Gathering Darkness (25 page)

LUCIA

AURANOS

A
s Cleo ran off, Lucia fell to the ground, bracing herself with her hands on the floor as the coldness inside her departed, leaving only the heat of her fury behind. Even with the ring in her possession, her
elementia
burned inside of her. And the more she resisted, the more it hurt.

You should have killed her
,
her magic hissed in the voice of her dead mother.

No. She couldn't kill anyone else.

She deserves it. She lied to you. They all lie to you and they use you. They don't care about you. They only want the Kindred. And you're only a means to an end.

The king will take what you give him and throw you away afterward without a thought.

All you are to them—the king, Cleo, Magnus—is a means to possess your magic for themselves.

Each of these terrible thoughts was like a dagger to her heart because she knew they were true.

And the more she realized it, the angrier she became. She stood and looked down at herself, realizing that she was covered in flames from head to foot: a blue fire that somehow left her dress, shoes, hair, and skin undamaged. She stared down at her hands, half fascinated, half horrified.

She went to the window and looked out at the perfect day. She concentrated until dark clouds amassed in the previously blue sky—a marriage of water and air magic. When the skies broke open with a storm, she went to the balcony, squeezed her eyes shut, and let the rain soak her. It doused her flames, but did nothing to chase away the darkness gathering within her.

That darkness that had begun to consume her.

You should
kill them all for what they've done to you.

Her eyes snapped open. For a moment, she imagined doing just that: using her magic to destroy the people who had claimed to love her, but who only used her. For a moment, the thought was pleasing.

But then she realized the horror of it.

Her hair and dress now soaking wet, she pushed away from the balcony banister and raced across her chambers, scattering the flowers she'd used in her lessons earlier that day.

In a daze, she left her room and stumbled down the hallway, not bothering to look at who might be around. She was sure she received some strange reactions to her disarray as she dripped water in her wake, but she didn't care.

“Princess,” a guard asked as she passed his station, “are you all right?”

“No,” she whispered. He started to trail after her offering further assistance, but she summoned air magic to press him against the wall, allowing her to slip away without resistance.

She wasn't sure where she was going until she got to the room in the servants' wing that had been given to Alexius. She'd protested the decision to give him servants' quarters rather than more opulent guest accommodations, but he'd said he didn't mind. He'd understood and said he liked it there just fine.

Lucia pushed the door open and went inside, trembling from both the cold water slick on her skin and the magic that slithered just beneath it.

She waited in the dark room and tried not to lose control, tried not to dip further into her powers for fear of what would happen next.

Finally, a sliver of light from the torches in the hallway brightened the room as Alexius opened the door.

“Lucia,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

Seeing him didn't give her the relief she'd hoped for; rather, it only intensified the pain she felt over what she'd nearly done. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

The torches on the walls began to blaze, distracting her for a moment. She hadn't done that; Alexius had lit them with his magic.

Suddenly he was taking her in his arms, his handsome face now a mask of concern.

“What happened?”

“I nearly killed her.”

“Who?”

“Cleo. She was lying to me, all this time. She betrayed both of us. I actually believed she could be my friend.” She inhaled raggedly, feeling more heartbroken than she'd thought possible over that deceptive girl. “But I was stupid. So stupid to trust her, even for a moment. I can't trust anyone!”

“Lucia. Look at me. Please try to breathe.”

“I wanted her to die. I wanted to make her scream in pain for what she's done. I know that's wrong, that it's horrible. So horrible.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. “It's not wrong.”

“How can you say that? I'd begun to believe my magic was good, but if it can make me feel this . . . this darkness I can barely control even with this ring . . . then how can it be right?”

“You have to stop doubting yourself. There's darkness in the world, of course, but there's always a balance to it. You're living proof of that balance. To accept the good, you also have to accept the bad. If you keep fighting this truth, it will only tear you apart.” His expression grew anguished. “Damn it. I don't want lose you. I don't want to ever lose you. Do you understand?”

“But, Alexius—”

He pulled her closer, his hands on either side of her face, and kissed her deeply. She gasped with surprise against his lips, then sighed with relief. This was what she needed—his touch, his assurance that all was well. His mouth against hers in a kiss that never stopped, only deepened further.

It was a kiss unlike any other they'd shared, comparable only to their first in her dreams, which had shattered her unconscious world to pieces all around her.

This kiss held every bit of passion that that one had, only this one was real, flesh and blood. But it too made her feel as if her entire world were breaking apart, this time leaving behind nothing but Alexius.

“Please,” he whispered against her lips, “don't ever doubt yourself. You're perfect to me in every way. I love you, Lucia. I love you so much.”

He kissed her again, and she fully returned it this time, opening herself up to the bright glow deep within her that helped chase away what darkness remained in her heart.

It felt so good. She wanted more.

Lucia worked to find the ties of his shirt, pulling them away to reveal the golden swirl on his chest. It was darker today than when she'd first seen it in her dreams and again in the throne room, appearing more as a tattoo than the physical evidence of his Watcher origins. She brushed her lips over it, feeling the rapid pulse of his heartbeat beneath.

He inhaled sharply, his hands gripping her arms, halting her. “Princess . . .”

She looked up at him with sudden doubt. “Do you want me to leave?”

He let out a very light chuckle. “No. I don't want you to leave.”

“So you want me to stay.”

“Yes.”

The single word pleased her greatly. “For how long?”

A shadow crossed his face. “Here in this room, alone with me?”

She nodded.

“If it were up to me, I'd never want you to leave,” he whispered. “Ever.”

She smiled up at him. His words were a salve for her invisible wounds, healing her and renewing her joy and hope.

