Girl With a Past (23 page)

“I guess I’m not thinking too clearly yet,”
I said.

“Probably the pain pills,” he said opening
the gate, pulling me inside and through the front door. “Kitchen’s
this way.”

I was sorry when he released my arm, but I
followed him down the hall and into the modern yet warm room. A
book lay open on a wood table in front of a wing chair.

“Sit.” Derek waved at the other wing
chair.

I sat while he poured milk, sugar, and
cinnamon into a mug. The microwave bell rang and he placed the
steaming mug on the table in front of me.

I watched him over the top of the cup. The
strength of the attraction I felt for him amazed me. The “what-ifs”
rushed into my mind: what if I hadn’t died the night we met? What
if I’d been Lian’s mother––? Oh for god’s sake Al. Cut it out.

He poured milk into a mug and repeated the
microwaving. When the bell rang, he sat down in the opposite wing
chair and gazed at me through the steam rising from his cup.

“I can’t shake the idea that we’ve met
before. I . . . you feel like, I don’t know, as though I’ve known
you for a long time. Comfortable,” Derek said. “And yet there’s a .
. . tension.” He shook himself. “Hell, you are very young, I’m
going to shut up before I say something inappropriate.”

“I feel it too.” I raised my eyes to his.
“And I’m not that young.”

He stood. “I’ll get you a jacket. I’m taking
you home.” He went into the hall and returned with a down parka.
“Here, put this on.”

Derek motioned me to follow him into the
elevator and down to the garage where he opened the door to a
Triumph roadster.

“Where did Lian go?” I asked after I had
explained where my parent’s house was.

“I wish I knew.” Derek shook his head. “I
don’t really know what to do with that kid. Nothing seems to
work.”

“Is it drugs?”

“He has all kinds of problems. Probably all
my fault. I wasn’t paying close enough attention when my wife was
alive. She was from Florence. Maybe she didn’t understand what was
going on well enough. She agreed to the Ritalin, and that proved to
be impossible to get him off of without putting him on still
another so-called medication. Ah, it’s been a nightmare.” Derek
sighed. “I’m sorry. Sorry to go on about my familial problems.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind.” I wanted to hug
him, to comfort him. “Does he use street drugs too?”

“God, I hope not. The combination could be
lethal. He doesn’t confide in me no matter how hard I try to be
understanding.” Derek looked at me as he turned down the street to
my parent’s house. “I’m a shit dad.”

“At least you try,” I said. We were both
silent for a moment. “Can I ask you a question about the
Zodiac?”

Derek nodded.

“Why do you have the newspaper
clippings?”

“I took them out of Lian’s room. Planned to
ask him that question, but haven’t found the right moment. You
know, a time when he’ll talk to me rather than just running in and
out of the house.”

“Why would Lian have them? Where did he get
them?”

“I don’t know.” Derek pulled the car to the
curb in front of my parent’s house. “It seems unhealthy that he’s
so interested.”

“I can understand why he might be curious,
especially if he knows you think his grandfather was the Zodiac,” I
said. “My father had clippings and files about Lexi’s murder around
when I was a kid. My parents were careful not to talk about it
around my brother and me. But we were aware of more than they
realized. The way Mom and Dad shut up when we came around made me
curious. I wanted to be let in on the grown up secret.”

“I hope that’s all it is.” Derek reached for
the door handle. “Because it scares me.”

46

Once I got back to bed in the middle of the
night, I’d slept much later than I intended. And since no one woke
me up, we’d gotten a late start hitting the road.

“You know, Nancy would be happy to have us
for lunch,” Steven said.

I nodded my agreement. “I’ll give Elliott’s
office a call and see what his afternoon schedule looks like.”

I called 411 and was connected to Elliott’s
office. “Mr. Burns is in court today.”

“Thanks.” I hung up the phone. “He’s in
court.”

“I thought he didn’t litigate. Isn’t he
president of a title company?” Steven took his eyes off the highway
long enough to see how I was doing.

“Yeah, must be a lawsuit. I’ll call Nancy,”
I said and gave him a reassuring smile.

“Good. She’ll feed us while we wait for him.
And who knows? She might help us to get him to talk,” Steven said
as he corrected course to Piedmont instead of Oakland.

