Gilt Trip (25 page)

“I think we're good,” said Carmela. She beamed at Babcock. “Thank goodness you showed up when you did!”

“I think you've got some serious explaining to do,” Babcock told her. His gaze was stern but his voice was gentle.

Shamus ambled up. “Wow.” He pointed to the dent in the Crown Vic. “It's a dang shame about your car.”

“Taxpayers won't like paying for that,” Babcock agreed.

Ava let out a gasp and pointed at Carmela's shoes. “And look at your poor shoes! They're completely ruined!”

Carmela glanced down. Her yellow silk shoes were streaked with white frosting and dappled with pink and white cake jimmies. Chances were, she'd never dance in them again.

“Don't worry, babe,” said Shamus, puffing out his chest, trying his best to act important. “I'll buy you another pair.”

In an instant, Babcock was at Carmela's side. He draped a possessive arm around her waist, pulled her close to him, and gave her a big kiss.

“No,” he said, “
I'll
buy her another pair.”

Dimensional Paper Images with Rubber Stamps

Take about 6 Kleenex tissues and get them nice and damp. Now lay the tissues over one of your favorite rubber stamps. (A simple image works the best—I used a teapot image.) Press carefully so the image begins to show through. Now carefully remove the tissue and let your piece dry overnight. When the embossed image is completely dry, you can cut it into any shape you want, then paint it, gild it, or leave it plain. These embossed images are a great addition to handmade cards or add interest to scrapbook pages.

Greeting Card Pockets

When you're scrapbooking a special event—such as Christmas, Mother's Day, etc.—why not include the greeting cards that you received? Just create a pocket on your page and stick the cards in there. Your photos from that day, along with the cards, will make for a more memorable page.

There's Life in That Old T-Shirt!

Fun graphic emblems from the front of a T-shirt can make a great cover design for an album. Just cut them out and adhere with hot glue.

A Hot Look!

To achieve a sort of “burned” look on your photos or papers, tear the edges so they have a nice rough look, then use a brown ink pad to color the edges.

Leftover Bits of Paper

Don't toss out all those smaller, leftover pieces of colorful scrapbook paper. Use them to make napkin rings and place cards.

Adding Instant Age

Want to make a black-and-white photo look like an heirloom? Take a wet tea bag and smear it across your photo. Depending on how much tea you smooth on, you can adjust your sepia tone from very light to a medium tone. And, of course, you have the pleasure of drinking a nice cup of tea!

Wineglass Charms

Have you seen those expensive wineglass charms that are sold in gourmet shops? You can easily create your own using a few colored beads and memory wire! You can even laminate tiny photos and use them in conjunction with your beads. Cheers!

Just Your Type

If you are creating a scrapbook page featuring a certain sport or sporting event, hunt through the sports section of your newspaper and snip out some of the various sports words. (Think WIN, VICTORY, and BIG FINISH!) Arranged as a background collage, they'll look great with your sports photos.

Repetition's the Thing

An image is always much more powerful when it's repeated. For example, a stamped image of a bunny is great on your scrapbook page. But several bunnies hippity-hopping across the page is even more fun. Ditto for images such as pumpkins, hearts, or flowers.

Wraps for Gift Soaps

Small bars of handmade soap become wonderful hostess gifts when you create your own “wrap” to go around them. Just use fun paper and stamp it with images such as flowers, bubbles, or hearts. A short, hand-lettered poem would be delightful, too. For example:
Soap smells so sweet when splashing bubbles with your feet.

1 lb. raw shrimp

¹
/
₂
stick butter

¹
/
₄
cup oil

¹
/
₂
tsp. garlic powder

1 Tbsp. lemon juice

¹
/
₂
tsp. salt

2 Tbsps. chopped parsley

2 Tbsps. grated Parmesan cheese

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Clean, wash, and dry shrimp. Melt butter in a 9-by-13-inch pan. Add oil, garlic powder, lemon juice, salt, parsley, and Parmesan, then mix. Add shrimp and mix some more until shrimp are well coated. Bake for 9 to 12 minutes. Serve over pasta or rice. Serves 2.

1
¹
/
₂
cups flour

1 cup sugar

¹
/
₂
tsp. baking soda

¹
/
₂
tsp. salt

¹
/
₂
cup butter, soft

2 eggs

1 banana, very ripe, sliced

¹
/
₃
cup milk

¹
/
₂
cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Beat all ingredients except walnuts at medium speed for 2 minutes. Stir in walnuts, then pour into a greased 9-by-13-inch baking pan. Bake for 25 to 30 minutes or until toothpick comes out clean. Cool and slice into bars. Excellent when topped with whipped cream!

