Gates of Rapture (The Guardians of Ascension) (17 page)

“Shit.” He rocked her and kissed her. He held back the storm of feelings that threatened him right now. The thought that he could be separated from Grace for any length of time tightened his chest until he could hardly breathe.

After a long moment, and once her trembling had subsided, she drew back and met his gaze. She kissed his forehead, his eyelids, his nose, then his mouth. She lingered and he savored, letting her do what she wanted.

Finally, she leaned back and drew a deep breath. “Okay, I guess we should deal with this one step at a time. First, we need to take care of my little problem.”

*   *   *

Grace led the way upstairs to Leto’s bedroom. She had been thinking about this moment from the time she’d left the contest grounds and returned to his cabin to wait for him. She’d drawn some hard conclusions.

Mostly, she wanted her blue flame powerfully expressed so that she wasn’t hindered by these terrible headaches. After that—well, she didn’t know what exactly would happen, but she did know that events tonight had brought her right next to the war, and given the number of colonists that had been saved, she was glad she’d come back when she did.

Once in the bedroom, she looked up at the unusual bed. “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

“It was handcrafted by a local artisan.” Dried branches, scraped clean and oiled, formed a canopy over the massive king-size-plus bed, which seemed like a fitting choice for a cabin deep in the Cascade Mountains.

“I couldn’t say no to the bed,” he explained. “The woman who made it lost her Militia Warrior husband last year. She needed the money to support her family.”

“I think it’s lovely.” She ran her hand over some of the smooth branches, letting her fingers glide over nubs and arches. “And the sentiment is equally beautiful.”

Opposite the bed was a large fireplace, enough for a roaring fire in winter. But in September, not so much.

He slid his arms around her. “How’s your head?”

“Much better, thanks to Alison. And did you know that her wings have emerged? She spent the day flying over White Lake with Kerrick.”

“Wait, that has significance, doesn’t it? When I tried to rejoin the Warriors of the Blood, Luken brought me up to speed about everything, especially about Alison and that she would one day open the portal to Third. Holy shit, do you think we’re headed there?”

Shivers suddenly chased down Grace’s shoulders and arms. “I hadn’t thought about that when I heard her wings had emerged. It would cast a new light on your possible ascension to Third as well.”

He leaned down and kissed her, then drew back. “I think you might be the missing piece of the puzzle, Grace. It can’t be a coincidence that your return here, to be involved in the war, has coincided with Alison’s wings.”

Grace felt overwhelmed suddenly, and the part of her that was deeply intuitive knew Leto was right. Her return was connected to Alison, even as much as her presence here would affect the war against Greaves.

“You did good tonight, Grace. I don’t want to think what would have happened if you hadn’t embraced your obsidian power, despite your headache, and gotten the Nazca location for us. It was some quick thinking, too.”

She looked up at the branches and once more let her fingers glide over a bend and a smooth knot. She shook her head. “I’ve avoided the war my entire life. Now here I am right in the middle of it. But then I ask myself, why should I be spared these fears and sufferings? War has afflicted human- and vampire-kind for most of history. I hid out in the Convent, sent there by my sister’s disappearance. I can see that now. I’m not exactly sure that I’m worthy of you, Leto. I think I’ve been a coward.”

He drew close and put a hand on her shoulder. “No one likes war, Grace. Those of us who are built for it serve because it’s the right thing to do. But when lives are destroyed, as they were tonight, there is no real solace. So why would you choose that, especially when it’s clear you’re built for other things?”

“I want to help, that much I know. I didn’t understand how much being of use would actually mean to me especially in this situation. But because Greaves won’t hesitate to slaughter millions of people if it suits his purposes, and if I can stop him, then I have a responsibility to do what I can.”

As she stared up into Leto’s clear blue eyes, at least one thing crystallized for her. He had been in her life a long, long time and she loved him. She knew his soul, his infinite worth, even if he didn’t. If having her obsidian flame power opened and utilized fully would help her to keep him safe, then whatever sacrifices she must endure would be worth it.

