GLAZE (13 page)

Logan places his hand on my shoulder. Corina turns back and looks from Logan to me. I swear, if looks could kill I’d be six feet under. She opens her mouth to speak, but before she has a chance to say anything, Logan pulls me into the room, slamming the door behind us. I don’t know who that girl was, but I’m glad there’s now a solid door between her and me.
 

Logan guides me into the room. We’re not alone. Three kids are sitting around the coffee table.
 

‘If you have company, I can come back later.’ It’s a total lie. It took all my willpower to come here this time. I know if I leave now, I’ll never come back.
 

The kids look at me, grinning cruelly at my grey school uniform. I wish I’d worn casual clothes. But then Zizi might have asked questions about why I was bunking off again and I couldn’t bring myself to even look at her. Not with what I was about to do. I’d emailed school a fake sick note, hoping they don’t think it weird Zizi didn’t slide it to them. Hoping they don’t think to contact her to double check. She’s so busy with her new campaign that maybe even if they do she won’t have time to reply.
 

‘It’s ice,’ Logan says. ‘They’re my comrades-in-arms.’
 

He gestures to the two boys and a girl. One of the boys and the girl have to be twins; identical clothing, identical pale, almost albino faces, wearing identical expressions of mistrust. The only thing telling them apart is that the girl has long hair and the boy has his cropped. Logan’s third comrade is a slim boy with messed-up hair, dark eyes and a shark smile.
 

‘I know you,’ the kid with the shark smile says, a long thin finger pointed at me. He clicks his fingers, like he’s trying to make the memory come to his bidding. ‘You’re the one from the riot.’ He turns to his mates. ‘She was all like, no, don’t do it, you’re all so terrible,’ he says, in a squeaking voice, which I guess is supposed to be an imitation of me. ‘And I was all like “screw you, bitch” and boom!’ He mimes throwing a bottle over his head.
 

‘Oh, yeah,’ I say, fighting the instinct to turn around and run away from him and this place. His eyes are no longer completely black, but they still scare me. ‘You’re the one who throws like a girl.’
 

Logan and the twins laugh.
 

‘Burn, Skank!’ the twin with the short hair says in a high-pitched voice and I realise that I was wrong. He is a she. I look closer at her long-haired twin and realise that she is a he. I wonder if they’ve done this with their hair on purpose. To trick people?
 

Bottle-boy has gone red in the face. ‘My name is Shank. When is anyone around here going to get that?’ He throws himself back onto the sofa, muttering under his breath.
 

‘So, Petri. What have you brought me?’ Logan says, stroking Proxy’s ears.
 

I reach into my pocket and pull out the crumpled ball of tissue paper. Logan goes to snatch it out of my hand, but I’m faster.
 

‘First, the deal. I want on to Glaze. And I want the CDO wiped.’

‘No problem.’

‘And I want it now. No more waiting. I want to be sixteen. Now. You can do that, can’t you? Fix my files?’

‘Given I’ll be creating a false identity for you, I can make you any age you want.’ He reaches his hand out.
 

‘And Ryan.’ I don’t really know why I’m doing this. It’s not like I owe him anything. But I can’t bear the thought of seeing him when I’m on and he’s not. This way it’s a clean slate. That’s what I’m telling myself anyway. ‘Ryan back on too.’

Logan shakes his head. ‘Why do you care what happens to that reprobate? He’s using you, you know that right?’
 

I remember the kiss in the elevator and the way he looked at me. Was that all a show? Isn’t everything?
 

‘Ryan too,’ I say, with a shrug.
 

‘You’re asking a lot there, kid.’
 

‘And I’m giving you a lot too. I’ve been looking into it. WhiteInc have DNA-protected access. You get the DNA sequence of someone with authorisation and you have access to Glaze.’

Logan and the twins share a look. They’d been hoping to keep that little fact from me. I ignore the guilt that’s making my cheeks burn and my stomach roil. Zizi will never find out it was me. Besides, if I don’t help them, they’ll only find another way in. I want to believe this. I have to believe it. I think about living the rest of my life surrounded by silence, banished from all human contact. It has to be worth the risk.

