Getting Ahead (10 page)

“Can we talk?”

It was too late for something like that. In the nights they’d spent together, he’d never found a single opportunity to tell her about his true identity. Words were too little now.

“I know you’re mad, but I can explain.” He took a few steps closer.

Instinctively, she tensed up. It wasn’t that she cared about him being rodeo star; it was that he’d let her believe he was just some guy who worked on a ranch. If she’d known, the whole thing would have been different.

She squinted her eyes and focused on the brush. He wasn’t simply some nice guy who took a liking to her. Instead, he was Colton Riley, star of the bronc riding world. Cut down in his prime by one accident. The similarities between them were so obvious she kicked herself for not catching on sooner. He understood her a little too well. Except for the part where she got back up. He’d never been through that. For all the talking he’d done with her about being brave and getting back up, he’d quit. Sure, medically he’d had to, but it still made a difference.

“I didn’t want you to judge me based on who I used to be. You spend a lot of time around big rodeo guys. Most of the time, if people recognize me, they treat me differently.” He moved around Black Lightning into her line of sight.

She understood his concern. After all, no one ever treated her like an ordinary person anymore. She missed being simply another girl who rode horses. She’d never expected anyone to make a big deal out of it. When she’d started barrel racing, her friends thought it was stupid. Nothing more than riding around a bunch of cones. Then, when she actually started winning, they bragged about how close they were to her. It wasn’t the kind of thing most people cared about, but in Colorado, she could find plenty of people who kept track of the rodeo stats. Having a friend who made national news a few times a month went a long way.

She tried to turn her horse to the side, to block the cowboy out of her vision, but Black Lightning wouldn’t budge. All those things she’d told Colt, her intimate secrets, and he couldn’t even tell her the biggest thing that ever happened to him.

“I thought you might think that I was using my old career to manipulate you. I saw you out there refusing to actually train, and I saw a lot of myself in you. You may not know this, but I actually tried to get back into things after my injury. I know exactly what you are going through every minute that you are up there.” He stood next to her, his presence overwhelming her ability to stay strong. As long as she didn’t meet his gaze, she figured she could keep it together.

Though she’d been a few years away from the big time, she remembered his fall. The tales of it haunted even the youngest riders. Everything he had gone in the blink of an eye. For months, the press had speculated about whether he’d come back. When he finally made the announcement that he was retiring, the whole community was shocked. Everyone expected him to push on and demanded that his reputation not be tainted by one event. He’d insisted his health and well-being were more important, but she’d always wondered if there was something else in his way.

“All this would have been useful when I was trying to get back to working. You think any of this process was easy for me? I don’t know a lot of people who’ve recovered from injuries and bounced back to actually win some competitions. Those I do know are too cutthroat to even consider providing me with assistance.”

A few of her competitors slept a lot easier at night knowing she’d had to miss a couple of events. That’s why this one was so important. They needed to feel fear again, to know that she could easily snatch a title away from them.

“I thought you might feel like I was waving my success at you and then not actually take any help.” He ran a hand over Black Lightning, stopping short of touching her hand.

“What in God’s name would make you think that?” She eyed his fingers. The simplest touch from him made her whole body tingle. Not the kind of distraction she needed right now. Her mind needed to be sharp, not filled with images of his naked ass. Amber put down the brush and shoved her hands into her pockets.

“Are you serious? When I first met you, there was a chip on your shoulder the size of Texas. I could barely have a conversation with you, let alone convince you I was here to help. Are you really telling me you would have listened to me?” He moved closer to her, as if he knew that his body held a certain power over her.

“You could have at least tried. Besides, we’ve been more than talking for a few days. You couldn’t think of one good time to bring it up?” She turned away from her horse and faced him. “’Hey, what do you want for dinner tonight? By the way, I used to ride bareback professionally.’ Instead you let me find out during a televised interview.” That was the worst part. Standing there, in front of all the reporters, feeling like the world’s stupidest person. She’d trusted him with her life, and he hadn’t even trusted her with his real name.

He dug his toe into the ground. “Look, I’m sorry you found out like this, but do you really believe you would have let me help you if you’d known the truth?”

She shrugged her shoulders. “I guess you’ll never know.” Maybe things were better this way. Now she didn’t have to come up with a plan for telling him they couldn’t keep seeing each other. Things with him were too complicated. Without his presence in her life, she could be much happier. Except a sinking feeling in her gut told her that wasn’t really true.

“Amber, don’t do this. You have too many other things to think about right now. Can we please put this behind us and get back to your training?” He reached out toward her, his hand falling just short of her arm.

“There is no ‘us’ anymore. Now, I was told when I came here that I would be paying for complete privacy while I was training. I insist you leave me to those conditions.” She turned away from him and stared at the opposite wall, waiting for him to walk away. For a long time, all she heard was the sound of blood pumping through her own body.
Why wouldn’t he leave already?
She restrained herself from leaving, and eventually she heard the sound of his footsteps as he began to walk away.

