Fuzzy Logic (33 page)

Michael smiled at Jan. “I think my first marketing suggestion may be to get this driveway graded. I can feel the suspension of my car crying out in agony.”

“Yes, my only advice is to go extremely slowly and try to dodge the biggest craters.” The car slammed into a pothole. “Like that one.”

“Sorry about that.”

“It’s your car.” If Michael was moving to Alpine Grove, he was going to have to get used to bad roads.

“I may need to trade this thing in before I move. I’m guessing winter driving isn’t going to be better.”

“Not usually. But the snow does fill in the holes.” Turning them into miniature skating rinks.

Michael pulled the car up near the house. Maria and Kat were outside examining something in the yard. Maria was wearing tight spandex pants and heels. She shook her finger at Kat. “I think we should squish it. That thing was on your head. When you were
in the house
.”

Kat cringed and shook her hands in front of her in disgust. “So gross. So gross.”

“Are you guys okay?” Jan asked as she walked up to them. It looked like they were doing some kind of rain dance with lots of waving and pointing.

Kat pointed at the insect that was crawling around on the ground in front of them. “That...that
thing
fell off the ceiling and landed on my head. Then it was crawling on me. I am
so
grossed out right now.”

“She went screaming out that door.” Maria inclined her head toward the house. “It wasn’t pretty. I think Joel mighta blown a gasket, he was laughing so hard.”

Michael crouched down to get a closer look. “That is one big beetle. What is it?”

Jan bent to examine the insect. “It’s a Western Conifer Seed Bug,
Leptoglossus occidentalis
or WCSB. They’re very common around here. In the fall, they tend to move inside to find a place to winter over. They’re harmless, but produce a piney odor when provoked, so sometimes they’re confused with stink bugs.”

Kat shuddered. “Oh my God, they’re moving
inside
?”

The insect buzzed loudly and took off toward the trees. Maria shrieked and Kat ran away from the bug toward the house.

Jan looked at Michael. “I guess I provoked it. Would you get the dogs?”

“Sure.” He turned to walk back to the car, his feet crunching through the leaves.

After the bout of mild hysteria, Maria had composed herself and was checking her own hair for insect life. She leaned her head toward Jan. “There isn’t anything in there, is there? Now I have bug paranoia. I hate that.”

Jan peered at Maria’s mop of dark hair and pushed a few curls around. “I don’t see anything. I think you’re fine.”

Kat waved from the relative safety of the steps. “Sorry about that. It’s nice to see you again. Do you want to come inside?”

Michael approached with Swoosie and Rosa on leashes. “Thanks.” Rosa was walking sedately and Swoosie was trying to tie a square knot around Michael with her leash. He bent to try to extricate his left leg from the leash.

Jan said to Maria, “I don’t think you’ve met Michael.”

Maria extended her hand to Michael. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you from Jan.”

Michael stood and shook her hand. “Nice to meet you too.” Swoosie was trying to yank him toward the house. “I think Swoosie is excited.” He turned to follow the dogs up the steps.

Maria turned to Jan, gave her a nudge, and whispered. “Damn, girlfriend, you weren’t kidding. He really is just smokin’ hot.” She fanned her face with her hands.

Jan blushed. “Yes. I, ah, think so too.” Her skin’s tendency to turn crimson at the slightest provocation was annoying. The last couple of days since Michael had returned to Alpine Grove had been better than she could have ever imagined.

Maria and Jan went into the house and they all settled inside around the kitchen table. Michael had brought treats to keep Swoosie’s attention so she wouldn’t sneak off and try to eat the house. The dog sat with her chin on his leg, hoping for a handout.

Kat said, “Thanks for coming out here to help me. I really need to name this as-yet-unbuilt kennel so I can board dogs. I am
so
not experienced with anything marketing-related. In fact, I purposely avoided anything to do with marketing when I was a technical writer.” She turned to Michael. “I read about brainstorming and it turns out I’m terrible at it.”

