Garden of Serenity (12 page)

He folded his arms behind his head. “Well, it was presumptuous of me to be sure, most honorable Jahara. Perhaps I should sleep in the other room?” He rolled her off him, the light from the candles dancing in his eyes.

“I don’t think so.” She tackled him back to the bed and found his mouth with hers. They tried to kiss even as they laughed. “Perhaps one or two more times. I’m not sure I completely understand the technique.”

Chapter Eight

Brenimyn studied the exotic creature snuggled in the bed beside him. Though she’d only been part of his life for a mere three weeks, the promise of her arrival had occupied his dreams for as long as he could remember. But
this
woman—the one who lay snuggled in the crook of his shoulder, her breath feathering across his chest and her ebony hair tickling his skin—far exceeded the fantasies of a young boy and the hopes of a man.

She came to him with so much history. Jahara wasn’t a warrior as he’d expected, but a healer committed to another. Toying with the ring on her finger, he had to admit, he hadn’t expected that complication.

Now, while she lay sleeping, her face held none of the lines of guilt he’d seen shadow her features on numerous occasions. It surrounded her like an ominous cloud when he spoke of love.
Merenith
. He knew nothing of the woman other than her name. Jahara was very careful to keep her personal life from him.

He could reach in with his mind and share her dreams, but he’d promised he wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t go there anyway. He didn’t really want to know if Merenith was who entertained Jahara’s sleepy thoughts and brought a smile to her full lips. He wanted to be the one who held her heart.

Only in the quiet moments of their meditation, in the places where he took them, could Jahara utter words of love to him. He hoped the time would come when she could admit her feelings outside the confines of their lovemaking. They shared their physical intimacy without reservation. There wasn’t an inch of her body he hadn’t kissed or caressed and she, his. But they hadn’t been able to make that leap into their personal lives. Their trust in one another was but a tenuous thread without the solid material of life experience to make a tight connection.

But wasn’t he just as culpable? He hadn’t yet trusted her with all of himself either. For as much as he loved her, he’d withheld the one thing she truly wanted from him—his life essence.

Last week, when Jahara had sat on the edge of the bed, her face streaked with tears, he’d held her and consoled her. She’d cried because her menstruation had begun. They both knew two weeks would hardly be enough time to conceive, but she’d seemed genuinely disappointed. He should have shared the truth with her then. But the woman had yet to let go of everything she’d come to believe about men and procreation. She thought he was an anomaly, a unique male specimen. Until he knew she was completely committed to their love, he refused to give up his seed. He didn’t know how she would react when they conceived a child, especially if she found out she carried a son.

He was sure his heart wouldn’t survive having another child being ripped from his heart.

The first woman he impregnated had been sequestered in another part of the Garden. He’d moved on to other breeding partners as the law required, so he’d lost track of her. He’d found out quite arbitrarily weeks after she’d given birth to a healthy male son that the Garden had taken the infant. He’d petitioned the Governmental Body to allow his Dame to take the babe, but they scoffed at the idea. Males—infant or adult—had no rights.

The child would be a year old next month, and he ached for the son he’d lost. Not sure he could endure another loss, he’d trained himself to copulate without releasing his seed. Through deep meditation, he’d learned how to control his body. He found great satisfaction when he made love to Jahara, but oh, how he would like to allow himself the abandonment of total release.

He’d told no one of his secret until last week when the responsibility of Jahara’s tears had been more than he could bear. In a moment of weakness he’d confided in Sebastian, a dear friend and supporter of the cause. But the confession did nothing to assuage his guilt.

Perhaps today, when he told her of the visions his birth-sister had shared with him so many years ago, he’d also share his fears of the future. He prayed to the Creator of this earth that he wouldn’t frighten her when he shared the details of the overwhelming task that lay ahead of them.

But nothing was going to happen if he didn’t wake her soon.

Running his fingers down her side, he let his hand rest in the curve of her waist. He couldn’t believe she was real. He’d meant it when he’d told her she was so much more than he’d ever dreamed. To have her with him in the flesh was to make all he’d envisioned a reality. He still marveled in the fact she’d been gifted to him. Now he only had to make her believe in their love—a daunting task at best—an impossible dream at worst.

