Further Adventures (9 page)

“You better get out of here. If you want something you hafta talk to Carlos.”

“Who’s Carlos?”

“Go ask at the Dime. I can’t talk to you.”

I almost showed her the letter of Authority from her Father but I did not want to spook her or chase her where there was broken glass and the ground so rough. “Will Carlos let me talk to Charmaine?”

“You want Charmaine? If you want a date you gotta talk to Carlos.”

“I’ve got some money for her.”

“I’m Charmaine.”

And I saw a jumpy twitch in her eye for a second it looked like she was going to break the rules but some boy’s Voice broke in very quick from behind.

“Let’s party!”

He came! He saw! He conked me! I woke up face down in the heat waves of that dump I had to spit something sticky out of my mouth it was a Baby Ruth wrapper. From a bird’s-eye view I was just another piece of Garbage shoveled on the stinking heap. But in my Heart where it counted I knew I was 100% different from a empty pizza box to wit I had a memory of Events. I moved a little I felt around I just sank in deeper right where I was lying like a limp salami with my trousers grabbed down & my empty wallet stuffed into my Jockey Shorts.

This Pain creased down my skull it felt like he was trying to scalp me with a broken bottle. Did I yell!

“Don’t be a baby,” Dr. Godfrey commanded me.

“You said it wasn’t going to hurt.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yes you did. You
quack
.”

He dropped his tweezers back in the metal tray he took a step away from me & folded his arms on his chest. “Finish it yourself.”

I fingered around my wound which was still halfway open. He slapped my hand off.

“Now I’ve got to disinfect it all over again.” He swabbed & dabbed me. “They can hear you outside in the waiting room.”

“Will you tell me what the hell I said so I’ll apologize so you can finish what you started here so I can go home for God’s sake?” He handed me a tissue so I wiped off my wet neck then he grabbed it out of my hand before I even
thought
about wiping off my open Wound.

“You called me a quack. Let me tell you Ray if I was a
quack
I would’ve stuck a cotton wad on there covered it up with a piece of masking tape charged you $100 for it then the last word you’d hear from me would be NEXT!”

The examination room door opened a crack & Nurse Peterson poked her head in. “Do you want me to send in the next client Dr. Godfrey?”

“No. I’m not done with Mr. Green’s brain surgery.” By the little downward bend on the corner of his loyal Nurse’s mouth Dr. Godfrey recognized he used a gruff manner on her without meaning it so he made his next words polite & soft. “In a few Minutes Elaine.” He nodded and so she gave back a tight smile & shut the door behind her.

I made Peace. “I’m sorry I opened my mouth.”

“I’m putting in 8 stitches around a cut the size of a nickel. It’s practically microsurgery.” He sniffed and picked up his Tools again. “I just want some appreciation.”

“Like everybody sure. But is it all right if I sound off when I’m in pain?”

“A big boy like you.”

“You said it wasn’t going to hurt.”

“I always say that. If I didn’t nobody’d hold still for treatment.”

I swallowed my Yelp but it snorted out of my nose when he pulled another stitch tight.

“Think Ray. What would be the result if every time I treated somebody I said hold still now this is going to hurt like crazy—? Panic in the streets. I’d go out of business. A stampede of walking wounded out my door. They’d all die of septicemia and gangrene. Then me & my family would starve to death.”

“There’s a price tag to total honesty,” I said in General but I was thinking in Particular. I heard the snip of his scissors.

“There,” he said. “Want to see?”

I sat up I was facing the mirror over his basin and he held another mirror behind my head like in the barbershop. I saw a black circle gentle barb wire there in the shape of a Nickel on top of my head. Maybe it was a ballpeen hammer that bastard kid conked me with. Also I saw I was in strong need of a haircut at least a trim my hair growing like steel wool tumbleweeds over my ears very untidy.

“Did this really happen to you playing shuffleboard?” The doubts in Dr. Godfrey’s Voice had music inside I heard suspicious notes on a organ played very Distant.

“In the quarter finals. The shufflecock ricocheted.”

“You mean ‘shuttlecock.’”

“Shuttlecock.”

“A shuttlecock is badminton.”

“Aha.”

