Gentle Curves (Dangerous Curves Book 4) (8 page)

Chapter Eight

“Tell me about all of this stuff.”

Mirrie raised her tousled head from Shane’s bare chest. “What stuff?”

“This.” Gently, he ran his fingers over her neck tattoo, her piercings, her bright pink hair. “Why’d you decide to get it all done?”

“Oh, right.” She nestled closer to his large body and he wrapped his arms around her naked curves. “Well, a few reasons, really.”

“Hmmmm?” Mac pulled the bedcovers over her more tightly. “I’m listening.”

Mirrie smiled. “Well, first and most obviously, to hide.”

“From me?” he asked quietly and with no anger. He understood her choices now, he really did.

“Partly, yeah. Partly I was trying to hide from the MC. But really, I was trying to disguise myself from
everyone
who may have known me before.”

“Before you were Miranda Campbell.”

“Right. I mean, like I told you, I left Denver when I was eleven, but I came back and worked here after I finished high school, so some people
did
know me from my office job.”

“What kind of office?” Mac ran his fingers up and down her back, loving her silky skin. Fuck, he
still
couldn’t believe that she was here in his arms, in his bed. That he’d made love to her over and over again since the first time the night before. That she was warm and soft and so damn sweet all curled up against him. “What kind of people?”

She grinned. “It was a candy factory, if you can believe it.”

Mac laughed. “I can, actually. You and your sweet tooth would have been
very
happy there.”

“Oh, we were.” She traced the tattoos that circled his biceps, followed their lines up his shoulders and across his chest. “The factory made chocolate bars and we always had some around the office… samples and presents and extras.” She glanced down at her body ruefully. “I managed to keep my weight under control at the office, but I know I’ve gained a lot since you last saw me – that’s from quitting smoking while working at The Web Café. Spider’s an incredible baker, damn him.”

“Yeah, he is. And I like you like this.”

She looked up and met his hot gaze. “You do?”

“Ummmm. Yeah, babe.” His large hand was tracing the curve of her hip now, running down her thigh. He pulled her closer and kissed her softly. “I love your body. Love its shape.”

“Really? You don’t miss the way I was before?”

“Nah.” Mac shook his head. “Back then, you were so fragile. I worried about hurting you when we were together sometimes.”

That surprised her. “You did?”

“Oh, yeah. I knew what you’d been through, how badly you’d been damaged.” His blue eyes were hard with the rage that he always felt when he thought about what she’d endured. “I was careful with you.”

“You were,” she said, remembering those large hands moving so tenderly on her. “Always.”

“But now?” Mac flipped her under him and she gasped as he stretched the length of his hard, muscled body over her smaller one. “Now I can be more – energetic.”

Mirrie smiled up at him. “I noticed.”

“Did you?” He leaned down, took her lip ring between his teeth and tugged. She gasped again, then moaned when he kissed her, blazing-hot and intense. Her hands came up and tangled in his hair and he growled deep in his throat.

“Shane,” she whispered.

He heard something in her voice and he raised his head. “Right here, babe.”

“I –” She hesitated.

He stared down at her and smoothed her hair back from her face. “What?”

“I – I missed you. So damn much.”

“I know.” He tucked a few wild strands behind her ears. “I missed you too.”

She was silent for a minute and he saw her gathering up courage for something.

“What’s going on?” he said. “What’s on your mind?”

Mirrie took a deep breath. “You go to Curves, right? You’re a regular?”

“Yeah.” Mac was puzzled at the abrupt change in topic. “I hang out there with the boys a few times a week, when I’m not traveling and doing consultations.”

“So you – you use the back rooms?” Mirrie forced out the next few words. “The fuck rooms?”

Mac heard the fear and distaste in her voice and he tensed up a bit. God, the temptation to lie to her was immense, but secrets and lies had gotten them exactly nowhere so far. When Mirrie had fallen asleep in his arms the night before, he’d laid awake for hours, just holding her and listening to her breathe… and he’d promised himself to never keep anything from her. No matter what it was.

“You want to talk about this?” he said, holding himself very still. “You sure?”

“Uh-huh.”

