Gatewright (24 page)

“Yeah,
I learned about that not too long ago,” I affirmed, hoping Rose wouldn’t think
I was holding out on her.

Jack
didn’t look at me, but I heard him loud and clear in my head.  {If you
want to control your version of the truth, you’re the one who’s going to have
to tell them you’re a gatewright.}

He
was right.  I took a breath and plunged onwards.  “I also learned,
slightly after that, that there are some humans and fey who can just naturally
make gates.  They are called gatewrights, but keep a very low
profile.  Think about it: humans would probably panic, the fey see them as
a giant security risk, and I’m pretty sure you can assume that some Exiles
would try to use them for their own ends.”  I gave Cheryl a sideways
glance, and her eyes narrowed at my veiled accusation.

Rose
nodded.  “Makes sense.  Did you meet one of those?”

I
hesitated once more.  “Turns out, I
am
one of those.”

Chaos. 
Rose and Cheryl both leaped to their feet.  Jack lunged to restrain Cheryl
as she moved toward me, demanding I make a gate then and there, while Rose
shrieked about why I hadn’t told her sooner and how hard it must be for
me.  Emma took it in with stunned, wide eyes.   I could only
assume she was deeply regretting her decision to move in with us.

“Silence!” 
Jack finally roared at both of the shouting women.  Rose’s mouth shut with
a click and Cheryl yanked her arm free, expression promising bloody
murder.  Jack continued regardless.  “Understand, if you fail to keep
this a secret, you will not only be putting Jan’s life in mortal danger but
you’ll also hold the key to causing true panic for human society.  If you
tell anyone, I
will
know, I
will
find you, and I
will
make
you wish for death.”

That
was extreme.  I opened my mouth, about to protest his treatment of my
friends, but Rose spoke first, calmly and accepting.  “I vow to protect
Jan’s secret.”

“Are
you part fey?” Cheryl wondered.  “
Cause
you
certainly sound like one.”

Rose
gave her an enigmatic smile.  “Yes.  And thank you.”

“Can
I please go to Azry now?  I vow to protect Jan’s secret – only if you
actually let me go back.  At least this once.”  Tears welled in the
corners of Cheryl’s eyes.  “Don’t make me beg, Jack.”

{Please
do it,} Jack asked.  {Her desperation is messing with my reason.}

“Jack’s
not the boss of me,” I said out loud.  “But I won’t deny you.”  I
turned slightly and put both hands in front of me, concentrating.  It was
easier if I just threw myself through it, but couldn’t shake the nagging sense
that was a bad habit.  The gate ripped open, shimmering in the light.

Cheryl
didn’t hesitate, but rushed the gate, letting it swallow her whole.

Jack
gasped, hands clenching, eyes wide. I moved to stick my head through the gate,
terrified I’d accidentally killed her. “Don’t,” Jack advised.

“What’s
happening?”

“If
you thought I had a dramatic reaction to being back in Azry, remember, she’s
been in the human world almost twice as long.”  Jack struggled to
speak.  “Stay here.  I’ll bring her back as soon as she’s reasonable
again.”

I
nodded uncertainly.  Following Jack’s advice seemed like the best course
of action.  He moved stiffly to the gate, paused just a moment, then
stepped through and disappeared.

I
stared at the gate for a minute then decided I’d leave it open for the
moment.  Safe enough inside the house.  If they weren’t back in an
hour or so I’d stick my head through and make sure they were ok.

Emma
approached me carefully, as if I were a wild animal, then offered me a hug, to
my surprise.  I blinked in bewilderment before I gladly accepted, holding
on tight like I was adrift in a storm.  “Does anyone other than Jack
know?”  Emma asked.

“Um. 
Riven.  Other than that, no.”  I released her.

“I’m
so sorry.  This must be so difficult for you.” Emma reassured me, guiding
me to the couch to plop me between her and Rose.  Rose was still frozen,
eyes fixed on the gate.  “Rose?”  Emma prodded her girlfriend.

Rose
shook herself free of the gate’s spell.  I could see the little fey
changes all over her face.  No wonder she was still in
shock,
I’d accidentally blasted her with a high dose of Azry magic.  “Jan, this
is fucking incredible,” she concluded.  “I can feel magic.”

“Let’s
not do magic indoors,” Emma instructed.  “Our deposit was two months’ rent
and we’ve been here two days.”

Rose
nodded, still distracted.

“Rose? 
What did I say?”

It
took her a moment to remember.  “No magic indoors,” she repeated,
disappointed.

