Fury (29 page)

you’re an idealist trying to be an extremist. You are convinced that your people, if I can use so antiquated a term, have been done down by history, that they deserve what Babur has been fighting for-voting rights, the right to own property, the whole slate of legitimate human demands. You thought this was a struggle for human dignity, a just cause, and you were actually proud of Babur for teaching your passive kinsmen and kinswomen how to fight their own battles. In consequence you were willing to overlook a certain amount of, what shall we call it, illiberalism. War is tough and so on. Certain niceties get trampled. All this you told yourself, and all the while there was another voice in your head telling you in a whisper you didn’t want to hear that you were turning into history’s whore. You know how it is. Once you’ve sold yourself, all you have left is a limited ability to negotiate the price. How much would you put up with? How much authoritarian crap in the name of justice? How much bathwater could you lose without losing the baby?-So now you’re caught up, as you say, in something big, and you’re right, it deserves your attention, but so does this: that you only went this far because of the fury that possessed you all of a sudden in my bedroom in another city in another dimension of the universe. I can’t articulate exactly what happened that night, but I do know that some sort of psychic feedback loop established itself between you and Mila and Eleanor, the fury went round and round, doubling and redoubling. It made Morgen punch me out and it blew you clean across the planet into the arms of a little Napoleon who will oppress ‘your people’ if he comes out of this on top, even more than the ethnic Elbees, who have been, at least in your eyes, the villains of this piece. Or he’ll oppress them just as much but in a different way. Please don’t misunderstand. I know that when people pull apart, they usually employ misunderstanding as a weapon, deliberately getting hold of the stick’s wrong end, impaling themselves on its point in order to prove the perfidy of the other.-I’m not saying that you came here because of me. You were coming anyway, right? It was our big farewell night, and as I remember,

it had gone pretty well until my bedroom turned into Grand Central Station. So you’d have been here, and the pulls and pushes of being here would have worked on you whether I existed or not. But I think that what pushed you over the edge was disappointed love. You were disappointed in me and by me, which is to say by love, by the great untrammeled love you were just allowing yourself to begin to feel for me. You had just begun to trust me enough, to trust yourself enough, to let yourself go, and then suddenly the prince turns out to be a fat old toad. What happened is that the love you’d poured out went bad, it curdled, and now you’re using that sourness, that disenchantment and cynicism, to push you down Babur’s dead-end road. Why not, eh? If goodness is a fantasy and love is a magazine dream, why not? Nice guys finish second, to the victor go the spoils, et cetera. Your system is fighting itself, the bruised love is turning on the idealism and battering it into submission. And guess what? That puts you in an impossible situation, where you’re risking more even than your life. You’re risking your honor and self-respect. Here it is, Neela, your Galileo moment. Does the earth move? Don’t tell me. I already know the answer. But it’s the most important question you’re ever going to be asked, except for the one I’m going to ask you now: Neela, do you still love me? Because if you don’t, then please leave, go meet your fate and I’ll wait here for mine, but I don’t think you can do that. Because I do love you as you need to be loved. You choose: in the right corner there’s your handsome Prince Charming, who also, by a small mischance, turns out to be a psychotic megalomaniacal swine. In the wrong corner there’s the fat old toad, who knows how to give you what you need and who needs, so very badly, what you in turn know how to give him. Can right be wrong? Is the wrong thing right for you? I believe you came here tonight to find out the answer, to see if you could conquer your fury as you helped me conquer mine, to find out if you could find a way of coming back from the edge. Stay with Babur and he’ll fill you up with hatred. But you and me: we just might have a shot. I know it’s stupid to make this kind of declaration when just an hour ago I was stinking of my own shit and I still don’t have a room with a doorknob on the inside, but there it is, that’s what I crossed the world to say.”

“Wow,” she said, after allowing a suitably respectful moment of silence to elapse. “And I thought I was the big mouth on this team.”

