Game of Queens (39 page)

“Why bother?” I heard one of the maids whisper to another, “this one's name is already written—”

I turned my head, and looked into the eyes of the handmaiden who silently listened to the first's unwary words. She smiled, and I saw her swiftly pinch the other, who ceased talking.
So, another who can see beyond the next turn of the sands.

“What is your name?” I asked, and saw the girl glance sidelong at the tall eunuch, who lifted his hand—only a little, so that only one watching closely would see that he had moved at all.

“Kylah,” said the clever handmaiden, and I repeated the name to myself. I would remember her, and the tall eunuch as well. Command rested upon his shoulders as easily as the elaborate robe he wore. He clearly was someone of greater importance than he wished to reveal.
Now, who—? Of course. Hegai. The Chief Eunuch of the Queen's Palace.

The answer came easily, once I had asked myself the question. Who had a greater stake in the search for a new queen than the Chief Eunuch? And I had heard my cousin Mordecai speak of Hegai often enough. Hegai ruled the Queen's Palace; one of the chief officials of the imperial court, whose word could be countermanded only by the king—or the queen.

I was being judged by the Chief Eunuch himself; a sign of great favor—
and of the great price Mordecai paid to place me here, before Hegai's eyes.

“Well, maiden,” Hegai said, his voice gentle, soothing, “let me look upon you.”

“Is there any need?” I asked, and Hegai suddenly regarded me with far more interest.

“Do you think so little of yourself?” Hegai continued to eye me keenly.

My skin burned under his gaze, but I kept my head high. “I think so truthfully of myself. My hair is a much-praised color. My skin is without blemish. My body is without flaw. You have eyes. You do not need me to tell you I am beautiful.”

I said these words with neither pride nor arrogance. I stated facts, no more than that. I tried to stand placidly; it was hard to be serene, bared to so many eyes. A long-ago memory:
I swam naked in cold pure river water, and above me hawks wheeled in a turquoise sky—

“You are very blunt. Are you so confident you will be chosen?” Hegai walked slowly around me, returned to gaze upon my face once more.

“I am already chosen, my place bought and paid for.” I decided to risk my future on the truth. He knew it already. Why lie?

“And you think that settles the matter?”

“I think it a bargain sealed only if you form a good opinion of me, my lord.” I did not say his name, as he had not offered it.

“Should I form a good opinion of a maiden with a clever mind and a strong will?”

“That depends,” I said, and paused, waiting.

“Consider the question asked,” he said at last, and I smiled at him.

“On what virtues you seek in the next Queen of Queens,” I said.

He gazed upon me for long moments; I stood quiet, kept my breathing calm.
Do not think about the fact that you stand naked for him to judge you. Think only of what he needs, and what you can offer. Remember how your father dealt with those who wished to buy his horses, or to sell him theirs.
Then, shocked, I realized I sought Hegai's favor.
Why do I care? Do I wish to be queen, like all those other foolish girls?

As I waited, the hot air heavy upon my skin, I looked boldly at Hegai's face. I did not expect his next question, which seemed almost random, as if honor demanded he ask me something.

“Do you wash your hair with henna?” He lifted a handful of my hair, rubbed his fingers over its strands.

“Is there a woman in all Shushan who does not?” I answered, and saw him smile.

“I know of two. You are one of them.” He waited, but I did not ask who the other was, for she could only be Vashti, the queen infamous for her disobedience and famous for her ivory hair. After a few moments he released my hair; I let it fall and did not attempt to arrange the strands prettily.

Hegai regarded me steadily; I studied him in turn, seeking hints to his character.
He is clever, of course, and I think he may be kind. He is dark, but comely …
I smiled, and Hegai promptly said,

“The world holds many beautiful women. Do you truly think yourself worthy of being presented to the Lord of Half the World, the King of Kings?”

“Yes,” I said instantly. I expected Hegai to order me out at once, but he did not.

“Why?” There was no emotion whatsoever in his voice.