I
brought them up to speed as much as I could, leaving out the details of
nagali
power, the fact Riven had taken up Exile characteristics, and the entire
lianyos
fiasco.  I wouldn’t have believed it would have felt so good to get the
experience off my chest, but it did.  Both the women had more questions
than I could shake a stick at, and I did my best to answer them.  Emma
surprised me.  She recovered from her momentary shock with uncanny
alacrity.  Her reserved nature, under the circumstances, transformed into
level-headed resolve to understand the situation and address potential
dangers. 

Rose
predictably wanted to know more about Riven.  Back at Fort Belvoir, I’d
been ready to tell her all about him.  Now… I wasn’t.  How could I
explain our relationship without getting into
lianyos? 
She sensed
my hesitation and her eyes narrowed.  “Did something happen?”

“No,”
I lied.

“Jan,”
her voice rose in speculation.

Dammit.
She knew me too well.

Jack
saved me by coming back through the portal, eyes downcast in troubled
thought.  Cheryl emerged half a second later.  “You can close the
gate now,” she informed me with a tinge of regret.

Rose
made a slight puppy whine.

“We’ll
get you somewhere in Azry later,” I reassured her, and closed the gate with an
effort.  This was my third gate just today, and I felt tired in my bones.

I
thought Jack and Cheryl’s silence was odd before I realized they were
communicating as
nagali
.  That was going to get annoying
really
fast.

“I’m
going to go now,” Cheryl finally offered, breaking the awkward silence. 
“I’ve left my phone number with Jack in case one of you needs to reach
me.  I’ve got some contacts in the Exile community that would probably cut
off their right hand if it meant a visit back to Azry.  Let me know if we
can help you in any way, Jan.  I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you
gave me this chance.”  Her eyes were clear and, for the first time, she had
a semblance of peace. {Thank you.}

If
I’d thought her totally transformed, I was wrong.  She picked up her boots
and winked at Jack as she left.  “
You
don’t even need
my
number, Ash.”

The
door clicked shut behind her, and Jack waited until the roar of her car had
faded before he slumped into his recliner.

“
Now
we’ll excuse ourselves.” Emma hauled Rose upstairs with her.

I
let the silence settle and waited for Jack to speak first.

“You
have no idea how much I regret marrying my wife.”  Jack still hadn’t
moved, even to open his eyes.  “And how much I hate myself that I can’t be
the husband she deserves.”

“Want
a drink?”

Maybe
alcohol wasn’t the ideal way to deal with this, but it kept him from the harder
stuff I suspected he kept stashed in his room.  We rummaged through the
moving boxes until we found the Xbox, hooked up the TV, and let loose on some
good old fashioned electronic mayhem.  The Captain Morgan had survived the
trip from my apartment, partially because it was still hidden at the bottom of
my laundry bin.  I tried to imagine Shawn’s confusion and curiosity
carrying the mysteriously heavy wicker basket, but not daring to actually
venture through my dirty underthings.

Five
drinks (three for me) and several first-person shooters later, Jack finally let
loose.

“We
were in
love
,” he emphasized.  “But since Sharal was from a minor
clan – even one of our
allies
– my father destroyed any chance we
had.  He had her exiled on ridiculous charges.  I still can’t believe
I accepted it at face value.  That’s why Sharal made me
lianyos
,
right before she went to trial.  She needed to make sure that I knew she
was telling the truth.”

“Did
she ask you first?”  I finished my drink, crossed my legs under me and
turned to face him on the couch.

“I
said yes,” he moaned.  “Stupid, stupid thing for me to do.  I thought
I was being
romantic.
”  He raked his hands through his hair. 
“
Nagali
, when also
lianyos
, have a unique and rather… powerful
connection.  I felt her panic and fear when she was first exiled. 
Keeping my mouth shut – that I knew she was innocent – was one of the hardest
things I’d ever done.  I obeyed my father.  I thought if I got
married, things would get better.  That I wouldn’t feel her
here
anymore.” 
He pointed to his heart.  “I thought if I became a judge and refused to
let anyone else go through that, the pain would go away.”

“But
when they held the threat of Exile over me, I caved, like a coward.  Like
their pet
nagayos,
I broke open minds and made the accused my
puppets.  Until I couldn’t imagine the pain of Exile being any worse than
the hate I felt for myself.”  Jack put aside the controller and leaned
back, studying the ceiling.  “My wife couldn’t understand what was
happening.  She knew I was
lianyos
to another, but despite that,
despite everything, still loved me.  I can’t even comprehend what I’ve put
her through.”

Silence
fell and I couldn’t find the words to fill it.  What reassurance could I
offer?  I knew nothing of his wife or of what she felt.  So I
propelled him forward instead.  “How did you get exiled, then?”

