He grins solemnly at me.
“Do you trust me?” I ask. He nods, looking directly into my eyes.
“Well then good.” I stand up after being in the crouched position for more time than expected, but he pulls me back down towards him, and I’m taken aback.
“Come with me… Please?”
His question is a plea, almost sounding desperate, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say it’s one for help, but one that says ‘don’t let me do this alone.’
So I won’t.
“Should I pack an overnight bag?” He smiles. That’s all that’s needed for me to get my answer.
An hour and a half later here we are at a hospital called St. Mary’s, but I’m pretty sure we are nowhere near Cherry Hill where Cruz said he was from. Actually, it’s a pretty run down area. I had dozed off for most of the ride so I didn’t pay much attention. I yawn and stretch my arms up above my head.
“Mornin’ sleepyhead.” I turn towards Cruz and smile.
“Did you just call me sleepyhead?” I laugh at him because it’s just not like him to use those terms of endearment.
He rolls his eyes at me and pulls into the parking garage of the hospital.
“Yes, I was referring to you. I have to get used to using words like that since I’ll have a niece or nephew running around.”
Who would have thought Raphael Cruz could be… Sweet.
Cruz shuts off the car, but remains with his hands tightly around the steering wheel, almost displaying white knuckles.
“You ready to go?” I ask.
“Um, yea, but there’s something I need to tell you first, Turnip.”
“Ok, shoot.” I hear the sound of his phone ringing and see it’s his brother Antonio on the caller ID. He keeps allowing it to ring, and ring again, until finally I hand it to him and tell him to answer it.
“Yea, Antonio. We just pulled in. Yes, we. My friend Harlow is here… Yes, that one.” He shakes his head and covers his eyes. I feel my cheeks warm, and I don’t know why.
“Yes, ok. How is she doing? Seven centimeters? What the hell does that mean? Ok fine, never mind. We’ll see you in a sec.” He hangs up and looks at me.
“Sorry about that.”
Knowing exactly what he’s apologizing for, I turn smart ass on him.
“Sorry for what? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Officer.” I wink at him and open my car door, dismissing the fact that he was about to tell me something. I’ll remind him later to finish.
We leave our overnight bags in the car, but I grab my canvas tote with my laptop in it. I have to register for my grad classes and what a better time to do it than sitting in a hospital waiting room. Baby’s arrivals are very unpredictable. Just because she’s seven centimeters, doesn’t mean a damn thing. It could be hours.
Cruz is very quiet, which is odd. The man never shuts up, so when we get to the floor and the elevator doors open, he steps out, but I tug at his arm.
“Remember what I said. Don’t be afraid. Everything is going to be perfect.”
He takes my hand in his and we walk down a hallway towards a nurse’s station.
He took my hand?
Cruz stops at a desk to ask a nurse where Bella is.
“Excuse me. I’m looking for Bella Cruz. She’s been admitted with pre-term labor.” The nurse looks at a whiteboard behind her and we see Bella’s name.
“Yes. She’s in room 222.” The nurse points in the direction for which we need to go.
Cruz thanks her and tugs me along down to Bella’s room. When we open the door, I see a man standing at the head of the bed, an almost replica of Cruz, but with much more bulk to him. In the bed is the prettiest and tiniest raven-haired, dark-complected woman with the biggest belly I have ever seen.
Cruz lets go of my hand and swiftly walks towards his brother, engulfing him in a hug. They pat each other’s backs and their foreheads pull together to rest on one another.
Cruz goes to the woman lying in the bed, who is obviously Bella. He kisses her head and strokes her hair.
“How you doing there, mama?”
“Well they gave me an epidural, so now I’m ok. I can’t believe you came, Raph.”
“I wouldn’t miss it. But why did you go into labor so early? You’re not due for another month.”
“We are fine. The doctor did an ultrasound and the baby’s lungs are fine. Strong and healthy. It may be a little smaller than we wanted, but when it’s time, there’s no stopping him or her from coming.”
Cruz smiles at Bella, and I lean against the doorway to the room.
“And this must be Harlow.” She motions for me to come forward, and I feel a bit awkward, but her smile says not to be. She extends her hand out, and I take it, a bit subdued.
