Get What You Give (14 page)

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Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore

BOOK: Get What You Give
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“No use, you guys. She said she's never gonna participate as a collegiate Beta again,” Teddi said, making me pick the pillow off the bed and toss it at her.
But it was cute to hear the other three moaning, groaning, and pleading for what they'd heard not to be the case. I tried to speak, but Teddi kept blocking me. Their faces did look truly sad. Finally, I shoved my silly friend out of the way.
“She's pulling y'all's leg. I did need to think, but Teddi made me see that together we can do this. Together we can do anything. I'm in. Check out these pictures, and you'll see why,” I told them, pointing to the photos of the place Ms. King and the kids now called home.
We were all in tears as we took them through the pictures. The thought of any human living in an inhuman space sickened me. For about twenty minutes we just sat there hating all that Ms. King's family was going through. I actually thought we'd never smile again.
Then Evan lightened the mood when she said, “Well, let's go out and party.”
“Party? Girl, you hear that storm outside? It's raining bad,” I said, remembering I'd already been wet enough for one day.
“So what? We're alive. We're Betas. We just got our letters. The stitching is still tight on our jackets. We need to get out and let them see the latest line of Alpha chapter. Hailey, when we crossed we didn't go out as a line. Let's do it now,” Evan said.
Teddi said, “I know you wanna go anyway. SGA is throwing a canned-food-drive party. You don't have to bring money, just food to help out the families who have been displaced by the tornado.”
Quisa said, “I can't believe the food bank was destroyed.”
“Yep, they're operating out of some warehouse, and food is extremely low,” Teddi said, knowing more than me about the community I was supposed to be really in tune with.
I should've known something was up when the three of them came in looking cute for some reason. Though I knew I still had issues to deal with concerning the Chapter President and the prophytes, I couldn't hide out. And they would probably be at the party representing. Plus, the idea of seeing Covin ... well, it excited me, too.
When the five of us got through the door fashionably late, the place was packed! The party was in the gym, and from freshmen to graduate students, there was barely room to move around. But there was a makeshift stage, and my uncle was standing up there with Covin.
President Webb said, “I've been the President of this school for five years. I've seen a lot of SGAs do great things. I've even seen some disappointments. But this year you guys are rallied behind this guy right here,” he said as he raised Covin's hand. “And Mr. Randall is making a difference. Tomorrow the mayor of the city and a fire marshal will pick up the cans we collect tonight and take them to the remote food bank. Our donations will be distributed to needy families everywhere. I am all for college students completely enjoying their collegiate experience, and getting an education is first and foremost here. But tonight you deserve to have a good time. Not only has our graduation rate gone up the last two years, but what we've done to change the community will have an impact that will bless many. And for that you should be proud.”
When my uncle finished his speech, everyone shouted and chanted Covin's name. He was looking so good! Jeans fitting him in all the right places. A button-down shirt that was neatly pressed yet open enough at the top to be sexy as I don't know what. I was missing him so much. We were in public, and I had to keep my feelings intact. I could only wish I was back in his place—this time with a different outcome.
Then my uncle called our homecoming queen to join Covin onstage. Covin took her hand and said, “This whole idea about the canned-food drive to help out the food bank—I couldn't have done it without this lady.” He reached over to hug her and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I didn't notice my eyes watering up, but Teddi sure did. “You wanna be with the guy. You can't let someone else take your man, because if you're seeing what I'm seeing, she's all into him.”
I tried so hard not to want him, but seeing him there with somebody else, what had I done? I did want him to be mine, but I had ended it. He was a guy going somewhere, and I could never hold him back, but I could also never hold back my extreme sadness.
Just as he began holding hands with our beautiful homecoming queen, I tried to get by without him seeing me. This was his moment, and I didn't need to ruin it, but I couldn't take him being with another and getting all the accolades without me being by his side to share it with him. The crowd was all on his jock, and I had to get away from all that pomp.
13
BE
I
just couldn't be around him, but I wanted him so badly and was drawn to him more when I saw him in the arms of another. I had to get away from this awful scene and quickly erase it from my memory.
Teddi held my arm and said, “Where are you going? It's storming out there.” I just shook my head in confusion and dashed away from the unbearable sight.
As soon as I was alone in the dark night, I looked to the sky and said, “Lord, I've been trying to go about my business and not think about Covin. Just as I feel I'm strong enough, You have me witness him being happy with someone else. You have to make her a gorgeous homecoming queen at that! That was a huge slap to my face. Why, when I had a good guy, could I not be smart? Why did I waste a good thing on an idiot? Help me, Lord, move past this and not trip.”
Searching unsuccessfully in the crowded parking lot for my car, I suddenly remembered I hadn't driven. I turned back around to go inside to tell Teddi to take me home. Unfortunately, the steps to my path were cut short when I bumped into Covin himself.
