Ghost's Sight (5 page)

Ghost tried anyway. “I never said Conn was wrong.” He was about to say more when he heard the voices from outside. “They’re here.” He looked over at Gerry again.

Gerry looked into Ghost’s eyes. “I will be back, I promise you.” He reached out to cup Ghost’s face as the Witch stood.

“I’ll meet them while you say your farewells for now,” the Witch said. Gerry’s head turned toward her, but she smiled a little, shaking her head. “It’s yours to tell, lad. I’ll say nothing to Mother.” She left the kitchen, the door to the house squealing as she left.

“I know you’ll be back,” Ghost said with quiet assurance. He tilted his face up, wanting to feel Gerry’s lips on his one more time before Gerry had to go.

Gerry groaned a little as he captured Ghost’s mouth in a kiss. Ghost returned the kiss, not quite as clumsy as the night before, knowing what to expect now and wanting the caress.

“Are you coming out with me?” Gerry asked. “You could say hello to Mother.”

Ghost shook his head. It was so hard to explain, but for Gerry he tried. “It’s been just me and the Witch for so long. It’s hard to talk to other people. I never know what to say, and then the words get all tangled in my mouth.”

“You can talk to me,” Gerry said, cupping Ghost’s cheek in his hand. “Oh, Moon shine on me, when you look at me like that, I want to devour you.”

Ghost smiled. “I can talk to you because you’re different. You don’t care if I’m not like everyone else.” He ran his fingers across the light stubble on Gerry’s jaw. “I would let you devour me. I don’t feel afraid with you.”

“I should go outside and see Mother.” Gerry still made no move to leave, his hand sliding into Ghost’s hair. “Wait for me. Promise.”

Ghost smiled again. No one had ever asked for his promise before. The Witch never needed to ask because she saw into him, or at least as far as anyone could see. The visions wrapped around him and hid him from her sisters, but she could always tell if he meant his words, and so she never asked him to give his word to her. It felt good to be asked, like he was truly a person.

“I promise,” Ghost said, with a tiny shiver. “Now go, and talk to Mother.”

***

“How does the leg feel?” Mother asked, watching Gerry as he heated water for tea. “It was a long walk from the Witch’s house.”

Gerry looked over his shoulder at his alpha with a grin on his face. “You asked me that a double hand of times on the way home, and you made us rest three times. It’s a little sore, but I can bear weight on it just fine.” He measured tea into the large pot they used and put out three mugs. As much as he hated the prospect of Conn’s dramatics, Conn needed to be a part of the conversation. That was how families worked, as Mother had said more times than Gerry cared to count.

“Should I worry, about this talk you want to have?” Mother did not sound any different than usual, but Gerry knew him well enough to pick out the faint note of concern in the calm voice.

“No, don’t worry. Call it growing pains.” Gerry opened the front door. “Conn? Come have tea.” He went back to the hearth to pour the hot water over the leaves in the pot, bringing it to the table to steep.

Mother set the pot of honey next to the teapot, getting down a loaf of rich brown bread and setting it on a board with a knife. Conn came in, hurrying over to the table to claim the seat beside Mother, while Gerry took the bench opposite his family, rehearsing his words in his head one last time.

“It isn’t tea time,” Conn said, but he reached to cut a thick slice of bread anyway.

Mother poured the tea, his strong hands around his cup as he waited for Gerry to speak. Conn stirred a bit of honey into the tea and nibbled on some bread, dark blue eyes fixed on Gerry.

“You know that we’ve talked about my starting a family on my own one day,” Gerry began, pleased to hear the steadiness of his own voice. “I wasn’t ready to hurry out the door, but I think we all know I have an alpha personality, and certainly you’ve been teaching me how to be a proper alpha, Mother. How to provide for a family, how to care for dependents, and I’m grateful to you for that.”

“No gratitude is needed,” Mother said, but Gerry heard the pleased note in the older man’s voice. Conn did as well, judging by the dark look he shot Gerry, as well as the way he moved a little closer to Mother.

Gerry took a deep mental breath and tackled it. “I’m not unhappy as your dependent, but I want more. You’ve been preparing me for the day when I’d reach out and find someone of my own. And I think I’ve found a reason to reach for more. I’m pretty sure I’ve found someone I want to ask to join me as my first dependent.” He waited for the reactions he was sure would come, Mother with questions about his plans, Conn with recriminations and accusations. It was not a long wait for Conn.