“OK, then.” He sighed. “The truth, yeah?”

“Yes.”

“The truth is that after you disappeared, I wasn’t with anybody for over a year.”

She blinked. “You – really?”

“Really.” He rolled over on to his back, bringing her with him. Mirrie propped her chin up on her fist, rested on his chest. “I was waiting for you, babe. I was waiting for you to come back to me.”

“Oh. Oh, God, Shane. I’m sorry.”

“No more apologies about any of that,” he said, his voice gruff. “Not ever again, OK?”

“…OK.”

“At first, I was totally frantic and I barrelled off to the police. Stormed the fucking place and shouted until someone listened to me. Filed a missing person’s report, put up ‘Missing Woman’ posters all over the damn city.”

“That was you?” Mirrie said, stunned. “You hung up those posters on the phone poles and in the stores?”

He paused. “You saw them?”

“Yeah, sure. They were
everywhere
for about three weeks.”

“I know. I made sure of it.”

“And I made sure to rip them down every time I saw one,” she admitted. “In fact, I’d sneak out late at night after Spider had fallen asleep and drive around and tear down every single one that I saw.”

He stared at her for a second and then grinned. “So that was
you
, huh?”

“Yep.” She half-smiled and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” His kiss took the sting out of his words. “I paid a damn
fortune
in photocopying fees.”

Mirrie giggled. “I bet.”

“Anyway, the cops didn’t take me seriously at all after about two days. I mean, your apartment showed no signs of foul play and all your personals were gone. Suitcase, toothbrush, clothes, phone, ID.” Mac stopped as the pain of his loss just hit him all over again. “They told me that it was clear you’d just cut and run. That you’d – left me. By choice.”

“Shane…”

“Hush, babe.” He touched her lips, stopped her words. “I know. It’s OK.”

She took a breath, amazed yet again at being forgiven.

“I tried to explain to them that the fact that all those things were missing didn’t necessarily mean anything. I mean, you’d been heading up to my cabin for a long weekend, so all of those things would have been with you when you disappeared. They weren’t very convinced, though, and then they lost interest completely when the apartment keys and the next month’s rent showed up in the mailbox downstairs, and your boss and landlord got apology notes.”

“Yeah.”

“So – that was it, really. I figured if you’d left me on your own, maybe you’d come back on your own too. And I waited and hoped. But then more time passed and I just didn’t know anymore and I started to think that maybe you were dead. That maybe whoever had beaten you up had found you somehow anyway… finished off the job.”

She flinched. “And you just – gave up?”

“I thought about asking King for help,” Mac said slowly. “But I never did.”

“How come?”

“Honestly? I was afraid of what he’d find.” Mac looked away. “I was afraid that he’d tell me you were dead – but I was
more
afraid that he’d tell me that you were healthy and happy and that you’d just left me because I wasn’t… good enough. Or that you’d never really loved me.”

“Shane,” she said. “You were the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Oh, yeah. I know.” He gave her his cocky grin. “And you also loved me madly, right?”

“I did. I do.”

“I love you, Mirrie.” He took her face in his hands, held her eyes as he spoke. “I love you so damn much and I’m going to do whatever it takes to keep you with me.”

She grinned right on back at him. “Oh, yeah. I know.”

Mac laughed, wrapped her in his arms again. “So you got the piercings and the tattoo and dyed your hair and dove in to a tub of makeup to change your appearance – I get all of that. But do you
like
it?”

“You know what? I really do.”

“And it helps you fit in at the café, huh?”

“Oh, for sure. You’ve seen Spider and you saw our clientele. I mean, yeah, we get some people from the offices around the area, but mostly we get students and creative types. Writers on their laptops and artists. They have a certain look, lots of them, and Spider hires staff with the same look.”

“I noticed.”

“So at first, Spider helped me change my appearance to look like the rest of the staff he hired and then… well. Then I liked it. It was sort of like playing dress-up, you know? Trying on a whole new personality and style and going after a whole new life and identity. And I found that, actually, I like the tattooed, tough ‘don’t-fuck-with-me’ chick look, even if I
do
miss my long blonde hair sometimes.”