“So, how would you like to do this?” he asked.

She glanced at the bed. “Right here, lying on the bed, with you beside me.”

He smiled. “Then let’s do it.”

To set a course and stay the path

Sets the angels of heaven to rejoicing.

—
Collected Proverbs,
Beatrice of Fourth

CHAPTER 7

Grace stretched out on the bed and folded her hands over her stomach. Leto joined her.

Ready?
he sent.

She smiled. “Absolutely.”

Leto was a powerful vampire, and within seconds he had pushed inside her mind. She could feel him at the outer boundaries of her thoughts, seeking, finding his way.

She took deep breaths and made sure that all her mental shields lay flat.

What am I looking for?
he sent.

Wow, your voice is so clear because you’re inside my head. It always surprises me that there’s a difference.

I know. And you sound like you’re shouting.

Sorry,
Grace sent.
I’ll tone it down.

Leto chuckled, but she wasn’t sure if it was audible or within her mind. His presence was like warm water, very soothing. That surprised her as well. He was so physically strong that she had been certain once inside her mind he would feel like a bear pushing around and foraging for things. Instead, his presence reflected the gentleness and kindness of his character.

You seem to be thinking very hard,
he sent.

Oh, sorry. Have I made it impossible for you to find my obsidian power?

Yes. I’m blocked at every turn.

She forced herself to relax and once more lowered her shields. He moved through her mind back and forth, searching her thoughts and memories, hunting.
Grace, I can’t seem to locate the seat of your power.

Marguerite said that her power was deep within her mind, down a long tunnel.

I’ve been through your mind. There’s nothing there that I would call a tunnel, just your memories and a sense of who you are, your thoughts. But I don’t see a tunnel or an opening of any kind.

You don’t see anything? No glow of light?

Nothing.

Both Marguerite and Fiona had spoken to her of long tunnels at the end of which were the vessels that contained their power. Fiona’s had been filled with gold light and Marguerite’s with red. Marguerite had also told her that for whatever reason, these aspects of power were very sexual in nature and that they had strong sheaths that had to be broken to release the power.

Yet apparently Grace didn’t share such a structure.
Where do you think it could be, Leto, if not within my mind?

What about your soul? You have to admit that you’re unique in our world, Grace. Among all these powerful ascenders, you have always charted your own path, followed your own passion, served your communities in different ways. Essentially, you lead with your soul and you’re able to see into the souls of others.

I think you’re right, and I can sense what you would need to do to reach my soul.
But the truth of it frightened her.

What’s wrong? I can feel that you’re afraid.

She would have to open herself up as she had never opened herself up to anyone in the entire course of her life. In essence, Leto would know all of her secrets—and there was at least one that still haunted her.

Not surprisingly, Leto withdrew from her mind. The sensation felt a little rubbery, and as she opened her eyes, she had to blink several times before she could see him clearly.

He leaned up on one elbow and rubbed her shoulder. “I know you didn’t want me to go there with you. I could feel how much it troubled you. We don’t have to do this.”

There it was again, his light hands with her, his kindness, his patience. If he had been strident, she might have recoiled, even made other decisions. She might have worked to protect herself instead of moving forward.

Instead, she gripped his arm and nodded once. “It’s okay. I still want to do this. I must do this. I’m not going back to the life I knew. I know this changes things, but so be it. This is my path.”

He leaned over and kissed her full on the mouth. “I’m so grateful that you’re here with me and that you’re so accepting of my beast-state. I confess I don’t understand all that’s going on with the
breh-hedden
right now or with you and your obsidian soul-based power, but I want to be here for you as much as I can.”

She rolled toward him slightly and kissed him back. “This is new ground for both of us.”

He looked so worried, his brow heavily furrowed. “I just don’t want you to have expectations of me. We’re being pushed toward this profound degree of connection, but I’m not sure how much of a heart I have to give.”

