Gabriel's Redemption (Gabriel's Inferno Trilogy) (43 page)

“Don’t call in a favor for that. I might need his help with something else.”

“Like what?”

“Katherine thinks I need to take a maternity leave. She wants me to speak to Cecilia about it.”

Gabriel stroked the arches of her eyebrows with his fingers.

“And what do you want?”

“I have to talk to Cecilia. But I was hoping to wait until I’m in my second trimester. Most mis—” She caught Gabriel’s eye and stumbled over the word. “—problems occur in the first trimester.”

“If you want to take a maternity leave, you should. If you don’t want to, you don’t have to. I’m going on leave regardless. After the paternity leave, they owe me a sabbatical. I could be home with the baby for two years.”

“Isn’t there some rule about not taking a leave and a sabbatical back to back?”

“Probably.” Gabriel began caressing her lower back. “But I have it written into my contract that they give me a sabbatical the year after next. It was part of their job offer.”

“I’d hate to see you waste your sabbatical,” she said quietly.

His hand rested in the hollow of her lower back.

“What part of spending time with the baby would be wasted?”

“You won’t be able to finish your book.”

“I’m sure I’ll have time to write. Even if I didn’t, it would be worth it. Talk to Cecilia and see what she says. But whatever you do, don’t worry. I made promises to you, and I intend to keep them.”

Julia smiled. “That’s the only reason why I’m not freaking out.”

He gazed at her intensely. “Good.”

Chapter Seventy-four

April 2012

S
o, Julianne, what can I do for you?” Cecilia Marinelli ushered her graduate student into her office, gesturing to a comfortable chair near the large desk.

Cecilia was just under five feet tall, with bobbed dark hair and blue eyes. She was from Pisa, originally, and spoke English with an accent.

“I came to ask your advice.” Julia began wringing her hands.

“Ask.” Cecilia gave Julia an encouraging look.

“Um, I’m going to have a baby.”

“Congratulations! This is good news, yes?” Cecilia switched to Italian, smiling widely.

Julia answered her in Italian. “Yes. Very good news. Uh, but I’m due in September, right at the beginning of the semester.”

Cecilia shrugged. “Then you take maternity leave and return the next year.”

“I don’t want to fall behind in my program, so I’m not going to take a maternity leave.”

Professor Marinelli shook her head. “This is not the best idea. Normally, in your third year, you would teach in the fall and take your linguistics course plus another class. Then you would write your general exams in the winter. Since your baby comes in September, I think your teaching and coursework would have to be delayed until January. Then you will be studying for your exams at the same time. This is too much.” Cecilia’s tone was not unkind.

“I didn’t realize that.” Julia’s voice sounded shaky and small.

“You do what you like, but certainly, I would take maternity leave.”

“Really?”

Cecilia sat back in her chair for a moment. “It will be too much for you to put all these things in one semester. Your colleagues will have the advantage of you in their general exams. And you cannot fail. So, to make things fair, you take maternity leave for one year. Then, you teach and take your classes the following September, and take your exams in the winter. Yes, you will be behind a year. But you are a good student. I think you will catch up when you are writing your dissertation. It will be better to be behind a year than to realize midsemester you cannot do everything.”

Julia’s heart sank as all her plans fell to pieces. Frantically, she searched for another solution.

“Aren’t some of the courses offered in the summer?”

Cecilia noted her student’s reaction and switched to English. “No, I’m sorry.”

Julia’s hands twisted in her lap.

“It’s just that Gabriel was going to take a leave from BU so that I wouldn’t have to.”

“Gabriel? With a baby?” Cecilia laughed, chattering to herself in Italian.

(Apparently, she found the thought of the Professor looking after a baby highly amusing. In this, she was not alone.)

“This, I did not expect. But it shows he will be a good father, yes? If he is willing to help. But Gabriel’s leave doesn’t solve the problem of the schedule. It isn’t realistic to think you can have a baby, then return to class the next day. God forbid you have complications and need to take time off before the baby is born.”

Julia winced. “I hadn’t thought of that, either.”

Cecilia smiled patiently. “This is why we have advisors, to offer advice and maybe a little caution. My advice is to take maternity leave. You won’t lose your place in the program or your funding. If you want, I can give you a reading list for your dissertation prospectus and you can work on that while you’re on leave. You could also work on your other languages. But let’s not be too ambitious. And there’s one more thing, but you must promise to keep it secret. Professor Matthews is waiting to make the formal announcement.” She switched back into Italian, as if that language afforded them more privacy.

