Jack shook his head. “You should have to work a little bit harder for fire. At least fool a man into thinking he's needed.”
This was only one more reminder of how little he was needed around here, and how much he needed to be somewhere else. Back in the mountains of California, in a small town that had welcomed him with open arms. He didn't just miss the picture postcard surroundings of Harte's Peak, but its people. One person in particular.
“This gives you more time to relax.” Kimberly handed him a soda and started to line up the hotdogs.
Funny how hotdogs made him think of Lexi. He hadn't even had a chance to say good-bye. What would she think of him? Lexi had just started to warm up to him, and he'd left town. She was probably back to hating him again, if she even gave him a second thought.
Maggie was the real trouble. He woke up thinking about her, and couldn't lay his head down on the pillow at the end of the day without having her face pop into his head. She'd begun to headline his dreams, always smiling, usually singing. Never cooking. He wasn't a sadist, after all.
“How's work?” Kimberly asked, sitting down next to him at the picnic table.
“The usual.” Jack took a swig of the cold soda and set it down.
“You're just like Robert. Never talk about the job.”
“If I had something good to say, I'd tell you. In our line of work, there isn't anything you'd want to hear.” He caught himself referring to their line of work, as though Robert was still there. In a way, he was still with Jack every time he reminded himself to be sharp, to expect the unexpected, and never hesitate to react.
“Is it true that you'reâgoing to church?” Kimberly's eyebrows were drawn together, in either curiosity or concern.
On second thought, he felt certain it was concern he read in those eyes. Probably thought he'd joined some kind of cult, when he'd done nothing of the sort. Instead he'd found a great group of guys at Trinity Bible Church, some of whom happened to work in law enforcement.
He walked over to the grill to check on those hotdogs. “It's true. Please don't tell me you're worried about me.”
“Not worried, just hoping that it doesn't mean you're still seeking some kind of absolution.”
“More like redemption.”
“Uncle Jack! You're here,” Amber said as she opened the sliding glass door to the back yard and proceeded to launch herself into his arms. He spun her around and set her down. Alison wasn't far behind, but her age showed as she went for a friendly hug instead.
“Calm down. He's staying for dinner, so you'll have plenty of time to maul him later.” Kimberly got up and went inside the house, leaving him with the girls.
Alison began to rearrange the place settings Kimberly had already put out. The girl was a little perfectionist, Kimberly's mini-me.
“Are you still sick?” Amber asked.
“Sick?” He hadn't taken a single sick day since he'd been back.
“Mommy said you're sick. Really bad,” Amber said as she moved a napkin out of alignment and earned a glare from her sister.
“She didn't say he was sick, dummy.” Alison, sounding ten going on thirty, frowned. She said he was heartsick.”
“Oh,” Amber said. “Is your heart better now?”
Now Alison rolled her eyes.
Jack was transported back in time to another girl who had perfected that look.
“It's not the same thing, doofus,” Alison said.
Wonderful. Overnight he'd become the kind of person whose thoughts could be read that easily. “I'm fine,” he said, turning to the sliding glass door where Kimberly stood, red-faced.
He walked to her and took the plates that she carried in her hands. “Busted.”
“Alison, would you and your sister go inside and finish prepping the potato salad?” Kimberly asked.
Once the girls were inside, Jack turned to Kimberly. “Tell me I'm not that obvious.”
“I can't do that. You know I tell it like it is.” Kimberly took the hotdogs off one by one, placing them on each plate as he held it out.
“By all means, please do.” There wasn't anything he could do to stop it anyway.
“C'mon. I was there, and I saw the way you looked at Maggie. I saw the way she looked at you. Don't tell me you didn't notice.”
He'd noticed, but there wasn't anything he could do about it when he wasn't the man he'd have to be for Maggie's sake. “So?”
“Honestly, I didn't expect you to come back. I didn't expect her to tell you to come back. The two of you are made for each other. You both want to do the right thing despite how much it hurts you.”
