Games (5 page)

Inside the confines of the guest room, he mechanically showered then slid into a pair of khaki shorts and a white T-shirt. The possibility of his child growing inside of Shay robbed him of his rational thinking ability. He paced rapidly in circles until he became dizzy and fell onto the queen-sized bed. He lay there until the ceiling returned to its still-state. The pounding in his chest, which surfaced with Shay’s revelation, remained. He counted on that being a permanent fixture until he found out the results of the pregnancy test. Somberly, he made his way to the den to join his father.

Minus the usual passion and intensity, Brian stared at the mounted plasma screen. The San Francisco Giants and the Oakland A’s were engaged in the Bay Bridge Series. Instead of professional athletes, the men on the screen were orange, black, white and green dots. His team was winning, but he didn’t know that. The numbers danced over the screen like his thoughts.
Shay can’t be pregnant. I still have law school. How could I have been so irresponsible? I didn’t even think about using a condom.

“I can’t believe that ump! That ball missed the strike zone by a mile.” Reggie’s protest snapped Brian from his internal rambling.

Brian turned to find his father staring at him, waiting for a response. Quickly, he decided the best way to keep his father from asking questions about his inattentiveness was to play along. He threw his hands in the air. “I can’t believe that,” he yelled at the television, then stood. “I’m going to get something to drink. I’ll bring you back some apple juice.” Brian left before Reggie could tell him he already had a glass of cranberry juice.

By the seventh-inning stretch anxiety took over and Brian left without eating dinner and without saying good-bye to Shay. He did manage enough courage to call her as he lay unable to sleep in bed later that night.

“When are you going to the doctor?” he asked. 

“Tomorrow at eleven o’clock.”

“Where?”

Shay gave him the address. “You don’t have to come. I can handle it on my own.”

Even as the words left her mouth, he knew she didn’t mean them. “Shay, it’s me you’re talking to. You want me there and I want to be there. We’re in this together.”

“Thank you,” she whispered and after a pause added, “fat head.”

He half-heartedly chuckled. “I’ll meet you there, Ms. Know It All.”

Shay distracted her thoughts by attempting to read the latest cooking magazine. Under normal circumstances the recipe for the triple chocolate torte drizzled with caramel would have held her attention.  But her eyes kept moving from the pages and surveying the mauve-colored waiting room. She watched the receptionist check new patients in and then heard those same patients called into the examination rooms. Her heart rate accelerated every time the wooden door opened, afraid a nurse in colorful scrubs would come render her fate. She glanced at her watch, just a few minutes more and she’d be home-free.

Brian sat next to Shay watching the video health monitor. He wasn’t interested in the latest allergy medication, but found it to be a good distraction. They had been waiting for the results of Shay’s blood test for two hours. To their relief, the regular urine test was negative, but to be sure the doctor ordered the more-accurate blood test since Shay’s cycle was two weeks behind schedule.

Brian looked over at Shay who had remained quiet for most of the day. She hadn’t given him any indication she blamed him, herself or both for their predicament. Brian placed her hand in his. “I’m sorry about all this,” Brian said apologetically.

“What are you sorry about? You didn’t do anything I didn’t want you to do. As I recall, I extended the invitation.”

“True, but I should have been more responsible.”

“So should I, especially after that first time. But, Brian, I honestly didn’t think it would happen again. After the first time I swore it wouldn’t happen again.” 

“Me, too. I made all kinds of promises and bargains with God,” Brian admitted.

“Probably the same ones I made.”

They shared a light laugh.

For just a second, Brian allowed his mind to drift back to Emery Bay. How wrong they had been, but yet how good it felt, like they were meant to be. “No matter the outcome, Shay, we’re still friends, right?”

Shay gave him a slight smile. “Of course, fat head, you’re my best friend,” Shay answered then turned her attention back to the cooking magazine. The colorful pages appeared blank to her after Brian reminded her they didn’t have a future together. Somewhere deep within, she hoped she was pregnant, just so she could have a little part of him forever. A moment later the nurse called Shay back to the examination room.

Brian waited in the waiting room with his head bowed. He was so deep in prayer, he didn’t notice when Shay returned wearing a big grin.

“Congratulations, you are
NOT
going to be a father!”

Brian let out a deep sigh of relief then said audible words of thanks. “Why are you late?” he then asked.

“The doctor doesn’t know, but I’m definitely not pregnant. Could be stress and irregular periods do run in my family.”

“Thank God,” Brian said again. “God sure does know how to save us from ourselves.”

“I know that’s right,” Shay agreed.

Three days later, Shay stood on the football field at UC Berkeley and watched Brian receive his Criminal Justice degree
, graduating Summa Cum Laude. She was so proud of him, when the professor called his name tears rolled down her face. Her best friend was on his way to fulfilling his dreams. 

After the ceremony he walked over to join the family. Shay snapped his picture. While he got hugs and congratulations from everyone, Shay quietly slipped away; she had a plane to catch.

“Thanks, Mom,” Brian said to his mother when she handed him a tall glass of ice-cold lemonade. He enjoyed spending his short summer break in Goodyear, Arizona with his mother and stepfather, but with Goodyear being located just outside of Phoenix, he was perched right smack in the middle of the desert heat.

Alysse left and returned with a gallon-sized pitcher filled with Brian’s favorite beverage. “Four years in the Bay Area has spoiled you. And that big pool your father and Julia have.”

“Come on, Ma. I’m not spoiled.” Brian pouted.

Alysse folded her arms across her chest and narrowed her eyebrows. His stepfather cleared his throat.

“Well, maybe just a little,” Brian conceded. “What can I say? I have a great dad.”