She fished a heat-softened Toblerone bar out of her purse and Solanka fell upon it greedily. “He’s losing the men’s confidence,” she told Solanka. “The boy who helped you out tonight? There are plenty more like him, maybe as many as half the total, and for some reason they whisper to me. Kbuss
puss, khuss puss.
It’s so sad. ‘Madam, we are decent persons.’ Khusspuss. ‘Madam, Commander Sahib is acting strange, isn’t it? ‘Khusspuss. ‘Please, madam, do not mention my thoughts to anyone.’ I’m not the only idealist around here. These kids didn’t think they were going to war to flatten the earth or abolish the hours of darkness. They’re fighting for their families, and all this green-cheese material unnerves them. So they come to me and complain, and that puts me in a very dangerous place. It doesn’t really matter what advice I give being a second focal point, a rival center, is quite dangerous enough. One rat-one mole-is all it would take, and speaking of toads, yes, I do love you, very much. Meanwhile, what I saw on the outside before I brought the team in here was an army that’s pretty sick of being a laughingstock. My information is they’ve been talking to the Americans and the British. The rumor says that the marines and the SAS may already be in Mildendo, in fact, I’ve been feeling pretty foolish for weeks about running out on you like that. There’s a British aircraft carrier just outside territorial waters, and Babur doesn’t control the military airfields on Blefuscu, either. The truth is I’ve been thinking for a while now that it’s time to leave, but I don’t know how Babur will take it. Half of him wants to fuck me on national television and the other half wants to beat me up for making him feel that way. So now you know the real reason why I’ve been wearing the mask: it’s the next best thing to putting my head in a paper bag, and you came all this way for me and walked into the lion’s den. I guess you must really dig me too, huh. I’m working on an out. If I can get the right Fremen in the right places, I think it can be done, and I have contacts in the army that can at least get us out to the British boat or maybe a military plane. In the meanwhile I’ll make sure you get looked after. I still don’t know about Babur, how far gone he is. Maybe he thinks you’re a valuable hostage, even though I keep telling him you’re not worth the trouble, you’re just a civilian who blundered into something he didn’t understand, a little fish he should throw back into the sea. If you don’t kiss me soon, I’ll be forced to kill you with my own bare hands. Okay, that’s good. Now stay put. I’ll be back.”

In Athens the Furies were thought to be Aphrodite’s sisters. Beauty and vengeful wrath, as Homer knew, sprang from the self-same source. That was one story. Hesiod, however, said that the Furies were born of Earth and Air, and that their siblings included Terror, Strife, Lies, Vengeance, Intemperance, Altercation, Fear, and Battle. In those days they avenged blood crimes, pursuing those who harmed (especially) their mothers-Orestes, long pursued by them after he killed bloody-handed Clytemnestra, knew all about that. The
leirion,
or blue iris, sometimes placated the Furies, but Orestes wore no flowers in his hair. Even the bow of horn that the Pythoness, the Delphic Oracle, gave him to repel their assaults proved to be of little use. “Serpent-haired, dogheaded, bat-winged,” the Erinnyes hounded him for the rest of his life, denying him peace.

These days the goddesses, less regarded, were hungrier, wilder, casting their nets more widely. As the bonds of family weakened, so the Furies began to intervene in all of human life. From New York to Lilliput-Blefuscu there was no escape from the beating of their wings.

She didn’t come back. Young men and women attended to Solanka’s daily needs. These were some of the weary, immured fighters who, fearing their own leader, Babur, as much as the enemy outside the compound walls, had gone to their dark Aphrodite for advice; but when Solanka asked about Neela, they made dumb don’t-know gestures and went away. “Commander Akasz” didn’t show up, either. Professor Solanka, forgotten, washed up on the edge of things, dozed, talked aloud to himself, drifted into unreality, lurching between daydreams and panic attacks. Through the small barred window he heard the noise of battle, growing more frequent, coming closer. Pillars of smoke rose high into the air. Solanka thought of Little Brain.
I’d have set his house on fire. I’d have burned his city down.

Violent action is unclear to most of those who get caught up in it. Experience is fragmentary; cause and effect, why and how, are torn apart. Only sequence exists. First this then that. And afterward, for those who survive, a lifetime of trying to understand. The assault came on Solanka’s fourth day in Mildendo. At dawn the door of his cell was opened. There stood the same taciturn young man-now carrying an automatic weapon, and with two knives stuck in his belt-who had so uncomplainingly cleaned up his mess a few days earlier. “Come quickly, please,” he said. Solanka followed him, and then it was into the labyrinth again, the bleak interconnecting rooms with masked fighters guarding the way, approaching each door as if it were booby-trapped, turning each corner as if an ambush lurked just beyond; and in the distance Solanka heard the inarticulate conversation of battle, the chatter of automatic rifles, the grunts of heavy artillery, and, high above it all, the leathery beating of bat-wings and the screeches of the dog-headed Three. Then he was enclosed in the service elevator, manhandled through the ruined kitchens, and pushed into an unmarked, windowless van; after which, for a long time, nothing. High-speed motion, alarming halts, raised voices, the motion renewed. Noise. Where was that shrieking coming from? Who was dying, who was killing?
What was the story here? To
know so little was to feel insignificant, even a little insane.