1 frying chicken, cut up

1 cup flour

1 tsp. black pepper

1 tsp. Creole seasoning

¹
/
₂
tsp. paprika

¹
/
₄
tsp. cayenne pepper

¹
/
₂
cup butter, melted

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Wash and pat chicken dry. In a large ziplock bag, combine flour, black pepper, Creole seasoning, paprika, and cayenne pepper. Add chicken and shake well until coated. Line a 9-by-13-inch baking dish with foil and pour in butter. Place chicken in baking dish, skin side down. Bake at 425 degrees for 30 minutes. Then reduce heat to 325 degrees and bake for an additional 45 minutes. Chicken should be golden brown and very tender!

¹
/
₄
cup creamy peanut butter

¹
/
₄
cup soy sauce

¹
/
₄
cup sugar

2 Tbsps. olive oil

1
¹
/
₂
lbs. large shrimp, shelled and deveined

This recipe is perfect for outdoor grilling! In saucepan, heat and stir together peanut butter, soy sauce, sugar, and olive oil. Place shrimp on skewers and brush with peanut butter sauce. Grill over medium-hot heat for 3 minutes, then turn and grill for another 2 minutes or so, basting if needed. Serves 4.

¹
/
₂
cup milk

2 slices white bread

1
¹
/
₂
lbs. ground beef

1 small onion, chopped

1 tsp. salt

¹
/
₂
tsp. pepper

1 tsp. dry mustard

2 eggs

1 (12-oz.) can whole tomatoes

Pour milk into mixing bowl and then add bread. Let stand for a few minutes until all the milk has been absorbed. Break bread into small pieces. Add ground beef, onion, salt, pepper, and dry mustard to bread mixture and mix until well combined. In separate bowl, beat eggs, then add to beef mixture. Shape beef mixture into a round loaf and place in crockpot. Drain tomatoes and pour over beef. Cover and cook on low heat for 5 to 6 hours. Before serving, uncover pot. Turn heat to high and reduce the sauce until it's nice and thick. Serves 4.

1 cup sugar

1 large egg

1 cup peanut butter (any kind)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Mix sugar and egg together, then add in peanut butter. Form dough into 1” balls and press gently with a fork. Bake on greased baking sheet for 10 to 12 minutes. Yields 1 dozen cookies that are so easy to make, it's practically magic!

¹
/
₄
cup honey

1 Tbsp. butter

2 Tbsps. Cajun spice mix

4 cups mixed nuts

Melt honey and butter together in large microwave dish on high for 1 minute. Stir in spice mix, then stir in nuts until all ingredients are well mixed. Cook on high for 6 minutes, stirring nuts every 2 minutes. Spread out to cool, then enjoy.

³
/
₄
cup butter

1 cup onions, minced

1 cup green pepper, diced

6 Tbsps. flour

4 tsps. paprika

salt and pepper to taste

4 cups water

2 lbs. shrimp, peeled

Melt butter in heavy saucepan. Add onions and green pepper and sauté for 2 to 3 minutes. Add flour and stir until well mixed. Add paprika, salt, pepper, and water and simmer for 12 minutes. Add shrimp and simmer for another 15 minutes. Serve over fresh-cooked rice.

1 cup butter

3 squares unsweetened chocolate

2 cups sugar

4 eggs, slightly beaten

1
¹
/
₂
cups sifted flour

1 tsp. baking powder

2 tsps. vanilla

1 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter and chocolate over low heat. Stir in sugar and eggs and mix well. Add sifted flour and baking powder and stir. Stir in vanilla and nuts. Pour batter into greased and floured 9-by-13-inch baking pan and bake for 35 to 40 minutes.

3 cups Bisquick

2 Tbsps. sugar

1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries

¹
/
₄
cup milk

2 eggs

Preheat oven to 400 degrees. In medium bowl, combine Bisquick, sugar, and blueberries. In separate bowl, beat milk and eggs together. Add liquid mixture to dry mixture and stir until moistened but still crumbly. On lightly floured surface, pat dough into a 9-inch circle and cut into wedges. Place on ungreased baking sheet and bake for 10 to 12 minutes or until golden. Serve immediately with butter and jam.

