Authors: Stephanie Perry Moore
Get What You Give (8 page)
Then I thought about Gem two on sisterhood. The basic message behind the whole thing was: The way we roll was as one unit. And if Teddi and Evan were ever to feel true love from me, I needed to give it unconditionally and be willing to work on our differences.
Gem three: act like you know. Wow! It focused on education. They said a lot of people that pledged had their GPAs go down. If you knew why you were in school, you should act like it. Do something. Be about changing your community and making your sorority better. You couldn't make it better if you had no degree. The tension my line had made all of us weaker students. We needed to fix that.
Gem four was Millie's favorite, which was Christian principles. We learned that God had it going on. Though I knew in my heart that I should treat people how I wanted to be treated, I was a little stubborn. But that hard heart needed to go. Though I was happy dating Covin, I wasn't totally okay, because I knew Teddi had issues with it.
Yep, after pondering the last two weeks, I was emotional. I'd learned how to be better, and I'd vowed to care more, yet I wasn't living up to what I'd pledged. This last Gem on public service was for me. I wasn't getting much from my line sisters, because, frankly, I hadn't given them much. And if I loved them and the bond we were supposed to be forming, why did I want anything from them anyway? Being in a sorority was not a self-serving organization.
As soon as we took our seats, Samantha said, “As far as the Gem ceremonies are concerned, you ladies have come to the end of the road. Tonight is the final Gem on public service. In this world, we are supposed to give more than we take, care about others more than ourselves, and speak for those who don't have a voice. We challenge you sitting before us who want to join our fold. Is it all about you? Or is it about your line sister? Is it about your campus? Is it about your community? Is it about your world?”
I sat there, and a tear trickled down my face. If it weren't for my mom, my sister, and Teddi's insistence, Beta Gamma Pi would have been an afterthought. Yet I was thrilled about their cause. They cared for people, and so did I.
I had forgotten how important it was to work things out with my dear friend; I could not be broken and try to fix somebody else. And as tough as I tried to act, I cared about Teddi. I didn't want Evan to be sad or alone anymore either.
As soon as the ceremony was over, I went to Teddi and Evan and said, “Forgive me. I love you both, and I'm sorry for being so distant.”
Teddi replied, “I'm the one who's sorry. You're rightâCovin risked his life for mine. He's a good guy who likes you. Forgive me for standing in your way.”
Evan pulled up her sleeve, and we saw a big, deep bruise on her arm. She said, “You all were right. G-Dogg got out of jail, and at first things were good. Then I said something he didn't like, and I got this. I'm done, you guys. I just didn't know how to ask for help.”
Millie and Quisa were standing around and heard us. We all took a few moments to be there for each other. It felt good to connect as a line.
Cassidy interrupted and ushered us out of the room. “Y'all, come on. Y'all gotta leave and go study.”
Samantha came over to her and said, “What are you telling them?”
“Don't worry about it,” Cassidy said to her.
“Yes, I do need to worry. I said I wanna see them right now. I'm the Chapter President, so I decide what goes on around here. If I wanna take them with another line to study, that's my business.”
“Girls, y'all need to get your stuff and go study like I said,” Cassidy said to us. “Now!” We picked up our stuff and headed for the door.
“I can't believe you're gonna tell them to do what you say. Y'all, I'm the Chapter President,” Samantha said.
“And when other people haze these girls, you think you got control, but you don't. You don't put them around people you know are crazy.”
“What, you calling me crazy now?” Samantha said as she came lunging toward Cassidy.
Cassidy went toward her. It was a horrible sight when we had just left a beautiful ceremony talking about love, oneness, and making things better. Not even five minutes later, our Chapter President and Vice President were practically at blows. Other Betas tried to help pull them apart, but they were torn down by the ladies' fists. How were we supposed to be united as sisters when our leaders' actions were way past immature and pesky?
7
BASK
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am was smiling like she wanted to throw down. “Come on, Cassidy. Show me what you got. If this is what you want, come get it.”
am was smiling like she wanted to throw down. “Come on, Cassidy. Show me what you got. If this is what you want, come get it.”
Betas pulled them apart and yet they ran back to tear each other to shreds again. This was not ladylike behavior nor was it the Beta way to act. It was disturbing to see my big sisters act so ghetto. They were setting the wrong examples. And I knew Cassidy had more compassion than that.
“You're supposed to be our Chapter President!” Evan yelled out, not caring if it was her place or not. “Stop, please! Have some respect for yourselves and each other. I know hitting on any level is wrong.”
It was weird, but I really didn't know why I wasn't more forthcoming with how awful I thought this was. I was getting mixed signals about our sisterhood. Someone needed to be the bigger person and just quit these childish antics. I looked to my line sisters, and we had to stand up with Evan. We needed to be leaders; it was time for us to step in.