“Wait, what? You’re just going to fucking leave us? Just like that?” Conn asked, his cheeks flushing with temper. “After all Mother’s done for you?”

“Conn.” Mother’s voice was quiet, but Gerry heard the authority in it. Conn turned around to look up at Mother.

Before Gerry could say a word, Mother continued. “Gerry and I have talked about this before, for almost a year now. Gerry’s a good hunter, and he works well with me as a guard, but a man wants more sometimes than to be a dependent. Gerry has the makings of a good alpha, one who’ll care for his dependents. If that’s where his path takes him, who am I to argue with the guidance of the Lady?”

The younger man lowered his eyes, and Gerry could almost hear Conn’s thoughts. It would give Conn all of Mother’s attention, but Gerry figured Conn liked the idea of having two caretakers. The family wanted for little with Mother and Gerry’s skill at hunting, not to mention the goods and produce they received for acting as guards. But without Gerry there to help, Mother might expect Conn to do more, and the kid did not like to work.

“Maybe the Witch’s pet witched him, with those ghost eyes of his,” Conn said, but it lacked real venom. Mother ignored the remark, as did Gerry.

Gerry sighed a little. “I don’t even know if Ghost and I will work out, but I want to try. I want to see him again, and see how I feel, how he feels. If we both agree, then I want to offer to be his alpha. I’ll give the Witch a fair compensation. I thought a hand of sind might be fair.”

Conn made a rude noise. “You think that washed-out little thing is worth a fucking hand of sind?”

“I gave your sire a pair of sind for you, Conn, and you were only a small thing, begging in the streets to feed the both of you.” Mother gave Conn one of his infrequent frowns. Gerry watched Conn grow pale at that sign of Mother’s disapproval. “Ghost knows much of healing, and I watched him read the ancient words on the Witch’s pots and jars. He might not be a hunter, but he has skills.”

The kid was near to panic by now, and Gerry felt an unexpected surge of sympathy. Conn was largely what Mother had let him become. If he was unskilled at hunting, he made up for it in bed. Still, it was not Gerry’s place to reassure Conn. It might well have been that Mother wanted Conn to learn a lesson, to understand that others had worth in Mother’s eyes for reasons that lay outside a bedroom. Gerry saw this as another lesson in being an alpha and kept quiet.

Conn made a last attempt. “Why can’t you take him, Mother? He can be a part of this family.” Conn leaned into Mother, his blue eyes wide and guileless.

Mother only shook his head, not giving in to Conn for once. “Gerry’s ready to be on his own, and it’s what Gerry wants. He asks for little, and gives a great deal. If he wants to offer for Ghost to become his dependent, then I’m in favor.”

Conn’s shoulders slumped, his head drooping. “I’m sorry, Mother. I’m just worried about you, and how this will affect you.”

Gerry tried to mask his incredulity at Conn’s brazen act, all sympathy for his fellow dependent disappearing, but Mother had a weakness when it came to the kid. If the man chose to believe that the little brat was sincere, Gerry was not about to step in and try to discredit the kid. If all went as he hoped, Gerry would be done dealing with Conn soon enough.

Mother took a sip of his tea, ignoring Conn for the moment. “What are your plans, if Ghost is willing to become your dependent?”

Gerry was glad to be on safer ground for the moment, gladder still to see that Mother had not fallen for Conn’s ploys. “I might want to strike out on my own as far as taking a dependent, but I don’t see why we can’t work together. If you need a second for guard work, I’m happy to work for you, and you can set my share of the fee. I’m happy to hunt with you as well, and we can share the kills. That way, we’re each free to decide what we’ll do with our share, if we need it for our own larders, or if we want to trade it. Same with pelts and hides, although we can’t exactly cut up a hide or a pelt to share it.”

The younger hunter paused, his cheeks feeling warm as he fell silent. Gerry could hear the conviction in his own voice, along with a faint note of pleading, but he could not have said what it was that he was pleading for. It could have been absolution, or acceptance, recognition that he was making an alpha’s choices.

“Would it work for you if we took hides and pelts in turn if an equal split can’t be made?” Mother asked. “And I would think an equal split of the goods received as my guard fee is also fair, since we will each have just the one dependent. If that changes, we can discuss a split that benefits the dependents.”