“Of course.” Julia responded in Italian, looking at her supervisor with interest.

“Professor Picton has decided to come to Harvard.”

“Really? That’s wonderful.” Julia’s heart leapt with joy.

“Yes, it is. She’s committed to stay in Oxford one more year, then she will arrive next September, when you return from maternity leave. I cannot speak for her, but I believe she would be a reader on your dissertation. This is very good news for your project.”

Julia smiled as the wheels began turning in her mind.

“So,” said Cecilia, reverting to English once again. “I won’t tell you it will be easy, being a mother and a student. But you can do it. Please give Gabriel my congratulations. I’m happy for you both.”

Julia thanked her professor and exited the office.

When Julia arrived home for dinner, Gabriel was sitting on a bar stool at the kitchen island, reading the newspaper.

He immediately dropped the paper when he saw her.

“Why, hello, beautiful. How was your day?”

“It was okay.” Julia put her messenger bag down on the floor and sat next to him at the island.

“What’s wrong?” He placed his hand at the back of her neck and gently pulled her close so he could kiss her. “Are you ill?”

“I have good news and bad news.”

The edges of his lips turned down. “What’s the bad news?”

“Professor Marinelli said I have to take a maternity leave.”

“Why did she say that?”

“Since the baby is due in September, she doesn’t think I should register for courses in the fall. The way the schedule is, it would be too much if I tried to cram the third-year requirements into the winter semester. So she thinks I should just take the year off.”

Gabriel rubbed at his chin. “I’d forgotten about how busy the third year is. What do you want to do?”

“What can I do? I have to take a maternity leave.” She put her elbows on the counter.

“Julianne, you can do anything you want. If you want to take classes after the baby is born, we’ll make it work. You’ll just have to take incompletes while you catch up on what you’ve missed.”

“The graduate school doesn’t like students taking incompletes.”

“No, they don’t. But they allow it, in certain circumstances. I’m sure they’d allow it in this case.”

“Then I’d be playing catch-up while studying for my general exams.”

“That’s true. Just because Cecilia thinks it might be challenging doesn’t mean it will be impossible. As I said before, I will make this work. I promise.”

Julia looked up at him, at his warm and earnest expression. “You will make this work?”

“Of course. But I’m not going to tell you what to do. You decide and I’ll speak to Greg, if necessary.”

“No, I’ll talk to him. But—” She paused.

“What?”

“I need to tell you the good news. Cecilia said that Katherine is coming to Harvard.”

Gabriel’s mouth opened in astonishment. “What? I had an email from her last week. She never mentioned anything.”

“Apparently, she’s staying at Oxford next year and coming to Harvard the year after. That’s another reason why Cecilia thinks that a maternity leave is a good idea—Katherine will arrive when I come back.”

“That’s great.”

“It is. But—” Julia shook her head. “I don’t want to take a maternity leave, but I’m worried about failing my exams.”

“You won’t fail.”

“I won’t be in tiptop shape either.”

“Then we’ll get you into tiptop shape. You’re going to have Rebecca and me here to hold the fort. You can study for your exams and do what you need to do.”

“I want to be a mother, too,” she whispered. “I don’t want to ignore the baby.”

“I’m sure you can find a balance.” He kissed the top of her head before crossing over to the refrigerator. He retrieved a bottle of ginger ale and quickly poured it over ice in a tall glass.

He handed it to her. “You don’t need to decide right now. Register for the fall and if you feel like you need to drop the courses or take incompletes, you can.”

“I don’t want to start something and not finish it. I certainly don’t want to risk failing my exams.” She looked up at Gabriel, a worried expression on her face. “I don’t want to be an absent mother, like Sharon.”

“You won’t be like her.”

Gabriel looked down at the marble-topped island and traced a pattern on its surface.

“Truthfully, I don’t know what to expect when we have the baby. But as I said, I’m taking leave regardless.”

“Cecilia mentioned that she could give me a reading list for my dissertation prospectus. I could work on that while I’m on leave, along with my languages.”

He lifted his head. “I’m sure the baby will be delighted to learn about Dante and also to be able to do more than just curse in German.”

Julia laughed and wrapped an arm around his waist. “I think I’d be missing out if I didn’t take part of a maternity leave. Who knows what kind of mischief you and the baby will get into?”

