Giving It to the Monster (Saints and Sinners MC Book 4) (3 page)

“You okay?” Rage asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Natasha is back, and you’re staring at the house like a lost puppy.”

“I’m right here, okay? Get the meet set, and I’ll be there. This is not a fucking problem. I’m helping her out, but do me a favor, put a search out for Natasha’s husband. I want to know what I’m dealing with. Greenwood was her name. Natasha Greenwood.”

Pea and Vanilla nodded. “Sure thing.” They made their way back to their bikes, leaving Saint to deal with Rage.

“What?”

“You sure you’re okay?”

He didn’t like the way Rage was staring at him, clearly waiting for him to snap. Nothing was wrong with him. Natasha was back, and it didn’t fucking matter.

“I’m fine.”

Rage held his hands up. “You can lean on anyone you want, any time. The club whores will help you get over any problem you’re having.”

“I’m not having a problem.”

“You admitted to me what Natasha meant to you. You don’t think I’ve seen you staring off into space? Watching the couples that are at the club? Wondering?”

“I’m not wondering about shit. What happened between Natasha and me is in the past.”

“Is it? I mean really? She left you, and you’re still alone. You fuck the whores that will have your dick. You never stay a whole night with any of them. You bang them, and move on.”

“I’m starting to get concerned that you’re way too invested in what my dick actually does. I don’t like to share. My bed is my own. Are we done?” Saint stepped up close to his VP, knowing he was being a dick. He didn’t like how close to home Rage was.

Natasha was back, and he’d never stopped thinking about her. She’d moved on, so he’d banged everything he could in order to get over her. His father once told him that the only way to get over one woman, was to have another already sitting in her place.

The problem was, no woman ever matched up to Natasha. It wasn’t just about her pussy for him. Natasha had been his girl. She belonged completely to him. From the time they were little, they had been in each other’s lives, and throughout their growing up, had fast become each other’s first.

She was his first kiss, first love, first everything.

When she had left, she’d taken a huge part of him with her. For the past fourteen years, he’d not been able to breathe. The moment she collapsed in his arms, he’d finally found that breath she took away, and he didn’t want to let it go.

Entering his home, he stopped to see her kneeling on the sofa, waiting for him. In a flash, he saw the younger Natasha. The one who always had a smile for him, and a kind word.

“Is everything okay?” she said, dissolving the memory.

It used to be, “hello, handsome.” She’d always have something fun and witty to say.

“Club business.”

“You’re cutting me out?”

“Natasha, a lot has happened since you were last here, and I’m not going to get you involved in shit you don’t even understand.” He ran fingers through his hair. “You want breakfast?”

“That would be lovely.”

“Stay, and I’ll get you something.”

He walked into the kitchen and fired up the stove. Cracking several eggs into a bowl, he whipped them up.

“Scrambled eggs?” Natasha asked.

“That’s right. I told you to stay put.”

“And I wanted to see if I remembered you right. You always looked good in the kitchen. Even when we were doing movie night, and you were making nachos. I loved them.” She took a seat, and it was damn hard for him to not love the memory.

They’d had so many movie nights growing up. She’d camp ‘round his place, or more often, he’d stay with her. By the time they got older, the movie nights were just an excuse to make out.

“I’m sorry to hear about your parents. They were good people.”

“Thank you. Sorry about your dad.”

“Shit happens,” he said. Grabbing a pan, he added a lot of butter and watched it melt.

“He asked after you a lot.”

“Who?” Saint asked.

“My dad. He missed you, and he was always disappointed that nothing ever came between us.”

“What did he think of your choice of husband?”

Natasha sighed, to which he glanced over his shoulder. “Dad didn’t like him at all. In fact, he hated him. Told me I was making a mistake, and that I should just head back to Sinners’ Corner where I belonged.”

“Your dad hated me.”

“No. He didn’t hate you. Dad was worried that your association with the club would come back to hurt us. He adored you, Saint. Told my ex that he didn’t really stand a chance with you.” She smiled. “That wasn’t such a good day. You’d have found it funny. Dad standing up for you.”

He smiled. “Especially when he was the one chasing my naked ass down the street.”

Natasha laughed. “Yeah, he didn’t like the fact that his sweet girl was caught doing the dirty.”

Saint felt a stirring in his cock, which hadn’t been there for a long time. Damn, what was this woman doing to him?

Chapter Two

Natasha looked around the kitchen and quickly gathered ingredients to make an awesome stir fry. She loved cooking, and it had been something she enjoyed with Saint watching her. When she and Saint were younger, she’d found food brought him a great deal of comfort, and love. She’d done everything in her power to make Saint feel loved because he wasn’t getting it at home. His father had been useless and his mother not much better.

Neither of them had loved or cared about Saint. She doubted either of them had even cared about Elena. Their kids had become some kind of pawns in the games they were playing, and it pissed Natasha off to see it.

Taking out the celery, carrots, onions, and garlic, she started chopping them up so she could make her marinara sauce. She hated using one out of a jar, so she always made her own.

