Gemini (15 page)

Cedric nodded, looking over at Callie for a few seconds and then turned back toward me. “It seems to me you’re doing an awesome job. I don’t think I have ever seen my sister this content.”

I smiled. “Thank you, that means a lot.”
It did.

Cedric didn’t move his eyes from me for even a moment. “Are you still working at the diner?”

I cleared my throat, becoming nervous at the intensity of his stare. “Yes, this is  my second job. I am still working with another young man as well after the diner on the days I don’t see Callie.”

Cedric nodded slowly as if to think about what to say next, then looked up at the headboard collage and flashed a smile at back at me. “So, you must have wondered what the Anderson Cooper fixation is all about,” he said laughing.

“Yes! What
is
that all about?”

Cedric shook his head in laughter. “No one can figure it out exactly. We think he might remind her of our dad, because of his white hair, maybe she misses him. But since she can’t tell us what she’s thinking, for the most part, no one knows for sure. A friend of a friend is his agent and I got her that autographed picture.”

“That’s very sweet…I wondered how she got that.” We laughed together until that dissipated into more staring.

Just as I was getting lost in his eyes, the light in Callie’s room started to flicker. It was almost as though the Awkward Gods were trying to intervene and save me from imminent death.

Then, the lights went out completely.

Here I was, sitting on Callie’s bed, next to Cedric, listening to the
Wheels on the Bus
song in the dark. I certainly could not have imagined this night ending up like this, not in a million years. But I knew I never wanted it to end.

“Ohhhhh…kay,” I said and we both laughed at the sudden darkness.

Callie remained unphased, the light of her iPad the only illumination in the room.

“Hang on, I’ll be right back,” Cedric said as he got up.

Cold air replaced Cedric’s warmth as he exited the room.

I didn’t want him to leave my side, even for a second. After being near him again for only minutes, I wondered how I would survive staying away from him ever again after tonight.

I shouldn’t have been having these thoughts, knowing he has a girlfriend but I can’t help being so attracted to this man. The resilience I had to stay away from him last time was nowhere to be found tonight.

I wanted him…badly.

And this beautiful man was so sweet to his sister. I would give anything to be with someone like him, to be with him in that way…to go with him, wherever he is going tonight.

Get a grip, Allison
.

Cedric returned with a new light bulb and began twisting Callie’s light fixture off. As he replaced the bulb, the light returned. It was brighter than before. He seemed to be having issues with securing the fixture back over the light.

As he struggled with it, his white cotton shirt rode up high as he lifted his toned arms and…
holy hell…
I could see almost half of his bare right side torso. I was stunned to see a large tattoo there. As I suspected, it seems Blue Eyes does have a wild side.

I hadn’t thought it was possible to be more turned on by Cedric, but seeing this took it to a new level. It was hard to make out the image, but it seemed to be a cross with roses on a vine with thorns wrapped around it and the word ART in the middle.
Not that I was looking closely or anything. Was he an artist? Art. Interesting.

“Ok, got it.” Cedric smiled as he finally twisted the fixture successfully and stepped down.

The curtain to his sexy side tattoo peepshow had officially closed.

“Let there be light,” I said.
What a dork I could be sometimes.

Cedric sat back down in between Callie and me. This time, the side of his leg was pressed up firmly against mine and I immediately felt my underwear getting moist from the heat of his touch. His leg was not brushing against mine, it was
pressing
against me. He was deliberately sitting as close to me as possible and it made me crazy.

“Allison, can I tell you something?” he turned to me, his icy eyes were piercing into mine again and I started to sweat.

I barely got the words out. “Sure,” I said.

Just when Cedric was about to speak, Bettina entered the room and we both turned towards her in unison.

She smiled at us curiously. “I see you’ve met my son Cedric. He surprised us tonight.”

“Yes.” I smiled nervously offering nothing more.

“Allison, I was just going to say you could leave anytime you want, but if you two are chatting, feel free to stay as long as you like. Bruno just left. Maria and Kurt are staying for more pie and coffee,” she said.

“Mom, I’d love some coffee…Allison?” Cedric turned to me, his eyes seemingly urging me on me to stay.

“Sure, coffee would be great,” I said.

“Cedric, you come into the kitchen in about five minutes, it’ll be ready then,” Bettina said as she walked away back to her guests.

              Just then, Caleb appeared at the door. “Sorry I didn’t get to spend much time with you little bro. I have to head back to Cow Hampshire.”

“Bye, buddy,” Cedric said as he stood up and they clasped hands. I saw Caleb give Cedric a knowing look. He was definitely thinking something was going on between us. I just couldn’t figure out if he was encouraging it or not, given his brother had a girlfriend.

              Caleb reached for my hand. “It was a pleasure meeting you, Allison.”

“You too, Caleb,” I said as I shook his hand goodbye. His hands were strong and firm like Cedric’s.

Caleb shut the door behind him, which hadn’t been closed entirely all night…until now.

Cedric returned to his seat next to me on the bed and the sexual tension was almost unbearable. This felt all sorts of wrong, especially with Callie sitting there next to us. Then again, the only naughty things actually happening were in my head; we weren’t actually doing anything wrong.

He turned his beautiful blue eyes toward mine again,  “Allison, what I wanted to say before was—”

The door opened suddenly and in walked Bettina with two coffees. She knew how I liked mine since she often made coffee for me when I worked in the afternoons. She handed me a cup and handed Cedric his and left without saying a word, just smiling, as we thanked her.

“This is just what I needed,” I said as I took a sip of the hot coffee, thinking that what I really needed was a cold shower.

