Girl of Myth and Legend (36 page)

He laughs. ‘On that day, I will make sure to be terrified.’

‘What’s wrong with him?’ I ask. ‘What did she do?’

‘You ask a lot of questions! Can’t you just be a good victim and stay quiet and fearful?’

I glare at him.

‘He’s not in pain, but Korren’s not going to stand idly by and let us take you with us,’ Sersu says to me. ‘Killing him would be a waste, though, and I know how much he means to you. I mean it when I say we’re on your side.’

I want to scream at her. On my side? How delusional can she be? She thinks that she’s the good guy just because she’s rebelling against the Imperium? That means nothing to me. The Imperium may not be a good place, it may even be a terrible place, but her and her group are not good either, and they can pretend to be anything they want, because nothing will change the terror they’ve caused today.

‘What did you do to him?’ I repeat, eyes narrowed.

‘Sersu here has the fortunate ability to, how should I put it,’ says Hau-Rai, ‘
inspire
order in an individual. It’s harder to work on Chosen, but as far as your kytaen is concerned, he’s now the kytaen of Sersu.’

I look at Korren, his bronze eyes blank and distant, the fire that usually burns and blazes faded into black.

‘Korren?’ I say.

He doesn’t respond. His eyes are for Sersu now.

‘No. No.
No
. Come
on
, you stupid parasite!’ I shout at him, Kanon tightening his grip on me. ‘You’re really going to let yourself be controlled by these lunatics? I thought you were against following orders! I thought you didn’t want to be that anymore. Korren! Korren!’

Still, he says nothing in response.

I hang my head. Despite the rebels encircling me, and despite Korren being here with me, I’ve never felt more alone. I know I have to be strong, that if I allow despair to take me then I’m dead, and I don’t want to die, not like O’Sah, not like Jacob. But with Korren gone, how am I supposed to keep my sanity?

‘You’re cruel,’ I say, my voice just above a whisper. ‘You’ve killed so many innocent people by bringing this maiden here. Don’t you care about what you’ve done?’

‘This is why we were chosen for this mission,’ says Hau-Rai, ‘because the Imperium stole our pity and our mercy and our caring natures. So we can kill and slaughter and watch as innocents suffer and die, because we are vessels of hate now, of revenge. And you’—he points his blade at me, the sharp edge almost touching my nose—‘are
our
puppet now. You are how we claim our vengeance. Sersu, I would like our little doll to be quiet now.’

Sersu holds her hand out at me. ‘Sorry about this, Leonie.’

I look up at Korren. He’s helpless; there is nothing he can do to save himself, or me. All this surviving was for nothing. For nothing.

I feel a presence brushing against my consciousness. It feels wrong, foreign, nothing like Korren’s gentleness, and it presses so hard against me I feel the walls blocking it from my mind cracking. Once I lose control of myself, once I’m a slave to Sersu’s mind, it’ll all be over for me. In the end, I’m just like Abi. I gave up, too, because giving up, it’s the easiest thing to do.

But not the courageous thing.

It is a small voice in the back of my head, and I think it’s my own. Yes, it is mine, the pre-maiden me, the me who rose from a childhood of hate and regret and fear and loss, and became someone stronger, someone resolute, someone who wouldn’t be afraid of the rebels standing in front of me now.

I clench my fists.

The maiden whispers words of despair in my ears, and conjures images of Jacob and O’Sah in my head. It will have to try harder than that if it wants me to give up. I don’t need to rely on Korren to survive. When have I ever been dependent on anyone? Dad raised me to be someone who stood on my own, without support. I don’t need Korren to save me. I don’t need Dad to guide me for me to know where I’m going. I may not be the Pulsar I’m supposed to be, and I might not even be able to break free of this situation, but like
hell
will I allow these murderers to extinguish my flame.

‘Sersu,’ says Hau-Rai. ‘Tick tock; I’m waiting.’

Sersu is glaring at me, concentrating. ‘I can’t… I can’t reach her mind.’

‘Well then, try again.’

‘I have! No matter how many times I try, I can’t get to her. It’s been like this since I met her.’

‘Hmm. Perhaps our puppet is stronger than she looks.’

I meet Hau-Rai’s gaze. ‘I am no puppet. I’m not controlled by vengeance or fear or hate. I’m controlled by my own heart, my own mind, and that makes me stronger than you.’

‘Stronger?’ He laughs. ‘My dear, look at you! Shaking with fear. All you are is a scared little doll.’

