Games of the Heart (64 page)

Both of them invited me to attend but I made the decision to give them their time together without me and instead hit J&J’s with Cheryl, Vi and Jessie. I knew their invitations were sincere and maybe I might join them eventually but now I figured they should have these times together. Rees was gone in two and a half years and they’d want those memories. It wasn’t that I’d fuck them up, it was just that that was special and I thought they should have it, just Daddy and his little girl for as long as Daddy had his little girl. I knew I still cherished my times when my Dad took me out on the tractor, just him and me, and I figured Dad did too. Rees and Mike should have the same.

“You guys have fun?” I asked.

“It’s a wonder I can move, I ate so much junk it settled like a weight in my gut but yeah,” he answered. “We always do.”

“Good,” I whispered and he grinned up at me.

Then his grin faded and he told me, “Had my time with my girl last night, Dusty. All three of us can help you today.”

With it being the weekend, Fin and Kirb would be working the fields with my Dad. There wasn’t an extra tractor and I needed to get my pottery sorted. The plan was, Mom was helping me crate the finished pieces for a delivery pickup on Monday at the same time I’d teach Mom to do that on her own so, when I had time, I could be at my wheel or glazing and firing. I had pottery to sell and a variety of galleries, including my own not to mention my website, to keep stocked. This meant I worked the fields on the weekdays and I was in the barn on the weekends. Until the crop was in, this was going to be my life. And Hunter and Jerra were arriving with their kids the next day. I needed to be able to spend time with them so I had to sort my shit out which meant I was facing a long day.

Mike had long since planned a trip into Indy with the kids to go to No’s favorite music store so he could pick his birthday present. This included lunch at some restaurant that they all liked to go to when they were in Indianapolis.

Mike wanted to delay it so they could all help out. I didn’t want my shit bleeding into his kids’ lives, especially not when they had a fun day planned. With Audrey playing games and Rees having bullies on her back, they needed their good times, not to be put to work on the weekends.

“I’m good. Mom will help and I’ll see if I can rally Rhonda,” I told him.

“Dusty –” he started and I gave him a squeeze.

“I’m good, gorgeous, really. Mom’s great. She likes to be busy. She needs more to do. That’s the crap part for me but she’ll be all over it. I love being at my wheel. I lose time, I love it so much. It’s all the grunt work that’s a pain in the ass. Mom likes doing that kind of shit. It’ll be fine.”

“Sure?” he asked, his fingers moving randomly on the skin of my ass.

“Sure,” I replied on a smile. “But, while I have you and we have a quiet moment, we need to talk about something.”

His head tilted slightly on the pillow and he held my eyes when he invited, “Shoot.”

“I’ve got a phone meeting with my accountant next week. I need to give him your bank details and tell him how much to transfer into your account monthly for my part of the mortgage and utilities.”

Mike’s brows drew together and he asked, “Your part of the mortgage and utilities?”

“Yeah, whatever it is, half it and I’ll have that transferred whenever you want, first of month, middle, last. Whenever it fits your schedule.”

“You’re not paying half the mortgage and utilities, Angel,” Mike stated, he did this firmly, very firmly, and I stared at him.

“Sorry?”

“You’re not paying half the mortgage and utilities,” he repeated.

“What do you mean?” I asked then didn’t give him a chance to answer before I said, “Are you thinking about the kids? Because I don’t think a quarter is cool. Or a third. They aren’t earning so they don’t factor –”

Mike cut me off with, “No, I’m not thinking about the kids or a different percentage. You’re not payin’ any of the mortgage and utilities.”

I blinked. Then I stared again.

Then I asked, “Why not?”

“Why not?” Mike asked back.

“Yeah, why not?”

I felt Mike’s body get slightly tight under me and his hands stopped roaming on my ass.

I should have taken this as a warning.

I didn’t.

“Because this is my house, it’s my mortgage, the utilities are my responsibility and you’re my woman and I take care of my woman.”

Was he insane?

“Mike, this isn’t the ‘50’s. I’m living here. I earn. So I help pay the bills,” I told him.

His body got tighter, another warning I didn’t take.

“I know it isn’t the ‘50’s, Dusty. I also know you’re at your wheel two days a week rather than whenever you wanna be. And you’re workin’ a tough gig the other five days. Not to mention you told me that, with the economy, your business has taken a dip. And further, your ranch is not rented out so you’re already paying a mortgage and utilities for a home you aren’t occupying.”

“Yes, but I’m occupying this one so I pay my way.”

“You rent your ranch, we’ll talk again. For now, I pay your way.”

He
was
insane.

“Mike, that’s nuts. I’m living here.”

“Did you pay rent on the farm?” he shot back.

“No but I paid for groceries and anyway, that’s my family home.”

“Uh…Angel,” he started, his deep voice holding a vein of sarcasm I didn’t like all that much. “You might have missed it but a week ago
this
became your family home.”

Now
my
body was getting tight. “You know what I mean, Mike.”

“I do and I mean the same thing, Dusty.”

With a forearm in his chest, I pushed slightly away from him only for his hands to slide from my ass to wrap around my waist and hold me close so I stopped.

But I didn’t stop talking.

This was unfortunate though obviously I didn’t know it at the time.

“I get you’re an alpha, Mike, and I’m your woman. I dig that. I
like
it. But I can’t live in a house and not help out. And, might I point out, you need to think about Rees’s school and now No who either needs his car cleaned and repainted, which, with that car, would be throwing money away, or he needs a new car. I lighten your load, things ease for you.”

“Yeah, and we can talk about you lightening my load when your ranch is occupied. But it won’t be half. Four people in this house, I’m responsible for all but you wanna be responsible for you, then we’ll make a deal. But we’ll do it then, not now.”

