Fur Magic Boxed Set: Talisman, Sage, Fawn, Lola: Paranormal Romantic Comedy (2 page)

Chapter 2

Harry Bakerson’s deep, booming voice scared some of the other animals. In particular those that hadn’t had the easiest of lives until they’d been dumped on the doorstep of my angel, Penelope. Really, there was only one canine on the premises that might do for Harry and that was Walter. Letting Pen know my thoughts, I stood in front of the new kid’s kennel and let out a loud meow to get her attention.

“That’s a handsome dog, Penelope.” Harry stopped in front of the metal links and crouched down. I heard his knees creaking in the process, and I hoped we wouldn’t have a man down situation when he decided he needed to rise back up to his full height. “What’s his story?”

Penelope released the latch on the gate in order to let Walter come out and investigate the newcomers. He pushed his wet, black nose right in to Jessie’s crotch, which caused the woman to shriek like she’d been hit with a stun gun. If I had to guess, I’d say that was one cave that hadn’t been explored since the eighties. I shot Walter my most steely glare. The one that said I own this joint, and you’re treading on thin ice. If you want to get adopted, show some manners. Damn dogs and their pig-like ways.

Penelope scratched her head and sighed. “Harry, I just found him today, so I’m not sure. He was running around loose on Bell Road without tags or a collar. As you can see, he’s pretty skinny, so my guess is, he’s been homeless and foraging for quite some time. I haven’t even had a chance to bring him to Dr. Collier for the once over. If you want him, he’s yours, but he’ll need to pass the vet exam before I can let you take him home in good conscience. I’m also not sure if he knows any basic commands.”

Harry snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes. “Kind of like a woman, then?” Harry’s flippant inquiry caused Jessie to squeeze her fat thighs together even tighter.

“I think I like this dog just fine, Penelope,” Harry said. “Does he have a name?”

Penelope smiled and Harry sucked in a breath. I could sympathize. The woman was stunning in every sense of the word. She had that magic that made a man stop in his tracks both literally and figuratively. When she bestowed the grace of her pleasure upon you, time stood still. “I’m so happy he’s going to be your new BDF, Harry. This makes my day!”

“BDF?” Harry couldn’t keep the confusion off his face and his bushy, grey eyebrows were knit together in confusion. And bemusement because Pen still hadn’t stopped beaming.

She laughed and threw her hands up in the air. “Best Doggie Friend, silly. Don’t you watch television or surf the net?”

He chuckled as he stood and Walter solidified his position as BDF by sitting right at Harry’s side in a perfect stay as the man stroked his black head. The new kid was starting to get it. Penelope helps those who help themselves.

“I’m not much for the boob tube, Penelope, and the only net I use is the one I catch fish with when I head back to my home state of Wisconsin over the summer,” Harry replied. “My brother lives on a lake and each year, we putter around it with our trolling motor in search of the elusive Walleye. Can I take Walter home with me now if I promise to bring him by to Doc’s tomorrow to have the old once-over?”

“I think that should be fine, Harry,” Penelope said as she left the group in order to grab a leash and collar for Walter.

Poor kid, he was stuck with the name now. Chip was erased, same as if he'd entered the witness protection program. Then again, the dog was getting out on the first hour of the first day of being here. He was lucky, and by the looks of the way he sucked up to Harry, he knew it.

“Actually, Tali has an appointment tomorrow for his bath and brush at the grooming salon attached to the clinic. I’ll tell Dr. Collier what happened, and that you’ll swing by. I give the clinic so much business, they’ll squeeze you and Walter in.”

Jessie had been silent too long and I noticed her mouth hanging open during the exchange like she’d morphed in to a Venus Fly Trap and was waiting for a tasty morsel to buzz into the gaping hole.

“I can’t believe you’re going to let him have a living creature, Penelope,” she griped. “Don’t you remember the time Blanche Masterson’s pigs got in to her garden and Harry chased them with a shovel?
A shovel
! Those swine were scared half out of their minds. They ended up running straight through Doris Lenore’s prize petunia’s, and then we had a real disaster on our hands. This man shouldn’t be allowed to care for either beast or foliage.”

Harry yanked on the leash that Penelope had just gently placed on Walter, and I saw the new kid’s eyes bulge out with the chokehold. “Woman. Didn’t you listen to Reverend Callahan last Sunday? That long-suffering man’s sermon talked about the power of forgiveness. You old biddies cackling around him each week as you coordinate the volunteer activities probably put him in mind to talk about that very subject.”

