Authors: Crystal Perkins
So, I did what I had to
do and acted like an ass. I noticed her checking me out which both
turned me on and scared the shit out of me. I had checked her out
already when my mom was talking to her and I don’t think my body
has ever reacted so fast in my twenty one years of life. Rich, dark
brown hair that was almost black, was pulled back into a tight
ponytail that reached past her shoulder blades, making me want to
wind my hands around it. Those beautiful eyes, a pert nose and strong
cheekbones, just daring me to caress them, met my eyes next. Then her
mouth, damn what a mouth. Not too full but still luscious lips
smeared with some kind of dark pink gloss were tempting me. I wanted
to be on that mouth, I wanted that mouth on me.
All
over me
. I don’t know how I managed to tear my eyes away
and look any further, but I did.
A graceful neck led to
a positively sinful body. She wasn’t super thin with fake tits like
the society girls I had been fucking for years - or like my ex,
Amber. No, lush breasts strained against a t-shirt that said
something about reading irresponsibly. A trim waist and full hips,
the kind you want to hold onto when thrusting in hard, led to a great
ass and legs that went on for miles ending in a pair of black
glittery Toms. She—Yasmin—was easily around five seven and with
heels would be just the perfect height.
That’s why I had to
get out of there. I was ready to blow like a thirteen year old just
looking at her. And when she fired back at me after my stupid
comment, I wanted her in more than a physical way. What the hell is
wrong with me? Let me get this
iced
coffee and think of my eighty year old high school math teacher so I
can go back in there. I need to get my shit together and be there for
Alex and Mom.
* * *
Yasmin
I really like Alex.
After her initial shyness, she told me that dystopian books are her
favorites. I took her to the section, but noticed her gaze kept
straying across the aisle to contemporary fiction. I met Maggie’s
eyes and she shook her head, giving Alex a look filled with sadness
and love. I started telling them about some of my favorite dystopian
books. Alex had read a few but was excited that I could recommend
some more to her. Before we left the section, I pulled my favorite
funny contemporary off the shelf and asked her to try that one too,
for me. Her smile wavered but then got a little brighter - just for a
moment - as she nodded.
As I am walking them up
to the register, Scott comes back into the store. He has sunglasses
on and a swagger to his walk. I try to ignore my body’s immediate
reaction to him as I step behind the counter. I ring up the books -
minus the contemporary one. I can’t really afford to give it away,
but I want to. I feel a connection to Alex in some unknown way and I
want to help her. I give the total and Scott throws an AMEX Black
card on the counter before Maggie can even get her wallet out.
“You don’t have to
pay, honey,” Maggie says to him with a frown.
He looks at her, an
intense look on his face. “Yeah, I do. Please let me.”
She nods and I swipe
his card. I hand him a pen and the slip to sign. After he signs, he
sticks the pen behind his ear with another of those infuriating
smirks.
“Excuse me, but are
you really going to steal my pen?” I ask, irritated.
“Yeah. I think you
can afford one less Bic pen.”
“First of all, you
don’t know anything about me and what I can or can’t afford. And
second, I happen to
love
pens, any pen and nothing pisses me off more than some ignorant
asshole taking whatever he wants because he thinks he’s God’s
gift to the earth. Now give it back,” I practically scream the
words at him.
A moment of silence
passes where I realize that I had just yelled at and insulted a
customer. One I desperately need. I open my mouth to apologize when
Maggie bursts out laughing. “I like you Yasmin. Expect us to become
regulars here.” She smiles at me. “Give the pen back, Scott.”
“Crazy pen loving
bookworm,” he mumbles while slamming down the pen and storming out
of the door.
“I like you, too,”
Alex says. “Can I call you when I read the books to talk about
them? Or come in?”
“Of course! I love
talking about books! You can call or come in anytime.”