He hadn't thought about it quite that way, but essentially the choices they'd made for each other had led them apart. Ironic. “I would go back, if I thought I could be half the man she deserves.”
Kimberly stared at him. “Really? Because from where I'm standing she'd be lucky to have you. Maggie is a beautiful woman and very sweet, too, but she's not perfect.”
He lifted a shoulder. “She can't cook. Or operate a lawn mower.”
“And she probably has many other faults, too.” Kimberly laughed.
Maybe he had stuck Maggie up on some pedestal where she didn't belong, but there was also the fact that he'd wanted to be a better man for himself. He'd wanted that close relationship with his Savior that Maggie had, and if he would be any kind of a leader in a Christian home, he'd have to take those steps on his own. Even Calhoun would see the logic in that.
“I had to come back, but now that I'm back all I can think about is what I left behind. But I felt that way in Harte's Peak. Will I feel that way again if I go back?”
“It wouldn't be the same now.”
He nodded. “Things are different.” The nightmares were gone, and he'd moved almost seamlessly back into the force. He'd been welcomed back with open arms and no judgment. The biggest change had come from within when he'd finally forgiven himself for having done the unthinkable. He wouldn't have been able to do it without the Lord. These days he looked into the mirror and saw a redeemed man, a man with a second chance, a man missing only one thing.
The woman.
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15
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“C'mon Maggie, it's only dinner and a movie.”
“No, Vera, I told you. I don't date.” When would Vera give up? Maggie didn't want to be introduced to Vera's latest boyfriend's best friend, brother, or cousin but after two months, she still wasn't getting the message.
“That's right. What you do is fall in love.” Vera turned the sign from “closed” to “open” and then faced Maggie with arms crossed.
No argument there. Maggie didn't date, but she hadn't done such a great job of guarding her heart after all. But the man had lived practically next door, and once she'd gotten to know him, her heart didn't stand a chance. No matter. She wouldn't make that mistake again. “All right. Point taken. Which is why I'm definitely for sure not going to date. Why take any more chances?”
She hadn't seen Jack again before he'd left. He'd obviously taken quite literally her request, her only knowledge that he'd gone being a brand new basketball he'd left for Lexi on their doorstep. A short note inside the package stated only that he hoped someday they could be friends again.
Maggie did hope so.
Her life had now settled into a peaceful, if somewhat lonely, routine. No more trouble with Lexi, thank God. No more teachers calling, and no more stealing. Who would have thought that facing her greatest fear would bring about the change they both needed?
Richard and Paula were allies now, not enemies. Lexi visited with them every other weekend, and even if boundaries were occasionally crossed, Maggie could tell that Richard was trying. In a rare and uncharacteristic moment of generosity, he offered to pay for Lexi's tuition to the college of her choice.
“Why take chances? How about because you're alive? Don't you want to feel the rush of being in love again? There's plenty of fish in the sea.” Vera moved behind the counter and started to clean the espresso machine.
Plenty of fish in the sea.
Yes, but none of them were Jack. And no, she didn't want to feel that way again, thank you very much. Having one's heart ripped out seam by seam was not pleasant or beautiful, no matter what the poets said.
Maggie turned toward Vera. “When I'm ready, you'll be the first to know it.”
“I hope it's not too late by then.” Vera glanced up from the espresso machine but then stared at something over Maggie's shoulder. Vera's eyes widened a bit, making Maggie turn around to find out which customer had caused such a reaction.
Jack.
Heavens, he was like a GQ dream, dressed in a white button up Henley and jeans. Had he ever looked this good before? The perpetually crinkled forehead appeared relaxed for a change. His eyes no longer reflected despair, but instead simmered with something likeâ¦hope?
Maggie couldn't move, and only did so when Vera sidled up next to her and elbowed her. Hard. “Ahem. We have a customer.”