Another jingle above the door caused Harry to stop mid-rant and stare at the door. Good grief. How many people were going to disturb my quiet evening? Under normal circumstances, maybe one or two people a week popped in to the shelter without an appointment. Three in one evening was unprecedented. And this new one was nothing but trouble. I hated the bald, skinny man standing in the doorway, so if he turned to the side you might miss him altogether. Elias Stout, the only lawyer in town and major pain in everyone’s ass.

Elias had family dating back to the early settlers of Shadowkeep. His family members were all mere mortals. For as long as I could remember, the Stout’s had been afraid of witches, even the good ones. Because of their irrational fear, they spent all their time trying to expose and persecute anyone with supernatural powers. Many witches had been executed by the Stouts over the years, including Pen’s Great Aunt Tabitha. Elias wanted to ‘out’ Pen and he’d stop at nothing to do it. Pen wanted Elias to fall in to a hole.

“Good evening, Miss DeLacroix,” he muttered as he shuffled in to the room, his loafers sliding along the tile floor. The man may look like you could pull one over on him, but those beady, black eyes noticed everything. “Jessie. Harry. I didn’t expect to see either one of you here tonight.”

The only lawyer around for miles, Elias never left his dingy office without his small paper notebook and pencil stub. People always seemed to stop him and ask for advice, especially bickering couples headed for divorce court. I glanced to his shirt pocket and there it was. Maybe before he died he’d move in to the twenty-first century and spring for an iPad.

Jessie glared at the man in open hostility, and Harry stood to his full height while he puffed out his rock solid barrel chest and stood between Elias and Penelope. Elias had an abrasive way about him, like most lawyers.  He’d offended every resident of their small town at least once. I saw Penelope out of my peripheral vision, and didn’t trust her not to start thinking about spells again, since the geriatrics appeared to have turned their surliness straight toward Elias and off each other. For the moment.

Harry broke the strained silence with his booming voice. “What brings you by to a single lady’s home at this hour, Stout?”

Elias glanced around the shelter as if he were Perry Mason searching for clues, and his gaze finally landed on Walter and the beefy fist holding the leather leash. Pen knew Elias only needed the slightest excuse to start spreading his web of lies. She needed to keep her flailing hands away from her face or I’d have a kitty coronary.

“I didn’t know you had a dog, Harry,” Elias remarked.

“I didn’t. Now I do,” Harry replied.

Harry scratched Walter under the chin but the dog closed his mouth and didn’t move a muscle. Smart kid that Walter. Elias Stout was not to be trusted. Not ever. My fur stood straight on end each and every time he got within ten feet of me. A feline’s intuition was never wrong. The man was bad news and no one was safe when he was around. He had a penchant for throwing stones when he lived in a glass house. I wouldn’t be surprised if he called the psychic hotline at midnight while he watched infomercials and ordered hemorrhoid cream.

“Maybe I should look over the animals up for adoption,” he said as he started to wander up and down the row of kennels that housed the dogs. My friends all shrunk back in the corner as if the protection of their chain-link temporary houses could protect them. Could swallow them whole. “It does get lonely sometimes in my apartment. Of course, I can’t have a dog there, but I can have a cat.”

As he spoke the words, he turned his scrawny body in my direction and speared me with an evil look that caused me to stop dead in my tracks. Penelope must not have cared for it, either, because she bent down and scooped me up so she could hold me close to her chest and cradle me. Normally, I’d snuggle up and start purring, but tonight, I stayed stiff. And I would until Elias left the building.

As the lawyer turned back to the frightened dog in her kennel, an Airedale Terrier named Rita, Penelope gave Jessie a pointed look. The shut up look. I hoped that Jessie was coherent enough to get it and wasn’t suffering from some type of early onset dementia.

“I’m sorry, Elias,” Penelope lied. The words sliding off her tongue like liquid silk. “I don’t have any cats right now. Just dogs … and a goat. I don’t think they’ll allow Billy in your apartment either. I’ll be sure to call you if a cat comes in.”

He twisted around again. Like Gumby except he wasn’t green. “Since I’m here Penelope, I thought I’d run something by you. I ran in to Bianca Chokecherry at the Coffee Cabin yesterday and she told me a very interesting story.”

Penelope continued to stroke my fur, and I stared at Elias with my green eyes. Trying to pierce through to his soul with my powers but finding nothing but a black abyss. Penelope did a good job of keeping her tone light. Elias constantly poked around. Like he knew something. Like he was trying to prove something. Almost like he’d
seen
something.

“Really?” she replied. “What was the story about?”

The DeLacroix and Chokecherry families had been at odds since Shadowkeep had been settled back in the seventeen hundreds. Bianca and Penelope were the same age so they'd been rivals all through school. They still were.