“Good,” she whispered.

There was confusion and pain in his gaze, so much suffering that she wanted to ease. But alongside the suffering she also saw something deeper and endless, and directed only toward her.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked, his voice hushed as she pulled off his shirt, letting it drop to the floor. “You were so upset a moment ago; I don't want to do anything you're not ready for.”

“I'm sure,” she told him, more confident now than she'd ever been about anything. “And I am ready.”

“You're so young . . .”

“I am my magic, and my magic is as old as the stars.” She smiled, unwilling to give up. “And I've waited long enough. I love you. Make love to me, Alexius.”

She thought he might hesitate again, give her a look of doubt, or try to argue some more. But his silver eyes just filled with bottomless desire as he cupped her face between his hands.

“As you wish, princess.”

When he kissed her this time, there was no restraint. Just as the skies had opened up at her command and brought a storm down onto temperate Auranos, this kiss created a portal into a deeper, more beautifully chaotic corner of her soul.

At her command, Alexius was hers . . . both body and soul.

• • •

She couldn't lie about this, not even to herself. She'd imagined being with Alexius before, but her imagination hadn't done him any justice at all.

Her mother had often warned her about what it would be like to share flesh for the first time. She'd warned of the horrible things men liked to take from girls with or without their permission. How one's chastity had to be protected at all costs—most especially the chastity of a princess.

What a tall heap of lies those warnings had been. Love made all the difference—it always did. There was nothing foul or wrong about what she and Alexius shared.

Being with him fully, here, now, in his tiny room, on this small cot with his beautiful golden body covering hers . . . it had been perfection.

A pleasant shiver raced through her as he traced a slow line over her bare shoulder. She lay very close to him, with her hand pressed against his chest. His touch made it impossible to concentrate.

“Run away with me,” he whispered.

“And where would we go?” she asked, moving even closer to nuzzle his neck, sliding her lips along the column of his throat.

“Anywhere you want.”

Alexius offered such incredible possibilities, an endless and exciting selection of them. “My father would go mad if I ran away from home.”

“I have no doubt he would.”

“Then again, he'd also go mad if he knew I was here with you now, like this.”

His hand settled at the curve of her waist. “His head might explode, actually.”

She smiled at the very idea of it. “Cleo was nearly banished for making a similar choice, although she blames her loss of chastity on too much wine. I have no such excuse, do I?”

He stroked her long dark hair, twisting a thick lock around his fingers and studying it as if it fascinated him. But then he frowned and his gaze locked with hers again. “Do you have regrets?”

She pulled him closer, kissing him again. “I only regret that we waited so long. You've been here for nearly two weeks. So much wasted time.”

He groaned low in his throat. “You
are
dangerous, princess. But it has little to do with your magic.”

She grinned, feeling both wicked and happy. Who knew she could feel both ways at the same time? “I can accept that kind of danger.”

A bronze lock of hair fell across his forehead. “I should remind you that I am mortal now. I can be murdered by angry kings who find their innocent daughters in bed with their tutors.”

Lucia raised an eyebrow, her grin widening. “We have to make sure he never finds out.”

Alexius pushed her onto her back, holding her arms out to either side of her. “Marry me.”

Her breath caught in her chest. “What?”

“You heard me. If we ran away and got married, the king wouldn't have much to say other than congratulations.”

He had no idea what—and how much—he was asking of her, especially when considering how it would affect her family. “My father might still kill you.”

“It's a chance I'm willing to take.” He grinned at her stunned expression. “What? You said you loved me. You've just shared yourself with me in the most intimate way possible, wholeheartedly and without regrets.”

She shook her head before he could take her look of trepidation the wrong way. “You're right. I love you—I do. I'm just . . . There's so much going on right now. . . .” Her head swam with all of her troubles, all of her doubts. “I can't forget about what happened with Cleo. I—I'm better now, I am. I know I overreacted.” A shadow fell over her as he touched her cheek, tracing the line down to her chin. “But I still don't trust any of them. I know they want to use me. They'll never let me go.”

A flash of worry crossed his gaze. “I think you're right. There are probably many who would use someone with your abilities, your prophecy. You must be careful.”

His confirmation surprised her. “Alexius, I should have told you this already, but I did the spell again, by myself, to awaken the last crystal.”

He went very quiet. “What?”

“I know you wanted to be there, but I succeeded on my own. With no problems,” she lied.

A shadow crossed his expression. “I asked you to wait, princess.”

“I know you did. But everything is fine. The spell worked perfectly. The water Kindred is waiting to be claimed as we speak.”

He let out a long breath, his face still set in stern lines. “Very well, it's done. Tell me where you awakened it.”

“The Temple of Valoria.” She didn't see any flicker of surprise in his eyes, which told her she was right. The temple was without a doubt Melenia's fourth place of power.

It all made sense. On the maps she'd seen her father studying, the Imperial Road terminated close to the temple.

“There's been no disaster there,” Alexius said. “No blood has been spilled. And yet you believe this is the place.”

“I'm certain it is,” she said. But then a shadow of worry clouded over her confidence. “I shared this information with Cleo, to get a reaction. To see in her eyes proof that she'd been the one to betray us.”

“And if she does, and her rebel friend, Jonas, claims the crystal?”

“Then I'll steal it back.” As soon as she said it, she felt the truth of her conviction. Her doubts disappeared again.

“Good.” A smile played at his lips before his gaze grew pensive. “The Temple of Valoria is an excellent place for other important events as well, I think.”

“What do you mean?”

“It's the perfect place for us to be married.”