 “Brenimyn?”

I’m here, my love.
If he said the words enough, even telepathically, perhaps she would come to believe them. Watching her eyes flutter open, he nearly melted with the smile that curved her mouth.

“Last night wasn’t another dream, was it?”

“No, my sweet.” Leaning close, he whispered the words in her ear, nipping the fleshy lobe. “It was as real as my love for you.”

Rolling over, she snuggled her back against his chest, rubbing her bottom provocatively against him and his body responded. As much as he’d like to take advantage of the warm cocoon and make love to her again, they didn’t have time. He’d already let her sleep too long.

“I’ll take the first shower and get everything ready for our picnic. You jump in after me.”

She rolled toward him, the sleepy satisfaction adding to her breathtaking beauty. “How about we don’t go for a picnic and we spend my day off right here in bed?”

Guilt churned his gut. Knowingly withholding information from Jahara made him uncomfortable, but telling her everything would surely send her fleeing from him and that would be unbearable. After today, there would be no more lies. But right now he needed to get her out the door.

How about I show you the lake everybody talks about and we make love out where there are no cameras?

She came up on her elbow. “Then I say let’s get packing.”

He left her humming in the bed and rushed to ready them for the day. Many were depending on Jahara’s arrival and he didn’t want to keep them waiting.

After he’d showered and dressed, he hurriedly worked to pack the picnic lunch as he stared at the time. Not knowing they were on a time schedule, Jahara was taking her time. He could hear her blissfully humming in the bedroom. He wondered if she would be so happy if she knew what this simple trip to the lake held in store for her.

“Do you want cheese, tomatoes—or lettuce, or all three?” Lifting his head, Brenimyn hollered into the bedroom

“All three sound lovely.”

“Oranges or apples?”

“Strawberries and grapes. There’re some in the bottom of the fridge. And perhaps some bananas.”

He heard her rustling in the closet. “They don’t travel well,” he mumbled as he shoved the food he’d chosen into the pack. “Forget it. I’ll pack both.”

“There’re some crackers in the cupboard to the left of the sink. They would go nicely with the cheese,” Jahara said, stepping into the kitchen, tucking her tank top into the waist of her flimsy pants.

Brenimyn held the box up for her to see.

“Oh, good you already found them.”

He shoved the crackers in next to the fruit and turned to the bottles on the shelf. “Red wine or white?”

“I’m feeling a little wild today. How about both?” She rose up on her toes, kissing him full on the mouth.

“Both it is.” He smiled when he looked at her flushed cheeks, knowing his loving had put the color there. “I like your hair that way.”

Running her fingers down the long strands, she fluttered her gloriously thick lashes at him. “Really? I didn’t know. I’ve decided I like it down rather than in a braid.” Flashing him an impish smile, Jahara pointed her finger at his nose. “But you’re going to be responsible for combing out any knots that tangle it today.”

“It would be my pleasure.” He kissed her nose.

“It’s another lovely day in The Garden.” She giggled.

“Perfect for visiting the lake.”

“Why do I feel today involves more than a picnic?” she asked.

Jahara had no idea what kind of a hornet’s nest the answer to that question would open. Brenimyn swallowed the lump of deceit clogging his throat. “I’ve got a couple of other surprises, but if I told you … you wouldn’t be surprised, now would you?” Keeping his tone upbeat, Brenimyn avoided looking at her. Even after only a few weeks, she could read his emotions and he was acutely aware his guilt would be obvious.

“Are you sure we can’t just stay here and lounge by the pool? I don’t get many days off.” She pressed her body against his back, her hands sliding down his belly. “I think I need more practice in this baby-making activity.”

Turning around, the air rushed out of his lungs. His love for her hit him with the force of a punch to the gut. He looked into her eyes, feeling as if he would drown in their deep amber pools. They were filled with trust, and he knew in that instant he would give his life for this woman if the journey they were about to embark upon ever came to that.

