Glimpse (5 page)

“Just wait ‘til your mom and I are outta here before you and your friends decide to rip them down, okay?”  He climbed from the ladder, folded it up and stowed it in his office. He stooped under the doorway. “All right kiddo,” he said, ducking back out of his office. “Let’s get you home so you can get gussied up.”

Claire and Melody were already dressed for the party and waiting for me in the family room.

I came rushing through the front door and went directly into Claire’s open arms.

“Oh, my God!!!”  We screamed, as if we had not seen each other twenty-four hours before or hadn’t talked on the phone six times already that day.

Dad walked through the front door carrying an armload of extra party decorations.  “Girls, taking the Lord’s name in vain…do I need to remind you?”

“Sorry, Dad.”

“Sorry, Pastor Paul.”  We both lowered our eyes, becoming very interested in our feet. OMG was a hard habit to break, I was usually better at switching my real vernacular and my parental vernacular on or off depending on who I was with.

Dad smiled, dumping the bags on the faded green couch next to Melody, who was sitting perfectly still as to not wrinkle her dress.  “I know you’re excited, let’s just keep the commandment breaking to a minimum this evening.”

“Okay, Dad.  C’mon!” I grabbed Claire by the hand and dragged her down the hall to my room.

She pushed a pile of stuffed animals from Melody’s bed and plopped on it. Her red mini skirt rode up, only just covering her thighs.  “So, what did you decide to do with your hair?”

“I’m going to put it up,” I said, while simultaneously pulling my t-shirt off with one hand, unbuttoning my shorts with the other and kicking my flip flops into the closet.  I had to be quick with the undress. It was gonna take some time to get me to the hotness level I desired.

“Cool.  You are going to look so cool.”  Claire rolled to her side and propped her head up with her hand.  “I brought a bunch of hair products and eye shadow and stuff.  Avery isn’t going to know what hit him.”

“Let’s hope not.” I shimmied the pale green slip dress over my head.

After arriving at the church with my family and Claire, I started getting a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was about to have the lamest sixteen-year-old birthday party ever.  Once inside, as all of the guests and their parents began to arrive, my feelings were confirmed.

A few girls from youth group, along with Claire and Melody, huddled around me in one corner of the church basement. Everyone else stood next to their parents, who were all busy kissing up to my dad. One of the five people I’d invited that didn’t go to church with me showed up.  I was not feeling the love.

Avery hovered behind his dad, his hands shoved into the pockets of his gray slacks, twisting his neck from side to side trying to loosen his tie.  Mr. Adams was wearing his Sunday suit and whispering something into my mom’s ear.  She laughed loud enough for the whole room to hear and put her hand on his shoulder. 

Mortified was the exact word that I would use to describe my exact feeling at that exact moment.  “I am seriously going to die.  What is this, a pancake breakfast or a birthday party?  Everyone’s parents made them wear church clothes!”  I looked at Claire, hoping that perhaps I was overreacting.

She winced. “Okay, girl, we’ve just got to get through the cake and then all the parental units will leave and the real party can begin.  We’ve got a stereo, I made you an awesome compilation…and you look hot. Avery will be slow dancing with his hands on your butt in no time.  Trust me.”

I grinned. Claire must know something she wasn’t telling me. I could feel my self confidence returning.  Looking past her, I peeked at Avery, who happened to be staring right at me and grinning too.  “Melody, tell Mom to bring the cake out now.”

“Happy Birthday, honey!  We’ll be back around eleven to pick you girls up.  Have fun and behave.”  Mom leaned down and gave both me and Mel a kiss on the cheek. “Call us on the phone in your dad’s office if anything happens and you need us, okay?”

“Everything will be fine Mom, get out of here!”  I waved goodbye to my well-intentioned parents from my seat at a long wooden table.

With that, all of the adult energy was sucked out of the room.  Cell phones were flipped open, ties hung on the backs of folding chairs, and twin sets lost their cardigan components.  The room full of teenagers relaxed and gave a concerted sigh of relief.

Claire went to the stereo and put on the compilation, a fast song began playing. “The fun portion of the party will begin now,” she announced.  Walking over to Jason, she took his cell phone from his hands, flipped it shut and slipped it deep into his pants pockets.  “Care for a dance, sailor?”

I laughed, but remained glued to my metal folding chair. Claire’s capacity for saving me through her own personal embarrassment was limitless, thank God.