Why?
I had not expected so many questions, or such intense ones. I hesitated; Hegai waited unmoving, and the other eunuch and the six handmaidens in the pavilion seemed turned to statues.
Why was I beautiful enough—? No. No, not that. He said “worthy.” That is what he wants to know—and he wants a real answer, not “because you took the rubies; because you are bought and I am paid for.”
I could think of only one reason the Chief Eunuch would ask that.

Like my cousin Mordecai, Hegai, too, saw a crown when he looked upon me. Ice flowed through my veins as my dreams of once more living in freedom faded and reformed into the jeweled prison of the Queen's Palace. A cold weight pressed upon my brow, tightened about my temples.…

Terrified, I summoned all the most maddening gestures I had ever scorned in other girls. I tossed my head and shifted my weight so my body curved and twined a lock of my hair through my fingers. I slanted a flirtatious glance through my lashes at Hegai and forced my voice to become honey-sweet, my words coy. “Why, because I am so beautiful. That is what the king, may he live forever, seeks, is it not?” I laughed, the teasing ripple of sound I had often heard other maidens use when they sought to seem falsely modest.

Still Hegai watched me and said nothing.

“Even you called me lovely, and surely you would know!” I managed to giggle, and tossed my head again. “But I suppose you think me vain,” I prompted, praying he would dismiss me.

“No, I think you a good judge of your face and figure. So few are.” After a moment's silence, he said, “The bargain is sealed,” he said—softly, so that only I could hear. To the waiting eunuch, Hegai announced, “This one goes to the palace. Put down the name of…”

So I had failed to win free and now must accept my fate with either grace and courage, or wailing and weeping.
I refuse to snivel,
I told myself, and felt the uncanny terror fade. I stood straight and spoke calmly. “Esther,” I said, and saw amusement light Hegai's eyes.
Did you expect me to forget the name I have been forced to give you? Well, Hegai, you are no fool—but neither am I.

“Write down the name Esther of Shushan,” Hegai said. “Now, Esther, you may ask for three things to take with you to the palace. Anything you wish.”

“Anything?”

“Anything in all the kingdom.”

“Then I ask for a gown to cover myself, and Kylah for my handmaiden.”
I wonder what most of the chosen maidens demand?

“And the third thing you ask to take with you to the palace?”

“Your friendship.”
Ah, that took the bland composure from your face, Hegai!
“You said ‘anything in the kingdom,'” I added.

“If those are the three things you ask for, those are what you shall receive.” Hegai made no sign that I could see, yet Kylah moved toward me and bowed.

“Come with me, mistress.” Kylah led me out of the large pavilion through a tunnel of crimson cloth into a shadowed, smaller tent. There I stood and waited as she opened a long chest and lifted out garments. “What will you have, mistress?” she asked, and I smiled; I knew this game.

“You choose what I should wear now.”
That will show Kylah that I trust her judgment—and that I am not fool enough to think I know what is proper in the palace simply because I now compete for the queen's crown.

I thought I saw her smile; we both openly studied each other, judging the value of our new alliance. “Do not be too trusting, mistress.”

“Hegai gave you to me,” I said, “and it is to your advantage that my garments make me pleasing to the eye. Once you've chosen your horse, it is best to stay on its back until the race ends.”

Kylah stared at me, apparently baffled by such plain words. Then she laughed, softly, and began the task of garbing me for my short journey to the palace. She chose well: a green silk gown heavy as cream, a long vest of cloth-of-silver sewn with silver pomegranates. She combed my hair into a neatness I never quite achieved myself. Against the cloth-of-silver, my hair burned like dark fire.

“Very nice,” I said, and Kylah smiled.

“Thank you, my lady Esther.” Not for her the vainly humble protest; clearly Kylah knew her own talents. I noted, too, that I had become “my lady Esther” rather than “mistress.”

Yes, I thought she and I would work well together.

*   *   *

I was carried to the palace in a gilded litter, hidden behind curtains of blue-and-white-striped silk. I had hoped to watch as I was carried up the Great Staircase to the King's Gate, but that was not permitted.

“You are the king's now,” Kylah told me. My new-won handmaiden sat curled at the other end of the litter, looking pleased with herself. “No man may set eyes upon you, save the king.”