Teddi said, “I ain't saying nothing. I don't want either one of them to get mad at me for taking sides, even though I think Sam is dead wrong for getting all in her girl's face.”
A group of Betas took Cassidy to one side, and the others put Sam in a corner. The five of us were already on shaky ground in our own relationships, and now we were in a circle as one, wondering what our fate would be now that our leaders were at odds with each other. If this was what they considered sisterhood, did I really want to get involved deeper in this? Hayden and I argued as sisters, but not to this extent. Physical violence had never been a part of my world.
Cassidy came over to us and said, “Ladies, I apologize for what just happened. Please do not follow in my footsteps. It's time for y'all to go on your retreat. Our adviser left when the ceremony was over, and she was headed over there with some alumnae ladies. She just called, and she's wondering where you guys are. Thankfully, we can't go, or else they would see what a mess we just caused. Here's the directions.”
“But we didn't bring anything for an overnight trip,” Teddi said.
“You won't need anything,” Cassidy responded, still clearly shaken from the fight. “Just get over there. They got you.”
To ease the tension, I put my hand on her shoulder and said, “It's gonna be okay.”
She gave me a small grin. Cassidy was so cool. She needed to know we cared. Sam, on the other hand, was still being calmed down by her sorors. I'd lost respect for our leader, who was unable to keep her feelings in check. And to know these two used to be roommates and best friends ... I knew I truly needed to make sure Teddi and I got past our differences so we would not have a severe fallout like I'd just witnessed.
“Just do better than what you saw. Really talk to each other tonight and get a deeper understanding of one another. Love and respect your sister. If you got anything you wanna say, just let it out, because if you keep it in, it could blow up and get real ugly,” Cassidy told us, seeing we were affected by their blowup.
The fight between Sam and her was explosive. I knew deep down she was in agony, and her bond with her sister was now broken. My line needed a retreat to make sure we reconnected.
All during the ride over to the bed-and-breakfast ten miles out from the school, I thought about Teddi. I missed my friend even before the crazy incident between Cassidy and Sam, but now that I had seen how the tightest of bonds could go to blows, I knew I needed to make sure things stayed right with Teddi. We had apologized, but we were emotional. Had we really said all we needed to say to one another?
After we had a wonderful meal with the five alumni sorors who had come to get to know and spend time with us on the retreat, we were summoned to a suite. Our charge for the evening was to really go deep.
Millie broke the awkward silence by saying, “So, anybody got something to say? We talked earlierâwe're good, right?”
Quisa said, “I don't think all of us need to work on our issues; I think just two need to. Teddi and Hailey, straighten out all the tension. Evan, Millie, maybe we can walk the grounds and observe the scenery a little? We need some fresh air.”
“Thanks, y'all. That would be nice,” Teddi said.
I just nodded in agreement, appreciating the fact that they recognized we had some things we needed to work on, and it was private. Teddi walked our new three sisters to the door and closed it behind them. When she turned back around, I was standing, not knowing what to say.
“I am really sorry,” she said, getting a little emotional. I could see the tears forming in her eyes.
“I wanted to say I'm sorry for not considering your feelings where Covin is concerned!” I said as we sat on the couch in our plush suite.
“You don't owe me an apology,” Teddi said to me. “I was trying to hold you back from being with Covin, and that was wrong. I was upset with you for not telling me, and I held it in for so long. I know you got my back, front, side, everything, and I also know you bent over backward to make sure I was on this line.”
I just shook my head a couple times when she said that. I swore I was gonna take that to my grave. How did she know?
“I'm not stupid,” Teddi said. “I caught the vibe that the Betas weren't feeling me at first. I got a call last, after you had a meeting with them. Besides, Sam told me what you did for me during one of the Gem ceremonies. Come on, now, Hailey. I owe you so much for being so patient with me. My last two years of high school, I thought I would be nothing without my parents, but God gave me you, a best friend. I was scared that something would take you away from me. I was thinking that if you got a guy, we would lose our connection.”
I grabbed my friend's hands, squeezed them tightly, and said, “I would do anything for you, girl. Don't worry about me going anywhere. Just because I have someone else in my life doesn't mean I'm going to replace you. Subconsciously, my heart has been feeling these things for a guy I've never felt before, and I wanna see where things are gonna go. It doesn't mean as much if I don't have a best friend to share it all with. Really, though, Covin is great. You may have a grudge against him for beating you in the SGA election, but I think you guys would get along great.”
“I'm cool with you two dating. I know he's special to you. I can tell how you glow when you talk about him, Hailey. I'm sorry for being so petty. I promise you we will never be like Sam and Cassidy.”
We hugged. Things were back in order. I just prayed that they would stay that way.
