Gilded Hearts (The Shadow Guild Series) (15 page)

“I’m sure Dennison will suspect me of taking advantage anyway, but you look”—
beautiful, stunning, arousing
—“as you should.”

“Good.”

Silence stretched between them as Samuel finished dressing. He couldn’t keep up with the torrent of emotions raging inside him. Something had happened to him five years ago, something he couldn’t quite gasp. Coupled with his desire to finally be free, to move past the hell of his childhood and into a life of his own making. All he needed to do was take what he wanted and run.

“We could leave.”

“Sam—”

“There’s nothing stopping you now. You’re a full archivist with the ability to come and go as you will. Once this is done and we find out who killed Mary and Annie, you could disappear.”

Piper sighed as she clasped her hands together. “And where would you suggest we go? I have a head full of someone else’s memories.” Piper turned away from him, her hair shielding her face from his view.

He shuffled closer. The pressure in his head increased, making it hard to concentrate, to form thoughts that made sense. “We could take an airship to Canada, start again. I have contacts who could forge us new identities. I’m sure the Company would have the means for getting Annie out of your head.”

“You’d move to a war zone? That hardly seems rational.”

“The king sends reinforcements to Canada monthly. It would be easy enough to get a posting with the militia. The fight with the United States can’t last forever. I could sneak you in. Marry you. We could do this, Pip. Once this case is done, we could be together.”

“Marry?” She turned to face him, eyes wide. “Are you mad? Do you honestly think I’d marry you after this? I don’t even know who you are.”

“When I grow up, Imma gonna get married.”

Piper pretended to hold flowers in front of her as she skipped down the dark corridor. She liked playing here, no matter what that grumpy Sam said. Master Ryerson was a bit scary, but he liked her. Called her a silly goose once and even mostly smiled. That made her giggle.

“Who’s going to want to marry you?”

Samuel’s brown hair was too long again. It flopped forward, so she couldn’t see his eyes properly. Master Ryerson wouldn’t like that. Piper did though. He was sitting on the floor, his chin resting on his knees.

“I dunno. But when I’m older I’ll get married and have babies and live in a cottage by the sea. My mum said that’s what good girls do.”

“You’re stupid.”

Piper stopped dancing and looked at him. “I’m not…”

“You can’t get married because you’ll be an archivist. We’re not allowed.”

“That’s dumb.” Piper wasn’t sure why the older boy was here, but she could tell he was sad. Coming to sit beside him, she made sure not to get too close. He didn’t seem to like that. “You don’t really think I’m stupid, do you?”

Samuel looked up and she could tell he’d been crying. He wasn’t now though. Now he just looked sad.

He shook his head. “No, I don’t. I’m sorry.”

“Okay.” Piper rested her head on his shoulder and was happy when he didn’t pull away. “Maybe you and I can get married. Someday.”

“Maybe.”

Something had changed from the moment Samuel had gotten out of bed. Under his touch, Piper had been mad with a burning need she’d never experienced before. Her body had flared to life, the ache between her legs had overridden her reason until all she could think about was having Samuel ease it. There’d been a spark, a connection between them and Piper had thought this would finally be the moment she experienced what Annie whispered about.

But in the blink of an eye, something had changed.

He had changed. And it hurt her as much as it angered her. There was nothing stopping them from being their true selves, nothing preventing them from simply being Sam and Pip. And yet, he’d stopped when they’d been so close to finally having the one thing she’d always dreamed of. Sam pushed her away when she was the one with the most to lose.

“You know I can’t marry you.”

Samuel stiffened and the lines around the corner of his eyes and mouth tightened. “Why not? We could escape.”

“You know why not.”

“No, I don’t. This isn’t like that night. They let me go and I’ve made my way in the world. I can do it again someplace else. You can, too.”

“I may not have chosen this life for myself, but it’s who I am now. Those people—Dennison, Jones, Master June—they are my family. You can’t expect me to leave them behind.”

“They took you from your real family. Took away your choices.”

Ah, they were back to this old argument. “Few of us have any real control of our lives.”

“You were a child, brought here from Wales because a recruiting agent saw potential in you. They gave your mum some money and took you away forever. How the hell is that a choice?”

He’s gotcha there. It’s not right for a wee one to be taken away from a mum. And to not let you be touched, be a woman—that’s worse than death.