“That could take months, Mike.”

“So you lighten my load in months.”

I felt my teeth clench and I forced them to unclench when I informed him, “This makes me uncomfortable.”

“Give it time, you’ll get used to it,” he replied immediately and I felt my chest start burning.

I took in a breath.

Then I stated with forced calm, “This means something to me, Mike. I’ve been taking care of myself for a while. I’m used to doing it. I’m proud I’m able to do it so well. And I
want
to help you out.”

Something about what I said struck him in a place that was unhappier than his current unhappy. I knew this when he knifed to sitting, taking me with him, but his arms locked around me, keeping me in place.

And I would know what struck him as unhappier when he returned, “I don’t
need
help. I’ve been doin’ just fine, I’ll keep doin’ just fine. And it means something
to me
that you let go what you had in Texas to be here. I know you came to help deal with the shit at the farm but I also know you came to be with me. I’m not gonna let you take a financial hit for that. Your ranch rents, we’ll talk. It won’t be half. No fuckin’ way. But we’ll talk and we’ll talk
then
not now.”

“I know what I can afford financially, Mike,” I snapped.

“After tellin’ me your profits have been down for two years to the point you and your manager had to start sellin’ your shit over the internet and recruiting new galleries, are you tellin’ me that wouldn’t be a hit?”

It would but that wasn’t the point.

“That’s not the point,” I replied.

“Dusty, it is. You do
not
take a hit for me. You
already
took a hit for me, leavin’ your life, comin’ up here to be with me. That’s the first and the last.”

There were clearly some times when Mike’s bossy and macho weren’t all that cute.

“You can’t make that decision for the both of us,” I retorted.

“I just did,” he fired back.

I glared at him a second then whispered irately, “Mike, that is not cool. I get you’re a man,
all
man, boy do I get that, and most of that’s good. This is bad.”

I knew he was losing patience when he replied in a low voice, “Dusty, we’ll talk about this shit and come up with a deal
when you rent your ranch.
”

“And until then you’re happy for me to be uncomfortable with the situation?” I shot back.

“No, until then I’m happy for you to stop being so fuckin’ stubborn, understand I got your back with this and I’m tellin’ you the compromise we come to will be delayed which makes
me
comfortable.”

“That’s not an acceptable solution for me,” I told him.

“Dusty –”

That was when I lost it and cut him off to declare, “Choice, Mike. I move back to the farm or find an apartment or I stay here and pay my way. That’s it. Those are your choices. What do you choose?”

It came out of my mouth and even as I was speaking I saw his face turn to granite and I realized I’d done something horribly wrong.

But, unwisely, I did not stop.

I would know this was true when his hands went to my hips, he lifted me off him, planted my ass in the bed and angled out of it. But instantly he turned, put a fist into the mattress beside my hip and leaned in so our faces were close.

Then he growled, low and rumbling, “You get I’m a man? Then you learn you don’t give a man like me an ultimatum. Not ever. You wanna be an independent woman to the point you refuse to compromise, have at it, darlin’. But
you
make that choice. You don’t force that shit on me. You can’t have all the good parts of me bein’ who I am then expect to lead me around by my dick whenever you feel like it. That’s not gonna happen. You made a sacrifice for me. I live with that daily. It is
not
a sacrifice havin’ you in this house. The mortgage doesn’t increase, the utilities I’ll barely feel. It means somethin’ to you to pay your way, terrific. What you gotta get is it means somethin’ to me to have your back while you’re settlin’ in my home and your life is settling elsewhere.”

Then, after warning me off making ultimatums, he made one of his own. Except, considering how pissed he was, his was a whole lot scarier.

“You can’t handle that, the farm is right next door.”

After delivering that, he pushed off the bed, turned, bent, snatched his jeans off the floor, stalked to the dresser, grabbed some stuff then prowled into the bathroom where he closed the door.

I pulled the covers over me but other than that, I didn’t move. This was mainly because I figured I’d just fucked up. I’d taken it too far. And I forgot who I was dealing with.

Mike came out of the bathroom and immediately I called softly, “Honey –”

“Pissed now, Dusty,” Mike interrupted, not looking at me as his long legs took him straight to the door. “We’ll talk later when I’m not.”

Then without me getting a word in edgewise, he was gone.

And I sat on my ass in Mike’s gorgeous, six thousand dollar bed and stared at the doors thinking that it would eventually have to happen. It couldn’t be beautiful and perfect every second of every day only marred by outside factors we couldn’t control.

But with my history, I expected that it would be Mike who’d do something that would make him a pain in my ass.

I never suspected it would be the other way around.

* * * * *

“I don’t feel up to it, Dusty.”

I stood in the double doors of the family farm and stared at Rhonda who was lounging on the couch, eyes to early morning TV.

Mike did not return to our room and when I got dressed and went downstairs, I saw a note he’d written to the kids to say he was going to Hilligoss to get donuts. At the bottom it said,
See you tonight, Dusty.

This meant I was dismissed. This didn’t piss me off. It also didn’t scare me. I couldn’t imagine Mike was the kind of guy who held grudges, not after trying to make his marriage work for the length of time he did it. I figured Mike was the kind of guy who got pissed fast, it burned bright and if you gave him time, he’d be approachable for you to sort shit out.

Or at least I hoped so.

The one thing I knew was that I’d find out eventually and I had too much to do, I had to see about doing it. I’d be doing it worried about what went down with Mike but I didn’t have the luxury of popping open a carton of ice cream at seven o’clock in the morning and obsessing (or waiting for Hilligoss for that matter). I had to keep on keeping on. I also sensed I had to give Mike a chance to cool down. So I did that.