She sensed how troubled he was because of all he’d been through. The guilt he carried with him was a constant companion.

She smiled and placed her hand on his cheek. “How about we take everything one step at time, no matter how messy or strange it gets.”

He nodded, stroking her cheek with his thumb. “Okay.”

“But I do have one suggestion.”

“Sure. Anything.”

“Why don’t we lose the clothes.”

His eyes went wide and he grinned. His expression was so male right now that she laughed. Not a bad thing to lighten the mood. “I’m in no way opposed to the idea, but why?”

She shrugged but felt her cheeks growing warm. “For the closeness, I think, and maybe even the vulnerability. If I can be open physically right now, I think it will help the rest of the process. Besides, I’ve heard the whole thing becomes pretty exciting.”

He leaned over and kissed her, drew back, then waved a hand the length of his body. Clothes gone.

She let her gaze drift over him. He was so beautiful, his arms heavily muscled, his pecs thick, his abs sculpted.

She returned the favor, also waving her hand to encompass her clothes. When they disappeared, he let out a solid groan. He reached over and put his hand on her stomach, touching the sapphire-studded ring at her navel. But she caught his hand then rolled onto her back. She chuckled. “Try to focus, if you can.”

“What? I didn’t quite hear what you said.”

She met his gaze. His beautiful blue eyes were suddenly alive with laughter. She once more put her hand on his cheek. “Okay, beast-man, come bust open my obsidian power, then I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.”

His body did a full shudder. “Okay, so what do we do now?” he asked.

“Try diving into my mind again, and this time I want you to go soul hunting and not tunnel searching. I think I’m built a little differently than either Marguerite or Fiona.”

She closed her eyes and lowered every mental shield she could find.

*   *   *

Leto turned into her to lie on his side. He took hold of her upper arm in a gentle clasp. Mentally, he pushed at the edges of her mind and slid within, because again her shields were down.

He loved being naked beside her and he loved being inside her mind. His body reacted, firming up. Because he was so close, the tip of his cock touched her. She smiled, but didn’t open her eyes. Instead, her hand searched for him and found him, closing around his stalk and thumbing just the tip. Then she sighed and the frown disappeared.

He laid his head down on the bed.
I love being inside your mind.

I love you being here.
Her fingers played with him and his hips flexed, moving a little closer.

I’m not sure this is going to help,
he said. He pumped a couple of times, so that his cock moved against her palm.

Does it make me a strange woman that holding you like this eases me?

I think it makes you the perfect woman.
This time he released a sigh. He could get used to this. He really could, the intimacy, the touch of Grace’s hand on him, the pleasure of being in her mind.

Leto, this time, I’m going to do something different. Just be ready.

Okay. I’ll be as careful as I can.

Sink,
she sent.

Sink?

Yes. Just sink. Let yourself fall deep into my mind, and I’ll hold my mind open. I can’t explain more than that. Just try.

Leto took deep breaths. Being within another person’s mind was always a strange experience. Memories tended to fly past the intruder, thoughts as well, streaking by like wind.

Within her mind, he looked down, but what his mind’s eye could see was something vague, grayish, almost mist-like. Without trying too hard to make sense of her instructions, he drew in another deep breath and let himself fall, although she was right,
sink
was the better word.

It was like easing into a dark fog. He looked up and saw the memories streaking by one after another. Soon, all that color and activity disappeared. Yet his awareness of Grace increased, of who she was as a person and as a woman, even as an ascended vampire.

The only trouble was, the more he sank, the more physically aroused he became.

Grace?

But she didn’t respond. He had the feeling that she couldn’t, that holding this gateway open was requiring tremendous effort on her part.

Suddenly he felt how afraid she was of being known, of experiencing this much intimacy. She trembled beside him. All that fear, decades and centuries of fear. And damn him for how aroused he was. But being connected to her like this was a turn-on like nothing he’d experienced before. He wanted to be inside her in the same way that he was penetrating the outer regions of her soul.