Gerry nodded, feeling a surge of elation. Mother’s agreement was the approval he needed, a vote of confidence in Gerry, acceptance of him as another alpha. He knew Mother would honor the agreement, just as he knew that he would be able to provide properly for Ghost as a result. Now all he needed to do was see if Ghost was willing. Gerry bit back a chuckle when it hit him that he had already decided he himself was willing.

“It’s still not fair,” Conn said, looking into his tea. “I need you, too, Gerry. You’re not thinking about that.”

Gerry sighed a little. “Half the time, you ignore me, and the rest of the time you’re telling me to fuck off, Conn. It’s not like we’re all that close.”

“That doesn’t make it okay to walk out on me, too,” Conn insisted, a quaver in his voice.

“Conn.” Mother stood and put his mug on the sideboard. “Gerry has a right to live his life.” He went outside as Gerry sighed again.

“You need to stop being so helpless,” Gerry said. “You need to be more help for Mother, and not an endless source of complaints and demands.”

“I try,” Conn protested. “I’m just not good with a bow, and I’m not a very good guard, either.”

Gerry frowned at Conn. “And you can’t stitch leathers, or even wear them, so Mother has to waste trade goods having someone make your clothes. You can’t cook or manage to wash up the dishes. You forget to tend the fire, and you don’t even know where the broom is, much less how to sweep the place out once in a while. And who gets to wash all that clothing of yours? I wash your clothes. I sweep and wash dishes. Mother cooks. You do whatever it is that you do, which seems to be mainly looking for ways to avoid work and making sure I don’t steal Mother away from you.”

Conn looked at Gerry for a long moment. Gerry winced as he saw the hectic flush of color rising on Conn’s cheeks, the blue eyes stormy. It was time for one of Conn’s tantrums, which would end in tears and broken crockery like usual, Gerry thought.

“I can’t fucking believe you just said that to me. You think all I’m after is Mother and being taken care of? You don’t have a fucking clue.” Conn glared at Gerry, but for once he kept his voice low. It was somehow more unnerving than his usual screaming.

“Then enlighten me, because that’s what I see.” Gerry folded his arms across his chest. “I broke my fucking leg trying to get to you, because I heard you scream. I caught my foot in a hole you should have spotted, but you were too busy eating berries and pouting to do your job, weren’t you? If the Witch hadn’t been able to fix my leg, you’d be down to one alpha anyway, so I don’t see where you get off sulking now.”

“Did it ever fucking occur to you that it might be because I care about you, too?” Conn stood up to take his cup over to the sideboard. He dipped hot water from the large cauldron on the hearth, pouring it into the washing tub. His voice was still low as he continued. “The only people that I can remember caring about me at all are you and Mother. I don’t remember my dam at all, and my sire liked his fucking mead more than me. So you walking out like this hurts, all right?”

“Make up your mind, Conn. You can’t have it both ways. You push me away for years and now I’m supposed to understand that it was your twisted little way of saying you cared?” Gerry sighed. “I want to be with Ghost and not as a fellow dependent. I want to be his alpha, to take care of him, and hold him at night. I don’t feel that way about you. You’re family, and I’ll always care about you as family, but I don’t want you like I want him.”

Conn finished washing his cup and Mother’s cup as well, putting them on the sideboard to dry. “I suppose it’s good to have it out in the fucking open. I guess you were pretending, those nights we spent together, right?”

Gerry shook his head. “Don’t, Conn, all right? I’m sorry I was so harsh. But don’t make those nights out to be anything more than what they were. Mother kicked you out of his bed, so you crawled in with me to make him jealous.”

“Is that why you’re fucking that washed-out little thing? It won’t work. Why would I be jealous of that freak?” Conn looked back over his shoulder at Gerry. Gerry could almost see him calculating how much damage he had done with that remark.

Gerry wrapped the bread in its cloth, putting it up on the shelf. “Do us both a favor, Conn. I’m not interested in anything you have to offer.” He did not anticipate the slap that landed on his cheek, far harder than he would have expected from Conn.

“Go fuck yourself, Gerry.” Conn slammed out of the house, leaving Gerry with a reddened cheek and a surge of frustration. It took Gerry a few minutes to realize that Conn had not simply left the cups for him. Conn had washed the cups.

Chapter 5