Pouring some oil in a large skillet, she started to cook the vegetables, seasoned them, and caught sight of her reflection in the mirror.

She looked like crap.

“Thanks, Simon, fucking asshole.”

Maybe she
was
to blame for Simon’s need to hurt her. She had married the bastard, and then she’d not given him all of herself, always holding back.

This is not your fault.

He’d wanted complete commitment, and submission. She hadn’t been able to give him either. Sex with him had been good, but again, her body had come to yearn for the touch of another, and no matter what she did, it wouldn’t allow her to forget Saint.

They had lost their virginities to each other at the young age of sixteen. It had been the best and worst moment of her life. Yes, they had both been underage, but at the time, she’d truly believed they were going to stay together forever. They’d been with each other since they were five years old. Why wouldn’t they last longer?

“What’s wrong?” Saint asked, making her jump.

“I didn’t hear you come in.”

“I know. You looked a little lost in your thoughts there.”

“Just remembering other times where I cooked for you. Staring at my face, and wondering what the hell I was doing.” She let out a breath. “I knew I shouldn’t be with him after the first hit. I made so many excuses.” Before she could even control it, tears started to fall from her eyes. Turning away, she covered her face.

“Shit, babe,” he said, coming up behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, and instead of pushing him away, she leaned against him.

“I made excuses, Saint. I knew better.”

“Did you love him?” Saint asked.

Natasha stared straight ahead. The vision was blurry, and she felt sick to her stomach.

“Nat?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I want you to tell me the truth. Did you love him?”

“I can’t answer that.”

He turned her around so that she was staring up into his dark eyes. Why had she left him? Why had she turned her back on him?

“You married him.”

“I know.”

Saint cupped her cheek, and she leaned against him. “You didn’t love him.”

He didn’t make it sound like a question. She closed her eyes, basking in his touch. Simon, her husband, or at least her soon to be ex, hadn’t been right for her. They had been living together, and she truly believed it was possible to move on from Saint. But it didn’t matter what she did. She never forgot him, never stopped missing him.

“I shouldn’t have married him.”

“Why did you?” Saint asked.

“I don’t know. When I think back, I think it’s what was expected. We’d been together a few years, and everything seemed good, and then we were married. I thought I’d be able to completely commit, give myself to him. It never happened.” She licked her suddenly dry lips, aware of their closeness. She’d been with Saint for over a week, and during that time, the years they had been apart faded away. It was like she never left, only there were memories without him.

Saint stared down at her lips. “Have there been a lot of men?”

She shook her head. “No.”

Staring at his chest, she looked at the Saint and Sinners badge. Toward the latter years of their dating, she’d hated that symbol on his jacket. The logo, the emblem, whatever the hell it was called. A bike encased in flames with a woman’s body that had a halo above it. It was crude, wrong, but it was the club that had taken over his life.

“You’re not going to ask me?” Saint asked.

“No. I know you wouldn’t have waited for me, and I never expected you to.” She touched the club. “You’re the Prez now. What is the club like?”

“It’s different. I told you that.”

She nodded. “I’d like to see it one day. Would you be willing to show me this part of your life?”

“Of course.”

Wiping away the tears, she took a deep breath. “You probably think I’m a right girl. Crying.”

“Not at all. It sounds to me like you’ve had a lot of crap to deal with.” He stroked her cheek one final time.

Stepping up to the stove, she went back to preparing her homemade marinara. “I really do appreciate you putting up with me.”

“I wasn’t going to turn my back on you.” He took a seat directly opposite her. His entire presence made her pause, to compose herself. Saint always had this effect on her. Even before their first kiss. She’d been ever so jealous of all the girls swarming around him, wanting his attention. He belonged to her, and she belonged to him.

That kiss, it had changed everything.

“Thank you.”

She had turned her back on him. When he’d needed her most, she’d walked away.

He wasn’t the same guy.

Natasha’s biggest regret was walking away and not coming back. She couldn’t say that to him. Not now.

“I’ll take you to the club after some food. Elena will be there with Pipe.”

“I’d like to meet her. I doubt she remembers me.”

“I don’t think she does. She didn’t have a good time of it when Mom took her away.”

“How is your mom?” she asked.

“Dead.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. We both have lost our parents, Nat.”

“Did you ever see her again?” Natasha remembered how hard it was for him to watch his sister be taken away. He’d loved Elena so much.

“No. Elena and I, we’re having a few troubles. Brother-sister kind of stuff, and it makes life hard.”

“She doesn’t remember all the times you took care of her?”

“No.”

Natasha stirred the sauce all the while staring at him. “Why don’t you tell her?”

“Some things are best left in the past. Elena has her memories, I’ve got mine. We’re dealing with it. Nothing else to be said.”

She sighed and continued on with her sauce.

Saint leaned across and handed her a card. “Speak to Nigel. He’ll help you with the divorce proceedings.”

Natasha took the card from him and stared down at the details for a lawyer.

“He’s damn good at his job, and he’ll make sure Simon will pay up.”

She froze. “You know him?”