He walked back to the group and stood between Jessie and Harry while he fingered his notebook, but he didn’t pull it out. He wanted to. Something stopped him. The scent of his Eau De Wal-Mart cologne wafted toward me, and stung the back of my throat. I wanted him to scram. Now.

Before he spoke, he rubbed his bare scalp as if doing so would stimulate his hair to grow. Even with hair, he’d still be unattractive. Not that I’m the best judge of male hotness but even Mr. Harry Bakerson with his bushy grey eyebrows, nose and ear hair was more Clooney-like than this troll. And nicer.

Walter had hit the jackpot. Wherever Harry went, Walter would be invited to tag along. Life with a retired sportsman was the perfect life for a dog of Walter’s size and breed. The kid was still standing stock still as if he knew Elias posed a threat to man and dog.

“Bianca said that she saw you outside of Earlywood's grocery. You had some sort of relic in your hand and you were” he paused as if struggling for the right word, “….dancing.”

The way he uttered the word dancing you would have thought he’d said stealing. Or murdering. I can’t remember when dancing was a crime in Arizona. Maybe back in the early 1900’s. Penelope was young. She was carefree. If my owner loved anything, it was moving her curvy body in a sensuous way. Penelope loved life, and she didn’t care who knew.

She stopped stroking me long enough to open her mouth but was interrupted as her best friend since childhood, Amelia Foley, flew through the door. Ami tended to just pop in whenever she had urgent news. Her petite frame was encased in yoga pants and a t-shirt, she started talking and gesticulating with both arms before she even noticed Elias.

“Pen, you’ll never believe who I saw at the library today …,” Amelia trailed off as her eyes finally landed on the man.

Elias couldn’t ever let anything go. Like he was a gun-carrying officer with the fun police. “Ms. Foley, what a delightful surprise. Filling your head full of fantasy and tall tales at the library again? Please, enlighten us. Who was there to cause such a flurry of excitement?”

Chapter 3

Amelia Foley had been Penelope’s best friend since grade school. The same day Robbie Richardson pulled her pigtails so hard Penelope started squealing in pain. Mrs. Buttersmith had her rigid back turned away so Amelia hauled off and smacked Robbie so hard
he
started squealing in pain.
That
, the crabby old second grade teacher had seen, and Amelia spent the rest of recess with her nose pressed up against the plaster wall as she seethed in anger with the injustice of it all.

Since that time, Amelia and Penelope had been inseparable, even though they were polar opposites. Where Penelope was all grace, beauty and kindness, Amelia was all petite, cute, brilliance. And
fire
. Whether it was saving the whales or the local library, Amelia made it her life’s work to stand up for what she believed in. And she believed in a lot.

“Why, Elias,” she said, smiling her best fake smile as she walked further in to the room toward the group. “The new book about how to slow cook a pot roast until the meat is so tender it’s falling off the bone. I read it today and it was so enlightening. I’ve never been much of a cook, but I’ve made it my mission to get better at that. Before I get married.”

As dense as ever, Jessie took Amelia at face value and jumped in. “Amelia, you can come on over to my house any day of the week and I’ll give you some lessons about pot roast. If you’re a quick learner, I might even show you how to roll out my famous pie crust.”

“Woman”, Harry growled, “I've eaten your pot roast at the last church potluck and it would be more satisfying to chew on my shoe.”

Walter sat there stock still sensing the evil energy of Elias Stout. “We don’t want Miss Amelia to copy anything that you’re doing.”

“Why, Harry,” Jessie said, fairly glowing. Standing there under the bulbs of the shelter’s fluorescent lights, she appeared almost angelic. “That might be the nicest compliment anyone’s ever given me.”

Oh, no.

Between Jessie’s ridiculous comments and Penelope’s smug expression it all became clear as mud. She’d cast the love spell on Jessie and Harry while I’d been distracted by Elias. That man had some kind of warped sixth sense about witches. Like his only goal in life was to expose them so he could watch them burn, unable to keep the gleeful expression off his hawk-like visage.

“What?” Harry stammered, his eyes squinted in to tiny little beads of confusion.

That could only mean one thing. Penelope’s spell had gone wrong. Again. Jessie’s feelings toward Harry had turned but the magic had missed Harry’s heart. If only Elias weren’t here to notice the strangeness with his ever-knowing, ever-seeing glare, I’d take delight in watching the fireworks. But for now, we had to get Elias out of the shelter before he started asking questions. Questions about Penelope’s ‘strange’ behavior.

