Gentleman's Guide 01 - His Impetuous Debutante (9 page)

Phoebe blushed and looked down at her
cup. “Yes.”

“
Victoria is concerned.
You have never played these particular pieces for so long without
moving on.”

“
I am sorry I worried her.
I’ll see her in a little while.” Neither brother nor sister spared
a glance to Taylor. For the first time in her life, Lady Phoebe
appeared obedient, if that was a word that could describe her.
Felding studied her, as if trying to determine what was
wrong.

“
Perhaps you would like to
actually discuss what is troubling you for a change.”

Lady Phoebe sighed. “It is really
nothing that won’t be solved at the end of the Season.”

“
The Season is bothering
you? Did something happen?”

She allowed a small, comforting smile
to her brother. “Yes, in a way. I did a lot of thinking last night
and finally realized how reckless I have been. You know me, Noah,
and how I am with rules. The rules and games here baffle me.
Everyone wanting to think the absolute worst instead of accepting
honest explanations. I realized how many times my actions could
have brought embarrassment and disgrace to you and mother. I
apologize for that.”

“
I know this is not easy
for you, Phoebe. You have never been governed by society and have
always enjoyed immense freedom at home.”

She stared down at her cup.

“
Would you like to go
riding today? I know that always makes you feel better.”

She looked up and smiled. “That would
be wonderful, but no. Being forced into a side saddle would only
add to my frustration at the moment.”

Felding laughed. “I am surprised you
didn’t bring your britches with you.”

“
Who said I didn’t?” She
half smiled.

Taylor simply observed the
strange conversation, wishing he hadn’t heard. Envisioning Lady
Phoebe astride a horse in britches did nothing to help
his
predicament.

They quieted and Lady Phoebe became
serious. “Noah, I promise to think more clearly from now on about
where my actions could lead me. I’ll do my best not to cause you
problems any longer.” She turned to Taylor. “I am sorry if I have
been a burden, Lord Sandlin. I’ll do my best to stay out of trouble
so you can enjoy the remainder of the Season as well.”

He was somewhat startled by her
apology. She truly meant what she said, but it was as if some of
the life had gone out of her. “You have been anything but a burden,
Lady Phoebe.”

“
You are being kind.” With
that she stood and turned her attention to her brother. “Now, if
you will excuse me, I think I will get some rest. I didn’t sleep
well last night and there is a long evening ahead.” She was
directing her comment to Felding and not Taylor.

Both men stood. “Until this evening,”
Taylor said.

She acknowledged him with a nod and
left the room. The two sat back down.

Maybe he had been too hard on her last
night. Yet, he couldn’t and wouldn’t change that now. The Season
would end eventually. Perhaps she would receive an offer she would
like to accept or return to the country where she was free to be
herself once again. The idea of her marrying any of the men who
showed interest bothered Taylor. He could think of no one who would
understand her, or who wouldn’t try to mold her into an obedient,
well-behaved wife. None would appreciate her openness and honesty.
She wouldn’t be happy with that kind of man. She needed someone who
didn’t care that his wife was different from the rest, who would
love her easy laughter and reckless nature. Someone who would live
in a constant state of frustration because of her temerity, but
still love her all the same. Being married to Lady Phoebe would be
wonderful and exciting and there wasn’t a man he knew who would
appreciate the rare person she was.

“
Remind me that when an
offer does finally come, that she would accept, to make the
gentleman promise to have pianofortes in the houses where they will
reside.” Felding got up and poured them something stronger than
tea.

“
Why is that?” Taylor’s
curiosity was getting to him.

“
Believe it or not, Phoebe
tends to keep her most personal emotions inside. The music she
plays is often the only clue we have to her true emotional
state.”

Taylor didn’t comment. He found it
difficult to believe that Lady Phoebe kept anything
inside.

“
When Father died, she
barely shed a tear after the initial news. While we didn’t know if
Mother would recover, Phoebe stuck by her side, taking over the
duties of mistress to the house and seeing to my sisters. It was
only her playing Beethoven, Pachelbel, Vivaldi or Hayden for the
following months that reminded us that her mourning was as deep as
ours, if not deeper.”

Taylor just nodded his
head.
More personal
emotions
. Perhaps it wasn’t the lesson he
had thought to teach her last night that had her so disturbed.
Perhaps she was awakened to the same frustrations plaguing him. As
much as he wished it were so, he also knew it was impossible to
pursue.

Phoebe continued to remain at her
brother’s side at every function they attended. Well, at least when
she wasn’t dancing. And, she never missed a dance with Lord
Sandlin.

“
These evenings have
become quite mundane now that you are such an exemplary young
lady.”

“
Please, Lord Sandlin,”
she begged. She hoped he wouldn’t mention the night of her
excursion. She wished she could forget it.

“
I admire the restraint
you have shown.” He looked down at her, then twirled her across the
floor. “I’ve seen the longing in your eyes when you look toward the
gardens.”

“
I will survive. Soon, I
will be in the country again, where it cannot be nearly as
stifling.” She wished he would leave her be. There was no reason
why he had to be anywhere in her vicinity. Didn’t he know how much
it pained her to care for him when he considered her nothing more
than Noah’s troublesome sister?

While suitors came by on a regular
basis, Phoebe did not find any of them the least bit desirable. It
irritated and frustrated her that the only man she was attracted to
would never become a suitor.

As the days and nights dragged on, she
looked forward to the house party more and more. At least in the
country she could get away from these huge gatherings and possibly
find time to be out by herself. If she could only find some peace
in the country air, alone, she knew she would feel much
better.

