Gifts of Desire (21 page)

             
To
Ella
, the time was a welcome
, if short,
respite to her constant worry that she wouldn’t be able to find what she was looking for.  She had begun to have a
strange
feeling
in the last few days
;
almost, but not quite a premonition,
that it was very close indeed, just out of her grasp
.  T
hat perhaps she had even looked upon it and no
t recognized it for wha
t it was,
w
hich
made
her search
all the more
maddening.

             
It took the two women several days to prepare and properly store all
the herbs
they had gathered, working only in the time betwee
n other tasks.  During those days
,
Ella
saw
Ceann
hardly at all, and she began to miss him.  She missed him even though all he ever did was scowl at her, or at most growl out a command or a question.  If she missed him, she reasoned, then she must have feelings for him.  No, she
knew
she had feelings for him.  Her heart skipped a beat whenever she saw him, and she longed to be pressed against his steely chest again, as she had been when they rode together
on horseback
. 
She wanted to taste his kiss.
Fully, this time. 
S
he could picture his wide mouth and
soft
lips... his strong square jaw with just a little dimple in the chin… his eyes, such a deep blue
-green
that they
always
reminded her of the sea
…
O
h God,
I’m
in
this
deep.

             
It was nearly dusk, and
Ella
wandered the castle grounds,
no closer to her goal, but
pleased that she was all
owed the freedom
to
at least
be
outside
and
have some time on her own
this evening
. 
She had been working very hard, and a
s much as she enjoyed the company and camaraderie she found with the other women here, she also needed
to be
alone
sometimes
to be quiet and reflect.  She always had, even as a child, when she would steal alone into the forest to play, imagining herself in a world of her own making.  It was a world where anything was possible, and even the smallest of things had
the
deep
est
meaning
.  She had never entirely given it up, even as she grew into a woman. 
Such things were in her blood, at least that was what
Esme
always said, when she caught her dreaming things up or being fanciful.
  The true magic of life is always in the smallest things, she had said.
 
 

             
Humming softly to herself,
still occupied with thoughts of the laird,
she began to follow an old dirt path she had noticed
some days ago
, curious to see where it led. 
It began just behind the stables, and did not look as if it was used too often. 
More than likely
it marked the way to a favorite trysting spot. 
She smiled at the thought
of lovers meeting secretly in the shelter of the trees
.
  Then she frowned as she thought of Ceann perhaps stealing away with a pretty lass…
pulling her into his strong arms, bending down to kiss her with his wide mouth and soft lips…
 

             
S
he turned a corner of the path
as
it went through a small copse, kicking
sulkily
at a stone near her foot.
  Her
very
skin tingled just before
she
looked up,
startled to see an old woman sitting on a
small
stone
bench there, amongst the shadows
of an old oak tree;
someone
she had not seen before,
either at the castle
or in the village. 
Strange, she thought she had met nearly everyone by now. 
Ella
gave a friendly smile
as she approached the woman
.  But h
er smile
faltered as she drew closer.  She could feel it, the
subtle
thrumming of
energy
, the slight push of a force unseen.
 
The woman had the Sight, or more. 
She barely suppressed
a gasp
of dismay
as she saw the amulet
which
she
wore around her neck
.
 
This woman was of Esme’s
own
clan.  Why was she here? 
Her mind spun precariously. 
Curiously, her
first thought was of
Ceann
, not, as it should be, of her quest
. 
Were they calling her back? 
No!
The thought of leaving him
now
was…

             
The woman smiled and s
hook her head. “No
, child. 
Calm yourself. 
Your
work here is far from done.”

             
Ella
’s gaze went to the woman’s face.  Of course, she had heard her thoughts.  Her mind had nearly screamed them.  She felt a blush come over her cheeks,
and looked
down
at her feet.
 
Your work here is far from done
, she had said. 
The treasure she had yet to find, of course.
  And here her first thought had been of a man…
she felt her blush deepen.
 