“Why are you out here in the rain, Hailey? You're gonna catch pneumonia or something,” he said, getting wet, too.
“You didn't have to come out here to check on me. I can clearly see you're with someone else now,” I said, salty as chips.
“Are you crying?” he asked me as he lifted my chin. I just pulled away. “What's going on with you, Hailey? I know you're not upset that I'm with another girl.”
“I know, I know, I know,” I said, completely losing it. “I was the one who wanted to date other people.”
“And from what I heard, you are already doing that.”
I turned away, thinking,
And it didn't go as well as I planned
. He studied my face, and knew I'd made a terrible mistake. But he stood there with deep concern and didn't rub anything in my face.
But how could I have ever wanted another? I didn't know what to do next. I couldn't look back at him. I couldn't face him. The care he was showing, I didn't deserve. When we'd started months back, we'd barely had time to mess up our good thing. However, I'd just treated us like a used piece of paper on the floor—picked it up and thrown it in the trash. But now I wanted it to be fresh and new again. I just wasn't sure if it was right or fair of me to ask him.
“What is it you want?” he asked as he came closer and wrapped me in his arms. “Tell me what you want from me, Hailey.”
“It doesn't matter what I want. I messed up, okay? You were a great guy, and I guess because I hadn't had a boyfriend in a long time, I didn't know how to treat one when I had a gift.”
“Well,” he said as he held me tighter and tried to stop me from shivering, “I haven't stopped thinking about you.”
Then someone yelled out his name from the gymnasium door. “Covin! Covin, are you out here?”
We ran like two elementary school kids trying to hide from their principal after school. Being silly and giddy, I fell into his lap. I wasn't bothered by the cold, wet rain, because the connection we had warmed me all over.
“You need to go tell her something,” I whispered to him.
Being coy and mannish, he said, “There's so much going on inside, she'll turn around and look for me in there.”
“So, are y'all dating or something?”
“What, are you jealous now?” he said, wiping my brow.
“I mean, I can't pull you away from somebody else.”
“It's been only a couple months since we haven't been together, and all I wanted to do was this,” he said as he placed his hands on both sides of my face, pulled my face to his, and allowed our lips to lock.
I usually wasn't a fan of the rain, but out there, with him, I let the water hit my face, and it relaxed me. Amidst all that water, it was like it had brought Covin and me back together by washing away all the strife. I had gotten a second chance, and I wasn't gonna mess it up this time.
“I wanna be with you,” I said to him as he stroked my face.
“But we're both soaked. I need to get back in here to this party. Afterward we can hook up.”
I took his hands and put them around my waist and then took to kissing him. After a long encounter I said, “No, not later. Now. I want to be with you.”
He patted his coat jacket, pulled out some keys, and smiled wider than the Grand Canyon. “Are you sure?” he said to me as he licked his lips at me.
I was still pure, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous. But being in his arms, a place I didn't think I'd ever be again, was like heaven. Feeling the passion that extended from one part of my body to the other, I knew more than anything that I was ready—so much so that I was ready to give it up on the concrete ground.
But when I went to unbutton his pants, he said, “You deserve way better than this. And, for real, we would be really sick in this nasty weather. Don't you think you need to take your car home?”
“I didn't drive,” I said to him.
“Well, you need to let someone know where you're going.”
“I'll text my girls later.”
He kissed me again, and we headed off in his car.
Forty-five minutes later we were in a hotel suite in the center of downtown Little Rock. He had gotten us a room on the top floor of a hotel. Opening the doors to our lavish suite with the room card key, I was engulfed in a cloud of bliss. The room screamed of freshness, and the spacious bedding area released aromatherapy. Sheets and the comforter of every shade of white was piled high atop of the king-size bed. The view of the pretty city made me feel like a queen. I was so impressed.
Before my sophomore year, merely being with a guy in a hotel room ready to give it up would have been out of my character. Never, ever had I done something so impulsive. Going out with Morgan before knowing him fully was stupid, but this felt safe, beautiful, and right. We hadn't even done anything.
As Covin called room service, I went over to the balcony and prayed.
Lord, I want this night to be as special as You would allow it. Please be with me as I share my all.
“What are you thinking?” he asked me as he kissed my neck.
“I'm thinking I wanna give you every part of me. You've given me your heart. You've given me a second chance, and now it's time I became the gracious one. As a kid I thought about the moment I'd lose my virginity. But never did I imagine being in a hotel suite, treated like a queen.”
The doorbell rang, and he told me to go ahead and take a shower. When the hot water hit my body, I really got excited. But then when the doorknob turned, and he asked if he could join me, every part of me felt alive. I didn't say yes, but because I didn't say no, moments later every inch of Covin's body was mine to view. And, boy, did I like what I saw! Why I'd ever thought Morgan was sexier was crazy, too.
“You're even more beautiful than I'd imagined,” he said as he checked me out.
