Game of Queens (20 page)

As Amestris led me forward, a golden flame seemed to advance from the second gate. My bridegroom. The cloth-of-gold robes he wore burned like the fire itself. Behind the king came the Seven Princes. One of my mother's lessons had been to memorize the names and virtues of each of the Seven Princes; now that I was to marry the King of Kings, that knowledge at last became useful. But today all the Seven looked alike: clad in elaborate robes banded in white and blue, fringed in silver and gold. Today they were not important. Only the king, only my bridegroom, captured my eyes.

Amestris stopped, and I stood before the Sacred Flame and looked upon Ahasuerus's face for the first time. He had dark eyes and dark hair and he stared at me as doubtfully as I stared at him. Then Amestris reached out and took his hand, and set my hand into it.

His hand was cold. I wondered if he were as nervous as I.

*   *   *

A great feast was held to celebrate our wedding and our wedding night. Banners of white and blue and green silk draped the great banqueting hall; gold and silver ropes twined about the tall pillars. Hundreds of tiny lamps hung on bronze chains transformed the ceiling to a sky of bright flickering stars. From dusk until dawn the palace glowed in the light of a thousand torches and echoed the sounds of laughter and easy talk, for a royal wedding did not end until the sun rose upon the new-made husband and wife in their marriage bed. In the best of weddings, a prince followed nine months after that first sunrise.

Our bedding was a farce, of course—or say, rather, a ceremony so old that it held more force than mere law: it was the custom. Custom did not care that neither of the two most involved could act out the parts custom dictated for them.

“Now you must not worry yourself over this bedding, child,” Queen Mother Amestris told me as seven handmaidens prepared me for the king's bed. “You will simply sleep beside Ahasuerus tonight, and tomorrow your union will be proclaimed to the empire.” She smiled at me, and stroked my pale hair.

“And then what?” I asked.

“Don't you remember what I promised you, my dear child? Then you may do whatever pleases you. You have all the Queen's Palace to play in, and you have only to ask for whatsoever you desire.”

Whatsoever I desired! I still shivered with pleasure at the mere thought. No more days spent in quiet obedience.
Ever.
Queen Mother Amestris had said so, and her words made wishes truth.

She laughed, softly. “Yes, I see you will be happy here—that is all I want for you, Vashti. Happiness.”

Since I wanted to be happy, I had no fault to find with this. Then, as I began to dance with joy, Amestris ordered me to stand still. “For if you fidget so, you will never be ready for the king's bed. Now stand still, my beautiful new daughter, and let your handmaidens make you more lovely than you already are.”

I obeyed her honey-voiced command, reveling in her praise. I was beautiful. I was queen. I was to do whatsoever I wished, and I was to be happy. Easy commands to follow!

*   *   *

When the seven handmaidens finished their work, I wore a gown so sheer I might have been clad in water. All the gems and ribbons had been unwoven from my hair, and the braids that had taken so many hours to create had been undone. My hair had been combed out with sandalwood combs until it shone like moonlight down my back.

My face had been washed clean of all the bright paint. All my jewelry—the earrings, the necklaces, the armbands and bracelets, the bangles about my ankles, the pearl-strung chains about my feet—had been stripped away. My bare feet had been freshly tinted; I looked as if I stood in blood.

After all the finery, the rich garments, the ornate creation I had been during the wedding ceremony, this seemed drab. “Am I still beautiful?” I asked, and Queen Amestris laughed.

“Of course you are, child. Now take the fire to your husband's bed.” She handed me a shallow bowl; a small flame danced upon the oil within the vessel's curve.

I cradled the bowl carefully in my hands, and followed as the Queen Mother led me from the robing chamber into the corridor that ran between the queen's rooms and the king's. Hegai awaited us there, to lead us to the king's bedchamber. The sight of Hegai gave me courage.
We all fear change. This is change again. That is all.

The palace eunuchs lined the corridor and watched as I walked past. Amestris stopped before the door to the king's bedchamber. She nodded to the eunuch standing beside the doorway, and he lifted the bar and pulled the door open. The eunuch bowed low and Amestris said:

“May you find happiness with your husband. May you be the mother of many sons.” More words that must be spoken to me because they were spoken to all brides. Amestris spoke them solemnly—but she smiled and patted my shoulder. “Now go in, and sleep well.”