Jack
pinched his nose, squinting his eyes shut for a moment before he answered
slowly.  “Half a year into my term as judge, the Queens were considering
exiling a young
kawoli
.  She’d pissed off Becot, saying the Council
of Elders ought to elect a new Queen before Ulion – the Queen at the time –
died and left the clan to Mikiril.  I can’t remember the
kawoli
’s
name, only that she reminded me so much of Sharal.  I stood up for
her.  I told them she was innocent of treason, instead of the made-up
nonsense they’d accused her of.  They closed the trial from witnesses, and
made good on their threat.  They exiled both me and the
kawoli
.”

A
sad smile flickered across his face as he poured us another round. “Sharal
found us.  She sent the
kawoli
to the Apostate, as was her
command.  Sharal gave me my freedom, a name, and a week of
happiness.  Like a dream, I forgot everything I was and every vow I’d
made.”  Jack tossed the Captain back with ease.  “Then I remembered I
had a choice.  To honor my vows from there on, or to reinvent
myself.  I chose honor.”  He leaned forward, putting his head in his
hands.  “I’ve failed my wife in every way I possibly could.  How am I
going to face her after all this time?”

I
chewed on my lip, trying and failing to put myself in her shoes.  “I think
she’d be
really
surprised if you’d been celibate for eleven years,” I
hedged.  “She’s probably figured out who your
lianyos
was, and that
Sharal’s an Exile too.  I think she’d be really impressed you came back
for her in the first place.  You said you had a son, right?  How you
treat him will matter more than anything else.”  I crossed my fingers that
this was indeed the case.

Jack
nodded, sighed, and drained half a glass of water.  “I guess I’ll find out. 
We’ll leave tomorrow?”

“After
I meet with Ishmael Leeman,” I grumbled, taking another sip of my own rum and
coke.  It was already half-empty again.

“Let
me know if you want me to break his mind,” Jack offered, his cheer
returning.  “I could make him apologize to your mother, for example.”

I
sat my glass down.  “Frankly, Jack, that’s terrifying.”

“Didn’t
do much good against the Council of Queens,” he reminded me.

I
wholeheartedly agreed with the injustice of the situation.  “Fuck the
royals!”  I raised my glass.  “Except Riven.”

Jack
laughed and toasted me, and I finished my glass.  He bent in to prod
me.  “I’m surprised
lianyos
took to you.  What is Riven’s
intent now?  Is he going to try to follow in my
shecoa
footsteps
and ignore the bond?”

I
sighed dramatically.  “His intent seems rather singular.  And
permanent.  Like nothing – not the fact we live on different worlds or are
different species – bothers him.”

“And
you?”

“Me
what?
”

“What
is your intent?”

I
glared at Jack, the buzz of alcohol muddying my thoughts and loosening my
lips.  “I want him in every sense of the word.  But… Jack, I’m kind
of scared.”

“Of
him?” Jack tensed, ready to beat the living shit out of Riven if he’d harmed
me.

“No,
no.”  I waved my arms, forgetting the empty cup, and a few drops scattered
across the room.  “I can’t let him get any closer.  For both our
sakes.  Because there’s no way there’s a happy ending to all this.”

Jack
sucked on his cheek in thought.  “Has he courted you, or did he just make
you
lianyos
?”

“Sort
of?  We kissed, but that’s it.”  I set my cup down heavily on the
table.  “He does seem dead set on the idea there’s a way, but I’m a hell
of a lot more skeptical.”

“You
feel this through the bond?  Not just words?”

“Yeah.” 
I peered at Jack.  “Why?”

“Nothing,”
he murmured.

“You’re
thinking things again!” I warned him.

He
gave me a sly half-smile.  “I just think there actually might be more to
this Kusay than meets the eye.  What is his plan right now?”

“Finding
out who killed our friends.  Someone needs to go rain some mayhem on those
murderers.  And humans are really good at fucking shit up.  I’ll fuck
them
all
up!”  I declared.  “Just like I did before with your
knife, Jack.”

“I’m
sorry you had to use it,” he apologized.  “But don’t for a second think
you weren’t absolutely in the right to kill that assassin.  I would have
killed him in a much more painful fashion if I’d been there.  Anyone who
messes with you, little wright, will have to answer to me.”

“Thank
you for being my friend.”  I leaned over to awkwardly hug him. “You’re the
bestest friend a wright could ever have.  Fuck my dad.  You were
there all those times he wasn’t.  You’re the best.”  I might have
been rambling.

“I
think you should probably go to bed,” Jack suggested.

“I
probably should,” I slurred, but instead slowly slid down until my head was
resting on Jack’s leg, and closed my eyes.  His leg was a rather bony
pillow.  Damn fey.  “But I’d rather be here with you.”