Closing her eyes, Piper swallowed down her frustration. “You know what I mean.”

“This is it, our second chance.” Samuel growled low in his throat, his fists clenched at his sides. “Let me keep you safe.”

“I don’t need you to save me.” She smiled at him, knowing he was simply trying to deal with his frustration. “But New London needs your help. You can’t walk away and leave a killer wandering the streets. I know you well enough.”

Canada and its natural resources were the center of a bitter war between the rebel American army and New Britain’s soldiers. Yes, she could imagine a life on the frontier, perhaps finding a job with the ingenious Hudson’s Bay Company. She could work as an engineer, building ships and rigs to explore the north. Samuel would probably even be able to continue his police work. It would be perfect.

The idea of escape was a dream, a beautiful one she had to admit, but still a dream. She couldn’t run, and this time she believed Samuel wouldn’t run either. He wouldn’t leave until this Jack the Ripper was caught, even if that put his own happiness at stake.

And herself? The Guild Masters would never let her go, especially with the thoughts of another still fixed in her head. Sooner or later the Administrators would catch up with her and take her home. Even if she’d often thought of running away as a child, of finding a life beyond the walls of the Archives, those possibilities were gone. The longer she’d stayed, the stronger the bonds she’d formed with the others. Dennison, Jones, they’d become her family. Master June had quietly slipped into the void left by her mother. No matter how much Sam meant to her in the past, she couldn’t walk away from everyone she loved, the people who were there to help her move on when he’d run out of her life. He’d already rejected her twice; she couldn’t risk that he’d do that again, leaving her with nothing.

Samuel walked over to the hearth and began to play with the dying embers, encouraging them back to life with the tip of the poker. She knew he was upset—those signs hadn’t changed in the least since he was younger—but there was nothing she could do to make things right.

“It’s full dark now.” Samuel’s voice startled Piper from her thoughts. He stood at the widow, peeking beyond the thin blind. “He should be along soon.”

“Dennison will make sure we’re fine. I know you don’t trust him, but he was always your friend.”

“You’re right, I don’t trust him. He always thought he was better than us.” Samuel paused, staring at her. The muscles in his jaw danced as he clenched and unclenched his teeth. Finally, Samuel ran a hand through his hair and down his face. “Annie.”

The non sequitur had her frowning. “What about her?”

“What is it like? Having her in your head?”

You be careful now, pet. While he might have a pretty cock, that doesn’t mean you can trust him. He’s still a copper, and they don’t always do what they should.

“She’s noisy.” A rush of disgust flooded her body, making it difficult to maintain eye contact with Samuel. “She doesn’t trust you because you work for the King’s Sentry. It’s difficult to keep her feelings separate from my own.”

“My work has had me doing many things that some of the less savory citizens of New London don’t appreciate. It’s taken me places I’d rather not go.” He balled his hand into a fist and his body swayed toward her, and yet he held himself back. “Dark places, doing dark things.”

“Only what you had to, Sam.”

Samuel let loose a desperate laugh. Turning, he stalked across the room and dropped to his knees at her feet. “Not always. Sometimes I had to fight myself to ensure I didn’t cross the line, go too far. When I first joined the Sentry there was this case. A clockwerker accused of killing his workmen and using their bodies to fuel his machines. I was told to get the information out of him no matter what. I did, too. I beat him until I broke his jaw.”

Christ.

“My fist was bloody and my fingers swollen for days. Timmons took me home after that, made sure I wasn’t going to go out and kill someone. His words. Not mine.”

Knowing that there was darkness inside Samuel didn’t come as a surprise. “Why?”

Samuel snorted as he ran a hand through his hair. “If you’d seen the bodies, you wouldn’t be asking me that.”

“Did it work?”

“No.”

“Why not?” How could someone withstand that much violence, pain?

“I could feel his hate, not just at us for having caught him, but toward everyone, all of New London. Toward me. But the bastard didn’t say a word. It didn’t matter how much I hit him.” With a lick of his lips, Samuel lowered his head. “That’s not the worst of it.”

How could it be any worse than nearly beating a man to death? “Tell me.”

“Even now I remember how it felt to punch him. I was horrified at first, couldn’t believe what I was doing, but then I started to like it. After Timmons pulled me off him, all I could think of was how much my hand hurt and how horrible a human being I was. I’d nearly killed a man.”