“It suits you. This look.”

“You really think so?”

“Hell, yeah. You’re the toughest chick I know, remember?”

“Oh, right. I am.”

They smiled at each other and then Mac turned serious again.

“Anyway, for about six months after you disappeared, I kept the faith. Had hope. I searched for you and I called the cops and asked about any leads. Then I kind of… got depressed. Started to lose my way, I think. I’d pulled back from the guys and didn’t even notice that I was all alone anymore. I just worked every hour that I could handle and looked for you.”

“And the guys didn’t say anything about you blowing them off and acting weird?”

“Oh, no. They did. They knew something was way wrong and they called and tried to get me to meet them for a drink. But I put them off and ignored their calls and after about a year, they just stopped.”

Mirrie nodded.

“Then I woke up one day and just
knew
that you were gone.
That
was when I finally got angry and decided to move on from you for good. I decided to believe that you were still alive – the alternative was too fucking terrifying to contemplate, really – and that you’d just fucked off on me and that I hated you for it.” He threaded his fingers through hers, pressed a soft kiss to her palm. “I went to Curves that night and walked on in like nothing was wrong, like I’d never been gone. Jax and King and Aidan pushed pretty damn hard to find out what had happened, but I just avoided the whole topic until they dropped it.”

“And women?” Mirrie held her breath, dreading what he was going to say, but still needing to hear it. “You started seeing women?”

“I wouldn’t say that I
saw
anybody,” Mac said. “I – I was so pissed at you and I’d lost all faith in relationships. In love. You were the first person in the whole of my life that I'd let myself open up to, and it had all blown up in my face. So I decided to just have fun and hate you with the white-hot intensity of a thousand burning suns and that was it. Never again was I going to really care about anyone the way I’d cared about you. I decided to go back to my whole life approach of never taking anything seriously except for my job. Everything else was a big fucking joke. It was – easier that way. Better.”

“So it was always casual? With the women at Curves?”

“Completely.” Mac winced. “I was with lots of women, Mirrie. I can’t say that I’ve been anything
like
a saint since you left… in fact, I’ve been quite the sinner.”

She tightened her grip on his fingers. “It’s OK, Shane.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure. I was gone and you didn’t know if I was alive or dead and if truth be told, I had no intention of ever coming back to you. You were a free man, honey, and you had the right to be with as many women as you wanted.” She kissed his chest. “And you
did
wait and believe in me for over a year. That really tells me something.”

“And you, babe?” Mac forced the words out. “You been with anybody all this time?”

“No.”

He paused. “Just – no?”

Mirrie looked away. “Just no. I couldn’t put anybody else at risk… the thought of the Fallen Angels hurting another man just because he was my boyfriend was too much. I decided to never put any man in the line of fire like I’d done to you.”

“You didn’t –”

“I
did
, Shane. You still have no idea how close you were to dying that day up at your cabin, do you? Trust me – you were in the crosshairs and you were there because of me. I put you there because of who I was and where I came from.” She shook her head. “No way that was happening again if I could help it.”

“So you’ve been alone this whole time.”

“Yes, I have. And so have you.”

“Babe, I just told you: I’ve been one hell of a womanizing bastard.”

“But you were alone, really.” She held her hand to his cheek. “In all the ways that really matter.”

At her gentle words, a wave of emotion moved across his chest. It was warm and huge and he knew that it was relief. Relief at being forgiven for having given up on her, for having given in to his anger and hatred. Relief at being given a second chance – one that he felt that he barely deserved. Relief at her just
being
here, whole and safe and so fucking gorgeous.

“But I’m not alone now,” Mac said, his voice thick. “I’m with you.”

“Yeah, you are.” Mirrie kissed him, loving this glimpse of Shane’s rarely-seen vulnerable side. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

“Promise?” He held her closer, tighter, harder. “You promise me?”

“I promise. You’re stuck with me, honey.”

“Good.” He cupped her breasts and stroked her nipples with his thumbs. Mirrie gave a small moan and he lowered his lips to take her mouth. “‘Cause that’s all I’ve ever wanted, babe.”