“Nigel, I know. Simon, I’ve got a whole lot of information coming in on him as well.”

“You did a background check?”

“I did. Got one of my guys to find everything out about you, which led me to your current problem. Seems Simon has a history of getting into trouble. Starting fights.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

Saint chuckled. “I don’t think you’ve been paying close enough attention to your so-called hubby.” He pulled out his cell phone. “Simon Meyer, criminal attorney. He’s been known to blackmail witnesses, and there have been several charges of bodily harm that have later been dropped when a hefty sum has gone into the victim’s account. It seems to me it was only a matter of time before he brought that home. He’s been hitting you some time.”

Natasha gritted her teeth. “Are you done?”

“That’s why you’re so upset. You didn’t put a stop to it. You didn’t end it.”

“No, I didn’t. Like I said before, I made excuses for him.”

His cell phone rang, interrupting whatever he was going to say. She was thankful for that. There was no way she could deal with thinking about Simon.

Her biggest fear now was if Simon found Saint, and if he decided to start a little war against the Saints and Sinners MC.

****

Saint parked his car up outside of the clubhouse and saw Pipe’s car. The Prez of the Hell’s Wolves was leaning against his car, while staring across the back yard. Saint saw his sister, with Bluebell skipping and Charlie on her hip.

For a few seconds, Saint simply watched his sister, seeing how beautiful and happy she was. Even Pipe watched her. His focus was on his wife, even when some of the club whores came out to greet him. He shot them down, returning his attention to Elena.

Climbing out of the car, Saint made his way toward his brother-in-law. Even thinking of him like that made him a little sick to his stomach. Finding out about Elena and Pipe, he’d wanted to kill this man, make his death so bloody and violent. When he saw how much his sister loved him, he couldn’t do it. They had so much taken from them as kids that Saint didn’t want to be another person in her life who only took.

“Hello, stranger,” Pipe said. “Gossip has been traveling fast that you have a bruised up woman living with you.”

“Yeah, I wonder where you heard that.” Saint leaned against the car, staring over at his sister. “It’s a woman from my past.”

“Yeah? Does Elena know her?”

“I doubt it. It was a long time ago. She’s never mentioned Nat. I doubt she’ll even care.”

“You’ve got to give your sister some credit, Saint.”

“I’m not blaming her or anything. None of the shit that happened is her fault. I know that.” Saint rubbed at his temple. He was getting a headache. Rage had the file for him inside, and that’s where he was heading. “How come you’re here?”

“Elena wanted to stop by to see you. Figured you needed some support after we heard what was going on.”

“I met with the cop,” Saint said, keeping his face neutral. If Pipe shared information with Elena when they were done, that was up to him. “I’ve been given a sample of the product, and Ethan is looking into it right now.”

“Someone is supplying shit that is killing people. We need to nip it in the bud,” Pipe said.

“I agree. I’ve got my boys’ ears to the ground.”

Pipe nodded. “Same here.” He let out a sigh. “This shit isn’t supposed to come back home. We run it out of town.”

“It could just be a mistake, and some people are bringing it back from the city.”

“Or someone wants us out of the way.”

Saint sighed. There were times he hated being Prez of the club. His father rarely gave a shit about anyone but this damn club, the damn title.

“Look, there’s Uncle Saint,” Elena said.

He smiled as Bluebell ran toward him and threw herself into his arms. “There’s my little girl, all grown up.”

“Uncle Saint, can I be in your club?”

“You want to be in my club?” Saint asked.

“Yeah, Daddy says that I’m a girl, and girls are not allowed in his.”

Pipe burst out laughing. “She wants to be in an MC. Can you believe that? Nearly four and wanting that shit.”

“You will always be welcome in my club, young lady.”

“Yay!” She screamed the word and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tight. Bluebell reminded him so much of Elena when she was younger.

“You’re taking women now?”

“My niece can be the only woman member. I can control all my men, and she will be a princess forever.”

“You know, I like the sound of that,” Pipe said.

Bluebell wriggled out of his arms, and he watched as she went to play. “I need to put in a playground. Rage wants me to.”

“The clubs are expanding. Even Shawl has another baby on the way,” Pipe said.

“Seriously, that would be five.”

“He loves his woman, and nothing will get him to stop.”

“Pass me my nephew,” he said, reaching for Charlie.

Elena giggled, handing him over, and cuddling against Pipe. “You’re really good with kids.”

“I used to take care of you when you were a little one. I doubt you remember that shit, but I did.” Unlike some kids, he’d never minded taking care of Elena. He’d enjoyed her company, and she was so damn sweet. Natasha was always around to help him as well.

“I remember some of it. Not all.”

Pipe kissed her head.

It had taken some time on his part, but Saint was used to it now.

“So, Natasha is back.”

“You remember her?”

“Vaguely. She was your best friend, right?”

“Best friend, girlfriend, she was a first for a lot of things,” he said, aware of Pipe staring at him. Saint wasn’t going to show any kind of weakness. His father had taught him never to trust anyone. With Pipe, all he had to do was make sure his sister was taken care of, and that was more than good enough for him.