He
gently stroked my hair back from my face.  “We’ll figure this out, little
wright.  One day at a time.”

I
didn’t wake when he carefully scooped me up and carried me toward my bed.

I
woke with a splitting headache, but Captain Morgan had successfully warded off
my nightmares.  Emma and Rose had both left for work.  Jack was gone,
but so was my car.  I wondered where he’d gone off to, and downed an Advil
and two glasses of water before I tried to clean up the living room.  We’d
gone through my collection of video games during the night, and I carefully
organized them on the shelf (Emma’s?) while I snacked on toasted waffles. 
Jack came back with groceries, and I thanked him profusely, although
quietly.  Loud noises hurt.

“I’ll
pay you back for all this,” I promised as we put away the last of the fresh
fruit.  It should have been no surprise to me that Jack’s idea of a
balanced diet was fruit, bread, cheese, bacon, and frozen pizzas.

“No
need.  When’s your appointment with Ishmael?”

“Ulg,
don’t remind me,” I muttered. “Noon.”

“It’s
eleven thirty,” Jack informed me.

All
I wanted to do was go back to bed and hide from the world until it stopped
being crazy and my headache went away.

Only
one of those two things happened.  The Advil worked.

I
showered, and although I didn’t spend any time trying to improve my appearance,
I didn’t hustle either.  Ishmael could wait.  In fact, I rather
enjoyed the idea of him waiting.

I
used the ladies’ room in Ahromah to make my gate, not without grabbing a
high-voltage espresso first.  Ishmael was indeed waiting, almost fifty
feet away, sitting cross-legged in the long grass of the field.  As soon
as he noticed me, he rose to his feet and approached.  He had a wiry
build, with brown hair that matched my own and high cheekbones.  I could
almost
see traces of fey lineage.

Silence. 
I had so many questions, but no idea where to start.

“You’re
late,” he observed.

“Yup.”

“You’re
angry with me.”

“Yeah,
that’s putting it mildly,” I replied, an edge to my voice.

He
exhaled loudly and tugged on his ear absentmindedly.  “Where should I
start?”

“How
about from the beginning.” My voice dripped with sarcasm.

His
eye twitched.  “Okay.  Well, not all Exiles are good people. 
Some of them truly
are
criminals.  Your mother says an Exile named
Jack is helping you.  Do you know how far that will go?  I found out
I couldn’t trust them the hard way.”

I
waited for him to continue as he shifted, looking for words.

“The
Exiles laid a trap specifically designed to lure other Exiles.  They got
me instead of their kin.  Curiosity killed the cat, so they say.  I
couldn’t gate out since it was on the third floor of a building, and there was
a
nagali
with them.  She promised if I did as they said, she’d
leave me and my family alone.  I had no choice.”

“There’s
always a choice.  She didn’t have any magic.  How was she supposed to
do it?”

He
shook his head at me.  “She
did
have magic.  The bait was a
gate.  I don’t know who made it or how, but someone on
this side
did
it.  And remember, even a fey can pull the trigger of a gun.  And the
tasks they set for me were small at first.  But eventually it took
days.  Your mother couldn’t understand it, and I would never share
it.  The curse of being a gatewright is never telling anyone.  I did
it all to protect you.”

“Newsflash:
you did a pretty shitty job of protecting me.”

“You’re
alive, aren’t you?” he shot back, then collected himself.  “I didn’t have
much choice.”

“Except
where the part where you abandoned me and Mom, and, oh yeah, just failed to
mention that I was a fucking
gatewright
!” I almost screamed.

He
didn’t shrink from me at all but matched my volume.  “If you hadn’t been a
bloody
idiot
and volunteered to go on a suicide mission to Azry, you
would have never
needed
to know!  You would have lived a happy,
normal life, something
I
never had a chance at.”

“My
happy, normal life got blown to fucking
pieces
.  I don’t have my
home or my job anymore.  There is
nothing
normal about my life now,
thanks to your secrets.”

We
stood there in the middle of the sunlit field, fuming at each other, and then
Ishmael started to laugh, which pissed me off even more.  “My god, you’re
so much like me…”  Another gale of laughter blew through him.

I
really
wished I had Jack’s knife. 

He
collected himself.  “I’m very glad you’re safe, and I’d like to keep it
that way.  I’m here to help, however I can.  For example, closing
gates you accidentally leave open.”

No
way.  “How did you…”

“My
only daughter was walking into the hive’s nest.  If you knew what you
were, a
nagali
could have picked that up.  So I did what any
self-respecting father would do and kept an eye on you when you went to Azry.”

Conflicting
emotions warred in me.  He’d saved me, but rather late in the game.