Michael smiled. “It’s not a big deal. The main thing is to get a lot of different people together, so you get a wide range of ideas. You have to consider all of the ideas, even if they don’t seem like they make sense.”

“Even if they’re stupid?” Maria said.

“No matter how weird or off-the-wall something is, you are supposed to write it down.” Michael said. “Sometimes a bad idea will spur another better idea.”

“Can we drink wine?” Maria asked. “I’m pouring, and after seeing that bug, I need a big glass. It was prehistoric. Like a tiny six-legged
tyrannosaurus rex
.”

“None for me, thank you,” Jan said. Never again.

Kat held her pen in the air. “Okay. I have a notepad and I’m writing stuff down.”

Michael looked at Kat. “So what image do you want the name to convey?”

Kat bent and put her forehead on the table. “You’re asking me questions? I didn’t know there was going to be a test.”

“How about words that reflect what you want people to think of when they are bringing you their treasured family pet?” Michael paused and stroked the fur on Swoosie’s head. “When I brought Swoosie to doggie boot camp in San Diego, I was looking for a place that was reliable, professional, trustworthy, and so forth. See what I mean?”

Kat raised her head. “That’s good. I’m trustworthy. I didn’t lose Rosa, anyway.”

“And she was an escape artist!” Maria said. “That dog is wily.”

“That’s reassuring,” Michael said. “Jan may be going with me to Russia, so I wanted to see if you’d be up for taking care of Swoosie, too.”

Jan shook her head. “No, I am
not
going to Russia.” She had done quite enough traveling for a while.

Michael looked at her. “She’s thinking about it.” He turned to Kat. “Swoosie is a lot more, ah, difficult to take care of than Rosa.”

Kat looked over at Swoosie, who still had her head on Michael’s leg. The dog wagged and smiled. “She looks adorable right now.”

“Swoosie has an eating disorder,” Jan said.

“I’m sorry. Is she okay?” Kat said.

Michael smiled. “Jan means that Swoosie eats everything. Whether or not it’s edible. So let’s get back to the brainstorming. How about saying the first dog-related words that come to mind? I’ll start. Hound, dog, woof, tail, wag, bark, puppy, paws, canine.”

Maria said. “Cujo!”

“I think scary dogs may not be what Kat is after here.” Jan said.

Kat said, “I prefer happy dogs, thanks. Not rabid ones. I think that might attract the wrong clientele.”

Jan said, “Happy Hounds, Hound Haven, Happy Tails, Wagging Tails, Puppy Paradise.”

“Hey, you’re good at this.” Michael said. “Some of those aren’t too bad.”

Joel nudged Kat, who was furiously writing down names. “At least
someone
is good at this.”

Michael said, “How about the kennel aspect? In San Diego lots of pet businesses include the words resort or spa, for example.”

“I think this is more like camping out.” Maria said. “In a leaky tent.”

Kat glared at her. “Hey, we’re working on it. It’s more like a bed and breakfast.”

Jan said, “Or a bed and biscuit?”

“Exactly.” Kat nodded. “We’ve got trails, too. Tails and trails.”

Michael crossed his arms on the table. “Do you want to include any local reference? Many businesses include the name of the town or are named after some geographic feature like a mountain range.”

“I already came up with Alpine Grove Dog Boarding.” Joel said. “It was deemed too boring.”

Kat said, “But what if we do grooming? Then it doesn’t work, anyway.”

“That’s a good point.” Michael said. “You might want to keep it general. Do you want to include your name?”

“Kat’s dog boarding is just a recipe for confusion,” Kat said. “My last name is Stevens which sounds like an accountant’s name. Blech.”

After another hour of questions and brainstorming, Kat had many naming options to ponder. She waved her notepad in the air. “I’ve got ideas. I totally owe you some free dog-boarding now!”

Michael smiled. “We might take you up on that.”

Jan shook her head. “Not immediately, though. We have a lot to do to get Michael moved here and settled before winter arrives.”