“Oh, you can be sure we will get into all kinds of mischief.” He winked. “And there is a strong possibility that shenanigans and hijinks of various sorts will also occur, with regularity.”

“Perhaps you and the baby will need me.” Julia glanced at him.

Gabriel’s eyes locked on hers.

“Of course we’ll need you. But I’ll make it work if you can’t be here.” He brought the backs of his fingers to her face and gently stroked her cheek. “If you take maternity leave, we could spend part of the year in Umbria.”

“Really?”

“Or Oxford, or Paris, or Barcelona. You name it.”

“Selinsgrove?”

Gabriel pulled back. “Of all the cities in the world, you want to go there?”

“That’s where your family home is. That’s where my family is. It might be nice to be close to Diane. She could give me advice and we could schedule play dates.”

“We can talk to her on FaceTime from Europe.”

“The orchard is there.”

Gabriel traced his thumb across Julia’s lower lip and sighed. “Yes, the orchard is there.”

“I’ll look into registering for the fall and if I can’t go back after the baby is born, I’ll drop the classes. Then I’ll go on maternity leave for the winter semester and start studying for my general exams.”

“That sounds like a good plan. Katherine will be here by the following September.”

“We can have the baby at Mount Auburn Hospital, and decide from there where we want to go. I’m not sure about taking a newborn on a transatlantic flight.”

“Hmm. I hadn’t thought about that.”

Julia wrapped her arms around his waist. “We haven’t thought of a lot of things.”

“Ah, but I have a book.” Gabriel reached over to pick up a copy of
What to Expect When You’re Expecting
that was sitting nearby.

“Make sure to mark the place where it talks about transatlantic flights and the likelihood of writing a book on Dante’s concept of Hell while caring for a baby. I’d be interested in reading those sections.”

He tossed the book aside. “Very funny, Mrs. Emerson.”

She pressed herself against him. “If we go to Europe, we’ll be able to visit some museums.”

“That we will.”

“We’ll be able to tango against the wall.”

“We’ll have to bring Rebecca with us if we ever want to have a tango in a museum again.” He pressed an openmouthed kiss to her neck.

“Museums aren’t as accommodating as they used to be.”

His eyes shone.

“Except for our last visit to the Uffizi.”

Now she was blushing.

“That’s what I want for our next anniversary.”

“What? A museum?” He smirked.

“No. Another tango against a wall.”

“Shall we try the Louvre next time?”

Julia felt her insides flame. “That sounds promising.”

He kissed her neck, fluttering his lips against her skin. “We have a lot of good things to look forward to, Mrs. Emerson. But I think we both need to read that book.”

Chapter Seventy-five

Selinsgrove, Pennsylvania

Y
ou’re
what
?”

A pile of silverware slid from Rachel’s fingers, clattering onto the kitchen island. She stared openmouthed at her best friend.

Gabriel had his arm around Julia as they stood in the kitchen of the Clark family home. Scott, Tammy, and Quinn sat on stools nearby, while Richard and Aaron were deep in conversation near the stove.

“I’m pregnant,” Julia repeated, her eyes searching Rachel’s face.

The room fell silent.

“But, but, I didn’t know you were trying. I thought you were going to wait,” Rachel sputtered.

“The news was unexpected but not unwelcome.” Gabriel pressed his lips to Julia’s temple.

“That’s great news, Julia. When are you due?” Tammy interjected.

“September.” Julia’s hand curved over her slightly protruding abdomen. “We told Dad, Diane, and my uncle Jack last night.”

“I think this calls for cigars. I’m very proud of you both.” Richard shook Gabriel’s hand and clapped him on the back before kissing Julia’s cheek. “It will be nice to have another baby around. Quinn and Tommy will have a new playmate.”

“Exactly.” Tammy followed, hugging Julia, and so did Scott.

Julia looked over at her best friend apprehensively. “Rach?”

“I—” Rachel suddenly closed her mouth. She looked as if she were about to burst into tears.

Aaron wrapped an arm around her shoulders. He murmured something in her ear.

“I’m happy for you,” Rachel managed. After a moment, she embraced Julia and Gabriel together. “I am. I’m happy for you both.”

Julia’s eyes began to water.

“I think we should give the girls a minute. Isn’t there a game on?” Aaron jerked his thumb toward the living room, where the wide-screen television was located.

Tammy, Quinn, and the men quickly retreated, leaving the best friends alone.

