Gifts of Desire (44 page)

             
Iona sat beside her, and placed two fingers on her fluttering pulse.  “Your heart betrays your words, love.”

             
“Does he know about the child?”

             
“Aye, he knows”.

             
She heaved a breath. 
“Then that is why he comes here”, she said
miserably
.  “He doesn’t want me, he wants his heir.”

             
Iona smoothed her hair.  “I think you know that isn’t true.  Do you not remember what was between you before there was a child?”

             
Yes, he lusted for her
, and she for him
.
  But he never wanted her for his own. 
He didn’t want any woman, any wife..
.
had he changed his mind now, just because she carried his child?

             
She took a deep breath. 
“I’m sorry
Iona;
I’m not usually so
bad-tempered
.”

             
Iona smiled, “Tis only the babe
that makes you so, it means he’
s strong and healthy.”

             
There was a
thunderous
pounding on the door then,
and
Ella
jumped
up from
her seat, startled.  Even though s
he knew exactly who it was.

             
Ceann
had
leaped from his horse and
reached the cottage before Ethan could even dismount, and was
hammering
at the door
with his fists
, shouting for
Ella
.

             
Ethan sighed and shook his head.  “
Ceann
!  Do
you
really think they’re going to open the door to a madman?”

             
Ceann
turned from the door.  “Then what do you suggest?”

             
Ethan
gave him a quelling look and
went
calmly
up to the door.  “Iona! 
Ceann
is here and he
wishes to speak with
Ella
.”

             
The door opened a crack, and Iona peered out. 
“Aye?  Is he
here to fix the mess he’s made then?”

             
Ceann
groaned and ra
n his hands through his hair.  ‘Mess’
was an understatement, i
f he’d ever heard one.

             
“Aye.”

             
The door opened, and Iona stepped aside. 
Ethan gave him a little shove forward, with a whispered
good luck
. 
As
Ceann
went in, Iona stepped outside with Ethan, closing the door
firmly
behind her.  Ethan grinned at her.  “Do you think that’s wise, to leave them alone in there together?  I fear
Ceann
might be
seriously injured
, or worse
.”

             
Iona laughed.  “And if he is, he will take his punishment, and gladly
, I’m sure
.  Don’t
worry;
all will be well in the end.”

             
Ceann
leaned against the
closed door, staring at
Ella
, who looked back at him from where she stood across the room.  She was
even
more beautiful than he had remembered, and he wanted more than anything to rush forward and hold her in his arms; but he dared not. 

             
He took a step forward, then paused.  Now that he had found her, he didn’t know what to say to her.  Words
just
didn’t seem like enough.  “
Ella
, I…
I’m so sorry.”

             
She nodded.  “I know.”

             
Ceann
felt the spark of hope begin to grow.  Maybe she didn’t hate him as much as he’d feared.

             
He took another tentative step toward her, but she held up her hand, stopping him.  “I have to know
,
Ceann
, why you’re here
.
”

             
“Why I’m here
?
” he asked, incredulous.  “God Ella, how can you ask that!
  I never should have sent you away!  I was blinded
by my own insecuri
ty and pain, and I couldn’t see
what was right before me.  I saw d
eception where there was none.
I’m sorry,
Ella
,
mo cridhe
.
  I would do anything to make it up to you.”

             
Ella
shook her head slightly.  “What I mean, is, who did you come for, me, or your
babe
?  Would you have
come after me
at all if there were no child?”

             
“Aye… I want our child, of course I do, but i
t nearly killed me to let you go.  I
lost my mind for awhile; I left, wandered
for days.  If I’d have thought to bring any whiskey with me, I wou
ld have drowned
myself in drink, because
I couldn’t bear to think of the rest of my life without you in it,
Ella
, even though at the time I though
t I was doing the
honorable
thing.
I have truly never felt such pain, nor do I ever wish to again.  When I
finally
ca
me back, and Maggie told me, I…
damn
…
I’m not doing a very good job of this.”

             
Ella
turned back to face the window.  She knew he was a proud man,
a chief,
a warrior, and it could not be easy for him to come to her like this.  He looked, in fact
,
more distraught than she could have imagined.
 
