

Jack was reviewing the pictures, magnets, and papers adorning my refrigerator door. He looked up and stared at me without a hint of a smile. He was devastated, too. That was why he wanted to come here. He knew I’d be in the same horrific state as he was. “Recyclables go out tomorrow.”

I could have pulled him to me and held on to him until I’d aged enough to forget what the last eight days felt like. “Thanks.”

“Who’s the dog?” A picture of Rufus lying down in the back of his cage was on the freezer door.

“That’s my friend, Rufus.”

“He looks pretty sad.”

“He was, but he’s better now. He just got adopted from the animal shelter, so he’s going to be fine.”

Jack observed me as if he was filing that piece of information away, too.

We walked to Catherine Rooney’s and ate at the bar. When the bartender took our empty plates away we ordered beers, and Jack turned me in my seat until my legs were straddled by his. I studied the side of my leg touching his. It was exactly where it should be. Jack was here for a reason, and the reason was to be with me. I touched his thigh and closed my eyes.

“Hey. You okay?” He pulled me from my trance, and I realized how loud the bar was and how many people were congregated around us.

“Fine—”

“Please.” He shook his head with his eyes shut. “Don’t say fine. Like, ever again.”

I wouldn’t. Tank would never say fine, and now neither would I. I was going to tell Jack everything, even if I choked on every word, because
I
deserved for him to hear it. “I think Stone hates me.”

Jack shook his head before I got the last word out. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know.” I stared down into my beer. I was sure I didn’t mean as much to Tank as he did to me. I couldn’t have impacted him in a way that would end his life. To think otherwise was ridiculous. “Stone seems to think so, though.”

“Stone’s an asshole.” Jack ran his hand up the side of my thigh. His eyes followed his hand. He was lost in the sight of his hand on me. “And he doesn’t really think that. We’d all seen Tank like that before, and there was never an easy answer as to why. Stone’s just angry.”

“He’s always angry.”

“Yes, but now the rest of us are, too. It’s not his special thing. He’s ramping it up a notch to stay relevant.” Jack and I both laughed at his depiction. “Let’s do a shot.”

Tank would be sitting here with us. He’d be everywhere with everyone. He was the party within the party. Without question, shots would be done in the honor of a proper good bye.

Jack signaled the bartender and ordered shots as I heard my name being called from across the bar. I stiffened in my chair.

“Two things,” I said. Jack turned to watch Ricky storming toward us. “Brace yourself.” I tapped his hand on the bar. “And he’s harmless.”

“I thought you weren’t going out tonight! What are you doing here, and why didn’t you call me?” Ricky stopped to breathe and inspect every inch of Jack. “And who is this?”

“I was too sad to go out.”

Jack regarded me with complete understanding in his eyes.

“Because of your friend who died?”

I nodded. “Jack just showed up. I didn’t know I was coming out. I don’t even want to be out. I just am.” I let my stare linger on Jack. It was as if Ricky wasn’t with us. We were completely alone. Tied by grief and exiled by pain.

“You know, when you look at him,” Ricky began, and I braced myself. “It makes me think you’re not really a lesbian.” Jack dropped his head and laughed. “Or abstinent, or sick with mononucleosis.” Jack was now laughing so hard his shoulders were shaking. “Or blind in one eye.” Ricky huffed and leaned back. “In my country, we don’t lie to the people we love.”

I shook my head. Our shots came, and Jack ordered a third for Ricky as a peace offering.

“What country are you from?” Jack asked Ricky.

“You might have heard of it.” I glared at Ricky. “It’s called Pennsylvania.”

“Oh,” Jack said without blinking as he handed us our shots.

I took a deep breath. “To the greatest guy I ever knew.”

We clinked glasses and downed our shots. Ricky bought us another round to help fill the holes Tank’s death had left in us. He proceeded to tell Jack every detail of how he spent forty hours a week trying to get me to run away with him, or fall in love with him, or just have sex with him.

Jack hung on Ricky’s words as if they were a detailed research paper on Nora Hargrove he had to memorize because he wouldn’t be able to reference it later. Ricky stuck with us and kept our minds off Tank until his eye was caught by a blonde on the other side of the bar.

“I’ve got to go,” he said and shook Jack’s hand. “She’s a liar, you know. Don’t believe a word she says.”

“I won’t,” Jack answered.

“She’s devastated by the loss of your friend.”

“We all are.” Jack rubbed my thigh again.

“But she wouldn’t let me comfort her.” Ricky left us with our own thoughts and silence to deal with.

When I thought it might crush us beneath it, Jack asked, “Do you want to go home?” and I knew he was feeling the same way I was—claustrophobic.

Rain was trickling from the sky when we stepped out of the bar. I shielded my eyes and focused on the street light to gauge how hard it was falling. It was more than a mist, but not driving. I hadn’t even checked the weather since I’d left the beach. What difference did the weather make in the city? Jack took my hand in his and began the uphill walk to my apartment.

After two blocks, the rain intensified. It drove down on us as our path stepped out from under a tree and retreated when we stepped underneath. We ran the last block. Jack didn’t let go of my hand until we were safely under the roof of my front porch.