At the last moment, I looked back at Hegai. He smiled at me, and nodded, and I wished he could come with me into the king's bedchamber—

“Go in, Vashti.” Amestris did not like to repeat an order; I heard impatience in her voice.

Hastily, I stepped through the doorway, and as the door closed behind me the flame I carried flickered wildly. For a breath I feared the fire would go out, but then the small flame once again burned steady and bright. I looked past it into the room. At first I saw nothing but shadows, for I carried the only light, and it dazzled my eyes.

“You're supposed to bring the flame over here to the bed, you know.” Ahasuerus's voice startled me; I looked past the fire I carried and saw the darker shadow in the center of the room. The king's bed. Beside it, Ahasuerus stood waiting.

I walked forward, and as my eyes became accustomed, I saw that the room was not truly in darkness. The full moon's light poured through the tall windows, turned shadow to silver. I reached the bed, and there I stopped. I knew I must set the bowl in my husband's hands, that I must let him lead me around the bed, and that I must then lie down on that bed with him. But my body refused to obey me.

I stared mutely at Ahasuerus. He seemed no more able to move than I.

But at least he had command of his voice. “I'm tired. Are you?” he asked, and suddenly I realized that I had been awake since before dawn. I nodded. “You must be cold, too,” he said.

Still silent, I held out the flame to him. He took the bowl from my hands and set it on the floor. As I stared, surprised by this casual dismissal of ritual, Ahasuerus flung himself onto the vast bed.

“Come on,” he said, “get into bed.”

He was both king and husband; his words my law. And I was weary and chilled, and wanted nothing so much as warmth and rest. I scrambled into the bed after him. Ahasuerus shoved some pillows toward me, and handed me a thick soft shawl. I wrapped the shawl around me and regarded Ahasuerus with awed gratitude.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” he said. “I'm the King of Kings. I can do whatever I want. My mother says so.”

The first words I spoke to him were, “I love your mother.” Then we both stared, silent, at each other. Beside the bed, the flame guttered and went out. The small fire had eaten all the oil in the bowl. The only light we had now was the moon's gift.

“You can do whatever you want, too,” Ahasuerus added kindly. “Because you're queen now. Let's go to sleep. We can talk in the morning.”

Rather awkwardly, we lay down beside each other. After a few moments, Ahasuerus put his arm over me, and I curled up against him. We fell asleep that way. Peacefully, like tired kittens.

*   *   *

Weary though I had been, I still awoke early. Pale gold light fell across the bed; dawn light. I sat up and looked at Ahasuerus, who seemed to be still asleep. I was wrong, for as I began to crawl over to the edge of the wide bed, he sat up.

“Where are you going?”

I sat back on my heels. “I don't know. Where should I go?” Until Queen Mother Amestris had transported me to Shushan, my days had been strictly ruled. The freedom offered me now often baffled me.

Ahasuerus yawned and stretched, and then jumped out of bed. He wore a robe as sheer as mine. It was the first time we had looked upon each other in full light—and as I said later to the woman who became his true wife, we saw too much, and were too young to wish to see more. Ahasuerus grabbed up one of the silk-and-gold shawls draped across the bed and tossed it toward me. I hastily wrapped the shawl around me, and when I turned back to Ahasuerus, I saw that he had taken another of the shawls to cover himself.

“Where are the servants?” he demanded. “I'm hungry. Are you hungry?”

I nodded, grateful for a question I could answer. Then I dared ask a question of my own. “When are the servants supposed to come to you, my lord king?” I was sure there were rules governing every hour of the king's wedding and wedding night and the morning following.

“I don't care. I need them now and they aren't here. Come on.”

He strode off, shawl trailing behind him. Obedient—and curious—I followed, taking care not to trip over the voluminous shawl covering me. Ahasuerus led me into another room, its entrance hidden by a curtain woven in a design of running lions. The room had no windows, and was lined with chests of cedar and of sandalwood. Ahasuerus knelt by one and lifted the lid. As I watched, he pulled out tunics and tossed them onto the floor.