Perhaps then she could play her music
again. She hadn’t dared touch the instrument since the day Lord
Sandlin and Noah interrupted her. The only music in her was the
same pieces she had chosen that day. Her family knew her too well
and she had no desire to alert them to her emotions.

Sandlin said little else
and returned her to Noah at the end of the Waltz. There was barely
any room to move and men were constantly approaching her, asking to
dance. She did, it was expected. As the night continued, her
irritation grew to the point that she wanted to scream and leave
the place, which was something the
ton
would frown upon. She had to get
away. The air was stifling and the temperature rose by the moment.
The balcony called to her, with its cool evening breeze. She
watched as dozens of couples strolled, noting it was well lit,
easily observed from inside. It was a safe place where she could
get away from everyone.

“
I will return shortly,”
she told her brother.

Noah inclined his head, so that she
knew he heard her, but continued watching Lady Draden
dance.

She strolled out into the moonlight,
inhaled deeply and allowed the tension to ooze out of her as the
cool breeze blew at her skirts and over her skin. Several people
stood in groups of two or more not far from her and this was no
different than standing in the ballroom given the amount of people.
They probably sought the coolness of the night as much as she.
Otherwise, she would have stayed at her brother’s side. Walking to
the railing, she stared out into the gardens, wishing she had the
freedom to walk in the darkness, either alone or with
Sandlin.

She pushed the thought away. She
should not be thinking of doing anything with Lord Sandlin. She
wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“
I must say, I am
impressed you lasted a week before leaving your guardian’s side,”
Taylor’s voice came from behind her.

Why couldn’t someone else approach
her? Both Mr. Chambers and Mr. Parker were pleasant enough and
didn’t make her wish for things she would never have. She didn’t
wonder what it would be like to be really kissed or held by either
of them. Only Lord Sandlin made her think the unthinkable. And here
he was, behind her, ready to swoop in if she made even the most
minor misstep. It grated on her nerves. “You’re premature, my lord.
I don’t believe I am in trouble yet.”

“
I have decided to use
preventative measures this evening.”

“
You have no need to
worry. I don’t intend on straying further than this spot and if
anyone approaches me, I will deliver a delightfully scathing set
down.”

“
A bit testy this
evening?” He chuckled as he came to stand beside her. “I certainly
wouldn’t want to be the one feeling the sharp edge of your tongue.
Perhaps it is good I came along now, before you filleted some young
man taken with your charm.”

Phoebe only offered a disgusted look
to his buoyant behavior before turning her attention back to the
gardens, wishing he would leave.

“
What is bothering you
this evening, Lady Phoebe?”

She sighed heavily. “Why does anything
have to be bothering me? I just wished for some peace and cool air.
It is quite stifling in there.” She gestured toward the
ballroom.

“
I agree. Would you care
for a stroll?”

She turned to face him, a skeptical
look on her face. Then she remembered their encounter at Vauxhall
Gardens, a memory never far from her thoughts. “No, thank you. I
have learned my lesson,” she bit out, then turned away
again.

“
Lady Phoebe, I wasn’t
testing you. I just thought you might like to walk.” His tone
softened.

Phoebe would much rather it were a
test. She could deal with his lecturing her, but not his
thoughtfulness. “I just want to be alone, Lord Sandlin. Just go
inside please. Go find a wife. I recall you mentioning you were
lonely. Well, there are a number of young ladies within who would
be more than happy to keep you company.”

He stared at her; his eyes bore into
her. After a moment he spoke. “If that is your wish. Good evening.”
Turning, he walked away.

His footsteps stopped at the side of
the door and he resumed his position as guard once again. He was
too close to allow the peace she needed.

*

As the date of the house party drew
close, Phoebe made plans to find suitable matches for Noah and his
friends. She had already talked Janine into inviting Lady Draden,
who finally accepted upon the insistence of Noah and Phoebe. She
narrowed her choices for Lord Sandlin down to three, yet couldn’t
decide which would be better as she kept finding fault with each.
As she hadn’t been given a chance to get to know Parker or Chambers
very well, she had decided that at a more intimate gathering,
perhaps they would all learn about each other and make a
match.

“
Why did you invite all of
these gentlemen?” Phoebe asked Janine out of curiosity, afraid they
were for her.

“
Each come from good
families, have no bad habits, and are interested in furthering
their acquaintance with you.”

It was what she feared. “I have no
interest in any of these gentlemen. Nor have I changed my mind
about marriage.”

Noah rolled his eyes and stood to
pace. “I understand. However, you must keep up
appearances.”

“
Why,” Phoebe demanded and
stood.

He turned and his eyes bore into hers.
“Because it would make your mother happy.”

Phoebe huffed. She sat back down and
reached for a lemon cake. “Mother knows that I have no interest in
anyone who has pursued me.”

“
Then who are you
interested in?” Janine asked. “There must be someone.”

Phoebe was grateful to have a mouth
full of food so she did not have to tell a falsehood, and shrugged
her shoulders.

Noah ran a hand through his hair and
sighed. “Very well, then. If you have no one in particular you
would like us to invite, then you will settle for those who are
there.”

“
But…”

“
Phoebe,” he interrupted.
“You have not given any of them a chance.”

“
I have too. I’ve danced
with each of them.”

“
Yet you turn down their
invitations to stroll in the park, or any other type of outing for
that matter.”

Phoebe frowned and shrugged. “They
bore me.”

“
Well, until you come up
with a non-boring alternative, these gentlemen are the ones whom
you will spend time with.” Noah strode from the room in
frustration.