“You’re soaked,” he said and pushed my wet hair from my face. His hand on my skin set my senses on fire. The sound of the rain surrounded us. Cars drove by with their windshield wipers furiously switching sides. Everywhere his fingers touched felt hot, and the heat spread through me as I watched him.

I wanted him in a way I’d never wanted anyone before. Not even him the weekend he’d kissed me at the shore. Tonight I was desperate to feel something other than loss.

Life is deep, Nora. Dive in.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. Gently. I placed my lips on his and tasted him. I felt his breath. I let my eyelashes brush against his cheek. I inhaled him, and the sensation of Jack replaced the rain around us.

“Give me your key.”

I closed my eyes, wanting to touch him again.

“Nora.”

I searched the bottom of my bag for my key ring. I pulled it out, and Jack took it from my hand. I followed him inside the vestibule and leaned against the wall as he unlocked the door to my apartment. Nothing about it seemed foreign. I hadn’t had a guy in my apartment since Ricky had been too drunk to drive home months ago. He was so far gone he hadn’t even tried to hit on me. Ricky had been an intruder; Jack’s presence was as natural as being alone had become.

My heart beat raced in my chest. I closed the door behind us and locked it.

Jack pressed against the back of me. “Don’t turn on the lights,” he whispered near my ear.

The apartment was pitch black. His words rang through the darkness and sent a chill down my wet back. Jack took my wrists in his hands and raised my arms above my head. He held them there with one hand and moved my hair from the back of my neck with the other. I shivered at his touch.

“Don’t run away.” His words pounded through me.

“I won’t,” I said, breathless. I willed him to touch me again. I could no more leave him than I could imagine my life without him.

He turned me around and lifted me up. Jack held me against the wall, my legs wrapped around his waist. His hard-on pressed against me. I couldn’t breathe. This was really going to happen.

Stop thinking, Nora.

Jack’s lips trailed down my neck to my chest. He pushed my dress to the side and took my nipple in his mouth. I inhaled deeply and let my head fall back against the wall behind me. My starved body responded to his touch immediately. My nipples hardened; my muscles tightened around him. I needed him. Every inch of him.

He kissed me again, and I threaded my fingers in his hair. He was rough, forcing himself against me. I couldn’t pull him close enough. I fisted my hands and fought his tongue with my own. My clothes needed to come off.

He carried me to my bedroom and fell on top of me on my bed. He spread my legs and laid between them. His lips found my neck, and I crossed my ankles behind his back.

Jack yanked his shirt over his head. His bare chest rested against mine as he kissed me again. The light from the street fought the rain to reach inside my window.

I lifted my hips and ground against him. He was everything I’d waited for. I wasn’t going to wait one more minute. His lips trailed down the center of my chest, his hands moved behind my back so he could raise my stomach as his tongue traced my nipple. His touch sent tiny pulses across my electrified skin. My hips thrust against him. Every part of me wanted to touch him.

“I’ve wanted nothing but this since the first time you walked into our room,” he whispered against my skin. “June and July were torture.”

“Jack.” I could barely think. He rose up and kissed my neck. His touch lit me on fire. I had to tell him. I needed him to know. “I’ve never done this before.”

He paused. It was barely noticeable except I was glued to his every movement. “Done what?” His lips were near my ear again. He was lying on top of me, but the majority of his weight was supported by his flexed arms.

“This.” The word was a bell ringing in the darkness. I felt his breathing stop. He lifted himself off me and looked me in the eye as a chill swept down my entire body. I didn’t turn away. I’d let him have me in every way.

“Nora.” He searched my eyes for some explanation, but he already knew. His head shook slightly. I waited as he put all the pieces of the summer together. All the information Ricky had shared. It answered the question of how I’d resisted him this long.

“Take it.” My voice was low. I’d never been surer of anything in my life. “I want you to.”

“Nora.” Jack sat up next to me in bed. He ran his hands through his hair. I’d replaced my own frustration with his. “We can’t do this.”

“Yes, we can.” I climbed off the bed and stood in front of him with my dress hanging from my waist.

“Is this what’s been going on all summer?”

“Yes.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve never told anyone. Except . . .” My gaze drifted away with the longing of our lost friend.

“We can’t do this, Nora. It shouldn’t happen tonight. Like this.”

The rain beat on the only window in my room. It was a beautiful storm, and Jack was here with me in my bed. We were alone, and I needed him more than I needed air. “This is perfect.”

“No.”

“Jack—”

“You’re drunk,” he said and faced me.

I inhaled deeply and let the air out slowly, savoring every particle. I lifted my dress over my head and threw it on the floor next to us. Jack seemed like he was in pain. Before he could protest, I stepped out of my panties. “I’m not drunk.” I willed him to hear me. Jack’s gaze covered every inch of me until he faced me again. I blushed. There was nothing I had left to give him. “I’m begging you.”

He left me standing there as he fought some mental debate. I was willing him to take me, sending every thought I’d ever had in his direction. He held out his hand, and I placed mine in it. Jack pulled me onto his lap, but as I sat down, I straddled him. Without any clothes on, I was sitting on Jack’s lap. I twisted my legs behind his back and moved even closer to him.