“Right. Hi. Hello. I mean, welcome back. What will it be, the usual? Of course, you'll have the usual. Americano, Vera.” She turned to shout the order to Vera, who unfortunately still stood only inches from her.
Vera winced and rubbed her ear. “Got it.”
Jack smiled. “An Americano would be great, but what I'd really like is fifteen minutes with my favorite barista.”
“I'm busy working. Unless you didn't mean me.” She threw a glance in Vera's direction, whose forehead wrinkled in confusion.
“I did mean you, Maggie.”
Of course he did. Maybe she was having some kind of a stroke. She didn't seem to be putting two and two together at the moment, but that might be because her heart was beating in time to a heavy drum solo.
Vera came up behind Maggie again, practically shoving her from behind the counter. “The boss says you can take a break.”
Maggie found herself inches from Jack now, the messy apron she wore a reminder of the first time she'd ever laid eyes on Jack Butler.
This time she remembered to remove her apron as she led him to a table near the back. Hands shaking, she pulled out a chair and sat down. Jack wanted to talk. The last time they'd talked, it was to say good-bye. He hadn't loved her enough to stay, so what was he doing back now?
She folded her hands in front of her. “So. What do you want to talk about?”
“I've missed you, Maggie.” He smiled, taking her hands in his own.
Her hands unclasped and went willingly with him. The traitors. “What are you doing here?”
“You're mad.”
“That's beside the point. Are you going to answer the question or what?”
“All right, that's fair. I'm here because I'm back to stay. I got my old job back, too. Calhoun left a spot open for me. I guess he knew even before I did that I'd be right back. Maybe because he saw the way I feel about you.” His warm eyes were simmering with desire.
Maggie's breath hitched. Her poor old heart couldn't go there again. “But you left. I can't go through that again. Remember, Jack, I have a daughter and everything I do affects her, too.”
“I know. It's why I had to go away and make sure I could be the kind of man you need, the kind of leader in the home that you and Lexi both deserve. I'll be honest. I didn't think I could be. You deserve so much better than me, but I want to know if you'd at least give me a chance to prove that I can be that man. I can take care of you and Lexi.”
Her resolve melted. Not a surprise because this was Jack after all, but how could she risk her heart again? “You've changed, somehow. And it isn't just the beard.”
“Do you like it?” He rubbed his chin, smiling. “It doesn't have to stay. I'll leave that up to you.”
As it so happened, she thought the beard made him heart-melting handsome, not that he required any help. “I like it.”
“The real difference is inside, Maggie.” He let go of her hands and touched his hand to his chest. “Now I've forgiven myself, because Christ first forgave me. To do anything less than what He'd do is just stupid.”
That was the difference in him, and no wonder. Jack had finally come back to God, to the place where he belonged.
Maggie swallowed the sob of emotion in her throat. “I'm so happy for you.”
“I finally understand why my grandfather forced me to church all those years ago. Going wasn't a chore to him, it was a privilege. All he wanted was for me to find that joy, too, and though it took me a long time, I finally have. And it's because of you.”
“Would you kiss her already?”
Maggie turned to see a smiling Ryan standing near the counter with Vera. He'd come in when Maggie wasn't paying attention, or maybe while her heart beat so loudly in her eardrums all other sounds had faded to the background.
Jack stood. “Give me a minute. I have to do one thing first.” He knelt beside Maggie's chair. “Before I left, I told you I loved you. And I meant it. Will you marry me, Maggie?”
Her lips quivered so that she didn't think she could formulate a response as she stared into the eyes of the man she loved more than she'd ever thought possible. “Yes,” she said before he could change his mind. “I love you. With all my heart.”
Then Jack kissed her, more passionately than he ever had before, as though he'd left behind all the ghosts of the past. He was hers now, completely. “She said yes, in case you missed that,” Jack shouted to Ryan.
Yes. Yes to a great love again, for the second time in her life. Yes to second chances, yes to loving without holding back, and yes to the God who graced her with more happiness than she could ever deserve.
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Epilogue