8 slices of bread, cubed

1 lb. ground sausage, cooked

³
/
₄
cup cheddar cheese

¹
/
₂
cup mushrooms, sliced and sautéed

5 eggs

1
³
/
₄
cups milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Place cubed bread in casserole dish, sprinkle cooked sausage on top. Add cheddar cheese and mushrooms. In separate bowl, beat eggs and milk, then pour over top. Let stand for 5 minutes, then bake for 35 minutes until bubbly.

Turn the page for a preview of Laura Childs's next Cackleberry Club Mystery . . .

Eggs in a Casket

Coming January 2014 in hardcover from Berkley Prime Crime!

T
HE
black wrought-iron gates of Memorial Cemetery loomed up through swirling fog like disapproving sentinels as Suzanne's Ford Taurus labored up the narrow, muddy road.

“There it is,” said Toni, pointing. She was scrunched next to Suzanne in the passenger seat, her pert nose pressed flat against the steamed-up windshield. “Dead ahead.”

“Lovely choice of words,” said Suzanne, stealing a quick glance at Toni.

Suzanne Deitz, proprietor of the Cackleberry Club café, and her business partner, Toni Garrett, were stuffed into her car along with four enormous baskets of fragrant flowers. The cemetery's Sesquicentennial Celebration, commemorating its founding one hundred and fifty years ago, was supposed to kick off tomorrow morning. And the plans called for a jubilant array of floral decorations, twenty-one-gun salutes, and candlelight tours of some of the historic graves. But a nasty spate of rain and chilly weather had swooped in from the Dakotas three days earlier and taken up what seemed like permanent residence in the small Midwestern town of Kindred. Now, on this gloomy, rain-soaked Thursday morning, Suzanne wondered if the skies would clear and if the celebration would even happen.

“Careful, careful,” Toni warned as Suzanne navigated the car along the slippery lane that wound past a stone statue of a kneeling angel. The angel was missing the top part of one wing, and its sorrowful face was pitted with age.

“Poor thing,” said Toni. “Got her wings clipped.”

They were churning and chugging their way through the oldest part of the cemetery, the part where settlers and Civil War veterans lay in quiet repose. Here stood enormous first-growth oaks and cottonwoods, trees that had been shooting toward the sky ever since covered wagons had pushed across the prairies into what had been called the Big Woods. Now, spread out under these trees were ancient grave tablets, battered and bruised by the elements and canted so crazily they looked like rows of rotted teeth. Strangely, this part of the cemetery looked like it hadn't been maintained on a regular basis.

“Where are we supposed to drop these flowers again?” Suzanne asked as she peered out the front windshield. Weeping willows hung damply down and swept against the sides of her car, making strange whispering sounds. The overly fragrant aroma of the flowers in her backseat was starting to be a little too reminiscent of a funeral home. For Suzanne, the sooner they dumped these baskets and beat a hasty retreat, the better it would be. After all, Petra, the third member of their troika, was back at the Cackleberry Club, the little cafe they'd founded together a couple of years ago on a wing and a prayer. Petra was prepping food and getting ready for breakfast service, which was—yikes!—supposed to kick off a half hour from now.

“We're supposed to set up the flowers near the Civil War memorial,” said Toni. “At least that's what the folks at the Historical Society told me.” The Historical Society was sponsoring the event, and they'd been a little disorganized of late, what with a brand-new director coming on board and an influx of well-meaning but vaguely ineffectual volunteers.

“So where would that be?” asked Suzanne. She brushed back strands of her graceful, shoulder-length bob as threads of fog swirled outside the car like ethereal cotton candy. Being unfamiliar with this part of the cemetery, she had the feeling that she'd temporarily lost her way. For some reason, every time a marble obelisk or mausoleum floated into view, it gave her the jitters and sent a jolt of adrenaline shooting through her veins.

Easy girl
,
Suzanne told herself.
Just focus on your driving.

Suzanne was on the high side of forty, with silvered blond hair and eyes a deep cornflower blue. She projected a low-maintenance ease and elegance, and her figure was strong and lean. Her shoulders, which peeked out from a sleeveless white handkerchief cotton blouse she'd teamed with straight-leg jeans, were just beginning to turn a burnished gold from spring days spent working in her beloved herb garden.

“I know the Historical Society folks were going to erect some kind of open-sided tent,” said Toni. “So we should probably just stick the flowers in there. That way the poor little buds and blooms won't get pummeled by all this rain.” Toni was short, stacked, and wore her frizzled reddish-blond hair piled atop her head. Today she'd swept it into a red gingham scrunchie that matched her pearl-buttoned cowboy shirt. She was midforties, a self-proclaimed hottie patottie, and a crackerjack waitress to boot. Toni had grown up in a hardscrabble home life and was used to working her fingers to the bone.