I walked over to Amelia and started my routine of winding around her bare legs in figure eight fashion, purring at the top of my lungs. Once I got her attention, I peered up at her and made my green eyes as wide as possible as I begged for her to lift me. Amelia was sharp and she was my best chance for damage control. We’d been through this before, since Penelope’s powers had been waning in the past few years. Almost like someone or something had been siphoning them right from her body.

“Hi, Tali,” Ami cooed as she wrapped me in her arms.

I stared at Pen and then I stared at Jessie and as soon as my eyes fell on the older woman. Prompted by Jessie’s strange comment, and her current flirtatious expression that normally would be a bulldog-like grimace in Harry’s presence, Ami got it. Another spell had gone wrong. Ami knew that Pen fancied herself a matchmaker and utilized any opportunity to give nature a boost in the direction she felt it should go.

“Do you like pot roast, Elias?” Ami asked in an attempt at distraction because the man’s piercing gaze had fallen on Jessie and perplexity danced across his face before he controlled his expression.

“Why, yes I do, Amelia,” he answered as he brought eye contact back to us.

I continued to stare at Pen. She really didn’t get what she had done and just kept standing there grinning like the village idiot. For a smart girl, she sometimes exasperated me with her lack of common sense. Especially, when that lack cost me one of my lives or caused me to morph in to human form to save her.

“I haven’t had it in quite a while, though,” Elias continued. “Not since my mother passed. She made the most delicious pot roast I’ve ever eaten.”

Harry reached up and loosened his collar, like it choked him, even though it wasn’t that tight. His face had reddened and little beads of sweat broke out across his brow. Jessie inched ever closer to him, and he’d backed up a few steps so that his back was now flush with the metal links of Walter’s former cage. He pulled a red handkerchief out of his pocket and swiped it across his forehead.

“All this talk of pot roast and pie has made me so hungry I feel like a thousand-pound grizzly about to devour an Alaskan salmon,” Harry said. “Come on Walter, we’ll stop for burgers on the way home. Would you like that my new friend? How about a nice greasy hamburger for your first dinner with ole Harry?”

That got Walter’s attention, and he grinned that Labradoodle grin while panting with his salivating tongue, his tail wagging at the speed of a fighter jet. Probably daydreaming of overly processed meat. Some members of the animal world had zero class. I’d rather have pate’ any day of the week. Even if Pen or Ami went through a drive-through while I was in the vehicle, I did not partake of any of that craptastic fare. It was so far beneath me, it probably utilized the fires of hell to cook it.

As Harry left the shelter, the prancing Walter close to his side, Jessie traipsed after him and called over her shoulder, “I’m really hungry, too, Penelope. I'll be back in the morning bright and early to check for any new cats. See you tomorrow.”

Since the threat was over, Elias must have realized that he wouldn’t get any type of concrete proof of Penelope’s powers this evening and he sighed in defeat. “Well, ladies. It’s time to take my leave. If you see anything newsworthy at the library, Miss Amelia, give me a call.”

He walked toward the door and was about to step through when Amelia called out, “Wait, Mr. Stout. You never told us the full story about Bianca Chokecherry.”

He turned then and pierced Penelope with a knowing look, even though his words were directed at Amelia. “Another time, perhaps.”

****

Yummy, yummy, yummy, I’ve got hands on my tummy and they’re made for rubbing me.

I loved to sing my made-up song to myself over and over as I enjoyed my weekly bath and brush. Some say that cats don’t like water or grooming, but hey, I’m Talisman. The feline with powers, with style, with savior faire. I could be the feline to the stars. However, I love a bumbling witch, so I need to stay right where I am so she doesn’t get a stake in the heart. Wait, I think that’s what happens to vampires. My mistake. I must be distracted by the long, magical fingers caressing my limbs.

Penelope’s sitting in the waiting room while I finish up as Walter gets the once over by Dr. Lucas Collier. I like to call him Dr. Luke because I see him so often. The vet has a thing for Penelope and it would seem they’re meant to be except for one huge, important piece of information. Pen doesn’t get it. She’s immune to Dr. Luke’s flirtations. If one could call them that. For someone who’s so handsome, smart and warm, he’s a little bit nervous around the ladies. I’d like to know his story, but he hasn’t let on yet.

Poor guy probably doesn’t want to put himself out there anymore, since every time he does he gets pelted like a bluebird with a pimple-faced boy’s slingshot. Every time he reaches out to Pen in a romantic way, Pen gives him the big shut down. As the luscious warm air of the hair dryer fluffed my long hair, I thought about how I could get Pen to understand that Dr. Luke was in to her and she should go out on a date with him.