Even after she could no longer hear him, she waited. She needed to be sure he was gone before she allowed herself to turn around. From the moment they had started fooling around, she knew he was a distraction, but the whole time she’d believed everything would be fine since he was helping her. She’d actually thought he was a nice guy who only had her best interests in mind. Turns out, he was no better than any of the cowboys she’d met on the road. What he really wanted was a woman to stroke his ego. Now he’d proven he could bed one without even having to reveal his true identity. Well, it wasn’t her job to up his self-confidence. She might have forgotten for a few days, but she was ready to recommit to her sport and focus only on winning. There was nothing else she needed at this point in life. After all, her mother always said there would be time for those other things when her trophy case was filled to capacity. Until that time, cocky cowboys like Colt could go to hell.

***

Woman was stubborn as hell. He’d been eyeing her all day, but too afraid to approach. She’d made a call to the manager to complain about the violation of the rules she had put in place surrounding her stay and made it perfectly clear that unless something changed, she would be finding another ranch to take her money.

Of course, final say was his, but the ranch couldn’t afford to lose her room and board, even for a few days. Besides, she knew exactly where to find him if she wanted to apologize or at the very least listen to some reason. Her love of the sport was genuine, but he could tell when someone had forgotten why they had gotten into the game in the first place. That little sparkle he’d seen in her eye so many times on TV seemed to have faded.

At least she still looked to be pushing ahead. He just wished she’d allow him to help. He wanted to be in the stands to cheer her on since he’d been down there before, alone, amid a huge crowd of people who were only half-interested in what was going on. It was the loneliest and scariest place he’d ever been. The moment before the timer started, everything that could go wrong flashed before his eyes. It’d taken years of work to push those thoughts away and focus instead on visualizing everything going right. Even at the end, pieces of the visions would race through his head, threatening what he’d worked for. The audience wouldn’t know, but the whole event was as much a mind game as anything else.

He leaned against the shovel he was holding, mesmerized by her movements. He’d seen hundreds of barrel racing events, but it wasn’t until he’d sat through her training that he realized the grace that went into it.

“Hey.” Tyler came up to him and put a hand on his shoulder. “You still hung up on her?”

He glared. “Really?”

“Fine. How long have you been watching her?”

For an awkward moment, Colt looked on at the practice area. Something kept him from breaking his gaze. What if she fell again? Even a moment alone on the ground could completely ruin her.

“Don’t know.”
Probably three or four hours now.
It was basically all he’d done today. He felt invested in her well-being. She might think he was nothing more than a lying bastard, but he really only wanted to see her succeed, even if it meant he might lose her.

“Wouldn’t be a few hours, would it?” Tyler turned and gazed off into the distance.

Colt stood up straight and eyed the man suspiciously. “Why all the questions?”

Tyler cleared his throat. “Actually, she asked that you be removed from the area. She says she can’t focus when she’s being stalked. Her words, not mine.”

Colt raised his eyebrows. “Fine. I have better things to do than sit around here making sure she’s doing okay.” It wasn’t true, and both men knew it, but Tyler seemed willing to play along.

“Right, that’s what you’re doing.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“A week ago you couldn’t have cared less about barrel racing. Now it’s all you can think about. You don’t think any of this has to do with the super hot chick who is doing the riding?”

“What I think is that you have chores to finish. If you don’t feel like you have enough stuff to do, I’d be happy to find you more.” Colt didn’t want to have this conversation. It may have been quick, but the connection between him and Amber was real. The thought of losing it made him nearly mad, but at least before he had imagined he would be letting her go so she could follow her dream, not because he’d royally fucked up. Groveling was never one of his skills, but he’d learn if it meant a second shot with her.

“Don’t kill the messenger. I’m not saying anything that anyone on this ranch couldn’t figure out all by themselves. You two aren’t exactly discreet.” Tyler winked.

“I seem to remember looking the other way when I caught you and that girl from Europe shacking up in my place after I came home early from a vacation.”

“In that case, I haven’t heard a damn thing.” Tyler’s cheeks blushed bright red.

“That’s what I thought.”

Tyler turned and began to walk off. “Just keep your distance. She can be a handful, and it might be best for you to let the storm die down before you jump in and try to push for anything else.”

“When did you get so smart?” Tyler wasn’t really known for his insightful nature.

“Hard to say. Probably while you were off frolicking in the creek.”

Colt eyed him suspiciously.

“What? I told you the two of you weren’t as discreet as you thought. You forgot that we have herds out there. Ones you assigned me to look after.”

Chapter Seven

The warm-up period had only started an hour ago, and already her guts were tied into knots. It didn’t help that the other women were standing around gossiping, most likely about her. She always thought people were talking about her, but today the constant glances were getting to be a little much. Everyone appeared to be waiting to see if she was going to fall again. The worst part was feeling they were all rooting against her. She’d been riding alone for so many years, she’d stopped thinking anyone was out there rooting for her. Now, she’d give anything to know that there was one person in the audience who didn’t care if she won or lost.

That opportunity was gone. Relationships always got complicated, especially around competitions. No one else understood the sort of dedication it took to get through even one, let alone an entire year. The men she’d dated all said they could handle it, but in the end, the pressure got to them. Then there were the cowboys. They all thought they wanted a woman pro rider, but what they really wanted was a rodeo queen. They wanted someone to support them through everything, but at the end of the day, the only person she could always be there for was herself. Anything more was a strain she couldn’t deal with.