* * *
Scott
“Yasmin seems like a
wonderful young woman,” my mother says with a smile when we get
back to her house. My parents bought this large rambling mini mansion
when they decided to relocate the company headquarters. My mom has
made it warm and welcoming despite the size, just like our Chicago
home. My brothers got condos in City Center on The Strip but I chose
to remodel the guest house and stay on property. I will never leave
my loved ones unprotected again.
“She’s an uptight
bitch. I mean, who gets upset over a 10 cent pen?”
“She is most
definitely not a bitch. She was great with Alex and actually made her
smile. And how upset did you get with Luke for taking that
free
flash drive you got at CES last year?”
“She made Alex smile?
Really?” Shit. Why couldn’t she be a cold bitch? I
need
her to be a cold bitch. Then, she won’t be of interest
to me anymore. Yeah right. I couldn’t forget her, even if I tried.
And I want to try. At least I can manage not to see her again. But,
do I really want to not see her again? Fuck, fuck, fuck! What is
happening to me? I can’t do this, I can’t. I need to get to my
place and work on the new software I am designing.
My mom looks at me
intently, like she is reading me from the inside out. She probably is
- she always seems to know what we are all thinking before we can
even say it. I love her so much and I can’t disappoint her and my
dad again. They have never come out and said that I have disappointed
them but I know that I have. The tats, the piercings, nothing shook
their love or faith in me. But what happened with Amber, yeah, that
is unforgivable. I know it even if they have never said it.
“Yes, she made Alex
smile. And she gave her a contemporary book to read. You know she
hasn’t wanted to read anything based on real life since…” She
stops there, a look of such intense sadness in her eyes.
“Since I fucked up
all of our lives and got her parents killed,” I say through a haze
of hurt and loathing.
“No. No, Scott. Do
not say that. How many times do we have to tell you that it is not
your fault?” She seems so sincere. But I know that she can’t be.
I destroyed this family.
“I
can
blame myself
.
” I
practically run out the back door without even saying goodbye. I had
to get out of there. I will finish this software project and add to
my family’s wealth. God knows we don’t need it-we have more money
than we could all spend in ten lifetimes. But this is all I can
contribute to my family, all I can give them. So I will. Even if I
have to work day and night, I will. They deserve better, but this is
all I have to give.
Yasmin
“We really need to
get an online presence. I know you wanted to stay small and just have
the store. But, online could save us,” Erika tells me and I know
she is right.
“I know. My parents
would have done it already. I don’t even know where to start
though,” I tell her honestly. Give me a book and I am good.
Technology, along with math and science, are foreign concepts to me.
I mean I can use what I need to on my phone and computer, but don’t
ask me to do anything beyond basic.
“My friend, Sean,
knows how to build websites. I bet he could help us get started for
cheap. What would really help would be this new program that I have
been reading about. It was previewed at CES and is still being worked
on, I think. It’s software for both computers and phones, through
an app, that lets you put in a description, sentence or characters
from a book and find matches to choose from. Amazon and Barnes and
Noble are salivating over the thought of it.”
“Wow. That would be
awesome. But if Amazon and B&N are after it, there is no way I
could afford it.”
“Things are pretty
bad, huh? If you need to let me go, I understand. You are my friend
first and I don’t want you struggling. I mean it.”
“I know you do and I
love you for it. Things
are
rough, but if we can get the website up, maybe that would
help. I was thinking that we could do recommendations and link in
some of the bloggers I’ve met. Maybe make it both a social place
and a place to shop.”
“That sounds great!
I’ll call Sean and have him get started!”
“So, tell me about
this
friend
, Sean.”
Erika turns red and starts blushing. She is saved by the store phone.
“Thanks for calling I
Heart Books, this is Yasmin. How may I help you?”
“Hi Yasmin. It’s
Alex. Do you have time to talk?”
“Alex! Yes, of
course! I’d love to talk to you! Did you finish one of the books?”
