Authors: Sarah Rayne
His heart was pounding and he had to pause to pat his pocket to make sure the asthma spray was safely there. He had thought out what he would say and do when the door was opened, but he knew this pre-arranging of a scene hardly ever worked, because the other person did not know his or her part in the play.
It did not work now, because the person who opened the door was someone he had not expected to see: Hilary Bryant. Caley had been partly prepared for Shona, but he was thrown completely by Hilary's appearance and for a moment he could not think what to say.
Hilary was looking startled, but she said, âMr Merrick? Caley? What on earth are you doing here?'
Caley managed to pull himself together sufficiently to say, âI wanted to seeâis Mrs Ferrelyn in? Mrs Madeleine Ferrelyn?'
âWell, she is, butâ' Hilary broke off and Caley saw a door open beyond the hall and a fairly tall lady come out.
âHilary, was that someone at the door? I thought I heardâ' She saw Caley and looked at him questioningly.
âMrs Ferrelyn?' said Caley.
âYes.'
Caley had known who she was without asking, and he went straight into the little script he had compiled for himself. He said, âYou don't know me, but my name is Merrick and I would like to talk to you about yourâabout the Tarleton Music Hall.' He had intended to say âabout your theatre' but when it came to it, he could not. My theatre, he thought. In everything but name, it's my theatre. It always was, ever since the first time I stepped inside.
Madeleine said, perfectly politely, âUnfortunately, we have to go out very shortly and it's an appointment we can't easily change, but I have a few moments to spare.'
She clearly thought he was some kind of salesman, although the mention of the Tarleton had caught her attention. At least she had not slammed the door in his face. Hilary said, âMadeleine, Mr MerrickâCaleyâhelps us at the Harlequin office sometimes.'
This at least established a kind of credential and Madeleine Ferrelyn led Caley into the sort of room he would have liked in his own house: large and low-ceilinged, with deep soft chairs, good curtains and carpet, French windows looking out over a big garden with a small orchardâ¦
âThis is Robert Fallon,' said Madeleine Ferrelyn, and Caley saw that Robert Fallon was the man who had been on the Tarleton's stage with Hilary that night. Of Shona Seymour there was no sign.
âPlease sit down, Mr Merrick.'
Caley sat facing her, plaiting the fingers of both hands together, then unplaiting them because that was an outward sign of nervousness.
âYou said this was about the Tarleton?'
âYes. You own it, Mrs Ferrelyn.' It came out awkwardly and in a rush.
âI do own it, although I don't understand how you know that. Unless the Harlequin officeâ' She glanced at Hilary, who said, âIt's unlikely. Even I didn't know it until two days ago.'
Madeleine looked questioningly at Caley. She did not quite say, what has my ownership of the Tarleton got to do with you, but he knew she must be thinking it.
He said, âI've studied that theatre since I was a young man. More than thirty years now. I know so much about it. All its historyâI've read about the people who performed there and worked there.' He hoped this was not coming out too humbly; he was trying to keep firmly in mind all those long-ago remarks about being too humble, not pushy enough. But his next words came out with a desperation that even he could not miss.
âIs it true that the restraint has ended at last and that you're going to reopen it?'
âPerhaps. A bit more than perhaps.' It came out kindly enough, but it came out firmly.
âI see.' Caley sat back in his chair. Throughout the journey here he had planned how he would ask that question and that she would look at him kindly and say that since he felt strongly about this they could perhaps discuss it. That would have given him the opening he wanted. But he had not bargained for the presence of Hilary Bryant or Robert Fallon, and with them in the room his courage failed him. I can't do it after all, he thought.
Madeleine said, âMr Merrick, I don't understand. You've sought me out without in the least knowing me, and you've presumably made a journey to find this houseâ'
âI've come from London,' he said.
âWhich is quite a long way. You've come all that way, out of the blue, just to ask that question about whether I'm going to reopen a theatre? I'm sorry,' said Madeleine briskly, âbut none of that is credible. What's this really about?'
Caley summoned up a remaining shred of resolve, and said, âIt's about the man I think was my grandfather.'
âYes?' said Madeleine, but Caley thought a wariness had entered her voice.
He said, âI never knew my grandfatherâI never knew any of my real family, because I was adopted as a baby. But when I was eighteen I was given a box of papers that had belonged to my familyâmiscellaneous stuff, but interesting. Among the papers was this.' He reached into an inside pocket, and from a wallet, took out an old sepia photograph. Handling it with extreme care he gave it to Madeleine.
She took the photograph and absolute silence closed over the room, and then Madeleine, who had not had any physical reaction to the astonishing events earlier on, looked at the photograph and, giving a cry of unmistakable pain, hunched over, clutching at her heart.
âShe's all right,' said the paramedic, straightening up from Madeleine's chair, âand fortunately she had the GTN spray. You said that seemed to stop the pain?'
âAfter about ten minutes,' said Robert. âNot long before you arrived.'
âThat's very good. You were right to call us, though. But the ECG is clear, and if the GTN halted the pain so quickly it was almost definitely angina and not another infarct.'
âWhatâ¦?'
âHeart attack,' he said. âHas there been anything to trigger an attackâunusual exertion or stress of some kind?'
âI'm afraid there has,' said Hilary.
âAh. Well, then, I think she'd better come in to hospital, just to be completely sure. Sorry, Mrs Ferrelyn, but you know how it goes.'