I wasn't nervous at his gaze. My heart just started racing as his hand touched every part of me. He turned off the water, scooped me out of the tub, threw a robe around me, and led me to the bed. He eased himself on top of my body that desired him so and looked into my eyes that spoke of my love.
“You don't have to do this, you know.”
I kissed him, and he kissed me back. The night was warm, passionate, sexy, steamy, inviting, exuberant, and ours. The slight discomfort was felt for seconds. And the second time around was even better than the first. I knew when he called my name I was in love. Again it was confirmed that this was right. This was wonderful. This had become a night I would never forget.
 
Two days later, when I woke up back in my own bed, I still felt like I was in heaven. I replayed my magical weekend over and over; I regretted none of it. But I did wonder why Covin had dropped me off at six in the evening, said he'd call, and it was now eighteen hours later and there was no phone call.
“Okay, so you wanna tell me where you've been all weekend?” Teddi said to me as she grilled me when she saw my eyes open. “You go to a party with us, leave all frustrated, have us tell the big sisters you're gonna chair the contest after all, text me an hour later telling me you're okay, and then you're dead asleep when I come home, thinking I'm not gonna wake you?”
I wanted to say, “Girl, you're not my mom—I'm a grown woman now. I had an experience that was private and special, and I wanna keep it that way.” However, I knew she loved me and probably had been sick with worry.
So to get her off my back, I smiled and said, “I was with Covin. We worked everything out. You said I was out cold last night—did he happen to call me?”
Teddi looked up at the ceiling like she was trying to think back, but I knew he had called. He had to. I was so knocked out I probably didn't hear the phone ring. Because sleep had been the last thing I had gotten while I was with him, Teddi had known I was too tired and didn't want to wake me. That had to be it.
I was too dumbfounded when she said, “No, Hailey. Nobody called.”
I looked over at the phone that was on the nightstand between both of our twin beds and said, “Well, was it off the hook or something?”
There had to be an explanation why I didn't receive his call,
I thought to myself. Then it dawned on me like a ray of sunshine sparks a new day, that he had used another method. I hit my hand to my forehead like I should have had a V8 and ran over to my cell phone. Surely, that was it. He'd called me, and it had been on vibrate or silent.
After I disappointedly checked my voice mail and text messages to find out Covin hadn't contacted me, Teddi put her two cents in the situation. “Why are you even stressing like you're married to him or something? So what—he didn't call. Why are you freaking out? He's still got a reason to chase you, right?”
“I'm not freaking out,” I said, clearly freaking out as I held an upset look on my face.
It took me a while to look at Teddi. When we locked eyes, I might as well have told her I'd given away the milk for free. I hoped I wasn't a fool.
Indirectly telling me to move on and not stress it, Teddi said, “Come on. Some of us are heading to the library to study. Get dressed.”
I wanted to tell her to go on without me so I could call Covin and see if he was okay, but I could sense I was being a little paranoid. Maybe he was just as tired as I was.
So I went on to study and had a great time with my line sisters as we planned more for the upcoming contest, and they filled me in on all the dirt in the chapter. It seemed Connie and Sam had had another incident and gone at each other. As they talked about it, I really tuned them out as I looked at my phone, wanting it to ring badly.
The next few days came and went. And in terms of communication with Covin, it was more of the same—no phone call. Finally, I reached out to him. And when I dialed him the first time, I got his voice mail. I was addicted because on the hour, for seven hours, I kept trying him. I couldn't figure out why the brother wasn't calling me back.
Cassidy came over to our place later that night so Teddi and I could fill her in on the particulars surrounding the contest. “You seem pretty occupied,” she said as she apparently tried to get my attention several times and I was out of it.
“Been like that for the last couple days,” Teddi added. “She must have her head too far up Covin's—”
“Okay, okay!” I said as Cassidy laughed. “This isn't a joke.”
“Sorry, girl. Just trying to liven you up,” Teddi said.
“What's up? Talk to me,” Cassidy said.
I said, “There's nothing to talk about.”
“Obviously, there's something to talk about. You're visibly shaken. Come on, let's step out into the hall and walk off some of this.”
I guess it was bothering me more than I knew because when we stepped outside I just blurted, “I don't understand! I gave him everything, and he hasn't called!”
“Having sex with a guy is a big step. It's not something that should be taken lightly. The whole school knows what happened to me last year.”
“The AIDS scare?” I said.
“Yeah,” she said. “I wish I could take back the night I spent with that jerk, but I can't. And what you described to me seems like it was a great time. Did you guys use ...”
“Yeah, we were straight with that. I'm not saying we used the word
love,
but I didn't think he was trying to hit it and quit it, you know?”
“Well, don't pressure it. Don't run him away. You left him a few messages, so give him time to respond. If it's right and it's what you feel it is, it'll be.”

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