Geis of the Gargoyle (34 page)

"I will spy on them," Mend said.
 
"To make sure they are out of hearing." She vanished.

Gar shrugged, getting into his role of educated person.
 
"It is not as if we are able to conceal our activity from the servants," he pointed out.
 
"And why should we have any concern about their motives?"

Hiat's smile almost resembled a sneer.
 
"Always the positive outlook, eh.
 
Gar?" he remarked.

Gar concealed his irritation, lest he spoil his reputation.
 
In some other setting he would have liked to present the man with an item he had once seen: a punching bag.
 
This was an innocent paper sack that looked as if it contained something interesting, but when a person opened it, a boxing glove shot out and punched him in the snoot.
 
"At any rate, it is best that we proceed with our business expeditiously.
 
We shall need the servants' assistance, as we are unable to handle all the details ourselves.
 
We are simply too few in number."

'It's that infernal crossbreeding," the Queen said, scowling.
 
"There's absolutely no excuse for it, as the gargoyle is reliable and no elixir-pollution enters the city's water supply.
 
The fools must be sneaking out of town and drinking carelessly.
 
They think it's a myth, or that they're invulnerable, or they just don't care."

Hiat shrugged.
 
"This is the nature of youth, to be wild and gambling and full of potent juices." He eyed Iri suggestively.
 
"You look young yourself, cousin.
 
Do you not feel the urge?"

Iri flushed angrily.
 
"Your impertinence does not amuse us, cousin.
 
Were your contribution not essential to the project, I would find a pretext to have you banished."

Hiat made a rather too windy mock sigh.
 
"Ever the cantankerous royal presence.
 
Is it such an imposition to suggest that on rare occasions you take half a moment to relax? That would surely improve your disposition."

Queen Iri merely glared at him.
 
But Princess Supi evinced her amusement with a girlish giggle.
 
It was fun to hear the adults cutting each other up verbally.

Menti reappeared.
 
"Caution warning.
 
Brunch is arriving." She settled into her place.

Hanna and Desi appeared with covered platters.
 
These turned out to bear egg-ons lined with bake-ons and bakeoffs, pot-a-toe puncakes, sinnerman toes, and red, yellow, and orange juice.
 
Gar decided to accept it without question, suspecting that he wouldn't like the answer.
 
Menti did not eat, but that wasn't noticeable because she was kept busy catering to the Princess.
 
Hiat and Iri seemed to enjoy their repasts.

When they were done, Desi approached.
 
"Are my lords and ladies ready to retire to the observatory for the day's tutoring session?"

"Certainly," Iri snapped.
 
"Did you think we were about to go out bean harvesting?"

"I am sure they did not think that," Hiat said, his tone suggesting that only an idiot would have raised the issue.
 
"It's past season for those has-beans."

The little princess tittered, and Lord Hiat favored her with a conspiratorial smile.
 
It was clear that the two got along well, at the expense of other members of the group.
 
The rogue relative and the child.

The observatory was a dome in the upper section of the palace, shaped like a giant eyeball.
 
They could focus it on almost anything in the line of sight, and that turned out to be a fair amount of Xanth, because it was above the height of the city wall.
 
They could see beyond the Region of Madness to the rocks and rills of normal Xanth, where harpies perched in trees, merfolk swam in rivers and lakes, and many other crossbreeds and variants disported themselves.
 
But there were no straight human folk in view.
 
They had crossbred their species out of existence in Xanth, except for the desultory remnant here in Stone Hinge.

Hanna appeared.
 
"And here are my lord's notes," she said, opening a cabinet containing an assortment of scrolls.

"Thank you," Gar said gruffly.
 
He addressed Supi.
 
"Do you recall the essence of yesterday's lesson?"

"Not at all, master tutor," the child replied, smirking.

"Harrumph.
 
Then we shall have to go over it again." He unrolled a scroll.

"I'd rather go harvest has-beans."

"Hush, child," Menti murmured.
 
"Don't sass Lord Gar like that."

Supi turned a pair of eyes big with naughty innocence on her.
 
"Then how should I sass him, nanny?"

"Governess," Menti said patiently.

"Perhaps I can offer a suggestion," Hiat said, his devious smile implying nothing proper.

"Perhaps you can stuff it up your nose," the Queen retorted.

"Harrumph," Gary repeated importantly.
 
"I shall now review the lesson material."

The Princess opened her mouth for a sass, but it was intercepted by a glare from the Queen and had to be stifled.
 
Supi made a face; evidently the sass had a bad taste when held too long in her dear little mouth.
 
Hiat turned away, ostentatiously bored with the proceedings.
 
Menti relaxed, seeing that the lesson was getting under way at last.

The lesson concerned the proper formulation of the spell for the Interface of Xanth.
 
The artisans of the city of Hinge had been working on it for centuries, tediously perfecting its every trifling detail, and now at last it was ready to be invoked.
 