It has been a week since she came into the store and I am really
hoping that she read and liked one of the books. I head back to my
office to take the call, mouthing to Erika that I will be back on the
floor soon.
“I read
all
of the books and I loved them so much! They were exactly what I
needed.” She proceeds to tell me what she liked about each book and
we talk back and forth for over half an hour before she tells me, “I
especially liked the contemporary book. I-I haven’t read a
contemporary in about nine months. I haven’t wanted to read
anything based in the real world since…”
I wait patiently, not
wanting to push her when it seems like she’s struggling with how
much to tell me.
“Since my parents
died.”
“Oh, honey, I am so
sorry.” My heart breaks for this beautiful girl. Just like my heart
broke inside of me the day
my
parents died.
“Everyone says that
but no one understands,” she says with a hint of bitterness.
“I understand,” I
tell her gently. “My parents died 2 years ago. This was their
bookstore. They loved it like it was a second child and when they
died, I took it over. Every day since their car accident, I miss them
and sometimes I can hardly bear to be in this store. But, books have
always helped me escape and I can’t imagine not being able to talk
to customers and friends about the books here in the store.”
“Oh. You
do
understand. I didn’t know and I’m sorry for you, too.
It doesn’t sound like it gets easier. I want it to be easier, but I
don’t want to forget them either.”
“It
does
get easier, but you never forget. Some days I almost forget that they
are gone and go to call them when something good or bad happens.
Then, I remember that they are not here. I know that they would want
me to live my life and be happy. So, I’m trying and most days, I
succeed.”
“I think my parents
would want that for me too. I stopped reading contemporary books
because I didn’t want to read anything real. I couldn’t stop
reading but I thought if I read something that was futuristic or in a
fantasy world, I could get lost in them. Especially because my mom
loved reading contemporary books - YA and romance especially. But,
the one you gave me was fun and good and I think when I come in
again, I want to get some more.”
“Oh, sweetie, I am so
glad to hear you want to read contemporary again. They
are
reality based for the most part but you can still escape
in them. Not in another world, but with a hot guy who has a tender
heart or by seeing a character go through a rough time and get
through it. You know those books have saved a lot of lives and
brought happiness to many people.
I will confess that
like your mom, I read contemporary romance and now New Adult books
when I’m not reading YA. I like to escape into them and imagine
that some hot guy would want to romance me. I know that’s not going
to happen. A book store owner is not sexy to most real men. But, at
least I can pretend that it might happen when I am reading.”
“So, you don’t have
a boyfriend? Really? I mean, I think you’re awesome and gorgeous.”
“Aww thanks. No, I
don’t have a boyfriend. I haven’t had much time to date, but my
friends have been bugging me to make time. I think you are awesome
and beautiful, too. I want to see you smile more.”
“My grandparents and
uncles tell me that, too. I want to try to be happier. Are you
working tomorrow? I’d like to come in and get some more books. And
see you. I think one of my uncles can bring me.”
“Yes, I’ll be here.
I can’t wait to see you.” We say our goodbyes and hang up. I
can’t stop thinking that I would do anything I can to help this
girl through her grief like my friends helped me.
The next day, I am
talking to Sean on the phone about the website when Alex comes in
with who I think is one of her uncles. He has those same amazing
green eyes, black hair and facial features as Scott but that is where
the similarity ends. This guy is in an expensive looking charcoal
suit with a deep purple shirt unbuttoned at the collar. His black
hair is a little long on top but styled in a controlled way and he is
wearing fancy shoes that could probably pay my rent for a few months.
He is also seriously built, his muscles fighting against the
expensive suit that holds them. I tell Sean I’ll call him back and
hang up.
Alex runs right over to
me and gives me a hug. ”Yasmin, this is my Uncle Ryan. Uncle Ryan,
this is Yasmin.”
“Hello, Yasmin. It’s
great to meet you. My mom and Alex haven’t stopped talking about
you all week,” he says with an easy smile and a little sparkle in
his eyes.