It was hard to get it done through gestures and looks. Each time I had to morph to human form, I knew I only had a few moments, because once the light of my jade fades, I go back to being myself. If it goes out permanently, it’s curtains. Also, it’s so physically draining to morph, that I can’t talk when I’m a man either, and it takes everything I have just to do what I need to in order to save Pen and then morph back.

I can’t be sure, but I think Pen has a crush on my human form. She doesn’t know I have the ability to morph. I’ve been told human Talisman is quite the looker with his black hair, green eyes, and brooding demeanor. Of course, who could doubt it? The problem is that I have trouble hearing when I’m in human form, because it’s so hard to make that transition that I usually hear nothing but ringing in my ears. By the time it subsides, I’m back to being a feline. I’ve seen Penelope say things to me and lean in like she wants to hug me, but then I’ll be gone before anything can happen and I didn’t hear her actual words.

Thank God, though. It’s like that scene in Back To The Future when Lea Thompson tries to kiss Michael J. Fox because she doesn’t know she’s his
mother
. I’m okay with a peck here and there, but a woman coming at me with an open mouth in any form creeps me out. Ick and double ick. I love Penelope with every inch of my body, but she’s my owner and will never be my lover.

Trouble is, Dr. Luke should be that man, and because of her teenage fantasy about the dark, handsome stranger that keeps popping in an out, she’s looking for love in all the wrong places. For a witch, Penelope has a lousy sixth sense.  I need to start sleuthing out what’s going on with her lack of powers and lack of good judgement. Those things should be getting stronger as she gets older but they’ve been pathetically weak of late.

“You’re all done, you wickedly handsome man.”

My favorite groomer, Marjean McIntosh laid down the dryer and then gave me a tuna flavored soft treat. Delicious. I always knew I was her favorite.

“You can head on out to the reception area to Penelope, Tali. The door’s open to the clinic.”

Apparently, she knows I’m smart, too, and I don’t need a crazy kitty carrier. My comrades should just calm the hell down. When they hiss, growl, scratch and carry on, it gives all of us a bad and undeserved reputation.

“Oh, Tali! You are the most gorgeous kitty ever to walk the face of the earth,” Penelope gushed as she swung me in to her arms and inhaled deeply of my freshly washed, floral scent.

She was about to carry me outside to the car when Dr. Luke appeared behind the counter holding Walter’s file. He cleared his throat and looked down as if he were fascinated by his expensive, Italian loafers.

“Hi Penelope.”

Pen kept me close to her neck, and we walked toward the desk where, Anne Marie, Dr. Luke’s long time receptionist, had wheeled her office chair out of the way as she pretended to look through the file cabinet.

“Hi, Dr. Collier,” Penelope replied as she blushed red from the roots of her hair to the tops of her manicured toes. Would these two fools ever get out of their own way?

Dr. Luke glanced up and then quickly looked away. Almost like continuing to stare at the woman he’d been in love with for years would cause his eyeballs to melt out of his head.

“Penelope, I asked you to call me Luke, remember?” he prompted. “We’re old friends and you’re my best and most loyal client. With all the business you bring here yourself and all of the referral business, I can’t even thank you enough.”

“I know that’s what you said but I feel so funny calling a doctor by their first name,” Pen explained. “Even if we are … friends.”

Penelope’s voice sounded strained, and she cleared her throat of some imaginary frog that lingered there.

“I’m sure about it, and there’s no need to feel strange. I feel weird when people call me Doctor Collier. That was my dad before he passed away and left me this practice. Please … from now on. It’s Luke to you,” he implored as he handed Walter’s file to Anne Marie. “Penelope, I’ve been meaning to ask you something.”

Oh, God. Here it comes again. The big set-up for the big let-down. I only wish my powers included being able to cast a love spell on these two ignorant morons. Unfortunately, the only powers I possessed were telepathic with other animals and humans and the ability to occasionally morph into human form in an emergency. I can't make humans do my bidding. I glared at Pen, hoping against hope that she wouldn’t break this incredibly perfect man’s heart. Again.

“What?” Pen asked as she started to panic. I could feel her racing pulse and see it as it throbbed in her swan-like neck. “Is it Walter? Is something wrong? Oh, I’d never forgive myself if I gave an ill dog to Harry. I never violate my own rule and let a new owner take a pet from me before it’s been given a clean bill of health. Please Dr. Collier, er … I mean, Luke. Please tell me that Walter’s alright.”

“No, no. Walter’s fine,” he reassured her. “I wanted to know if you wanted to …”

Right in the middle of Doc’s invite, Harry burst through the door with Jessie hot on his cowboy boot-clad heels.

“Doc Collier, I need my dog and I need him now before this old biddy drives me to drink the whiskey I haven’t touched since Prohibition.”