It consisted of a thin veil of repulsion around the west, south, and east coasts of the peninsula of Xanth, so that no Mundanes would even think to cross into magic territory.
 
In fact they would not even realize that they had turned away from it.
 
They would just avoid it, satisfied that there was nothing there of interest.
 
Or they might label it as some kind of void, a shivery sensation, a scare square or a shimmery circle.
 
Those boats that managed to cross over into magic territory would be assumed to be lost in storms.
 
It was good protection.

"Boooring," the Princess muttered, yawning.
 
It was clear that she was not the most avid scholar, and that there was nothing here of interest to her either.
 
It was as if she were surrounded by her own little repulsion veil.

The north side of Xanth, which was now rejoining the ugly mainland of Mundania because of the disappearance of the inlet of the sea, would be covered by a veil of slightly different texture: illusion.
 
It would make it seem that Xanth remained an island, separated from the Mundane coast by shark-filled water.
 
Sharks were the Mundane equivalent of small sea serpents.
 
Real sea serpents could not be used because they were magical, and there was to be no hint of magic, lest some idiotic Mundane put one and one together and realize that magic existed.
 
However, since it probably was not possible to eliminate the whiff of magic entirely, the spell would deflect its seeming position somewhat, so that the magic seemed to be off to Xanth's east, in the middle of the sea.
 
It would generate another scary feeling-

"A brrr mood!" Supi exclaimed, forgetting her boredom for half an instant.

Better that response than a closed mind.
 
Gar realized.
 
"Yes, a brrr-mood triangle in the sea, to make Mundanes nervous about the region, without ever quite being able to fathom why.
 
Very good, Supi."

"Brrr mood triangle," she repeated, pleased.

But since they did need to allow some access to Mundanes, because they were needed to replenish the human stock of Xanth, distressing as the prospect was, there would be one small section of apparent access.
 
This would be at the northwestern tip of Xanth, as far from the rest of the peninsula as possible.
 
It was hoped that this would give the Mundanes time to leam the ways of Xanth as they made their inept way on into it, and to have some children who would have magic talents, thus becoming true Xanth natives.
 
By the time these new colonists got down to central Xanth, they might even be bearable.
 
Many of them would of course be eaten by dragons along the way, which was another consolation.

"Dragonfbod!" the Princess cried, clapping her little hands.
 
"Chomp chomp!" She was beginning to get into the lesson.

But even this very limited access had to be restricted, because otherwise it would be like a pot with a hole in it:

endless slop could pour through.
 
Here was where the most sophisticated portion of the Interface was to come.
 
It would neither repel nor delude intruders; it would instead displace them somewhat in time.
 
Thus they would be confused when they entered Xanth, and probably would not manage to come through in force.
 
This portion of the Interface, being small, would be hard to find, and deceptive in its effect.

"Deceptive?" Hiat inquired, becoming interested despite his disdain for the proceedings.
 
"Folk merely pass through it.
 
So time differs on the other side; how are they to know or care about the difference?"

Gar wondered about that himself.
 
He perused the scroll.

"Because its effect differs, depending on the side you start from," he said.
 
"A Mundane crossing into Xanth has no control over the time in Xanth's history he enters.
 
When he crosses back, he has no control over the time or place in Mundania he returns to.
 
It seems random.
 
So he is likely to be lost.
 
He can't enter Xanth, return home, fetch his family or friends, and reenter Xanth where he left it.
 
This makes Mundane intrusion in force difficult."

"But what about the Waves?" Menti asked.

"Oh be quiet, you ignorant nanny," Iri muttered.
 
"There won't be any Waves for another thousand years."

"Governess," Menti said, chastened.

"Of course there could be groups of Mundanes crossing together," Gar said.
 
"So that families can come to Xanth without getting split apart.
 
But they can't cross back and forth without risking great confusion.
 
It seems like a reasonable compromise to restrain Mundane entry without stopping it altogether."

"Still doesn't sound deceptive to me," Hiat grumbled.
 
But the answer was in the scroll: when natives of Xanth, with magic talents, crossed the Interface, they could go to any time or place in Mundania they wished, with certain restrictions.
 
For example, there had to be a peninsula in that region of Mundania, because the Interface was attached to the peninsula of Xanth and had a natural affinity for the form.
 
It was also necessary to pay attention to the sea near the Interface, which changed colors.
 
When it was red, the crossing would be to a peninsula near a red sea or tide of Mundania.
 
When it was black, it would be to a black sea.
 
When green, a green sea, or maybe a green land by the sea.

"I want to go to a plaid sea!" Supi said.

"Don't get anachronistic," Iri said.
 
"It will be three thousand years before plaid makes its impression on Xanth."

The child, daunted by the impossibly complicated word "anachronistic," which no one in her right mind could understand, settled back into good behavior.