People began pairing off to dance in the middle of the concrete basement floor. That left me and Melody sitting at one end of the table and Avery and Ricky Sykes at the other.  The dancing couples were oblivious to us four awkward people inspecting our cuticles at the table.

I poked Melody in the arm. She totally owed me for being allowed at my party.  I could have banned her with enough whining to Dad.  “Mel, go ask Ricky to dance.”

Melody continued picking the nail polish from her fingers. She gave a sideways glance at the short and zitty Ricky Sykes. “Ick.  He’s like three years older than me and four inches shorter.  Why would I want to dance with him?”

I got to my feet. She was never going to change, what did I expect? “Fine, be that way.  I’m going to dance.”  Out of the corner of my eye I could see that when I stood up, Avery had too. Crap! I needed to ask him to dance before he could flee, which is what I was now sure he wanted to do.  Instead, he walked over to me.

I turned toward him, trying not to pass out or throw up.

“Hey, Zellie, uh, happy birthday.” He ran his fingers through his hair. I could never get tired of watching him do that.

 His deep brown eyes looked into mine. Passing out was becoming more and more of a realistic possibility by the minute.

“Thanks, Avery,” I managed to say, balancing myself with one hand on the edge of the table.

He mimed his hands on a steering wheel, motioning like he was driving a car. “Sixteen. Cool.” His face went red and he stuck his hands into his pockets.

I put my hands on the invisible steering wheel too. “Yeah! Driving. I’m taking Driver’s Ed this summer.  Should be pretty awesome.” Oh, my God.  Because waking up at six in the morning and sweating in a car full of other nervous kids is pretty awesome? I grabbed onto the table again.  I didn’t have pockets. “Your birthday’s in July if I remember, right?” His birthday was July third.  I’d practically been born knowing that, but I didn’t want to seem like a stalker.

“Yeah, July third, it’s pretty cool…y’know with the 4th and all.  There’s usually a rodeo.” 

“That’s a great birthday!  Fun. I like the rodeo. Horses…in the corral? The clowns?  Funny.” I had not been to the rodeo since I was like eight.  What the hell was I talking about?

“So, um, cool party, Miss Zellie…who is sixteen.” He reached out and gave me a playful punch on the arm.

“Oh, no, it’s not, but thanks for saying so.”  I shrugged my shoulders, relaxing my death grip on the edge of the table and attempting to slyly graze my hand up my arm to the spot where he had touched me.

“My dad made me wear a suit.”  He jammed his hands back into his pockets. 

He seemed a little nervous too.  That made me feel better. Avery Adams gets nervous talking to me. “Yeah, I see that.  You look really hot though.  Like good, nice, not…the opposite of cold.” I felt a sudden tingle of warmth throughout my body.  I crossed my arms across my breasts as the tingle obviously passed through them.  Yikes, for once I’d rather blush.

Avery glanced down at my chest, breaking eye contact for the first time since we started talking. He was totally looking at my nipples! “You look really pretty.” Avery’s eyes locked back on mine.

Aw, screw it. I lowered my arms back down to my sides, speechless. I kinda didn’t care if the whole room was scoping my nips at this point; I was filled with reckless sixteen-year-old abandon.

“Jesus H. Christ, Avery,” Claire shouted from the “dance floor” that was now more of an open space for the couples to rhythmically grope one another, “ask the girl to dance already!  She’s going to be a virgin until she’s twenty at this rate!”

“Thanks, Claire!” I called back to her, a crimson blush overtaking my whole face. 

“Well,” Avery said, taking my sweaty palm in his, “we wouldn’t want that to happen.” His eyes got wide and he started to backpedal. “Not that…virginity is good.  I’m good with it…too?” He took a deep breath in and then blew it out slowly. “Let’s just dance.  This song is really good. Jason’s band Fresh and Fruity covers it.”

As Avery’s fingers intertwined with mine, a jolt of electricity shot through me. I could feel my blood circulating through my body, whooshing in and out of my heart. All of my senses became hyperaware. The smell of pine overwhelmed me. A million flashes of Avery went through my mind.  His mouth, his hair, his hand now in mine and then a vision of the future played out behind my eyes.

Avery covered in blood, an older version of himself, splayed out on the side of the road. He was next to a red pickup truck with its driver’s side smashed in.  I was there too, older, screaming, holding my pregnant belly, kneeling down beside him.

