Authors: Andrea Smith
“Love of a Lifetime” by Firehouse
“The Search is Over” by Survivor
“You are so Beautiful” by Joe Cocker
(Lindsey & Taz’s Wedding)
“Viva La Vida” by Coldplay
“Rolling in the Deep” by Adele
“Set Fire to the Rain” by Adele
“Where Does My Heart Beat Now” by Celine Dion
“Drive” by The Cars
“We’ve Got Tonight” by Bob Seger
“Wrecking Ball” (Cover) by Madilyn Bailey
“Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton
“Night Moves” by Bob Seger
“[Do - Do - Do - Do] Heartbreaker” by Rolling Stones
“Fuck Me Pumps” by Amy Winehouse
“Unbreak My Heart” by Toni Braxton
“Second Chance” by Shinedown
“All of Me” by John Legend
(From my home town of Springfield, Ohio!!!!!)
prologue
~ Darcy ~
I was on my way to Darin’s apartment to surprise him. We’d met a year ago tomorrow, Christmas Eve, making that
entire
year feel like Christmas. Darin officially graduated from the FBI academy in Quantico last month. He would now be given assignments as an “agent” instead of carrying the title of “agent trainee” with the FBI. He was stoked and so was I.
I was trying to finish up my degree program on-line from the University of Virginia in Charlottesville. It made it so much easier pursuing it while living at home with my parents in Georgetown, making it possible to be closer to Darin.
On-line classes were definitely not a cakewalk. I was forced to study more than I had before when attending classes on campus, but it was well worth it to be able to spend as much time as possible with my G-Man, Darin.
I had talked to him earlier in the day. He had been out on post-graduate field practice for covert operations. That’s all he could tell me—or would tell me. He said he was going to shower and crash. We would see each other tomorrow for a celebratory one-year anniversary dinner date with a major fuck-fest scheduled afterwards.
I guess I should admit that I’m rather spoiled. I’m not a big fan of delayed gratification. My man and I hadn’t seen each other in nearly a week as I finished my finals for the semester, turning in the remaining essay projects for my classes.
As an only child from a somewhat wealthy family, I suppose I can blame my parents for my penchant for “instant gratification.” It’s true. They’d denied me nothing over the years and now I’d come to detest having to wait for anything I wanted badly. Right now, I wanted Darin Murphy between my legs, so there was no stopping me.
I was totally decked-out in “fuck-me” couture, having shopped the entire afternoon with my BFF, Lindsey Dennison. Linds had been through the wringer over the past year as well, but for entirely different reasons. Our shopping trip was supposed to be for Christmas and not trashy lingerie, as Lindsey so eloquently pointed out.
Actually, it was through Lindsey and Taz—or I should say Trace Matthews, that I’d had the opportunity of meeting Darin a year ago. So much had happened to both of us over this past year. Mine had been great; Lindsey’s had been pretty fucked-up, at least for the first half of the year.
I was so happy for Lindsey now. She’d just had a beautiful baby girl with Taz, another G-Man in D.C. and an agent that Darin really looked up to. He said Taz was one of the best special agents in the bureau. He loved being on assignment with him. Lindsey was entirely wrapped up in her new baby girl, Harper. She deserved that happiness and, in some ways, I was a bit envious, I admit, but I certainly didn’t begrudge her that. She’d been tortured nearly to death by a crazed student on campus that was in to all kinds of evil. Taz had literally saved her life.
I pulled my car over to the curb in front of his apartment complex. The winter darkness was descending as I walked up the concrete walk to the door of his townhouse. My heels clicked against the hard surface of the cold cement and echoed in the quiet tranquility of the complex. My heart did a major flutter as I saw lights on in his apartment. Darin was likely still awake, probably watching something on his flat screen in the bedroom before he fell asleep. That was his habit. He wouldn’t be grumpy for long when I took off the belted trench coat I was wearing and displayed the sexy outfit underneath. I giggled silently at the thought of what he would do to me when he did.
I could hear soft music from the stoop as I pulled the key he had given me to his apartment a few months prior out of my coat pocket. I wanted to boost the effect of the surprise. He was probably stretched out on his massive, leather couch, dozing off to one of his music satellite channels.
I slipped the key into the lock noiselessly and slowly opened the front door, stepping inside quietly…ready to rock my man’s world. Nothing prepared me for what I saw taking place on his leather sofa once I was inside.
Darin’s ass was up in the air. I watched as he plunged his dick inside someone beneath him over and over again. Whoever it was underneath, was moaning and digging her painted fingernails into the skin on his back. I didn’t realize until his movements suddenly stopped that I was screaming. Yep. I was screaming loud, vulgar things. At both of them.
“You rotten, mother-fucker! You whore-hopping son-of-a-bitch!”
Probably not my finest moment…but hey, I really didn’t care about that at the time.
Darin was up and off of her in a flash, his still-hard cock cloaked in a festive condom. It was then I saw the chick he’d been fucking so furiously, perched on her elbows, glaring at me as if she had the right to be indignant at my untimely interruption. It was Dee-Dee or “Dirty Diana” as she was better known throughout the bureau. Yes, a female FBI agent, whose slutty reputation for doing all the dudes in the bureau was evidently notorious. Darin had joked about it with me many times, appalled at her total disregard of her professional reputation. Now he was doing her. Fuck me.