“Choose one and get dressed.” Ahasuerus caught up a tunic for himself as I stared.

“But those are your clothes. I can't wear the king's clothes. I can't wear a boy's tunic.” I thought even Queen Mother Amestris might be shocked by such an idea.

“I'm your husband and your king, and I order you to wear it.” Ahasuerus sounded impatient now.

Husband and king—of course he owned the right to command my obedience. I stared down at the tunics he had scattered before me, and grabbed the closest. Then I retreated to the other side of the lion-curtain and pulled the tunic on over the sheer gown. Ahasuerus, wearing a dark blue garment sewn with gold lion heads, came to join me and studied me critically. Since he was larger than I, the crimson tunic I had chosen fell about me in heavy folds and covered me to my ankles. Boy's garb or not, I was still modestly clad.

“Come on.” He strode off and I hastily followed.

Ahasuerus guided me swiftly through palace corridors until we reached a kitchen that stretched so far into the distance I could not see where the room ended. The kitchen staff paused in their tasks as Ahasuerus walked in. I expected them to kneel, to greet him as King of Kings, to wait in humble silence to hear his pleasure. They did none of those things. Most of them bowed their heads briefly, and then returned to their tasks. One of the cooks came forward, smiling; Ahasuerus greeted the woman with easy affection.

“Kassa, is the morning bread ready yet? I am
so
hungry I could eat a
stone
!”

“You're always hungry, my lord king.” The woman's voice held only amused affection. “And what of you, my lady queen? Are you hungry, too?”

“Oh, yes,” I said, so fervently that I heard muffled laughter from some of the other kitchen servants.

“You entered hungry, but I vow you won't leave hungry. Sit down, my little king and queen, and let me see what I can set before you on this fine morning.”

*   *   *

What Kassa the cook set before us was a bowl of amber-ripe apricots and a platter of flat bread hot and golden from the oven. Beside those she placed a cup of honey and another bowl filled with cheese cut into neat cubes. Ahasuerus ate with steady efficiency, while I dipped apricots in honey and then licked the honey off the plump fruit. Smiling, Kassa watched us devour the food; the more we ate, the more broadly she smiled.

To my surprise, the other servants and slaves seemed equally pleased to see Ahasuerus. It seemed odd to me that the King of Kings should be so familiar with the kitchens; puzzled, I looked at him and he grinned. “Don't tell my mother,” he said.

He was my king and my husband, and older than I, and I was bound to obey him. “I won't,” I said, and hoped Queen Mother Amestris would not ask me if her son ever spent time in the palace kitchens.

Of course she did not; she didn't need to ask. Amestris knew everything that happened in the palace.

*   *   *

We spent that whole day together, Ahasuerus and I. He showed me more of the palace than I should have been permitted to see. But he was king: who was to stop him, if he chose to bring his queen to the king's great hall, to the throne room, the treasury, the stables?

That day set the tone of our marriage: he carelessly daring, I admiringly copying him.

In the evening, Queen Mother Amestris came into my bedchamber to bid me good night. She smiled at me, and touched my hair. “So you have now been queen for one whole day, Vashti. Are you pleased?”

“Oh, yes,” I assured her fervently. “I love being queen! I love being married! I love Ahasuerus!”

Amestris laughed. “I am so glad. Now go to sleep. You have many days ahead of you, each as pleasant as this one has been.” She bent and kissed my forehead, and then she left. I watched her go, and I saw Hegai, too, gazing after her. For a breath, I thought he frowned. Then I realized it must have been a shadow cast by the flickering lamplight.

*   *   *

At first marriage was unending joy to me. With my marriage to Ahasuerus, I had gone from being Belshazzar's granddaughter, a girl expected to keep her voice soft and her face smooth, to being the Queen of Queens. I was petted, indulged, pampered as if I were one of Queen Amestris's prized long-haired cats.

Anything I desired was mine for the asking. I had a dozen dozen gowns, gems beyond counting, servants and slaves to do everything for me from combing out my hair to tying my silver sandals upon my feet.

Within a month I was utterly spoilt—or would have been, had not Ahasuerus treated me with a sort of dutiful indifference. Since I admired him greatly, I longed to gain his attention, and that was one of the three gifts that saved me.