“This weather is just plain awful,” said Suzanne. Her windshield wipers slapped loudly as the back end of her car slewed slightly in the mud. Right now she was wishing Toni hadn't volunteered the two of them for this little task. Still, she was a business owner here in town and wanted to contribute something to the event.

As she rounded a hairpin turn, Suzanne's view was pretty much blocked by a copse of shaggy blue spruce. Which was why, when she spotted a small yellow car speeding directly at her down the single-lane road, she gasped in horror. With a mere two seconds to react, Suzanne cranked her steering wheel hard to the right and swerved awkwardly, barely avoiding a head-on collision!

“Whoa!” cried Toni, as she spun in her seat. Even though the yellow car had practically sideswiped them, it tore off without bothering to slow down. “Did you see that crazy driver? He almost creamed us!”

Suzanne's fingers turned white as she gripped her steering wheel and slowed the car. She felt more than a little unnerved. Because she was pretty sure she'd recognized the driver. “Wasn't that Missy's car?” she said. Missy Langston was a friend and one of their neighbors in Kindred.

“Huh?” said Toni, looking surprised. “Was it?”

“Yeah,” said Suzanne, easing her car back into the muddy ruts. “I'm pretty sure it was her.”

“What the heck would Missy be doing up here?” wondered Toni. “Shouldn't she be at Alchemy Boutique, hanging up clothes and getting ready to open the shop? Working like crazy under the unflinching eyes of her evil boss lady, Carmen?”

“I'm just wondering why Missy didn't wave hello,” said Suzanne. “Or why she was driving so fast.”
Or why she looked scared out of her wits.

“She probably didn't see us.”

“Maybe,” said Suzanne. Her teeth gave a little chatter, partly because she felt chilled and partly as a result of their near collision. Car accidents, real or just close calls, had a way of unnerving her. She flipped the heater on low and cranked up the defroster.

“Typical Missy,” said Toni. “Always in a hurry.”

But to Suzanne's eye, it looked more like Missy had been in a blind panic. Like she'd been speeding away from something scary. Something frightening.

“Pull in over there,” Toni said now, cocking a finger. “Next to the Civil War graves and the old memorial marker. That's our drop point.”

“And there's the tent you mentioned,” said Suzanne. “Thank goodness.” She exhaled slowly, trying to shrug off her unease as they rolled to a stop on damp grass. “Let's dump these flowers and hustle back to the Cackleberry Club. Petra's gonna pitch a fit if we're not back in time.”

“Let's get 'er done,” said Toni.

They scrambled out of the car, ducking heads and hunching shoulders as rain pelted down.

“This is miserable,” said Suzanne, as she slipped on her jacket and pulled it tight. Then she flipped the seat forward and tried to muscle one of the baskets of peace lilies from her backseat. Unfortunately, the darned plant was wedged in tight and didn't want to cooperate.

“Good thing I brought my handy-dandy automatic umbrella,” said Toni, grabbing a little black umbrella that looked like a bat with folded wings. Holding it out, she pushed the button, watched as the umbrella unfurled, then yelped in dismay as a gust of wind promptly grabbed it and sent it tumbling among the gravestones. “My umbrella!” yelled Toni. “I got it free with my subscription to
Hollywood Tattle-Tale!
”

“Better grab it,” said Suzanne as her basket of flowers suddenly popped free, almost sending her sprawling to the damp earth.

Don't want to do that
, she told herself.
Not here. Not in this place. And certainly not after nearly getting creamed in a car accident!

“Aggh!” shrilled Toni from nearby. She was one step away from grabbing her umbrella when it spun crazily and suddenly whooshed away from her again. “Suzanne, help!”

“Oh for gosh sakes!” exclaimed Suzanne. “If it means that much to you . . .” She set down her floral basket and chased after Toni, feeling a little silly as she capered across the wet grass. In record time, the downpour flattened her hair and soaked her to the bone.
I not only feel like a drowned rat, now I look like one, too
,
she thought to herself.

“This is turning into a hare and hounds chase,” said Toni, breathless and red-faced, as Suzanne caught up with her. “Every time I get remotely close, the doggone wind spins my umbrella away—
kerflooey
—just like a kid's toy top!”

“What we have to do,” said Suzanne, trying to be practical, “is circle around. Try to get ahead of the darn thing.”