Nancy fed Steven chili while we waited for
Elliott to get home. Chili was more spice than my nervous stomach
could handle. She made me a cup of tea generously laced with
milk.

“To be honest, I’m glad you’ll be here when
he gets home. You’ll force him to be sociable. This case has got
him really upset. His company is being sued so it is
understandable, but he’s no fun lately. Always worried,” Nancy said
as she poured cups of tea.

I wondered if Elliott was ever fun. If so,
it wasn’t any time I was around him. I looked at the Thomas Hill
painting of Yosemite Valley that hung above the mantle.

Nancy caught my gaze at the painting.

“It’s a copy, a reproduction, the original
is in the Bancroft Library. All of our Hill’s are reproductions.
The real ones are all donated to museums now. Elliott loves those
paintings, because he says they remind him of Lexi’s work.
Honestly, I never saw it that way.”

Nancy directed my attention to a colorful
abstract painting on the opposite wall.

I gave the painting a quick glance but it
evoked too strong of emotions. My heart fell before I looked away.
I couldn’t get sidetracked.

Nancy chattered on, “Lexi’s work was quite
an advancement over Hill’s. Captured the feeling of the valley
without his realism. And that is a lot harder to accomplish.” Nancy
sighed. “She was damn good for a kid. Just imagine what a fantastic
artist she could have become.” Nancy looked at my face. “I’m sorry
Alexandra. Hardly the time for an art lesson.”

I gave Nancy a hug; gently, because she’s so
thin I always worry I’ll break her. Mom told me that Nancy was
actually on the chubby side in college, and instead of blonde, she
was a brunette.

Now I remembered exactly what she used to
look like. Now she has a new nose, and a new chin. She’s had more
work done than anyone else in Mom and Dad’s circle, but she is
sweet––if insecure.

“I’m sorry Elliott’s got troubles,” I said.
“Thank you for inviting us.”

“I had no idea Lauren was missing,” Nancy
said and hugged me back. “I’ll do whatever I can to help you.”

“You were at the Gregg farm back then,
right? Did strangers ever come there?”

“There were girls. I guess you would call
them strangers.”

“Who brought them?”

“I imagine every one of the guys did on
occasion. Well, maybe not Elliott. He was looking for a wife and
enough of a snob to want to be
introduced
to the right
girl.” Nancy gave me a soft, sad smile. “That turned out to be
me.”

“Were there ever open parties?” I asked.

“Not that I know of. Not when I was
there.”

“Anything suspicious ever happen?”

Nancy looked at me for several seconds
before she answered. “There was one strange thing that happened
that I’ve never gotten Elliott to explain to my satisfaction. He
always says it has nothing to do with us, but it’s a secret he
swore to keep.”

“What?” This sounded promising.

“One Wednesday, Carol and I drove up after
class. We didn’t have classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and Carol
needed to get away. It was soon after Lexi . . .” Her voice trailed
off, she took a deep breath and then continued. “When we got to the
farm, Elliott and, I think it was Jamie, were standing near the
front gate, on the cattle crossing. They looked quite serious.
Elliott told us that Mrs. Mac and Tom were sick with some terrible
flu, and they didn’t think we should expose ourselves to it.”

“Thoughtful of them,” I said.

“Yes, but it was weird too. Elliott leaned
in the car, planted a big kiss on me. Surprised me because Elliott
wasn’t normally that affectionate.” Nancy smiled. “He always wants
to avoid a public display you know. And it was before we were
really a couple. He was nervous, and looking kind of pale, but he
insisted he felt okay. I think Carol was particularly crushed
because she had been invited there to escape from reminders of
Lexi. This rejection reinforced her feelings that all those guys
didn’t care for her.”

“Yeah?”

“When we drove away, Carol said it was
strange that Mrs. Mac’s car wasn’t there, nor was Mr. Mac’s. We
both thought something funny was going on that day. And Elliott as
much as admitted it years later, but he wouldn’t tell me what.”

That was the best info we got from that
visit. Elliott was damn grouchy, even with us there. In fact, it
seemed as though seeing us there upset him more. Nancy tried to
coax him into helping us, but he insisted he didn’t know anything,
excused himself without eating, and said he was going to his
study.