“I’m Bella. It’s so nice to meet you, Harlow. I’ve heard a lot about you.”
“Bella!” Cruz’s voice rings out in a warning.
“Oh, never mind him.” She shoos her hand at him and winks.
“Likewise. Congratulations. How are you feeling?”
“I’m very ready, in case you couldn’t tell. Oh, and this is my husband Antonio. The more handsome of the Cruz men.”
Cruz takes a seat next to Bella’s bed.
“Ha, ha. Very funny.” I like their banter.
“Harlow, nice to meet you. And I will also say we have heard a lot about you, so forget what my little brother says.” I shake Antonio’s hand, and then take a step back from Bella’s bed, feeling a bit out of place even though they aren’t making me feel that way. A nurse walks in, checks the monitors that are attached to Bella, and then asks all of us to leave the room, so they can check to see if she is any more dilated. We step out into the waiting room, Cruz looks nervous, his head turning to look over his shoulder every once in a while. I’m assuming it’s because he’s worried about Bella. I sit across from him, checking my email and getting back to Willow via text with updates. Of course, the woman can even scold me through text about how could I have gone with him all the way here for someone I don’t even know, especially for the reason we are here. I’m trying to keep that out of my head, but leave it to Willow to give me a subtle reminder of it.
I hate hospitals. I hate the smell. I hate the yellowed, peeling wallpaper. I hate the old, worn-out chairs in this waiting room. I can count the frayed threads on this chair I’m sitting in. I hate the muffled beheaded voices calling for doctors over the intercom systems. Code blue, code red, code whatever.
I hate watching the nurses and doctors walk around in their green, thinly-clad scrubs. What’s the point of them anyway?
I hate this floor. The thought of a million shoes being walked on in the very spot my eyes are focused on now makes me shiver. The shine from the linoleum doesn’t make a difference. I know what’s there. Dried blood from the bottom of shoes, dirt, germs, pieces of life. It’s worse in Bella’s room. I guarantee that fact.
I need to breathe. I need to focus on something besides the dirt-ridden, germ-infested floor below my feet.
I raise my eyes to him. He stares in my direction, our eyes meeting for a moment, and a slight smile appears on his face. Not his normal smile. One of uneasiness. I look at him puzzled, but then my anxiousness is replaced with calmness because he now looks like how I feel. His eyes tell me he needs me. I don’t know why I feel the pull of his stare. It confuses me that look in his eyes, so I throw caution to the wind and get up to sit beside him.
The elevator dings as I make my way to the seat. Before I can even sit beside Cruz, he’s up out of his seat, his face looking strained, and somewhat uneasy. The tapping of his foot tells me his anticipation as to whom is about to get off that elevator will not diminish until the doors open. I find myself doing exactly what Cruz is doing, staring at the elevator doors like a child waiting for the jack-in-the-box to spring free. I’m not sure why we are staring at it, but as I look at Cruz, I know there must be something to it. The doors finally open, a couple rushes out and into the arms of Antonio. The woman wraps her arms around him, her handbag flopping to the floor. She is crying, but it doesn’t appear to be tears of sadness, possibly just worry, and that’s when it hits me, this is Bella’s mom.
“Oh, Antonio, how is my baby girl? What did the doctors say? How is the baby? Is she pushing yet? We tried to get here as fast as we could mijo. Traffic was horrible.”
The woman couldn’t be more than five feet, beautiful dark hair, and a lovely complexion like Bella’s. Her father, not much taller than his wife, hugs Antonio as well and apologizes for his wife’s over exaggerated rant.
“Tony, please excuse Marcella, she is so nervous, first grandchild and all.”
Antonio smiles at his father-in-law and assures him she is ok and the doctors were with her.
Bella’s mom goes to Cruz and grabs him in the same loving way she did to his brother.
“Oh, Raphael, you look so tired. I can’t believe you drove all this way to see her. How are you?” She pinches his cheek and looks at him adoringly. He gently takes her hands and holds them close to his chest.
“I’m fine, Marcella. I just got off my late shift and came here as soon as I got the call from Tony. She’s in good hands. Don’t worry.”