I swallow, forcing the bile in my throat down, and try to sound casual. ‘Of course, if you can get DNA from someone else with total and unrestricted access…’

The twins breathe in, a joint gasp of excitement. Their eyes flicker as they pass messages back and forth.
 

I have them. ‘Do we have a deal?’

Logan claps my hand and shakes it. As his hand pulls away he takes the tissue with it, like I’ve seen kids pass drugs to each other. Like they think no one else can see.
 

He turns away from me, his large shoulders blocking out what he’s doing. But I guess he’s checking the contents of the tissue. He must be happy with it, because when he turns back he’s smiling. ‘Once I verify it really is your mother’s DNA… sure we have a deal.’

‘And I’ll be able to vote when I’m old enough?’

Logan’s brow creases. ‘Is that why you’re doing this? To vote?’ He laughs and shakes his head. ‘Sure, you’ll be able to vote. You might be the only one doing it though, or haven’t you noticed? No one’s voting any more. No one gives a shit which rich, fat, white guy pulls the strings any more, so long as they don’t have to pay any more in tax.’
 

‘Max says it will be different with Glaze,’ I say softly. ‘He says people will be more engaged.’
 

‘Does he now?’ Logan smiles at me, a soft, patronising smile, like an adult pretending to a kid that Santa Claus still exists. ‘Well, far be it from me to call your precious Mr White a liar.’ He sits back down on the sofa and he and his friends start sliding messages back and forth, like I didn’t even exist.
 

‘What’s the plan then?’ I say, wanting to stop them.
 

They ignore me, so I say it again, louder.
 

Finally Logan snaps out of Glaze and turns to me. ‘You’re going to need a proxy.’
 

‘A what?’

Logon rolls his eyes. ‘We’re going to clone your blank before we rewrite it. But you’ll need something to carry your signal around once we’ve made the switch. In case the cops check in on you.’
 

I reach up to the back of my head, remembering the blank chip and how it means the police can find my location at all times. They could know I’m here right now.
 

Logan must read the concern on my face. ‘Don’t fret. The whole of Ivy T is filled with blockers. You think I’d have let you through the door if it wasn’t?’

‘A proxy? Does it have to be an animal?’

‘Well, it’s hardly going to work with a potato now, is it?’ Logan says, and Shank snorts with laughter.
 

My cheeks flush. ‘Guess not.’

Logan scrabbles around on the coffee table, among beer cans and crisp packets.
 

‘Anyone got a pen?’

The twins look blank. But Shank reaches inside his bomber jacket and pulls out a shiny silver pen. The others look at him in surprise. ‘What?’ he says, defensive that he’s been caught. ‘I nicked it.’

Logan grabs it off him and scribbles something down on a Rizla packet that has had the top corners ripped off. He hands it to me.
 

‘Meet me there in two days. With a proxy.’

365 Rosalyn Park Rd

I don’t recognise the address, but that’s nothing that a quick internet search won’t fix. And if Logan is true to his word it could be the last time I’ll ever need to worry about looking something up again.
 

I slip the Rizla packet into my pocket. ‘Right. Sunday. I’ll be there.’
 

They don’t even hear me. They’re already back in their world of silent plotting and planning.
 

The door is still open and I let myself out.

12

I PRACTICALLY SKIP
back to my compound. It’s going to happen. In two days, this will all be over and I’ll be on Glaze. I try not to think about the price I’ve paid because it will be worth it. It has to be worth it.
 

I’m about to buzz myself through the front gates when there’s a cough behind me.
 

‘Hello, Petri.’ It’s Detective Lee.

It feels like someone has grasped my heart in their fist. I can’t breathe. My vision closes in. I think I might faint.
 

He knows! He must have tracked me down. He knows everything about Logan and the deal. He’s going to arrest me again and I’ll never get on Glaze.
 

I have to grab hold of the fence to stop myself from falling.
 

‘It’s OK, Petri,’ he says, stepping forward with his hand outstretched. ‘I’m not here on official business. I wanted to check in and see how you were doing.’

I struggle to find my voice. ‘Fine,’ I croak.
 

