Genevieve: Bride of Nevada (American Mail-Order Bride 36) (6 page)

Damn it was hard.

*****

Genny received a letter from Julia. It arrived in her hands about two months after Julia had written it what with the general slowness of the mail and the lack of frequency that they went to town.

September 22, 1890

Dear Katie and Genny,

My dearest friends, I already miss both of you so much. I have arrived safely in Wickerton, New York. I wish I could tell you it went smoothly, but unfortunately, my intended groom took an issue with my limp.

I was mortified to have him leave me at the train station, with the poor sheriff stuck having to tell me Mr. Johnson didn’t wish to marry me, after all.

Since that time I have come to be rather grateful the man didn’t want to marry me. The sheriff has been kind enough to give me a job at the jailhouse until I can find other employment.

Please know that my love and thoughts are with you both.

Love,

Julia

Genny wanted to write her and Katie back right away. She’d been remiss in her correspondence and hadn’t written either of them yet. But she missed them both so much. There were so many new things and sometimes she just wished she could hug her friends and tell them everything that was in her heart and on her mind. She’d have to ask for materials to write the letter.

She found Stuart in the barn.

“Stuart, I need stationery so I can write my friends. May I use some of yours?”

He didn’t look up from where he mucked a stall. This was something he hadn’t asked Genny be able to do, thank goodness.

“It’s in the middle drawer of my desk in the office, help yourself. When it’s done and ready to mail, put it on the table in the entryway.”

“Thank you.” She walked to the door, but had to stop and look over her shoulder at her husband. He was shirtless and she saw every muscle as he worked. Muscles pulled across his back and thickened his arms. His body was beautiful, like a work of art.

“Have you looked your fill?”

He asked with laughter in his voice.

Genny gasped and hurried out, his laughter following her.

*****

November 1, 1890

Dear Katie and Julia,

I hope you don’t mind that I made the letter to the two of you. I also hope that this reaches you and finds you both well and happy.

My new husband, Stuart MacDonnell is kind and very handsome. I couldn’t figure out why a man like him would send for a mail-order bride. He said he needed someone quickly. Didn’t want someone he’d have to court for two years and pretend to be in love with, before they married. I suppose that makes sense, it does to him anyway.

I don’t know if I believe him or not. But he didn’t waste any time marrying me. The ceremony happened in a judge’s office about thirty minutes after I arrived.

Stuart has told me he doesn’t want any more children. Had I known before I may not have come, although he does have two beautiful children that I’ve fallen completely in love with. Three-year old Billy is a rascal and adorable. He has blond hair like his mother and his father’s gorgeous blue eyes.

Lucy is six-months old and the most wonderful baby I’ve ever known. She grabbed my heart as soon as I saw her. She has brown hair that’s in soft curls all over her head and again her father’s blue eyes. She’s so funny. Babbles all the time and laughs like she’s just told you a funny story.

And that’s my new family. I already adore them, including, I’m afraid, their father. If he would just let me in, we could have such a wonderful marriage and a good life. I don’t know what I’ll do if he won’t let me in. I don’t know if I can live in a situation without love or at least the possibility of gaining it someday.

I keep telling myself that it doesn’t matter. I don’t need love. But it’s a lie. I do need it. I need it to survive. I need it for my very soul to be nourished and happy. I haven’t said this out loud but I needed to get the words out.

Thank you both for letting me carry-on so, though I know you didn’t have any say about it. I miss you both so much and I hope that you have found the loves of your lives and that they love you back.

I guess that’s the problem. I have found the love of my life and he doesn’t love me back.

I hope you hear from you both soon.

My love to you both,

Genny

*****

It was almost the end of the two weeks Stuart had given her to get Billy acclimated to his new morning routine. Genny continued with her plans for Billy. She woke him and dressed him in the mornings before breakfast. He was slowly getting used to the new schedule and Genny couldn’t have been more pleased.

Stuart merely grunted.

She was glad to get that much sound out of him. With each passing day he’d grown more standoffish. Except in bed. Most mornings Genny awoke and Stuart had an arm flung across her. She had to admit she enjoyed the feeling, pretending he meant to be cuddling her. She’d gotten very good at moving his arm to get out of bed without waking him.

At least she thought she had. At the end of the second week she was there she was changing into her clean chemise and bloomers in preparation of laundry day. She’d already removed her bloomers, had just lifted her dirty chemise over her head when she looked up and caught Stuart staring.

Genny had to stop herself from covering up which was her immediate reaction, as him seeing her was a violation of the marital rules she herself set in place. Then she decided since she had his attention she’d take advantage of it. She locked gazes with him and watched his eyes turn dark with what she thought must be desire. Slowly, she pulled her clean chemise over her head, keeping his full attention, then pulled up her bloomers and finished dressing, leaving without a word to get the children.

Stuart hadn’t taken his gaze from hers for the entire time she dressed. But he hadn’t said anything either. Just stared, like he was a hungry man and she was a meal.

She was getting to him.

Genny smiled.

*****

November 22, 1890

Six weeks had gone by since her arrival and Stuart was getting grumpier and crankier. And not just with Genny, with everyone.

Genny just smiled.

On one glorious morning at the breakfast table, she decided to approach him to take her to town. “Good morning, Stuart.”

“Morning,” he growled.

“I’d like to go into town and pick up a few things at the mercantile. I know you’re planning on going today to get supplies and I’d like to go with you.”

“What are you buying?”