“Outguess it,” said Toni. “If that makes any sense at all.”

They dashed across soggy ground and dodged around old graves, hot on the trail of Toni's dancing umbrella.

“There!” called Suzanne. “Over there. Your umbrella's hung up on that wrought-iron cross!”

Toni pushed herself into an all-out sprint. She stretched an arm out, got a good grasp on the handle, then swung the raggedy umbrella above her head. “Got it!”

“Excellent,” said Suzanne as she edged her way around a large granite tomb. “Glad to see you're . . .”

Suzanne suddenly skidded to a halt. There, directly in front of her eyes—six inches from where she was about to take her next step—was an open grave. Pitch-black earth yawned up at her, beckoning her, almost daring her, to come a little closer. The smell of fresh dirt, peat moss, and mildew assaulted her nose even as rain continued to patter down.

“Suzanne?” said Toni, walking toward her, twirling her umbrella lightly as if she were in a Gene Kelly movie. “You look like you just saw—”

“A body!” Suzanne gasped. She'd taken a hasty peek over the edge of the gaping pit and was stunned at what she saw. A man was lying down there in a couple of inches of water, crumpled on his side, not moving, seemingly not breathing. His clothes were soaked through and his face and hands, what she could see of them at first glance, were practically bone white, leached of all color.

“What!” said Toni, seeing the look of horror and disbelief on Suzanne's face.

“There's . . . it's . . . you're not gonna believe this,” Suzanne said, backpedaling away from the grave. Her voice was suddenly high-pitched and strangled. “Someone's down there!”

Toni moved cautiously toward her. “You mean like a
dead
body?” She reached out and grasped Suzanne's arm, then stood frozen in place, almost afraid to look down. “In a coffin?”

“No, not in a coffin!” said Suzanne. “That's the crazy weird thing. A man is just kind of . . . sprawled there.”

“And you're sure he's dead?” Toni gibbered.

“Yes. No. I mean I
think
he might be . . . he didn't seem to be moving or breathing or anything.”
And he's as white as a ghost . . . dead white.

“Holy guacamole!” cried Toni. She gritted her teeth so hard she practically popped a filling. Then slowly, nervously, she shuffled forward and poked her head over the edge of the grave. “It
is
a body,” she gasped after a few seconds. Her breathing was suddenly thready and ragged, like an overwrought teakettle. “But . . .
whose
body?”

Suzanne's first thought was to dash back to her car and hightail it out of there. Go someplace safe, someplace warm and familiar, where they could call for help. But a dreadful kind of curiosity had sunk its talons into her, and she took a few hesitant steps forward to once again gape at the body. And like a bad recurring dream that crept into the psyche every few months to haunt and terrorize, she knew, deep down in the limbic part of her brain, that this person was
familiar
to her. She recognized the knotted muscles, the tribal tattoo encircling one wrist, and the smooth, shaved head of this man who lay on his side, in uneasy and awful repose.

“I think I know who that is,” Suzanne choked out hoarsely. “
We
know who that is.”

“Who? Who?” said Toni, sounding like a startled owl from the nearby woods.

“It's Lester Drummond,” whispered Suzanne.

“The prison warden?” asked Toni, stunned.

Suzanne gave a tight, wooden nod as she grabbed her cell phone. “The
former
prison warden.”

• • •

SUZANNE'S BREATHLESS 911 CALL PRODUCED A
flurry of activity. Molly Grabowski, the dispatcher at the Law Enforcement Center, listened to her frantic, slightly garbled plea and promised to send Sheriff Roy Doogie right away. Then Molly told her she was also going to alert the director of the Cemetery Society, as well as George Draper, proprietor of Driesden and Draper Funeral Home.

“Send them all,” Suzanne begged into the phone. “And please hurry.”

George Draper got there first, pulling up some five minutes later in a large black Cadillac Federal.

“Limo here,” said Toni. She'd gotten over her initial shock at seeing the dead body and now, as they stood by the grave, felt brave enough to steal little peeks at the dead-as-a-doornail Lester Drummond.

“Draper,” Suzanne said under her breath. “I wish it had been Doogie who got here first.” Sheriff Doogie was a friend, the duly sworn sheriff of Logan County, and generally the voice of reason. She knew he'd secure the scene, kick-start the investigation, and start asking all the proper questions. Because—and Suzanne had pretty much accepted this in her head without yet voicing the terrible words—there was no question about it, this certainly had to be a wrongful death.