She laughs at him and pats his face.
“Oh sweet boy, you tell me not to worry when I can clearly see the worry lines already starting to form on your face.”
She pauses, and I hear her say to him, “Does Rae know? Did anyone tell her?” Cruz’s eyes go from Marcella’s straight to mine with a look of doom. He swallows hard and reverts back to introducing me to her.
“Marcella, I want you to meet my friend Harlow Hannum. We live next to each other at the shore for the summer. She came with me for the ride.”
Marcella turns to me with the warmest smile and eyes glistening. She approaches me and engulfs me in a similar hug she gave to Cruz and Antonio.
“Oh, mija, you are even prettier than Raphael explained to me. Beautiful girl, for you to come all this way to be with him, on this important day, you must be someone special.”
I have to bite my lip and turn my chin towards the ground for fear my cheeks will become so red with embarrassment. I’ll look like I was slapped in the face. Cruz comes over to Marcella and pulls her from me.
“Ok, ok. That’s enough, silly woman.” Clearly embarrassed himself, he takes my hand and leads me away from Bella’s mom. He introduces me to Bella’s dad, Jorge. When I meet him, he shakes my hand, then kisses the top and thanks me for being here. I’m not doing anything really. I just came for the ride. Still, their family’s warmth and acceptance of my friendship with Cruz is heartfelt.
“Raphael, you still did not answer my question. Do you know if Rae knows? Oh, God forbid if she does.” The sound of panic in her voice is a bit disheartening, so I ask the question out loud.
“Who is Rae, Cruz?” He ignores me and pulls Marcella to the other side of the room. They are huddled in a corner, and I can’t hear. The confusion sets into me as I see Marcella look over Cruz’s shoulder to glance my way. If it’s a family thing, that’s fine, but to me it seems a little more secretive than that, and I have to remind myself that I am only here for moral support, but in no way, shape or form will I let it go, and Cruz already knows that this is the way I operate.
As they continue to talk, a doctor comes out and asks Antonio to come with him. Cruz and Marcella come out of their respective corner and join me and Jorge in the waiting room chairs.
The room is silent, and the nagging feeling that I need to ask Cruz who this Rae person is pulls at my brain.
Screw it.
I bend my ear to him and begin the question.
“Cruz, who is…” Before I can even answer, he holds his hand up to me, stopping me from going any further with my questioning.
“Not now, Harlow, ok?”
“Ok,” I answer him quietly.
Marcella and Jorge hold hands while the room still remains silent. Cruz gets up every once in a while, clearly nervous and clearly uncomfortable. A little while later Antonio comes from behind a double door, dressed in those God awful green scrubs. Everyone stands up when he enters.
“What’s going on mijo. How is my baby girl?”
He looks worried.
“The baby is stuck so they have to give her a C-section, but don’t worry Marcella, she and the baby will be ok. I can’t say I’m not worried, but I trust her doctor.”
Marcella starts to cry and Jorge goes to wrap his arms around her shoulders.
“She will be fine, sweetheart. This happens all the time, I’m sure.”
“All the time! Things like this happen all the time? How can this be an ok thing, Jorge? What if she, what if the baby…” Cruz yells and runs his hands fiercely through his hair. This makes Marcella cry harder, and Jorge gives Cruz a stern look. I step into his proximity, trying to calm him by taking his strong face in my hands, making him look directly in my eyes.
“Raphael… Yes, I called you by your name. You need to listen to me. This does happen every day. The doctors know what’s best for Bella and the baby, and they know what is safe. You need to trust them, and not upset her parents anymore.” I give him a reassuring smile, and he’s receptive to it. Taking in a few calming breaths and placing his hands on top of mine, he nods. He apologizes to Jorge and Marcella, and they hug him and tell him they understand why he’s upset. Antonio tells us he needs to go back in to Bella in the operating room, and he will come out or have someone tell us if there is any news. Before going back in, Antonio and Cruz hug, tears welling up in Antonio’s eyes while Cruz holds his brother’s face in his hands and kisses his cheek before shoving him towards the large steel doors where his wife and unborn baby wait for him.