“Is that why he summoned Queen Vashti to come before him at a men's banquet?” I asked, and heard a small gasp.

“No one—” Kylah began, and I smiled.

“No one will say what everyone knows? Why not?”

“Because it is not—safe. You are going where you may trust very few, and it is never wise to speak too freely.”

“But you are my handmaiden, Kylah. May I not trust you?” I saw she knew there was no good answer to this.

“I will not willingly betray you,” she said, “but how can you know I am speaking truth to you?”

“If you are not, and I cannot trust you,” I said, “I would rather know it at first—than at last.”

For long moments Kylah stared at me. Then she smiled. “I am glad you asked for me as your handmaiden, O Star of Wisdom. Truly, you are worthy to be queen.”

“Perhaps I am. But truly—I would rather I were thought worthy to decide my own future.”

Even clever Kylah did not know what to say in answer to that. Neither of us said another word, but our silence lay peacefully between us. We waited as we were carried up and up, the bearers climbing the long flights of the Great Staircase steadily, smoothly, so that the litter only rocked gently from time to time until we reached the top, and the palace of the King of Kings.

*   *   *

I knew when we passed between the huge winged bulls that guarded the entrance to the palace, for I heard a man ask what business this litter had within the courts of the King of Kings, and the reply of the eunuch who escorted me. “These curtains veil a gem for the king's delight.” The eunuch sounded rather smug, as if my beauty were somehow his achievement.

“Enter, and may Ahura Mazda smile upon what you bring to the king.” The guard's words were solemn, measured; as the litter moved forward my keen ears overheard the man mutter, “Another—how long until…”

Then the gate and guard were behind me, and I considered his exasperated comment.
“Another—how long until…” How long until this contest ends? How long until the king chooses the new queen? Yes, that fits. If the king truly is to judge among as many maidens as he rules provinces, it could take months.

And just how was the king to make his choice? Would we all stand in a line, and he walk along, gazing upon us? Would he sit in state as we all paraded before his throne? Would he call for us one by one, night after night, until he at last found a woman who made his heart happy?

“My lady?” Kylah's soft voice interrupted my consideration of the logistics of this grand scheme. “We are within the Women's Palace now.”

Now it begins—no, it began when I let my name fall into the basket. I chose my horse; now I must ride it.

I stepped out into my new world.

*   *   *

The palace was a maze; a labyrinth of gardens and dwellings; columned halls and bright balconies. Pillars of sardonyx, pillars of marble in every color of earth and sky. Statues of winged beasts with men's faces. Ceilings set with silver and gold stars mapping the heavens. Walls inlaid with turquoise and ivory, mother-of-pearl and malachite. Later I learned the palace held darkness, too, but at first all seemed brilliance and light. Some never saw past the veil of bright illusion to the shadows beyond.

I was shown into rooms so luxurious that for a moment I thought I had been given the queen's apartments by mistake. A bed wide enough for three people; silver tables; bright silk rugs blossoming beneath my feet. I went to a tall narrow window; I looked out and could see rooftops, and sky.

Later, I learned that Hegai had given me rooms far beyond anything I was entitled to as one of the candidates for queen. But that first day, I knew only that I now played an exhilarating game. I turned away from the window and went to stretch out upon the wide bed. I ran my hand over the embroidered rug covering the bed. My fingers touched hard beads; when I looked, I saw that the covering was stitched with pearls.

Pearls were all very well, but I hoped I would be permitted books. I could not read pearls. And all I had to do—all I could do—was wait.

Wait until the moment I would learn if I pleased the king.

HEGAI

I knew she was the new queen the moment she smiled. She walked calmly into the pavilion and stood quietly as the maids removed her garments. She blushed, but neither protested nor flaunted herself. She was beautiful, of course, but I barely noticed her body, for when she smiled light seemed to halo her, its radiance brilliant as winter stars.

After considering the matter, examining her words and reactions, I knew what had so impressed me—and it was not her astonishing beauty. No, it was her calm assessment of her own worth. She knew she was beautiful, and she knew, too, that she could not take credit for her perfection of face and form.