“Mmm.” Cedric purred into his mug as he sipped. Hearing him moan like that was so erotic and my nipples felt it.

“Allison…um—”

Just as Cedric was about to get the words out again, Callie started humming and jumping up and down on the bed. I could see she was watching a clip from Anderson Cooper 360 on the iPad when it happened. Some of Cedric’s coffee spilled on the lap of my dress.

Cedric freaked. “Oh, God…shit…Allison, I am so sorry. Are you okay?”

I lied. “It’s fine…this is a thick sweater material, it didn’t seep through to the skin.”

Truthfully
,
I probably lost some leg hair and may have lost feeling in my right thigh…but it’s all good.

Cedric rushed out of the room and returned with a wet dishrag. He began rubbing the area with it and I swear I thought I was going to die. He was rubbing the top of my thighs. He was so close to me at this point, I thought I was going to melt into him. I felt like a pile of mush with him touching me like this and my being able to smell not only the cologne, but the smell of him, being so close. I think I briefly closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip.

He finally stopped and threw the rag on the floor, shaking his head.

“I am really sorry,” he said again, sighing, but never taking his eyes off mine.

I felt like I must have turned fifty shades of red. “Cedric, it’s fine, really.”

I looked over at Callie to distract myself from him. A wave of sadness suddenly overcame me and something inside me told me I should go home. I was sitting here on a bed with my poor autistic client oblivious to the fact that I was getting off on her brother who happened to be someone else’s boyfriend. I got up suddenly.

“Cedric, I really have to go. I have an early morning at the diner tomorrow. It was nice catching up again.”

Before he could respond, I rushed out of the room, putting my mug on the kitchen counter. I kissed Bettina, who was still heavy in conversation talking in Italian now to Maria, grabbed my coat and ran out the door
—literally—before Cedric could offer me a ride home. 

The next train left at 9:45 and I should be able to make it if I jogged the five blocks to the station. That’s what I did.  

***

I got there just in nick of time and hopped the train.

As I sat with my head leaning back on the wall behind my train seat, I started to cry. I was filled with so many emotions tonight, between my growing love for Callie, my lust for Cedric and the overall longing I felt to be part of a family like theirs.

My running wasn’t about how much I wanted to leave tonight…what was bothering me was how much I desperately wanted to stay.

As the train swayed, I thought about my mother and how much she loved me and hoped she was watching over me. We had so many good times, just the two of us. Memories of Mom flashed through my head as the train swayed and the tears fell: trips to Castle Island, mother and daughter Lifetime movie marathons, praying at St. John’s Church together, being able to confide in her about anything. I couldn’t have loved her more if she gave birth to me. As the thoughts of Mom continued, I thought about how I just want to do something in life that would have made her proud. I think she would be happy that I found Callie and Lucas and that I was making a difference in their lives.

Just then, my phone chimed and I looked down at a text that gave me the chills.

Allison, you are so beautiful inside and out. Your mother would be proud. That’s all I wanted to say. You left before I could. –Cedric.

***

Still reeling from the irony and timing of that text, after much internal debate, by the time I got back to my apartment, I had decided I would respond to him. I needed to find a way to acknowledge such a sweet sentiment without encouraging something that could never be. I plopped down on the sofa, noticing the eerie silence of my apartment, since Sonia had just left for the UK for the holidays. I wished she were here, so that I could tell her what happened. It was too late to call the UK.

I wanted to cry, looking at the text over and over. Cedric’s words could not have been more perfectly timed, since I had been deep in thought on the train about my mother when the text came in. The fact that he told me that my mother would be proud of me cut deep. The fact that he told me I was beautiful was the icing on the cake.

Tonight left me feeling very emotional.

I didn’t want to be alone this Christmas, which was Sunday, so I planned to have dinner at Danny’s house in Boston near Fenway Park and finally meet his new partner Paolo.

As I lay down, I tried to think about how to respond. Looking out the window at the Christmas lights adorning the house across the street, a tear fell down my cheek. Why did everything have to be so complicated? Why couldn’t Cedric be single? Why did he send me that text if he has a girlfriend? Why did it touch me so deeply?

As I pondered these things, I stared at my phone and turned it to camera mode. I could see my reflection in the screen and noticed mascara running down my cheeks. As I looked down at my red sweater dress, I noticed the stain from where Cedric spilled his coffee and decided I would definitely endure more burns if it meant being able to be close to him again.

I was struggling with my feelings over him tonight and the fact that even though he had a girlfriend, I couldn’t shake this connection. He apparently felt it too. It were those very feelings and my being able to sense his, that drove me out of there so fast.

Karyn Keller
...I had to remember he had a girlfriend…I needed to snap out of this.

I unlocked my phone and clicked on his message and typed a response.

Cedric, thanks so much for those kind words. I can’t tell you how much I enjoy working with your sister.

Send.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I let out a deep breath. I immediately regretted the casual tone of that message, but it was too late. I had already sent it. A part of me felt I should have taken that opportunity to let him know how I truly felt, even if he had a girlfriend. He wasn’t married after all. My thoughts began to race and my heart pounded furiously because I knew what I was about to do.

I typed again.

And I think you are beautiful too.

Send.

I waited and waited for a response, but it never came. Technically, he didn’t have to say anything, since I was responding to him. But I had hoped he would continue the dialog.  The ball was in his court. I had no regrets. The first text was the message I thought was appropriate to send, followed by the second text that came from my heart. He could take either one and do what he pleased.