And he hadn’t been sleeping well, either, if the dark smudges under his blue-green eyes were any indication. 
She knew,
in truth
had known all along, that she could not keep herself from him.  She was bound to him by something that defied explanation,
something that was greater than each of them alone,
and even now she could feel the
irresistible
pull of him from across the room
, trying to draw her closer
.  But she had
a lot of
pride too, and the wound he had inflicted on her heart was one from which she hadn’t expected to recover.
 

             
He turned to the side and began to pace, shoving his hands through his
thick sable
hair. 
It fell back in wild disarray
around his shoulders. 
She watched him for a moment, marveling that such a man could belong to her. 
For he did belong to her. 
She took in his handsome face with its wide, sensuous mouth and strong, masculine jaw.  Then her eyes lowered to the hard, muscular lines of his body, his broad chest and
strong, lean legs.  And beneath his kilt… her breath hitched.

             
When he turned arou
nd again, she took a step closer
,
h
er arms
crossed and her chin tilted up
proudly. 
He dared not even breath
e
, but his eyes beseeched her.  “
Ella
, y
ou are my heart, and I will not lose you.  Not ever or for any reason.”
  He took the last few steps to where she stood.  Taking
a deep breath
he
put his hand gently on her stomach.  “Is it really true?
  The child is…
mine?
”  He still could not
quite
believe it, not after so long thinking it impossible.

             
“Aye, you will have a son, or so Ethan says.
”  The joy she saw on his face
made tears sting the back of her eyes.  That she could
be the one to
give him such a gift…

             
Ceann
saw her unshed tears, and reached to wipe
one
away
as it escaped and rolled down her cheek
.
  As overjoyed as he was, he
knew he
could not expect her to feel the same about the bairn. 
“I’m so sorry
Ella
.
”  He whispered.  “
I know this wasn’t
…
expected.  I truly didn’t think…
I mean I never would have…
had I known…
”

             
“I know.  I wanted…
  I wanted, too.”

             
He
pulled
her into his arms
then
, holding her close
, breathing in her scent
.
  His love, his mate.
 
“
We’
ll be wed right away.  I should have wed you months ago, it was what I truly wanted, but I thought…”

             
She would wed him, there was never any question.  But she would not give in so easily. 
“
You thought I was a spy. 
I understand why Ceann, I do.  But
I don’t know
;
I need more time
to think
.  If I decide to wed you…”

             
His face grew more intense, his eyes burning with a fierce possession.
“B
ut you have no choice.  I
will
have you
”, he said in an urgent whisper.
 
“
You are mine and mine alone
,
now and forever.  Now that I have you back, I will never let you go again.
  Never!
”  He leaned down and claimed her mouth, savagely, letting her feel the force of the emotion behind his words.

             
She pushed against him, breaking off the kiss.
  “It’s too sudden, I need time to think about everything…”

             
“And I need to make
you
mine…
now.  I won’t wait any longer.  My child will have a name.”

             
Ella
glared
at him.  “It is all about the child!  I knew it!  It’s not me you
want;
it’s your precious heir!”  Though she sensed that she was
more than likely
being unreasonable, she could not hold back the anger and hurt she had been living with these past weeks.  It had to come out or it would sit like a weight in her
gut, always between them
.

             
He looked
completely
bewildered
at her outburst.  “No
, I want the child with all my heart, but I want you too.  I mean, I want you more…”

             
Ella hit him in the chest. 
“Aghhh!  I’m staying here for now
Ceann
.  I need more time.”

             
He pressed his lips in a tight line and shook his head. 
“
No
,
you
’r
e
coming with me.  I’ll not lose you again.  I
can’t
lose you again.”

             
She started to protest, but in one motion he swept her into his arms, holding her tight as she struggled against him.  He kicked the door open and stepped out into the yard, even as she swore and screamed and pummeled him with her fists.
  God, it felt good to let go of it all!

             
Ethan an
d Iona
still
stood there
in the dooryard
,
now with
identical looks of bemusement on their faces.

             
“Did it go well,
Ceann
?”  Ethan asked
.