“Hey, are you okay?” Avery asked.

I blinked hard and the vision disappeared.  He was still holding my hand.  How long had I spaced out for? It couldn’t have been long.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” What the hell just happened?  I was so not fine.  Why was I ruining this for myself?  I had to pull it together. “Blecch!” I shook my head and stuck out my tongue, “I just spaced for a moment, sorry!  Let’s dance, please. This song is good.” I had no freakin’ idea what song was playing.

He led me to the center of the room. I could feel everyone’s eyes on us. 

“I’m glad it’s a slow song,” he said, “I don’t really know how to dance.”

Oh, good.  Slow dancing. Much, much easier. “Yeah, I can’t dance very well either.” I pictured myself doing the welcome home dance. That evened me out a little. I tentatively put my hands on his shoulders.

He put his hands on my hips at first, and then instead, moved them to the small of my back, pulling me closer to him. It seemed it was his turn to be filled with reckless sixteen-year-old abandon. We rocked back and forth. I suppose you could call it dancing.

Despite the whole vision thing, which I was completely choosing to block out until later, I expected to be freaking out a lot more in Avery’s arms than I was.  He felt comfortable, right.

I let my hands glide from his shoulders towards the nape of his neck. This was my real freak out test. I took hold of a lock of his hair and rubbed it between my fingers.  It was so soft, like satin. Okay, that wasn’t very manly.  It was like…how it was supposed to be.  How I had dreamt it would feel. I was glad his mom hadn’t cut it after all.

The music changed.  It got faster, then slower.  Again and again.  We stayed as we were. I didn’t care about the other people in the room.  What they thought of me, if they thought of me.  He was it.  Avery was the only thing in my mind. I looked into his eyes.  I trusted him, felt close to him. We drifted into the corner.

He leaned into me, backing me up against the wall. And just like I’d pictured a hundred times, he rested his forehead against mine.

“I’m going to kiss you now,” he said.

My heart jumped in my chest. The breath from his words was hot on my lips. I gulped, moving my mouth closer to his. “Okay,” was all I could say. I had no idea what I was doing.  I was just gonna go with it.

The instant Avery pulled my top lip in between his, my anxiety melted away, and was replaced by sensory overload.  Every ounce of my body pulsed. 

He pressed against me closer, harder, pushing his mouth into mine. I grabbed at him, sliding my hands under his jacket, drawing him to me. There wasn’t thought. My body acted independently of my brain, out of my control. I arched my back, meeting his touch at every point of contact.

I breathed him in, finally. He smelled sweet and clean, like oranges and…Glycerin soap. My lips were going numb.

“You okay?” he asked, coming up for air. “I’m, uh, that was even better than I thought it would be.”

“Keep going.” I brought my swollen mouth up to his.

 He traced the edge of my face with his nose, kissing my neck. I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. I twisted my fingers into his hair, pulling his mouth back to mine. His fingertips brushed up and down my waist. He moved his hands around to the small of my back, grasping my hips.  I didn’t push him away.  I wanted this.

Then Melody was saying something and everyone was hurrying around the room. Different, faster music put on.  We stood there stunned, looking into each other’s eyes, letting the intensity move between us for just a second more. Avery backed away from me. He looked like he’d been punched in the mouth.

“Tomorrow, after church, can you meet me at the lake?”

I almost couldn’t get the words out of my own puffy lips. “Yes.  Yeah.  I’ll be there.”

Avery felt electric.  Lying on top of his made bed in the dark, still wearing his church clothes, he listened for his parents, trying to detect any movement coming from their bedroom. All he could hear was the energy coming off of him. The whole room was buzzing.

He kicked his shoes off, letting them fall with a soft thud onto the blue carpet of his bedroom floor.  Sitting up, he took off his suit jacket and white dress shirt, wadding them up and throwing them in the general vicinity of his laundry basket. Lying back down he unbuckled his belt and took his slacks off, pushing them to the end of his bed.

Rolling onto his side, he closed his eyes and pictured Zellie’s face as he leaned in to kiss her.  He traced his lips with his index finger. He smiled, feeling dumb for calling what he and Zellie did just kissing. Again, he had overcome his fears and touched her, touched her the way he’d fantasized about, and it had been effortless, instinctual.