“I want to get some things for the children. A slate for Billy and colored chalk if the store carries it. Perhaps the proprietor can order some different colors for me. I’d also like to get a storybook or two to read to him at bedtime.”

“I can pick up those things. You don’t have to come along,” muttered Stuart, taking a bite of sausage.

“Oh, take her with you,” said Joe, with a punch to Stuart’s left arm as he passed by on the way to the stove for more coffee and with a smile at Genny. “She’s been stuck with just us to talk to for weeks now.”

“Yes, then she can get the spices I want and perhaps choose another one she might like,” added Nettie. She winked at Genny.

Buying spices was a special treat, they were expensive and only the ones that Nettie or Genny used often were purchased.

Stuart frowned. “All right. You can come. But you have to be quiet.”

Genny grinned. “I’ll be quiet as a church mouse. You won’t even know I’m along.”

After the meal, she put on her best dress, a light blue calico and tied a blue ribbon around the bun she’d fashioned from her hair.

“You look very fetching,” Nettie said when Genny came back to the kitchen.

“Wish me luck.” She’d need all she could get, she wanted Stuart to kiss her, to realize she wasn’t just a body to warm his bed, but a real live person with needs and feelings.

“Oh, I do, my dear. I definitely do.”

“Sure you don’t mind looking after the children. You, of all people, know you won’t get anything else done today, but I’ll help with the ironing when return.”

“That’s fine. Just have some fun and try to get that man to open his heart.”

“Oh, Nettie.” Genny paced a short way along the kitchen counter and back. “I don’t know what I’ll do if he doesn’t. Both of us will be miserable in this marriage. I thought I could do it, be just a wife in name only. Never having kids of my own, but now I don’t know that I can.”

“Now, don’t be talking like you’re giving up. It’s too soon. The children love you. You’re a good mother to them. And you’re a good wife to Stuart as much as he’ll let you be.”

“That’s just the point. He won’t let me. Things are getting worse not better. He can barely stay in the same room with me. As soon as he can, he leaves.”

“But that’s a good thing.” She patted Genny’s arm. “He’s wearing down. Pretty soon you’ll be able to get past the wall he’s built.”

She sighed. “I hope you’re right.”

The air was cold but there wasn’t any wind, so riding in the buckboard wasn’t as uncomfortable as on her arrival trip. She wore her wool coat and a bright blue scarf that Nettie had given her along with matching wool gloves and socks.

For about thirty minutes she didn’t speak. Finally, she stuck out a gloved hand and began admiring it. “Do you mind that Nettie gave me Martha’s gloves and scarf? I know you said I could have her clothes, but saying that and then actually seeing me wear them are two different things.”

“I don’t mind.”

“That’s good. I really do like the scarf. I think it brings out the color in my eyes.” She pulled the scarf next to her cheek. “What do you think?”

“I suppose,” he said without looking in her direction.

“Turn your head and look at me, Stuart. I promise I won’t bite.”

“No, but I may,” he grumbled in a whisper.

But he looked.

She smiled.

He wrapped the reins around the brake handle and slowly shook his head.

“You’ve awakened the sleeping bear. Are you prepared for the consequences?”

He didn’t give her a chance to answer, but pulled her close, angled his head and slanted his mouth across hers. The kiss was ferocious and all consuming. He pressed his tongue against her lips, waiting for entrance.

She granted it, and his tongue entered her mouth and explored. Genny’s pulse beat a fast tattoo and her arms wound themselves around his neck. At the same time, his hands at her waist tightened and brought her as close to him as she could be with all these clothes on.

She wanted to be closer, her body pulled at her to complete this, she knew now that only making love would fill her as she needed to be filled. Only Stuart could complete her.

Suddenly she wished they were home and in their bedroom where she could explore these feelings. Perhaps then she’d understand why she felt so warm and liquid at her core. Why she wanted to feel her hands on his skin and his hands on her.

Stuart broke away and glared. “Look at what you do to me. I’m a raving madman. I’m sorry, Genny. That shouldn’t have happened.”

Pressing a hand to her tingling lips, she shook her head. “I’m glad you kissed me. I’ve wanted you to for so long.”

“You know I can’t give you what you want. Let’s forget this ever happened.”

“How can you forget that kiss? It was the most amazing…the best…the—”

He cocked an eyebrow. “How many times have you been kissed?”

Stuart unwrapped the reins from the brake handle.

Genny, blood still racing and her cheeks burning, she looked out on the countryside. “A few.”

“Not many I bet.”

“Enough to know that what passed between us was special.”

His voice was harsh and he looked straight ahead, not at her. “It was lust. Nothing more. Are you familiar with lust, Genny? It’s not love or anything like those kinds of feelings. Just physical desire for your body, not you. Any woman will do.”

She gasped. Genny felt like she’d been slapped in the face. Did he really believe that all he felt was lust? She didn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe it because if that was true, she had no hope. But he must like her as well or he wouldn’t keep pushing her away. And if that was true…she smiled. She could build on that feeling.

CHAPTER 5

Over the next three hours, the weather slowly deteriorated, the temperature dropped and the wind started to blow. By the time they reached town they were both frozen and glad for the warmth of the potbellied stove in the back corner of the mercantile.

Edna Cross came forward as soon as she heard the bell. “Well Stuart, you’re a long way from home on this blustery day.”

“Hello, Edna.” Stuart removed his gloves and stuffed them in his coat pockets. “Had to drive in for supplies. I’d put it off as long as I could.”

“Are you finally going to introduce me to this young lady with you?”