Time seemed to go in slow-motion as my brain sorted it all out. Darin was frantically groping around for his jeans that lay on a heap of clothing on the floor next to the sofa.
I flung the key to his apartment at her, watching it bounce off of her forehead and land on her bare crotch.
“Here slut, have at it!” I screeched. I turned to Darin and in the
calmest tone possible
hissed, “I hope your cock rots off.”
I stumbled out of his apartment, wet tears now streaming down my cheeks, as I tried to run in the stupid, four-inch heels I’d purchased earlier for this special occasion. I wasn’t having much luck. I stopped momentarily to remove the heels, giving Darin just enough time to catch up to me on the sidewalk. He had managed to pull his jeans on for the chase, but nothing else.
“Whoa, Darce, hold up there, baby. It’s not what you think.”
Not what I think? What the fuck?
His hand reached for my shoulder, turning me to face him. I immediately clawed at him with the heel of my shoe, gouging his still-bare shoulder over and over again with it. He didn’t even flinch.
“Baby, please? It didn’t mean anything, I swear to God! It just happened. It has nothing to do with you or how I feel about you.”
“How can you say that?!” I screeched.
“I’ll make her leave, we’ll talk it out,” he pleaded. “I love you, Darce.”
“Fuck you, Darin,” I hissed. “It’s over. We are done. Don’t ever call or come around me again. Do I make myself clear?”
I looked up into his dark eyes and saw the tears welled up in them. Too fucking little, too fucking late. He started to reach for me again, but something in my eyes must have registered with him because he stopped and drew back. My tears had dried up. All I felt was coldness in them now as I directed an arctic glare at him. He felt it too, taking a half-step back from me.
“Do I?” I repeated, my voice having a steely edge to it that even I didn’t recognize.
He nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. The realization had hit him with full force. I watched as the comprehension sunk in. Darin Murphy had fucked up in a big, big way. No one, I repeat,
no one
breaks Darcy Nicole Sheridan’s heart. It’s just not done.
chapter 1
The flight attendant in first-class roused me from my sleep gently.
“We’re preparing our initial descent into Belize City. I need for you to bring your seat into the upright position and fasten your seatbelt now.”
I kind of wanted to kill her. Just a little. I settled for smiling at her and obliged, groggy as I was, to comply.
It was Christmas day in Belize. I was relieved to be spending it in another country, not back in the U.S., where everything had imploded as far as my love life was concerned. My parents were spending the holidays in Cancun. I had quickly decided to get away, only not with them. I was not up for the pummeling questions I knew would be forthcoming if my mother and father knew what had happened with Darin. I barely had the strength to make the last minute call to Lindsey, seriously not in the mood to go into the details with her at the moment. I was just too raw.
She’d freaked like I knew she would when I simply told her that it was over with Darin and me and that I wasn’t going to provide any details to her at the moment. I told her I’d booked a flight to Belize, leaving Christmas Eve morning; I’d discuss everything with her upon my return. She wasn’t happy. She’d attempted to pry, but I told her I needed to get packed and quickly ended the call.
As soon as I walked into the terminal, I collected my luggage and arranged for a ferry to San Pedro. I was booked at a beach-front villa at the Grand Colony. My parents had taken me there after my high-school graduation. I remembered how totally beautiful it had been; the beautiful blue water and white, sandy beaches. And that was something I desperately needed right now.
I could forget about everything, being thousands of miles away from D.C. I could forget the pain and betrayal of what Darin had done to me. If I had to, I’d drink myself into oblivion to forget. Of course, I’d be drinking fancy, tropical drinks delivered to my villa by a very hot, sexy Belizean dude.
Is “Belizean” a word?
Anyway, all I really wanted was the ability to numb myself from the hurt and betrayal I was trying to deal with. It was a first for me. I’d never been broken. I was always the breaker never the breakee. This was new ground for me.
After I was settled into my beach-front villa, I opened all of the shutters to enjoy the warm sunshine trickling in and the soothing, salty, ocean breeze. I stood at the open window and reveled in the tranquility of this extraordinary place on earth. I hoped it would help to heal my broken heart, at least for now.
My phone rang from somewhere in my handbag. It was probably my parents calling from Cancun to wish me a Merry Christmas. I fumbled around until I found it. Sure enough, it was Mom. I knew she’d worry if I didn’t answer and commence blowing my phone up until I did.
“Hey, Mom,” I greeted, making sure to put my game face on and throw in some fake, red-and-green cheer. “Merry Christmas!”
“Darcy, what’s wrong?”
Shit.
“Nothing’s wrong, Mom. What could be wrong? It’s Christmas,” I reassured her with a grin plastered to my face, hoping like all hell that the explanation for my “Worst Breakup of the Year” award wouldn’t break through my lips.
I totally cracked 2.5 seconds later.
For the next ten minutes, I shared the whole story with her, including the fact I was in Belize alone on Christmas. I told her I needed to be alone right now.
“Nonsense, darling,” she argued. “Your father and I’ll change our plans and join you in Belize tomorrow. Where are you staying?”
“I’m at the Grand Colony in San Pedro.”
“Wonderful, darling. I’ll call you back once our plans are firmed up. Stay put, okay?”
Where the hell would I go?
“I’ll be right here, Mom.”