Kat gave both Jan and Michael a hug goodbye. “Thank you both.” She bent down to pet Rosa and Swoosie. “It was good seeing you two, as well. You behave yourselves.”

Chapter 15

A
fter Jan and Michael drove home and fed the dogs, they were sitting on the sofa relaxing. Jan was leaning against Michael, reading the remnants of her library book.

“Your dog ate the ending of this mystery. I’m never going to find out what happened.”

Michael bent to kiss her neck. “I’m afraid your dog participated. Buy a new one.”

“The library book budget is being cut again. The board of directors wants to divert money to add computers. I think Jill may cry if they put more computers in the building. And she’s already mad at me for taking so much time off.”

Michael put his book down and cupped her chin with his hand to turn her head to his. “Speaking of time off, why won’t you go to Russia with me? It’s only for two weeks.”

Jan turned around to face him. “I can’t. It’s too much time. I should be working and getting organized. There’s so much to do to get you moved up here. You are going to sell your house and that means finding a real estate agent and listing it and pricing it. There are forms that will have to be signed. And when it sells, there’s organizing movers. Going through stuff. Deciding what to keep and what to give away. And you need an office here. So that means looking at office space. More real estate agents and rental agreements. And I have to work. It’s just too much.”

Michael smiled and stroked her cheek with his knuckles. “You have 49 lists already. It will all happen. You don’t have to have it all figured out right now. Come with me. We just agreed that we can’t stand being a few hours apart. I certainly don’t want to spend two weeks on the other side of the world without you.”

Jan shook her head. “I shouldn’t. I really shouldn’t.”

“Who says?”

Jan rolled her eyes. “Oh please. You sound like a ten-year old.”

“You say that a lot, but I know you think it’s endearing.” He grinned and then kissed her. “I mean it. Who says you shouldn’t go? Why are you should-ing all over yourself? Think about all the fun people-watching we could do. It could be incredible. Can you imagine? And I promise I’ll keep you away from the vodka.”

“You’re very kind.” Just the word vodka gave her a twinge in her stomach.

Michael looked into her eyes. “You could really help me on this trip. You were great at brainstorming at Kat’s. And I’ve told you before that you are a one-woman research department. I don’t think you understand how ad agencies would kill to have access to your encyclopedic knowledge. Just come with me. Take a chance. It could be fun. The library will still be there when we get back.”

Jan kissed him. “I will admit you have given me a new appreciation for fun. But I have responsibilities.”

“This is only the beginning of fun. We had fun in San Diego. We had fun here in Alpine Grove. There’s no reason we wouldn’t have fun in Russia, too. Fun is good. You should try it more often.”

Jan bit her lip. “I can’t leave Jill all by herself at the library for two weeks. I shouldn’t just up and leave like that. Again. It isn’t fair to her. She’s already angry about all the time I’ve taken off.”

“Don’t librarians ever take vacations? Get sick? There are substitute teachers. Are there substitute librarians?”

“Well, yes. But like I said, the budget is being cut. I don’t think there is any money to hire a substitute. I’m not sure it will work out.” Although maybe some new graduates might be interested. She would have jumped at the chance a few years ago. Maybe she could make a few calls.

Michael smoothed a curl back from her forehead. “Tell the library big-wigs you’ll give the substitute your vacation pay.”

“What? Give them money? My money? I can’t afford to do that.”

“I can. Or more precisely the client can. They pay me. I pay you. You pay the sub. It all works out.”

“You’d do that?” She took his hand in both of hers. “Really?”

He tilted his head. “Of course. So you’ll go?”

Jan looked into his eyes. She was out of excuses. Now it was a matter of trust. So many years of avoiding her mother’s out-of-control lifestyle had made her afraid of spontaneous decisions. But being with Michael had shown Jan that she could do things that scared her, like dancing the merengue in front of a crowd or riding a horse on a beach through crashing ocean waves. Nothing bad happened. In fact, it was great. Going to a foreign country was scary. But she trusted that Michael wouldn’t drag her into something she’d regret. So there was no reason
not
to go to Russia with him.