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Thanksgiving had come, and my family was having a big dinner at our house. My mom told me I could invite anyone over, but Teddi was with her grandparents, Covin was with his parents, and my line sisters were with their respective families out of state. But as I looked at the feast laid out before me of turkey, collard greens, macaroni and cheese, cabbage, stuffing, potato salad, cornbread, sweet-potato pie, and red velvet cake, I realized how blessed I was, and I thought about Ms. Mayzee King's family.
I knew we were gonna have leftovers, but were they gonna have enough food? I rushed over to my mom and told her what I was thinking, and she thought it was an excellent idea to make sure the King family had food.
I didn't have their phone number, so my mom made me go over and invite them to dinner. As I stood on the front porch, waiting for someone to open the door, I smelled food. Seemed they were taken care of, but I couldn't just leave.
The kids' grandmother came to the barely stable door of the trailer. “Thank you, baby. You and your school. Y'all have just blessed me and my grandbabies so.” I didn't know what she was talking about for a second. At least not until I came in and saw the card displayed on her card table from a familiar person. “That SGA President of yours, with his handsome self, came by with a bunch of groceries yesterday. Me, these grandchildren, and some of the neighbors are gonna eat all this good food.”
I felt horrible that I had let Covin down. I was the director of community relations, and I didn't know anything about this. Had this pledging consumed me? Yes, it had. I hadn't been into the SGA office or with him in the last ten days. We'd had to study for our upcoming Beta test. My line had been bonding. I'd had no extra time for him. But I guessed this was his way of showing “one monkey don't stop the show.” Clearly, I could see the show was doing well without me. Honestly, it was killing me.
“Why are you looking so sad, girl? Y'all helped us with so much,” she said to me, confused by my reaction.
“Well, I'm glad y'all are enjoying it,” I replied, looking away.
“Something's not right. Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. You can tell me anything.”
“It's nothing,” I said, knowing I was here to help her, not to burden her with my issues.
“No, something's wrong,” she said in a motherly tone. “Talk to me, dear.”
“This was my job, and it got done without me. I feel a little bad, is all,” I vulnerably admitted.
“Well, when you're a part of a team, people pick up each other's slack. That's what a family is for. Did anybody get onto you and tell you you let them down?”
“No, ma'am.”
“Then do more than your part next time. You don't have to be the one who gets all the glory.”
“It wasn't about me getting the glory or anything like that,” I confessed. “It was about me pulling my weight.”
“Well, girl, you're young. You can't be everywhere at every time. You got a good heart, and that should count for something. You came over to see about us, and I'm sure you were going to invite us to your house for dinner. A lot of people mind having poor people over to their house, but you don't. You got a good heart. What's your name, child?”
“Hailey. Hailey Grant.”
“Well, Miss Hailey Grant, God is gonna bless you. Be glad He's blessing those you want to help, even if He uses someone other than you. Trust me, the Lord will use you, too,” she said as we hugged. “Thanks again.”
I left her house with a better understanding of my purpose on this earth. I had to understand that others care about people in need, too, and I needed to be okay with helping when I could. I had really needed that talk. She'd given much wisdom.
When I got home, my family was ready to eat. My sister was there with her boyfriend and his parents. My mom and dad seemed overly excited that they were at the table. Was there something going on I didn't know about? As long as folks were happy, I didn't need details. I was thankful.
Just when we were about to bless the food to eat, my sister's boyfriend, Creed, stood up, took Hayden's hand, and said, “I know what I'm thankful for, and that is this young lady who's been my best friend for the past four years. She's held up my strength and put up with my weaknesses. She's inspired me to be a better person. After a talk with her parents, I am excited to say, Hayden, I love you, and I can't see my life going on without you. I would like to know if you would do me the honor of being my wife.” He got down on one knee, kissed her hand, and continued his proposal. “Will you marry me?”
I couldn't have been more proud when she said, “Yes, Creed.”
Creed took out a ring, and the houseful of relatives, including my uncle, aunts, parents, and a host of cousins, all cheered. It was a pure, beautiful moment.
The day after Thanksgiving, my mom, my sister, and I had shopped until we dropped. We were going from mall to mall, and it felt like we stopped in every store. I was exhausted. Now it was Saturday morningâtime for me to sleep in and rest. They wanted to go again.
“Come on, Hailey,” Hayden said. “You gotta help me prepare for my wedding.”
She had just gotten engaged, and she was already set on having things lined up for her big day. I was tired; all I wanted to do was sleep in and spend some time with my dad. She and my mom could have that shopping thing. I wasn't hating or anything. It just wasn't my thing.
Then my mom cut in and said, “Please, Hailey, for me. I wouldn't have as much fun as I did yesterday without my two girls.”
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