“Somebody belted you one. Don’t be embarrassed about it Ray.” A timid knock patted on the door. “A minute!” he called over and returned to my face with a stare like a Search Light. “It must have been terrible at the time.”

“Humiliation.”

“Pick up your stick. Get back into the game,” he said. “Win one for Flipper.”

I let myself down off the table. “O.K. Coach.”

To the children you give a lollipop to me you give a Pep Talk! I will say when I left your office my cells chimed into agreement with you Dr. Godfrey you were correct about this I had a Strategy on my side. Maybe you would not give me the same kind of Medical advice if you knew I was not going back to play Shuffleboard I was marching back to the sick streets of the East 8th.

Before I made my Exit he clapped me on my back & cheered me on. “Boola boola,” he said.

Nor I was not worried about the danger out to get me. Let them leer & jeer & mock me & think they can get away with it with their ballpeen hammers and trash & filthy behavior let them think I am another defenseless character walking around. THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT THEM TO THINK. How I am not Dangerous is the best part of my disguise.

My Bermuda Shorts being the main item which attracted the curious glances down there so the question riding my mind was how do I fit in Invisible & not stir up the Locals when I go and locate Charmaine again?

The Answer jumped out at me from the garment rack in the Salvation Army Thrift Store. A Garment appealing to me at first sight appeared to be a very well-cut one with sharp creases in the pants diamond-shaped lapels a belt in the back plus pockets all over in different sizes easy to imagine how they come in handy in my work. Also it looked comfortable for any tricky situation I could encounter but most important it was dry cleaned. None of the other ones hanging had this pleasing shade of Emerald Green. The whole thing cost me $4.50 plus I did not have to turn in my Bermudas which I expected.

I am not kidding myself nor I do not want to pay compliments on my own behalf which I do not deserve I have to be Honest here & admit that it was not the unleashed power of my Personality which challenged people I passed by into Silence it was also the color of my Safari Suit. Emerald Green is not a typical color on people’s garments in the East 8
^th
maybe this is a Mexican Catholic state of affairs. Why I do not have a clue as safari suits are plentiful in that Neighborhood going toward the Lucky Dime.

Lo & Behold late in the night I did locate Charmaine she was alone at this time & very shickered on beer. She did not recognize me behind
the green shine of my dry-cleaned suit. She did not cry out nor no kid with a hammer lurked behind me. I showed her the Letter of Authority never mind she wanted 5 dollars so I gave her and easy as a tame pony she walked into my auto.

The Raymobile is my 1963 Ford Country Squire Station Wagon which was my coach & chariot which now lies in a dozen pieces at the bottom of a Canyon in Los Angeles California. Rest In Peace My Dear Friend. That accident was not your fault you got driven to it. I fear the Raymobile will not run again this time it is beyond Redemption and maybe already what parts are not Destroyed by crushing or fire or breakage are removed by the beach bums down that way to use for household items. The Raymobile steering wheel for a flowerpot etc. they do that kind of thing in California I saw & other things on the same line. The Raymobile hubcaps are dinner plates now or a wind chime.

I am greatly sad Folks over the loss of this car right now while I am thinking of it I think it would make a Fond Remembrance of me to my other friend Dr. Godfrey. If I am honest I force myself to say mainly I am sad about the Absence of the Raymobile from the roads because I remember it was my sturdy Companion over the years very reliable except when wet for some reason. Before my trip to the East 8th I left it in the garage behind my apartment maybe it was parked there 6 months since I did not have any business during then that beckoned me farther except a comfortable walk down to the Rexall and the baby aspirins I can carry in my pocket I do not need the cargo space of the Raymobile. It took a few Attempts to fire her up & after some whining & complaints by her she ran very Big Titted indeed.

Now the car is in my thoughts once more I want to put it on the Written Record the fact I was very fond of the metal side panels which were in the form of wood & they made a very pleasant contrast to the pale yellow of the Bodywork. Even better than actual wood since it
dented it did not splinter when hit so on the occasions when necessary it only needed spooning & hammering it did not require any trees to get chopped down Live & Let Live used to be my Motto.

“You kidnapped me.” Charmaine sat up straight in the front seat full of nerve & not so full of beer. “That’s a felony man.”

“Charmaine—”

“How come you know my name? Did I do you?”