“This is a surprise.” Rachel sat on one of the bar stools. “Was it an accident?”

Julia chewed at the inside of her mouth. “Gabriel doesn’t want us using the word
accident
. He doesn’t want the baby growing up thinking he wasn’t wanted.”

“Of course not!” Rachel appeared horrified. “I didn’t think of it that way. I’m sorry.”

“But, uh, clearly this was unexpected, because we were planning on waiting.”

Rachel’s eyes trained on her friend’s.

“It must have been a shock for you. Are you all right?”

“I was upset at the beginning, but Gabriel has been great. He’s really excited and his enthusiasm is infectious. Rebecca moved in with us, so she’ll help with the baby. I’ve decided to take a maternity leave, and Gabriel is going to do the same.”

Rachel snorted, resting her forearm on the top of the island. “Gabriel is taking a maternity leave? I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“Well, it’s a paternity leave. It’s available to him and so he’s going to take it. They owe him a sabbatical anyway, but he’s deferring it.” Julia sat on the stool to Rachel’s left. “We’re even talking about moving here for part of the year, after the baby is born.”

Rachel’s gray eyes grew soft. “Dad would love that. Have you told him?”

Julia shook her head. “We were waiting until we told everyone we were expecting.” She glanced in the direction of the living room. “Gabriel is probably asking him right now.”

“Dad won’t say no. Will Rebecca come too?”

“I haven’t thought that far ahead. But it would be a bit ridiculous for one little baby to require three adults to supervise him.”

Rachel regarded her friend. “You haven’t been around babies much, have you?”

“No.”

“You might need Rebecca to keep up the house and to cook for everyone.” Rachel stared at her fingernails. “You and Diane will be able to commiserate about motherhood. We’ll come home for weekends. The baby will be surrounded by family.”

“That’s what we wanted. I’m sorry about the timing. I know you and Aaron have been trying and I feel so—”

“Don’t.” Rachel forced a smile. “I’m happy for you. And I’m going to be the best damn aunt I can be. I’m hoping, someday, you’ll have the chance to be the same to mine.”

“Me, too.”

Julia smiled, a sympathetic sadness twisting in her insides.

That evening, Aaron stood in his wife’s childhood bedroom, which was still decorated with the awards and trophies she’d won in high school. He held her in his arms as she sobbed into his chest.

He felt helpless. He felt impotent.

“Rach,” he whispered, rubbing her back.

“It’s so unfair,” she managed, her hands fisting his shirt. “They didn’t even want a baby! Jules was going to wait until she graduated. I can’t believe this is happening.”

Aaron didn’t know what to say. When Julia announced her good news, he was envious, but not to the degree that Rachel was. After a year of trying to conceive, she was battling depression. He didn’t want to feed it by focusing on the unfairness of life and raising existential questions that might never be answered.

“I know you’re upset, but I need you to calm down.”

“I want my mom.” She pressed her forehead into his shoulder. “She would know what to do.”

“As much as I loved your mother, she wasn’t a miracle worker.”

“But she could give me advice. And I’m never going to see her again.” A fresh round of sobs escaped Rachel’s chest.

“You know that’s not true,” he whispered, rubbing her back once again. “This was a shock, but we have to get over it. People around us are going to have children. You don’t want this to come between you and Julia.”

“It won’t.”

“That’s my girl. So no tears tomorrow.” He pulled away, his face marked with concern.

“I can do that. I gave an Academy Award–winning performance earlier. I wanted to cry as soon as she told me.”

“I don’t want you to act, Rachel. I want you to appear to be okay and I want that to be the truth.”

“But I’m not okay.” She sat on the edge of her bed.

“I want to talk to you about that.” Aaron joined her on the bed. “Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, I’d like us to start thinking about what we have. We have our jobs, we have a nice place to live, we—”

“We have fertility treatments that aren’t working.” Rachel cursed under her breath.

“There are other options. We’ve discussed this.”

“I’m not ready to give up.”

“We don’t have to give up. But maybe we should just relax for a while. Take a break.”

“Take a break?” She peered over at him curiously.

“Stop the fertility treatments and forget about having a baby. Just for a while.”

She crossed her arms around her middle. “No.”

He took her hand in his. “I think the pressure is getting to you.”

“I can handle it.”

“No, baby, you can’t. I know you like I know myself. And I’m telling you, you need a break. We need a break.”

“We’re supposed to try the fertility treatments for a year. We can’t stop now.” Her chin began to wobble.