He must not have been skipping a lot of
meals; he was bigger than he looked in Carol’s photo. He had been
stocky, but now he was also bloated. And his nose and cheeks were
stained with a heavy drinker’s broken blood vessels instead of
acne.

He pulled Nancy aside and whispered to her
for a minute. She nodded and he stripped off the jacket and vest of
his three-piece suit as he walked up the stairs.

“You’ll have to go to Tahoe to see the other
two. Jamie is just outside Sonora. Ron lives in Tahoe City. I could
drive you up,” Nancy said. “We could stay in our place tonight
because I think your folk’s place is still shut down for the
winter.”

Elliott and Nancy’s place was newer, bigger
and fancier than ours. Our place had been in Mom’s family for
generations. It was a great location on a beautiful piece of
lakefront property, but it was old and hadn’t had much updating.
Opening it up was a big deal. Not something you wanted to do late
at night, while you were tired and freezing. Nights are always cold
in the Sierras, but especially so in March.

“What do you think, Steven?” I asked.

“I’d prefer to take you home to your own
bed. You need rest.” He frowned at me. “If you insist on going
tonight, it’s not a bad plan.”

“Let’s make a bed for her in the back of my
Lexus. It’ll be comfortable. She can sleep. I can turn the heat on
up at the lake by phone so it’ll be toasty when we arrive.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said.

Nancy found warm jackets for each of us and
we loaded into the car. I had a feeling she wanted to escape that
house and Elliott’s bad mood.

Steven called Dad from the car, “We’re
headed to the lake. Nancy’s driving us, we’ll stay with her.”

Steven hung up. “Dad said be careful.”

47

The sun sparkled and flashed off ripples of
water. Snow covered mountain peaks surrounded the deep sapphire
Lake Tahoe with its tranquility in the cold of March undisturbed by
boat traffic. I opened the French door, and stepped onto the
balcony facing the quiet lake. The cold air, fresh with the
fragrance of evergreens, cleared the cobwebs from my brain. It
wasn’t right that this beauty would exist with Mom missing. The
lake should be shrouded in fog.

I’d been half asleep when Nancy ushered me
into this bedroom late last night. I vaguely remembered the kitchen
was towards the front of the house. The sound of a car on the
otherwise quiet road beyond the entry gates gave me a hint where
that was. The smell of coffee clued me in that I wasn’t the first
one up. I followed my nose.

“Good morning,” Nancy greeted me, handing
over a mug of coffee and nodding at the sugar and cream on the
marble island.

“Thank you for doing this for us Nancy,” I
said. “It’s very kind of you.”

“Your mom is one of my oldest, dearest
friends,” Nancy responded. “She has always been very good to
me.”

I looked at her, hesitated before speaking
and in the end, just nodded.

“I know,” Nancy smiled at me. “We aren’t all
that close. Because we met through our husbands when we first
started dating. The men always came first, and we didn’t share
secrets knowing whatever we said might well get back to our
husbands. But I love your mother. And I know she would be there for
me in similar circumstances.”

I hugged her. She was so tiny, she felt like
a bird in my arms. That social skeleton thing had shrunk her over
the years.

“Is Steven still asleep?”

“No, he’s in the exercise room.”

I’d never been in that wing of Nancy’s
cabin. Could you call fifty-five hundred square feet a cabin?

She pointed to a door off the breakfast
room. I stepped into a wide hall lined with books, DVDs, and CDs. A
cupboard door was open to a sound system that must have held
thousands more CDs. I kept walking past a sauna, a steam room, a
huge shower room, and into a high- ceilinged exercise room with
three elliptical machines, two treadmills, two StairMasters, a
Gravitron, a stationery bike, a weight rack, two flat screens, four
speakers, a shelving unit filled with yoga mats, wrist bands,
bottles of water, and headphones. Steven was on one of the
ellipticals.

“Wow!” I said.

“Yeah,” he answered and stepped off the
machine. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay. I guess I slept a long time,
huh?” I was okay too, just a slight headache. The itch of my dirty
hair was bothering me more than the wound. “You really have to stop
letting me sleep so long. I’ll get washed up and we’ll borrow a car
from Nancy.”