Thrown this way and that in the hurtling, swerving van, Malik Solanka howled aloud. But this, after all, was a rescue. Somebody - Neela? - had decreed him worthy. War erases the individual, but he was being saved from the war.

The door opened; he squinted into the blinding daylight. An officer saluted him-an exotically mustachioed ethnic Elbee wearing the absurdly braided uniform of the Lilliputian army. “Professor. So happy to see you safe, sir.” He reminded Solanka of Sergius, the stiff-backed officer in Shaw’s
Arms and the Man.
Sergius, who never apologized. This fellow had plainly been assigned to chaperone Solanka, a task he fulfilled briskly, marching ahead like an overwound toy. He led Solanka into a building bearing the insignia of the International Red Cross. Later there was food. A British military aircraft was waiting to carry him, along with a group of other foreign passport-holders, back to London. “My passport was taken,” Solanka told Sergius. “None of that matters now, sir,” the officer replied. “I can’t leave without Neela,” Solanka went on. “I don’t know anything about that, sir,” Sergius said. “My orders are to get you on board that aircraft double-quick.”

All the seats on the British plane faced toward the tail. Solanka, taking his allotted chair, recognized the men across the aisle as Neela’s cameraman and sound recordist. When they stood up and embraced him, he knew the news was bad. “Unbelievable, mate,” the soundman said. “She got you out, too. Amazing woman.” Where is she. None of this matters, your life, mine, he thought. Will she be here soon. “She did the whole thing,” the cameraman said. “Organized the Fremen who were sick of Babur, contacted the army on shortwave radio, arranged the guaranteed safe-conducts, the lot. The president’s out. Bolgolam, too. That bastard tried to thank her, called her a national heroine. She cut him short. In her own eyes she was a traitor, betraying the only cause she ever believed in. She was helping the bad guys win, and it killed her. But she could see what Babur had become.” Malik Solanka had grown very still and quiet. “The army got tired of the jokes,” the sound engineer said. “They called up all reservists and dusted off a lot of old but still serviceable pieces of heavy artillery. Helicopter gunships from the Vietnam era, bought secondhand from the United States years ago, ground-based mortars, a few small tanks. Last night they took back control of the compound perimeter. Still Babur wasn’t worried.” The cameraman indicated a silver box. “We got it all,” he said. “She arranged incredible access. Just incredible. He never believed they would use the heavy stuff against the Parliament building, and certainly not while he was holding his hostages. He was wrong about the building. Underestimated their determination. But the hostages were the key, and Neela turned that lock. The four of us came out together. And then there was the whole second route, which she set up just for you.” After that nothing was said. The terrible thing hung between them like a fierce light, but it was too bright to look at. The soundman began to cry. What happened, Solanka finally asked. How could you leave her. Why didn’t she run with you, toward safety. Toward me. The cameraman shook his head. “What she did,” he said, “it tore her apart. She betrayed him, but she couldn’t run. That would have been desertion under fire.” But she wasn’t a soldier! Oh God. God. She was a journalist. Didn’t she know that? Why did she have to cross that goddamn line? The soundman put his arm around Solanka. “There was something she had to do,” he said. “The plan wouldn’t have worked if she hadn’t stayed behind.” “To distract Babur,” the cameraman said, dull-voiced, and there it was, the worst thing in the world. To distract him: how? What did that mean? Why did it have to be her? “You know how,” the soundman said. “And you know what it means. And you know why it had to be her.” Solanka closed his eyes. “She sent you this,” the cameraman was saying. Helicopter gunships and heavy mortars, authorized by the freed President Golbasto Gue, were blasting holes in the Lilliputian Parliament. A bomber shed its load. The building was exploding, crumbling, on fire. Dirty smoke and clouds of masonry dust climbed high into the sky. Three thousand reservists and frontline troops assaulted the complex, taking no prisoners. Tomorrow the world would condemn this ruthless action, but today was for getting it done. Somewhere in the wreckage lay a man wearing Solanka’s face and a woman wearing her own. Not even Neela Mahendra’s beauty could affect the trajectory of the mortars, the bombs like deadly fishes swimming downward through the air. Come to me, she murmured to Babur, I am your assassin, the murderer of my own hopes. Come here and let me watch you die.