No. “I don’t believe it. How could you enjoy something like that?”

“Not everyone has a gentle spirit. Some of us have to work to keep ourselves level.”

Piper was well aware that she had lived a sheltered life. But this was a much different Samuel than the boy who’d grown up with her. He’d grown hard since striking out on his own. What would life be like, spending her days and nights with someone like that?

Here, let me show you.

A flash of memory not her own filled her mind’s eye. Annie hadn’t looked long at him, but enough that Piper had a clear vision of who the man was.

He liked a hard fuck. Came to me more than once because he said he knew how far he could push me. You’ll need to try it with that sergeant of yours. Have him squeeze your throat as he pounds into you. Your knees up by your shoulders so you’re opened wide.

Piper groaned and fell forward against Samuel.

“What?” He caressed the back of her neck, holding her close. “Pip?”

“Annie…” She swallowed hard, stunned by the strength of her sudden lust. “Jack, I think.”

“He’d been with her?”

“More than once. I think she was trying to pacify him. He wanted the Children of Osiris to accept him as their own.”

Oh, they all used my services, pet. I was more a woman than you’ll ever be.

“Shut up.”

The things I could teach you. You’d make your Sam scream, feel pleasure in ways he didn’t know possible.

Piper squeezed Samuel’s shoulder hard. “Shut up, shut up,
shut up
.”

“Pip?”

Looking up, she let her nose brush along the side of Samuel’s cheek. “I see him in my head, but from her memories. She’s… I think she’s holding something back from me.”

Ah, so yer not as dumb as some of them others.

“Tell me, Annie.”

No.
It was odd, but Piper knew the other woman had somehow retreated to one of the far corners of her mind.

“She’s hiding from me now.”

Samuel ran a hand down her arm, squeezing at her wrist. “We’ll figure it out together. I’ll help you if you trust me.”

“I do. I always have.”

“You probably shouldn’t.”

Desire flared in his eyes as his gaze raked down her body. A blush heated her face and she had to fight the urge to squirm away from Samuel and his heated look.

“I’ve tried to tell you, I’m not a good man. Given enough temptation, I’ll simply take what I want. What we
both
want.”

Her lungs tightened and Piper had to fight to draw in air.

She jumped at the frantic rapping on the door. Samuel wouldn’t let her step away, the light grip on her arm might as well have been steel. “Dennison.”

She watched as Samuel checked his gun, reloading two bullets into the chambers. It was so easy to forget that he was a dangerous man. One with a sharp mind and faultless logic, and all the strength of a twenty-four-year-old male in prime physical condition. He was full of hatred and mistrust for others and for himself, the result of what the Archivists had done to him, and those feelings informed his thinking even now that he was free.

It broke Piper’s heart.

“You’re a good man, Sam. No matter what you’ve done in the past.” She smiled when his startled gaze landed on her. “Don’t ever forget that.”

Samuel jerked the door open, catching the other man’s hand in the air, mid knock.

“Ah, ever the dutiful sergeant. On patrol, I see.” Dennison pushed past and marched straight to Piper’s side. “I trust you are unharmed, Miss Smith.”

“Are you implying I would do something to injure her? I’d give my life to keep her safe and you know it, Dennison.”

Piper hated the smirk on Dennison’s lips, knowing he enjoyed teasing a man he saw as a traitor to what they’d been raised to believe. “Sam has treated me with the utmost respect. Like an equal and a treasured friend. So stop being an ass, Emmet.”

Dennison straightened, pulling back the hand he’d offered her. Choosing to make a stand, Piper moved beside Samuel so their arms brushed in a silent show of solidarity. “I hope you managed to throw the Administrators off our scent. They’re the last thing we need to manage.”

Her voice was a steady force, far calmer than the maelstrom blasting within her. Lust and fear, warring with the need to break free from this haze of confusion. Piper’s hands shook and she was forced to lace them behind her back to hide the fact.

Dennison’s gaze shifted between the two of them before he scratched his scalp with his fingers. She knew he was trying to act casual, but she’d spent far too much time in his company to fall for the ruse. He was angry and frustrated, unable to hide his balled fist or conceal the jumping muscles of his jaw. Dennison always prided himself on his understanding and control of any situation. He was clearly not in control of this one.