“
You
, my honorable Jahara, have perfected that technique.” His arms wound their way around her hips. “Today, if it would please you, I would like very much to show you another part of the Garden.” He watched her face pinch in disapproval at his statement. She hated when he put her on a pedestal for the cameras. Pleased that she thought of him as an equal, he gently brushed her lips, pulling away before she could deepen the kiss and delay them longer. He’d already had to fight her off in the shower.

“With your permission, I called for a car. It’s already waiting outside to take us to the lake.” Putting the pack with the food on Jahara’s back, he shrugged the heavier pack from the shelf over his shoulder. “Shall we?” He led her outside.

The ride out of the Garden proper was uneventful. As they drove past the breeders’ residences then the houses for the pregnant females, they chatted about the day ahead and the night before. They carefully measured their words lest the woman driving the vehicle be a watcher for the Governmental Body.

Jahara’s eyes grew wide as the Garden proper melted away. The residential buildings opened to the agricultural section of the Garden. Large fields of corn, wheat, potatoes and various other fruits and vegetables lined the road. Workers in their pale blue outfits hunched over the crops.

“What’re they doing in the field?” Leaning over the seat, Jahara asked the driver to slow the vehicle. “They’re all women, yet they wear the pale blue tunics of breeders.”

“The founders originally intended machinery to do the culling and harvesting they’re doing.” Brenimyn pointed to the fields. “But so many live here for so long they had to find something to occupy their time while they procreated. As you know, no one is forced to work, it’s a choice. But it’s no different than you working at the breeders’ well-check.” He toyed with Jahara’s fingers laced through his. “You’ll notice there’re no male breeders who work. It’s not allowed. We must be available to copulate at our mate’s request. Besides, they’re afraid we might get hurt.” He couldn’t keep the sarcasm from his last statement. “There are a mere two thousand of us here. Two-point-five men for every breeding woman.”

Jahara’s brow furrowed and Brenimyn couldn’t help but laugh at her assessment of the situation. Today might go better than he anticipated.

They left the golden fields of grain waving in the endless gentle breeze and traveled toward the green pastures of the animals. Herds of cows, horses and bison could be seen grazing on the rolling hills. The scent of manure filled the air. Jahara sighed.

She neither wrinkled her nose in displeasure like the driver, nor smiled in approval as she’d done with the other new scenes she’d experienced. Brenimyn tried to reach her telepathically, to sense what she was feeling, but Jahara had closed herself off from him. It was a technique she’d perfected in the last few weeks and only when she relaxed or slept could he breach her barriers.

In the beginning, he’d known her every move and sensed her every emotion, but she’d become very adept at shutting him out. Perhaps he’d simply invaded her thoughts one too many times while she was busy at the healing facility. It didn’t upset him. Nothing about Jahara bothered him, quite the opposite in fact. She never ceased to amaze him.

Jahara fell heavily back into the seat, a look of sadness creasing the corners of her eyes and mouth. Embracing her, Brenimyn tucked Jahara against him. She didn’t resist, but she remained rigid in his arms. Jahara’s incessant talking stopped and they traveled the last ten minutes in silence. Though he wanted to understand Jahara’s sudden mood swing, he instinctively knew he wouldn’t like the explanation, so he didn’t ask.

Turning off the main thoroughfare, the vehicle bumped along the rutted road. The agricultural section was the only part of the Garden kept in its natural state. The barn they sought sat nestled between the lush jungle and the emerald fields filled with livestock.

“We’re here.” Brenimyn’s voice sounded overly cheery even to his own ears. They climbed out of the car, instructed the driver to return one hour after sunset and stood watching in silence as it disappeared over a hill.

Grabbing both packs in one hand, he took Jahara’s hand in the other, leading her into the cool shadows of the building. The sun shafted through the large double doors. The stalls lining either side of the barn held animals and windows. The light slanting through the stall doors barely reached the broad-beamed floor where they stood. It took Brenimyn’s eyes time to adjust to the murky darkness.

“Hello,” he called into the emptiness. Lifting their joined hands, he checked the timepiece at his wrist. It was only slightly later than he anticipated. Someone should be here.