Alysse sat down on the enclosed patio and watched Brian and her husband, Mark, spar off in a game of chess. She studied Brian from head to toe and discovered he was not her baby anymore. Somehow when she wasn’t looking, her little boy had transformed into quite a handsome, grown man. Who was she kidding? Brian was the spitting image of his father and Reginald Pennington was ten degrees past fine.

Brian’s physical characteristics weren’t the only thing that had changed. Brian’s attitude had transformed in the last month. He was no longer tense and irritable.

He’d just turned twenty-three and Alysse still wasn’t ready to let him go. Four years ago, she fought tooth and nail to keep him from moving to
California, but lost the battle when Reggie, Brian and Mark ganged up on her. Now Brian was on his way to law school in a few weeks. And just liked he’d planned; he’d been accepted into the Boalt Hall School of Law at UC Berkeley.

Business at the travel agency she owned with her husband had been slow lately and Alysse worried about meeting Brian’s tuition. Her son never asked for much, outside of an education to fulfill his dream of becoming a lawyer. Now Alysse was afraid she wasn’t going to be able to grant him that. 

“Brian, when is your first tuition payment due?” she asked, tying to sound cheerful.

Brian shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know.”

“Well, how much is it?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugged again.

“Brian, you start classes in a few weeks and you don’t know when or how much is due?” Alysse stood with her fists planted at her waist. “I need to know, so I can figure out how I’m going to pay it!”

Mark narrowed his eyes when Alysse raised her voice. Mark being ten years her senior didn’t care too much for drama and Alysse had a short fuse.

“Mom, don’t worry about it. I gave all the information to my dad and he took care of it.”

Alysse’s face contorted. “What do you mean he took care of it and
how
did he take care of it?”

“Mom, I don’t know how, but he told me not to worry about it.”

“Oh, he did?”

“Alysse.” At the sound of Mark’s firm tone, she relented.

Alysse didn’t press Brian any further, but went inside and called Reggie. As she punched his number, she felt a great relief, because she honestly didn’t know how she would come up with the money. She also felt like eating crow.

“Hello, Alysse,” Reggie answered on the third ring.

“You must have caller ID. Look, I’m calling about Brian’s tuition.” Alysse was always direct and to the point with everyone.

“What about it?”

“He told me you took care of it?” Alysse responded cautiously, fearing her son had given her the wrong information.

“That’s correct. In fact, I just sent the check off yesterday,” Reggie answered.

“When’s the next payment due?” she asked, hoping it wouldn’t be due for at least three months.

“There isn’t one; I paid it in full.”

Alysse was speechless. It was times like this when she regretted not allowing him to see Brian until he was nearly an adult. It was only because of Reggie that her son was able to pursue any of his dreams.

Alysse took a deep breath. Chewing crow was tougher than she thought. “I didn’t expect you to do that, considering you’ve already paid for undergrad.”

“Brian is my son, Alysse. I told you I would take care of his college education. That included law school.”

“I didn’t know that.” Alysse breathed a huge sigh of relief. “Thanks, Reggie. Lord knows I don’t have the money.” Glad that was out of the way, she changed the subject. Maybe one day she and Reggie would make peace about their broken relationship, but today was not the day. “What’s going on with Brian and Shay?” Brian was a little upset with Shay for leaving his graduation without saying good-bye.

“What are you talking about?”

Alysse hated when Reggie pretended not to know what was going on with Brian. To her envy, her son shared everything with his father. Her son once clung to her, but now all Brian wanted was to emulate the great Pastor Reginald Pennington. “Are they dating or not?” she snapped.

“Brian is there with you, why don’t you ask him?”

“I already did, but he won’t give me an answer,” Alysse admitted.

“Then neither will I. Good-bye, Alysse.”

The dial tone greeted Alysse before she could form a comeback.

***

Brian finished his third lap and sat on the edge of the pool enjoying the warm Arizona night. The eighty-degree night weather was perfect for swimming. Living next door in California for the past four years, he’d forgotten how quiet and peaceful the desert could be. Nights in the desert were pitch-black, but surprisingly the darkness carried a peaceful calm. In the thickness of the night one couldn’t help but be still and reflect on one’s life. Brian leaned his head back and contemplated his progress. Thus far, what he had accomplished was remarkable, considering his humble beginnings.

As a child, he lived like a vagabond with his mother. They never had enough of anything, including food or money. And to top it off, he suffered physical beatings from Alysse’s drunken boyfriends.

Alysse had grown up in the foster care system, which meant Brian didn’t have any close relatives that he could turn to. He spent most of his childhood feeling alone and helpless and very depressed. Then right before he graduated high school, Julia Simone appeared out of nowhere and united him with his dad. The father he didn’t know existed.

Brian had a special love for his stepmother, whom he affectionately addressed as, Mama J. If it hadn’t been for her popping up, he would have never known his father was alive and well. His mother had told him he was dead. From that day on his life changed. The questions about who he was and where he belonged were finally answered. The emptiness he’d felt all his life now overflowed with his father’s love. Brian had friends his own age, but considered his dad to be his best friend and his hero.

Brian dove into the pool when his mind wandered to Shay. He hoped water would clog his ears so he could no longer hear her constant voice in his head. He hadn’t spoken to her since she slipped away at his graduation. He missed her, but knew it was better this way. Brian didn’t need any distractions right now and just thinking about the day they spent at Emery Bay and his near-brush with fatherhood was sobering enough. Those memories would both haunt and console him forever. 

On more than one occasion he found himself replaying the sound of her voice telling him she loved him. Brian knew he would never hear those words from her again, at least not in the same context. That hurt him, but he accepted that as part of his punishment for breaking his commitment to God. Besides, he didn’t believe Shay really meant those words in the same context as he’d used them. Brian loved her, the woman, the individual, not just the physical activity alone. He didn’t just love her, he was in love with her, but she would never know it.