“Yes, we can.” He brushed his lips across hers. “We’ll talk to the doctor when we’re back in Philadelphia. Then we’re going to take a long vacation. Gabriel promised he’d lend us their house in Italy. We can take some time and just be a normal couple again.”

“What if this is it? What if we can’t . . .” She couldn’t bring herself to say it.

“Then we’ll start looking at other options.” He placed his arm around her. “Whether or not we have a baby, we have each other. That’s something, isn’t it?”

She nodded.

“We need to take care of each other. And I’m not taking care of you if I let you continue like this.”

“I feel like a failure.” Rachel wiped her face with the back of her hand.

“You aren’t,” he whispered. “You’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. I would love to have a family with you but not if that journey is going to break you. I’m sorry, but I don’t want kids that much.”

Rachel looked at him, surprised. “I thought this was important to you.”

“You come first. You’ve always come first.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I want the woman I married. Once we get back to that, then we can start talking about kids again. Okay?”

Rachel was silent as she contemplated what he was proposing. She closed her eyes, and it felt as if a great weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Suddenly, she felt as if she could breathe again.

“Okay.”

Aaron pulled his wife into his arms. “I love you.”

Down the hall, Julia leaned her hip against the bathroom vanity, watching Gabriel brush his teeth.

“Your father is proud of us for having a baby.”

Gabriel nodded, as he continued brushing.

“That means he’s proud of us for having sex and you for impregnating me. Do you think they make T-shirts for grandfathers that express those sentiments?”

Gabriel made a strangled choking noise before he began spitting into the sink.

“Are you all right?” She tapped on his back. “Can you speak?”

He responded with more spitting and then raucous laughter.

“T-shirts,” he managed, placing his hand on the counter to support himself. “How do you come up with this stuff?”

“It wasn’t me who said it. I don’t think anyone has ever told me that he’s proud of me for having sex. My dad was happy for us, but he didn’t say he was proud.”

Gabriel deposited his toothbrush in the holder before straightening.

“I did.”

They exchanged a look.

“Yes, you did.” Julia smiled to herself. “Uncle Jack seemed happy, when I told him. But he was acting weird on the telephone.”

“What did he say?”

“He congratulated me, but he also gave me a lecture.”

Gabriel’s eyebrows lifted. “About what?”

“About my need to protect myself and the baby. I assured him I was doing so and then he asked me what you were doing to protect us.”

“And what did you say?”

“I said you were very attentive and that you were coming with me to all my appointments. He muttered something about that not being enough.”

Gabriel frowned. “Did you respond?”

“I asked him what he was worried about, but he kind of clammed up on me. Do you think something is up with Simon and Natalie?”

“I doubt it. If something were in the works, he’d tell us about it.”

“Maybe.” Julia shook her head. “He promised me he’d keep an eye on us, and I told him I’d welcome whatever help he could give us. It was a very strange conversation.”

“Your uncle Jack is a strange person. Maybe he’s decided to beat up Greg Matthews in order to ensure that you get a maternity leave.”

“Professor Matthews already authorized it. I don’t need Uncle Jack’s help with that.” She smiled and exited the bathroom.

She stood by the window, looking out into the starless night.

Gabriel could see the outline of her body through her old-fashioned linen nightshirt: her long slim legs, her rounded hips and bottom. He switched off the lights and stood behind her, his talented fingers lifting and toying with her hair.

“Your conversation with my sister was difficult, but she took the news well, I thought.” He linked their hands together, bringing their connection to rest over where their child was growing.

“She and Aaron have been trying for so long and we weren’t and boom! We’re pregnant.”

Gabriel chuckled and rested his chin on her shoulder. “It wasn’t quite like that. There was divine intervention.”

“Do you really believe that?”

“You don’t?” His body tightened.

“I do, I just feel guilty. It seems unfair,” she whispered.

“Perhaps we need to do a better job of supporting them. I’m sure this is hard on both of them.” He kissed the nape of her neck, pressing his chest to her back. “Did you ever tell her how we met?”

“No. It was too precious and too painful to talk about.”

“And now?” He pressed her.

“I like the fact that it’s our secret. Your family is wonderful, but I don’t think they’d understand. My father would come after you with a shotgun.”

“Point taken.”

He began to drag his fingertips over her scalp, touching her gently, when she suddenly flinched.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I forgot about your scar.”

“It’s all right. You only startled me.”