“Your papa honey.” She forgot the Letter of Authority so I showed her again. “Kidnap!” I said it very disgusted. “My God look at you. Your arms are like string beans. What are you eating?”

No answer. Plotting her escape. I kept my foot on the gas we hit all the green lights.

“Even a cup of milk once a day. Maybe if you took in more calcium you wouldn’t get any problems with your teeth.”

“My dad knocked ’em out with a frying pan.” She defied me by that Remark & she pushed it a ugly step further. “Better for blow jobs. Want one?”

I forgave her since I believe she was still in shock from the power of being rescued so I did not chastise on top of it. I kept my eyes peeled for the turnoff of the Deauville Trailer Court which appeared on the next sharp turn so I swung the Raymobile around which move did not settle my stomach where I had nervous cramps expanding in me like balloons. The gravel crackled under the wheels I slowed it down when I heard the pebbles snapping up hitting the bodywork.

“I’ll just run away again,” Charmaine told me off.

“Does your papa know anything what you did downtown?”

“Same old same old.”

“What?”

“He hits me and stuff but I don’t get paid for it.”

I pulled in through the chain link gate of the Trailer Court and followed the addresses to Lot 8 but I stopped between 4 and 5 I was not
going to intrude I was going to follow my rules of doing Anonymous Unrewarded Good.

Lot 8 had a long brown shoebox mobile home parked on it. No light on inside except a blue one flickering on the curtains in the back window. By the Evidence I will say it was from a T.V. set. “See that? He can’t sleep he’s so worried over you.” I cut the motor but Charmaine was not in any hurry to Exit she was not in a hurry to go inside.

“He’ll just yell at me.” She hugged her arms around her middle she bent forward she put her head on my dashboard. “He’s going to lock me in the bathroom.” She pulled herself upright & tried to aim toward the window which she accomplished but the window was rolled up. When she heaved her vomit it splashed allover the door but Good Luck was with me for the 2nd time the same night not even a drop went on the carpet. I wiped around Charmaine’s mouth with a clean tissue.

She barely took a breath I know how she felt she had polio of the Feelings. “Why do you think your papa sent me to find you?”

After a second or two she said, “To show off he can do what he wants.”

“I’ll wait till you’re inside.”

She made her little barefoot walk to the door on the side which she banged very loud. When the door opened a square of Light fell on Charmaine from inside she appeared there like a foreign Refugee at the gates of Liberty so I turned the Raymobile around and drove away on tiptoes.

In the rearview I see Charmaine running after me calling out but I do not stop—so far I am a Success with anonymous so now I must skip the curtain call of Gratitude and bow out Unrewarded.

So far so Good.

I went walking down the Sunny Side of the street feeling very good about the prospects of my Life while I remembered the action-packed
Finale of the night before and it was still the Beginning again with so much work ahead. A few days after when I felt better I went and treated myself to a spruce-up from Sal my barber then checked my P.O. Box for further developments.

My barbershop was next door to Bea’s Bakery & it had a smell in there I can smell at night when I close my eyes with my head on my pillow—the hot bread & cookies the butter drifting in the air mixed up with hair tonic & talcum powder. I also enjoyed my visits to Sal because he always had his Radio on tuned to a ball game if a game was on the Air or the 24-hour News both of us being very anxious to stay informed of world events.

“Wow. What happened here?” Sal swung my chair half a turn to display my stitches to his brother Vern.

“Wow. What happened there Ray?”

“Shuffleboard accident.”

Sal swung me back around. “I never knew shuffleboard was a contact sport.”

“It is the way I play it.”

“How’d the other guy look?” Vern inquired.

“The other guy was Mrs. Calusco. On purpose Vern behind the ref’s back.”

“Donny Calusco’s
mother?
She’s 92!” Sal laughed at me.

“There was a lot riding on the game,” I said.

Sal settled down to chopping off the poodle hair hedge around my ears and Vern turned up the Radio for the 12 O’clock News. Sal stopped clipping. “Hey. You hear about this stuff Ray?”

“Tilt your head down Diego,” Vern said to his crewcut Mexican regular & he started to buzz-shave the back of Diego’s neck.

“Wait on’t,” Sal asked him he patted the air meaning the sound of Vern’s shaver.