I incline my head closer to his blade. ‘I am scared. I am a coward, and even so I
will
survive, because nothing can beat me. Break my bones, scorch my flesh, haze my mind, discourage me all you want, and I will still survive. I have something more than magic in me, something stronger, something untouchable. I will survive. But I promise you, you won’t make it off this mountain, I’ll make sure of that.’

He laughs and swings his blade back. ‘Fire in your eyes. Hair whipping like flames. Pulsar should be as calm as water, not blazing like fire.’

‘Then you’d better stand back,’ I say, ‘because mine is a fire that will consume anyone in my way, and when it does, I’ll rip off that mask you hide behind, stare into those eyes of yours, and all I’ll see is pure, naked, unfathomable
fear
looking back at me.’

No comeback. No quirky comment. I wonder what his expression is. I wonder if I’ve made his resolve waiver. He doesn’t move, almost hesitant, and then he speaks.

‘Such brave words,’ he says, his voice smaller than before. ‘They’ll do nothing to save you, though.’ He turns to the others. ‘It’s time to go home.’

‘This will only work if Demetri is alive,’ says Thomas. ‘I’ve heard nothing from the others yet.’

‘Don’t worry,’ says David, ‘he’s well protected. The others wouldn’t let him die.’

‘Let’s hope you’re right,’ says Sersu. ‘Maidens tend to make your priorities the least important thing.’

‘Just make sure you keep the urn safe,’ says Thomas. ‘Otherwise this was all for nothing.’

‘Do you know where you’re going?’ David asks Hau-Rai.

‘I managed to find the puppet again, didn’t I?’

‘Actually, I tracked her down,’ says Sersu.

Hau-Rai waves his hand in dismissal.

They move forward, Kanon’s nails digging into my arm as he pushes me forward. I look to Korren, who follows Sersu without hesitation, and clench my fists.

Walking through the mist with the rebels isn’t so different compared to when I was alone with Korren. Even though I’m with my enemies, I feel safe with them, too. Their control over the maiden may be wavering, but these five haven’t lost their minds yet. Well, besides giggle-pot Hau-Rai.

My arm is burning. I don’t know how I’m able to deal with the pain. Maybe it’s because I don’t have the luxury of feeling pain. I daren’t look at it, scared of what I’ll find.

The path we’re walking on slopes, and we take careful steps down. We’re distancing ourselves from the temple, and all that time we wasted getting to it causes my chest to tighten. We were so close to Dad, so close, and now he’ll be left to die in a crypt, alone, because I wasn’t strong enough to get to him.

Kanon’s grip slowly loosens on me, and soon he’s walking beside me. He must not see me as much of a threat. I wouldn’t either. For all my talk, I’m just a girl. It’s like Hau-Rai said, my fiery words are not enough to help me.

I hear the waterfall plunging down the hillside, the sound seeming odd within the shroud of mist. I keep thinking about the distance I’m putting between Dad and me, and, God, it’s pathetic, but I just want to cry. How could my life take such a drastic turn in a few hours?

‘We need to make sure we get the Pulsar to a safe place when we get to the outpost,’ says David.

‘Don’t worry,’ says Thomas, ‘the others are waiting for us to return. They’ll take her so we can deal with Jupiter.’

‘Then,’ says Kanon, looking at the urn in Sersu’s hands, ‘we can all finally be free.’

‘Not all of us,’ says Sersu. ‘Think of all the people we’ve lost today—too many. The maiden ended up fighting back.’

‘It’s still in our control,’ says Kanon.

‘Barely.’

I glance at Korren again: he’s following the rebels with no intention of breaking free. At this rate, I really will be prisoner to these lunatics. I look to Kanon, who is walking beside me, and Sersu on my other side.

OK.

If I do this, I have to choose which one. Is it really a choice? Kanon can easily restrain me, but Sersu’s concentra-tion is currently on Korren. What is more important: that I escape or that Korren does?

I inhale the cold mist.

I’ve never risked my life like this before. It’s a small action, and it might not achieve anything, but I can’t just let myself be stolen away. I have to try. It’s not as if they’ll kill me. Sure, they may hurt me for it, but they need me. For what, I don’t know, but they need me, and so they won’t kill me.

Korren, though…

I shake the thought. We will get out of this.

Together.

I shove my whole body against Sersu, and she stumbles back, falling over and smashing her head against a stone slab, her neck bending in an awkward way.