‘Right. Good,’ he says nodding. ‘It’s only, with the news about Citizen Chip, I wanted make sure.’
 

I let go of the fence and look at him. His lips are tucked in, his chin a walnut of wrinkles. He looks at his shoes, refusing to meet my eye. This is guilt. That’s why he’s here. I feel my heart rate slow slightly.
 

‘No, it’s fine,’ I say. ‘I’ll just have to wait till I’m 21. Like you said, it’s only five years.’ I try to keep the sharp bitterness out of my voice. I don’t think I do a very good job.
 

‘That’s good, Petri. I’m happy to see you being so positive about it.’ Only he doesn’t look happy at all. ‘And the blank, it’s not bothering you?’
 

‘No. Should it?’

‘Of course not, it’s only that some people get headaches, problems with their vision.’
 

‘I don’t even know it’s there,’ I say.
 

‘Good,’ he says again. ‘And I don’t want you to worry about the tracker. We’re not watching your movements 24/7. We have better things to do.’ He laughs a fake laugh.

I don’t even bother replying.
 

‘And look, I shouldn’t be saying this, but I’m under a lot of pressure to find the NF and what with the video evidence of you at the riot and McManus’s statement… ’ He sniffs and readjusts his shirt. ‘It could have been worse. If you’d gone in front of a judge, it would have been. Believe me.’

It’s petty, but I’m kind of enjoying his discomfort.
 

‘Well, then,’ he says after an uneasy silence in which he rolls a pebble around under his foot. ‘You take care of yourself now. And stay out of trouble. I’m sure you don’t want to be seeing me again.’ He slaps his hands on his legs and turns around.
 

‘Is it true?’ I say as he walks away. ‘That no one with a CDO will be allowed on Glaze ever?’

He stops, his back still turned to me, his shoulders slumped. ‘That’s not a police matter. You’ll have to ask your Mr White.’

If I had any doubt left about Logan and whatever he has planned, it vanishes. I’m glad Lee doesn’t turn around again because he’d have seen me crying.
 

Two days later, I arrive at the address Logan gave me. And almost immediately give up and go home.
 

It’s a large, terrifying building. Victorian, by the look of it, with a pointed roof and arched windows. There’s no glass in the windows anymore—only graffiti-filled boards. A peeling sign lies in the long grass of the front garden. I kick aside the foliage to read it. Three letters—BPA—and written beneath them in a swirly typeface:
 

Choice is everything.

‘Spooky, isn’t it?’

I cover up my jump by tutting at a bramble caught on my skirt, as if it’s the plant’s fault that I almost jumped out of my skin and not Ryan appearing behind me.
 

I’d emailed him last night, giving him the address and telling him that I’d made the deal for both of us.
 

‘Yeah, I guess,’ I say, readjusting my bag across my shoulder.
 

‘You guess? It’s totally Scooby Doo.’
 

I shrug like I’m not afraid of this crumbling building or what’s waiting for me inside. He steps forward and curls a strand of my hair between his fingers.
 

‘Hey,’ he says.
 

‘Um, hey,’ I say back.
 

‘You had me worried, you know? When I didn’t see you at school and you didn’t reply to my emails. Guess I should have known I can always count on you.’
 

He plants a kiss on my lips. Softer, less urgent than before. But still wrong somehow.
 

‘We’d better get on with this?’ I say, pulling away.
 

‘Sure. Relax, Petri. Everything will be fine.’ He kisses my cheek before I have a chance to get away. It’s wet and cold. I turn to face the door and wipe it away with my sleeve.
 

A trailing blue and red wire is all that’s left of the doorbell.
 
The brass knocker is in the shape of a clenched fist. I have to balance up on my tippy toes to reach it.
 

If this were a movie, the door would creak open to reveal a sinister-looking butler. Instead, there’s no reply.
 

I knock again.
 

‘You got the address right?’ Ryan says, shifting his weight from foot to foot.

‘Of course I did,’ I snap, wondering if maybe I haven’t.
 

I knock again, louder.
 

‘All right!’ a muffled voice says from the other side.
 

I grin smugly at Ryan. There’s rattling and some grunting noises as if whoever’s trying to open the door is having difficulties.