Geis of the Gargoyle (8 page)

He continued down until the water was over his head.
 
That didn't matter either; he didn't need to breathe.
 
He wondered how the flesh creatures managed, though.

Now he saw something.
 
It seemed to be a wooden structure.
 
Maybe it was an office.
 
But as he came to it he saw that it was just a collection of boards piled somewhat haphazardly together.
 
Gary was no neatness freak, but it did seem that these would take up less space if carefully piled, so he might as well do that before moving on.

He took hold of a board.
 
"Hey!" the board protested.

Startled, Gary paused.
 
"Did you talk to me?" he asked.

"Do you see any other ugly stone monster idiots in the vicinity?" the board demanded in a warped tone.
 
"What do you think you're doing?"

"I was just going to pile you more neatly, so you wouldn't be scattered around," Gary explained.

"Well, I'll thank you knot to interfere with our board meeting," it said.
 
"We want to get our business done before we season, you know."

"Sorry," Gary said, and quickly moved on.
 
He had not realized that boards talked, or that they had meetings, and was a bit embarrassed for his ignorance.

He came to a man reading a book.
 
Maybe he would know where Magician Trent was.
 
"I say, may I interrupt you a moment?" Gary inquired cautiously.

"I wish you would," the man said without raising his face.
 
His voice was somewhat muffled.

"I am looking for Magician Trent, who I understand is in this pool somewhere.
 
Could you direct me to his location?"

"Love to.
 
But I can't."

"Can't?"

The man lifted his face.
 
The book came up with it, covering his eyes.
 
"My nose is stuck in this book, and I can't see around it."

That did seem to be a predicament.
 
"Can I help you remove it?" Gary inquired solicitously.

"No.
 
My nose would come off my face if you pulled the book away.
 
Unless you know where there's some solvent?"

"I don't know, but I'll see if I can find some." Gary looked around, and saw a tree deeper in the water, grow-

ing as if on land.
 
There were many signs of activity around it, though at the moment nothing was actually moving.
 
So he approached it.
 
"Do you happen to have any solvent?" he inquired.

"Of course I have solvent," the tree retorted.
 
"I'm an industree.
 
It's one of the things needed in construction and manufacture."

Soon Gary had plucked a can of solvent from one of the industree's twigs.
 
He put a drop on the book attached to the man's nose, and it came free.
 
"Oh, thank you, stranger," the man said.
 
"It has been a bore, not being able to turn the page." He reburied his face in the book so firmly that Gary realized that it wouldn't be long before his nose got stuck again.
 
The man hadn't even noticed that Gary was not a human being.

He returned to the industree.
 
"Can you tell me where-"

"The first sample was free," the tree told him severely.
 
"You will have to pay the going rate for anything more.
 
Do you think I'm in business for my health?"

Gary hadn't realized that the industree was in business at all.
 
Embarrassed again, he retreated.
 
This was certainly a strange region! Apparently not all the things in it were suspended, because he had had no trouble talking with several, even if they hadn't proved to be very helpful.

Gary walked on.
 
He heard music, so he went toward the source.
 
It turned out to be a harpy with very stiff erect tailfeathers; she was reaching back and plinking them with her claws so as to generate a nice tune.

It occurred to Gary that if a human man hadn't helped him, and an inanimate board hadn't, and a tree hadn't, maybe an animal type of creature would.
 
But he knew that harpies were perverse, so this might require some finesse.

He approached the harpy.
 
"That's awful music," he told her gruffly.

"Why thank you!" she screeched, flattered.
 
"I'm a harpychord, and I love to annoy folk."

"You are surely succeeding.
 
And I know you'll never tell me where Magician Trent is."

"Yes, I'll never tell you to look twenty paces to your left," she screeched, plinking a few more notes.

"A curse on you, you miserable creature," he said, and turned to his left.
 
The harpy really had appreciated his comment on her music, so had answered his question in the only way she could, without soiling her reputation: negatively.

Twenty paces later he came to a handsome young man snoozing against a pillow bush.
 
He remembered that Magician Trent had been rejuvenated, so this could be him.
 
He did not want to disturb the Magician, but he didn't have much choice.
 
"Magician Trent?" he inquired hesitantly.

The man woke.
 
"Yes.
 
Are you lost? Just settle down anywhere you're comfortable; the moment you relax, you'll tune out, and years or centuries will pass in an instant."

"No, I was lost, but now I'm found.
 
That is, I found you.
 
I am Gary Gargoyle."