She knew that lately, her quest seemed less important than it had when she’d first arrived, or at least less pressing.  Instead, she had been making new friends and a new life where she shouldn’t be, and worse, falling for the Laird of Tulloch.  Falling hard. 
She took a deep breath. 
“I
know
…
  I’ve
been searching
, but I haven’t found it yet. 
I
won’t
fail, I promise
. 
I just need more time.
” 
She paused.  “And a clue as to what I’m actually looking for would perhaps make it easier…”

             
The old woman chuckled softly and pointed a gnarled finger at her. 
“
Your
problem is,
you
are looking for
a physical
object,
not
the trea
sure you were told to seek. 
You
have already found it
child
,
you
just
have yet to
realize
it.
  We had thought it would be more obvious
by now
, but per
haps ‘tis too much a part of
your
nature to seek what is good for others yet deny yourself.  We
perchance
hadn’t considered that
your
wills could both be so strong.
”

             
Ella
wrinkled her brow.  Why must the Elders always speak in such riddles? 
It was enough to drive one mad at times. 
Almost worse than Malcolm.
Almost.
She’d already found what?
  Had she had her hands on the very thing she sought and yet not known it?  She certainly had thought her
self more observant
than that…
Wait…
not a physical object? 

             
The old woman laughed at her bewildered expression
and at her rambling thoughts
.  “
You
have done fine
lass;
the
Auld
ways run
strong in y
our blood.  I but meant that
your
eagernes
s to help others has blinded
you
to
your
own needs.  To
your
own destiny, a
nd that of
your
one true mate. 
You
have found the
man
you
seek
, b
ut
you
still have
much work to do to give him that which
he
himself
needs
, and that which you will create together.
”

             
“The man?
” 
Could it be that simple?
“
It’s
Ceann
I’m here to find?”  
Ella
looked disbelievingly at the old woman,
her mouth gaping open,
even as she
re
ali
zed in her very
heart
that it was true.  It was what she
had
least expected, but secretly most wanted
.
  Treasure, indeed!  Her heart fluttered
and then beat faster
at the thought that she was now free to spend time with him without guilt plaguing her over it.
  But what treasure
was she to give him
? 
Her
self
?
 
H
e didn’t
seem to want her, or at least he didn’t
want
to want her
.
“
But h
ow do I… I mean,
he pushes me away at every turn..
.”

             
The woman gave her a wry look.
“Surely a lass as smart
as
your
self can break
down
the defenses of
one
mere man.  Why, I myself could have done so when I was younger,
and did.  ‘T
is not so difficult.  Men are simple creatures, when it comes down to it.”

             
Ella
bit her lip.  “Aye, but I’m afraid I don’t have much experience in those
things
.”

             
“
Och, y
ou
do
n’t need any, lass.  It’s in
your
blood. 
You
are a woman, made by Nature to join with a man.  A woman can make a man weak with hunger, and then fill him up and make him whole.  She can revel in her power over him, just as he revels i
n his power over her. 
You
only need listen to what your body craves
, to what
your
heart
tells
you
to do
.”

             
“
I’
ll
try
, but I don’t think that
stubborn
man will give in easily”, she sa
id ruefully, studying
her feet and trying not to imagine her humiliation if she
went about trying
to seduce Ceann
and failed
.

             
“
You
, child, are the one who can heal his heart, and make him whole.
  It is
your
calling to do so
, as
you
have wanted to from the beginning.  Let go
of
your
doubts
now
and
allow
your heart lead you
r
actions. 
The
reward
s
will
be greater than you can imagine, for the both of you.
”

             
When
Ella
looked up again, the woman was gone. 
Whether she had slipped silently away into the trees, or had only been a vision, she didn’t know. 
Let your heart lead your actions
…  A
nd what, then, did her heart
tell
her to do?
 
She knew what her body wanted
, and her heart…
aye,
it wanted
exactly
the same thing. 
She held a burning desire to possess the man she knew
Ceann
really
was
beneath
the anger and
the
pain
he clung to so tenaciously
.  And an even greater desire that he possess her.  She began to pace along the narrow path, wondering
if
she would ever manage to brea
k through to his heart
. 
What she wouldn’t give to have the heart of such a man! 
She would have to go slow and gentle,
as one would tame a wild beast, she mused.
Lead h
im to eat out of her hand… and then..
.  She giggled
outloud
,
anticipation and hope churning in her blood.
 
And
her
great
est
burden
had been lifted from her shoulders; no more searching the castle. 
She
had nearly tripped on a
tree root
before she noticed how dark it had gotten.  T
he
other
women would
have
notice
d
her missing
by now
and
might
be worried.  She had best get back
and help with the evening meal, before they sent someone looking for her.
Lifting her skirts, she ran
quickly
back to the keep.
  For the first time since her arrival at Tulloch, she was not thinking of how she might rummage through the
buttery
unseen.  She laughed as she ran
,
overcome with mirth
and hope
and
thrilled tonight
just
to be alive
.
  How long until she would know his kiss?