âWill you take her now, or could I do that?' asked Robert.
âI'd like Robert to do it, if that's all right,' said Madeleine. âAnyway, you're one of the motorbike paramedics, aren't you? I'm feeling considerably better, but not quite up to riding pillion.'
âCan you drive her in?' said the paramedic to Robert. âI can get an ambulance if not.'
âOf course I will,' said Robert.
âThere's no need to break the speed limit, but within a couple of hours. Ask for emergency assessment. They'll do bloods and so on, Mrs Ferrelyn, and probably another ECG.'
âI know the routine by now,' said Madeleine drily.
âI know you do.' He patted her arm. âI'm fairly sure it's a false alarm this time,' he said, âbut let's make sure.'
After he went there was a rather awkward silence. Then Hilary said, âMadeleine, I'll pack an overnight bag for you, shall I? If you tell me where things are.'
âThat would be kind. But there's no rush for a moment, Hilary dear. First, I'd like you to see the photograph.'
She turned to Caley, who said, âAre you sure? The paramedic said to go to the hospital fairly soon.'
âI'm perfectly all right,' said Madeleine, and Caley looked at her for a moment, then passed the photo to Hilary.
Hilary took it with interest, and Robert leaned forward to see it as well. It was a shot of a young man of around twenty, standing outside a building Hilary recognized as the Tarleton, and it was possible to make out a poster on the theatre's wall advertising a Marie Lloyd benefit night.
âThis would be 1910 or thereabouts?' said Hilary to Caley.
âI think so,' he said. âI told you I was eighteen when I first saw this. I looked a lot different then, of courseâmore hair for one thing.' For the first time a glint of humour showed. âBut allowing for the different clothes, I might have been the young man in that photo.' He paused, then said, âThe name is written on the back.'
As Robert took the photograph and turned it over, Madeleine said, âYou don't need to look on the back. I didn't need to, either. I know who it is.'
And Robert said, âFrank Douglas.'
âI'd better tell you the truth before Robert carts me off to be stuck with needles and photographed from all angles,' said Madeleine.
âYou don't have to,' began Hilary. âYou've just had an angina spasm.'
âI do have to,' said Madeleine, her eyes still on the quiet figure of Caley Merrick seated opposite her. âDon't I?'
âYes,' he said. âOnly if you're well enough, though. But if you canâit would mean so much to me.'
âTo me, also.' She paused, and when she spoke again her voice was subtly different, almost as if it was a much younger woman's. âI was seventeen,' said Madeleine, âand I was unbelievably naiveâtoday's seventeen year olds would never believe how naive I was. I was in my last term at school. A place in Dorset it wasâI was very happy there.' Hilary saw with relief that there was no longer the frightening bluish look round her lips, but thought they must make sure she really did get to the hospital within the hour.
âMy parents were abroad,' said Madeleine. âBut I was used to thatâI'd grown up during the war years, remember, and my father was touring with ENSA. My mother usually went with him. She died right at the end of the war, and from then on my father travelled even moreâbut he always came back to England for school holidays, or I joined him wherever he was. That year he was in Italy, working with some theatre company. I was going to spend the summer with himâhe said I'd learn some Italian and enjoy the sunshine.' She paused, but Hilary thought it was not a pause of pain or weakness; it was more that she was trying to arrange the memories in order.
âBefore the term ended, I had an affair,' she said. âAn older manâhis name isn't important, he was a temporary member of staff at the school, giving us a series of talks on music. That was the starting point, of course. I told him about my father, and he was interested.'
âMusic,' said Caley softly, and she looked at him and smiled.
âYes,' she said. âHe was a musician. I should like to tell you it was all deeply romantic, but it wasn't really. It was hasty and furtiveâhe was torn with guilt afterwards and I was embarrassed.' She made a dismissive gesture with one hand. âWe don't need any sentiment about that. But after he had goneâand I never knew where he wentâthere was the consequence. I was to have a child. Well, today that wouldn't have mattered much, no one gives it a second thought, do they? They have the child and carry on with whatever they were doing, somehow weaving the child into the pattern of their life and adjusting where necessary. Or they have an abortion. But this was 1950: an illegitimate child was a deeply shameful thing and abortion was illegal. I was horrified and I had no idea what to do. In retrospect, I know I could have told my fatherâhe wouldn't have given a hoot for any scandal and would have supported me to the hilt. But I didn't realize that at the time. You don't always think very logically at seventeen. So I wrote to one of the dancers who had sometimes stayed with my parents: her name was Elise Le Brunâit wasn't her real name, of course, but it was what she was always called. She was getting on for seventy by then, but she was one of those indestructible Cockneys. She always said she could tell a few tales about her youth, although she never told them to meâbut my father said she had been quite a girl in the old Tarleton days. Whatever she had been, she was kindness itself to me,' said Madeleine. âI stayed with herâmy father thought I had cancelled the Italian trip because I wanted to spend that summer with a school friendâand Elise got me into a nursing home for the birth.' She looked at Caley. âForgive me for what I did afterwards,' she said, âbut I was half bullied, half coaxed into it.'
âYou gave the child away for adoption,' said Hilary. She could not quite associate this unknown child from that long-ago hasty love affair with the quietly spoken man she had known slightly at the Harlequin offices, but the facts were gradually becoming clear.