"Hello Gary Gargoyle," the Magician responded politely.
 
"You were looking for me?"

"The Good Magician didn't tell you?"

"Humfrey never wastes information if he can help it.
 
What did he tell you?"

"Actually he did not tell me much.
 
But others in the castle explained, I think."

"And what did they explain?" the Magician inquired patiently.

Gary grimaced.
 
"That you would transform me into manfbrm for this quest.
 
That I would have to baby-sit a difficult human child."

"Ah, yes.
 
Surprise.
 
She will be a handful."

"And that the Sorceress Iris would come with me."

The Magician nodded.
 
"Now it comes together.
 
Iris did want to go on a quest where she could be useful.
 
This must be it.
 
We shall have to notify her."

Gary was amazed.
 
"The Good Magician told you nothing about me? You have to take this all on faith?"

Magician Trent smiled.
 
He had a warm smile, and it was reassuring.
 
"I have known Humfrey a long time.
 
I understand his ways.
 
This is his way.
 
Come; we shall rouse my wife." He got lithely to his feet and walked deeper into the depths of the pool.

Bemused, Gary followed.
 
Trent led him to a weird kind of chamber.
 
It seemed to have been fashioned from old cooked cereal.
 
"She is of advanced years," the Magician remarked, glancing back.
 
"She prefers a soft residence.
 
This is her mushroom."

Now Gary recognized the configuration: a room made of mush.
 
Probably it was pretty soft throughout.

Inside the mushroom was a mushbed, and on the bed lay a distressingly ancient old woman, sleeping.
 
"Iris," the Magician said, "your quest has come."

The crone's eyes flickered open.
 
"Is it morning?" she asked sleepily.

"Who knows?" Magician Trent said, smiling faintly.
 
"Your quest is here."

Then another strange thing happened.
 
The three of them were abruptly no longer in a room of mush under dim waters, but in the receiving chamber of an elegant palace.
 
Rather, Gary and the Magician were; the hag had been replaced by an elegant queen of moderately middling age for her species.
 
He knew she was a queen, because she wore a crown as well as a sumptuous ornately bejeweled royal gown.

The Queen looked around.
 
"But where is the Quest person?" she inquired, a royal frown crossing her noble features.

"Allow me to introduce Gary Gargoyle," Magician Trent said, gesturing to Gary.

The Queen looked at Gary, blinking.
 
"But I can't stand gargoyles!" she protested.
 
"They're horrible dank stony grotesque monsters."

"And this," the Magician continued grandly, "is Queen Emeritus Iris, Sorceress of Illusion.
 
All that you behold at the moment is her work."

Gary was amazed.
 
He knew of illusion, but this was so much more than he had imagined that it was daunting.
 
The withered old harridan was making all this? It seemed so real!

"Pleased to meet you, gargoyle, I'm sure," the Queen said, seeming not sure at all.

"Likewise, your majesty," Gary said with similar conviction.

"Of course I am to transform him to manform for the occasion," Trent added.
 
Iris looked relieved.
 
"And Humfrey left me some youth elixir to delete seventy years from your physical age, my dear, when the time came.
 
It has come."

Iris looked delighted.
 
"I will be twenty-three again!"

"I wish I didn't have to be transformed," Gary said.
 
"But at least I can return to my natural shape after the quest is done."

"I assure you that such transformation will improve your-um, that is, that you will get used to it," Iris said, evidently making an effort to be polite.

"I have the impression you don't very much like me," Gary said.
 
"I assure you that the feeling is mu-"

"Impressions are transitory," Trent said quickly.
 
"It is wise not to judge by anything other than direct experience."

Iris nodded.
 
"I apologize for being prejudiced, Gary Gargoyle.
 
I had a bad experience some time ago, with which a gargoyle was associated, but actually the creature didn't do anything, and anyway I'm sure you're not like that."

"I hope I'm not," Gary said cautiously.

"Just what is the quest?" Iris inquired.
 
"I have to tutor a child."

"A child of merfolk?" she asked.
 
"I understand that gargoyles know something of water."

"It is the little daughter of Grundy Golem and Rapunzei," Trent explained.
 
"A tyke they call Surprise."

"I didn't realize that they had a baby delivered," Iris said.
 
"It must have been after my time."

"Yes, it was," Trent agreed.
 
"She was delivered to them a year and a half ago."

"A squalling baby!" Iris said with distaste.
 
"What kind of tutoring could a gargoyle give her? Swimming lessons?"