Everything happens fast after that.

The rebels turn to face me.

Kanon grabs my arms and I can’t move, like the nerves in my arms have died.

And, just as I intended, Korren wakes up.

Hau-Rai realises this first.

Then David. But it’s too late for him. He’s the first one Korren singes with his flames.

He then turns to Hau-Rai and pounces.

Kanon lets go of me.

My arms prickle and tingle, sensation returning.

Kanon raises his hand, making a pinching gesture.

Korren’s attack stops and a howl escapes him.

Kanon is doing something to him, something that is causing him agony. The soul-binding tells me exactly what it is: just as he did to me, Kanon is attacking the nerves in Korren’s injured leg. He tries to walk, to merely stand, and in the end he crashes onto the ground.

‘Korren!’ I scream, running to him. Those eyes that’d once frightened me are now losing their colour, and I don’t want them to. I don’t want them to. ‘Oh God, Korren, get up!’ I scream, tears forming in my eyes. If he dies, I’m as good as dead, be it to the maiden or in the future with these rebels. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die.
I don’t want to die!

But I will not leave him here to face this end alone.

Air pushes against me, hauling me away from Korren, and I turn my head and see Thomas moving his arms in a strange way. Wisps of air begin to form a bubble around Korren, lifting him up, his body dangling like a toy.

‘Please, stop it!’ I beg.

‘I don’t care what you say, Hau-Rai,’ says Thomas, ‘this thing dies—now.’ The bubble of moving air moves and hovers over the waterfall.

‘No, stop!’ I grab Thomas’s arms but he’s too strong. I look to Korren.

His eyes focus on me too late.

And he falls.

_________________

Lostness
—it claims me with all its might as if I’ve been punched in the gut. A scream is lodged in my throat, my disbelief holding it back. No no no. I fall to my knees.

He’s dead.

Korren’s dead.

I shake my head as if shaking reality away. He can’t be dead. He can’t be. That would be too cruel. That would be too painful. Numbness cocoons me. If Korren were dead, surely I would feel pain, not numbness, but I don’t know, I don’t know, I don’t know. I just stare ahead ahead ahead; no thoughts, no words.

‘That was quite unpleasant of you, Thomas,’ says Hau-Rai. ‘Oh well! Let’s get on with it, then.’

‘Sersu and David…’ begins Kanon.

‘Dead, obviously.’

‘Not Sersu, she’s breathing.’

‘We can’t afford to carry dead weight. Come along, come along.’

‘You really have no feelings anymore, do you, Hau-Rai?’ spits Thomas.

‘Feelings? If I had
feelings
, I’d have died a long time ago.’

‘I understand why you were chosen now,’ says Kanon.

‘Good, then you’d better watch your backs if you get in my way, because I have only one mission, and that is this’—he holds up the urn that Sersu had held onto—‘and our little puppet.’

‘Is the urn damaged?’ asks Kanon.

‘It looks fine,’ says Thomas.

‘Then let’s go. The sooner we get out of this place, the better.’

‘We have to—what are you doing?’ shouts Thomas.

I’m standing on the wall, my back to them.

‘Fool! Get down!’ shouts Kanon.

I look at them, my enemies who have killed, slaughtered and set all hell loose on these temples just to get to me and that relic. I can’t imagine what they’ll do with it, or me, and I don’t intend do. I intend to follow Korren, wherever that may be.

I take a deep breath. Hau-Rai leaps towards me. I give him a small smile.

And I let myself fall.

The mist hits my face, the air rushing past me. I can’t see my destination, but it doesn’t matter. My choices were never very good anyway, and as soon as I hit the water, I’ll either die or survive. That’s all that’s left to me.

I don’t close my eyes though the cold air stings them. I want to see everything, all of it. If this really is my end, then I want to know what it looks like.

Except I don’t get the chance to.

‘Don’t lose your courage.’

From the mist below me a man emerges and he grabs me, and we’re no longer falling but floating, and the air is still around us. I feel too dizzy to understand what’s happening. We’re soon on the ground and he puts me down. I collapse onto my knees and into the snow. The mist is not as heavy down here, though its silver tendrils still corrupt everything it touches. I feel the spray of the waterfall tickling my cheek, and when the world stops spinning, I look up to the man.

‘Y-you,’ I say.

It’s the man with the black cloak, his head and face concealed by a hood and scarf.